back to article Microsoft splashes big bucks to blast Google Apps

Microsoft is spending big bucks to convince computer users that Google Apps are a risky bet with a new series of ads featuring Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo star Rob Schneider and disgraced athlete and former jailbird Pete Rose – neither of whom presumably come cheap. Both adverts push Microsoft's contention that Google Apps can …

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  1. Oninoshiko
    Devil

    sounds like google should run an ad where they successfully load an ancient office document correctly, while if fails under office.

    This, of course, assumes google docs is on the same level as libre office. As many of us have had this happen.

    1. Craigness

      They could do one where the boss is worried that the prospective client won't be able to open the document he's sending. Nerdy guy says he should save it in a open format. Boss asks why they need Office if they're using open formats.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      LibreOffice also works wonders on files borked by a current/recent version of office too. It's a wonder it doesn't get shipped with every copy of office as "Open in Technical/Recovery Mode" triggered whenever Excel starts leaking too much memory.

      1. big_D Silver badge
        FAIL

        Having...

        Just been through this last week, the MS ads rang a bell...

        Last minute decision to pack all of the powerpoints onto an iPad for a show, Keynote corrupted them all irreperably, QuickOffice wasn't much better and Google Docs was hopeless... PDF to the rescue. :-S

        Now I have the job of converting the last 10 years worth of presentations into Keynote for the next time and keeping the PowerPoint and Keynote presis in sync.

        1. Tim Parker
          Pint

          Re: Having...

          "Now I have the job of converting the last 10 years worth of presentations into Keynote for the next time and keeping the PowerPoint and Keynote presis in sync."

          Blimey mate - what did you do in a previous life ?

          Beer - because you'll need it one way or the other.

        2. DaLo
          Devil

          Re: Having...

          I bet those 10 year old powerpoint presentations are just super-dooper interesting and will keep the audience enthralled for hours. With all those great clip-art, funky transitions and sound effects.

          I would just love to attend one of those presentations....

    3. Erwin Hofmann
      Thumb Down

      cheap shot ... Microsoft ...

      Desperate measures for desperate times ... Microsoft is loosing it ... again ...

  2. Roger Greenwood
    Pint

    How low can you go?

    Subterranean if necessary.

    Looking forward to the counterstrike!

    (tonights beer:- "Blond" from thenookbrewhouse)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dishonourable cheat concerning Pete Rose is actually not totally true (concerning baseball anyway) he was banned from the hall of fame for gambling but he gambled that his teams were going to win not that they were going to lose. Many people in the states feel that he should be allowed into the hall of fame especially considering that the hall of fame rule was put in place after he was kicked out.

    The tax evasion mentioned was from before this occurred in 1985 and 87 and was caused by his gambling addiction.

    Just figured I would throw this info out there as many Brits will have no clue who Pete rose is. He is still I believe the all time hits leader in baseball history which is kinda a big deal.

  4. Herby

    Repeat after me:

    Nothing to see here, please go away.

    Another oxymoron: "Microsoft Comparability". Doesn't apply here, never will.

  5. Bob Vistakin
    Facepalm

    2 words regarding this famous Microsoft compatibility:

    Quirks mode

  6. Dana W

    Seven years 100% Microsoft free, and I couldn't be happier. And I'm far from the only one.

    Microsoft is losing and they know it.

    1. big_D Silver badge

      Lucky

      I managed 4, but I ended up doing so much collaboration work with companies using MS Office, that it was embarassing. I started with an XP/Office 2003 machine in the corner to check formatting, before sending documents out, but it became simpler to abandon my Linux workstation for document creation and do it on the XP machine.

      OO.o and LibreOffice are great products and Google Docs isn't bad, as long as you don't need the advanced features they lack and you don't need to exchange documents with MS Office users. The documents I now have to generate can't even be displayed in Google Docs, because it doesn't support most of the features I use.

      It is a shame, because on simple documents, the collaboration features are great.

      1. Shane Sturrock

        Re: Lucky

        I keep an XP VM with Office installed around just for this purpose. I actually have Office:mac 2011 too but if I was still purely on Linux, either Office on XP in VirtualBox or Crossover Office would do the trick for running MS tool without borking my entire life by having to run that dog's breakfast that is Windows for everything.

        1. big_D Silver badge

          Re: Lucky

          I'll give you a thumbs up, even though I don't share your feelings about Windows - I use Linux, OS X and Windows without any prejudice, they all have their plus and minus points.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Dana W

      "Seven years 100% Microsoft free, and I couldn't be happier."

      Congratulations. have a lollipop. Oops - sorry, no lollipop; Jake's been MS-free longer than you, I believe. Have a pat on the head and a "Well done."

  7. Charles Manning

    Will this backfire?

    When MS ignored Google Docs, there was the impression that MS Office was the real stuff and Google was the "unprofessional stuff"" on the www, although many people are actually using it and finding it useful.

    By taking an adversarial position, MS have actually endorsed Google Docs as being a serious enough contender to fear. I think this will backfire on MS because - apart from some cheesy ads, they really don't really put forward any rational reasons why Office is better.

    1. Thorne
      Trollface

      Re: Will this backfire?

      They'd be better off spending the money on enhancements like the ribbon menu....

  8. RonWheeler

    Hmmm....

    We tried loading an everyday humdrum Excel 6000 row, 250 column spreadsheet into Google Apps and clients (using Chrome on a fast connection) - didn't exactly give positive feedback - on the response times to repeated filtering.

    .

    1. John Halewood

      Re: Hmmm....

      Would a 6000x250 spreadsheet work any better on Office 365 though? Somewhat doubt it.

      There's still a place for local processing, even if everyone (MS most definitely included) wants you to go to the cloud, mostly so they can charge subscription fees - does anyone else think that we're sleepwalking back into the mainframe era?

  9. Gray
    Trollface

    Pots & Kettles, black?

    "El Reg just isn't sure the current tactics of using a dishonorable cheat and a cinematic man-whore is the way to do it."

    Like attracts like ... birds 'n feathers flockin' together ... chickens home to roost ... flies to shite ... crap actors for a crap corporation ... what's the doubtful tactics here?

  10. Denarius
    Trollface

    nah, just end of empires

    Another IT trend coming thru, as the current ones were all accidental, if one notes Cringely. The accidents might be cleaned up at last...

  11. Miek
    Linux

    All aboard the FUD train. Woo Woo!

    1. big_D Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      FUD train?

      Not really. I don't like the adverts and I'm glad such adverts would never get approved over here, but they aren't FUD.

      Google Docs is great, as long as you don't need advanced features. If you have simple document needs and want good collaboration, then Google Docs is a great product. If you need advanced features and formatting, then you need a "real" Office suite. OO.o is streets ahead of Google Docs, but still has a lot of compatibility problems.

      If you regularly need to share documents with companies using MS Office, there is no real alternative, if you don't want to look unprofessional or make yourself a lot of extra work.

      The same works the other way, of course, if you have clients that use Google Docs, you don't really have a choice, but to work on Google Docs with them.

      1. hplasm
        Meh

        Re: FUD train?

        No alternative? Yes there is- send it back and tell them to use a proper format.

        DOCX- i'm looking at you...

      2. Spanners Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: FUD train?

        Google Docs is great, as long as you don't need advanced features.

        So the 80% of people using just 20% of the application will be fine for a start?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        Re: FUD train?

        > If you regularly need to share documents with companies using MS Office, there is no real alternative, if you don't want to look unprofessional or make yourself a lot of extra work.

        The vast majority of the time, you are sending them something to read and not edit.

        In this case, something like an editable format is usually the wrong thing to send.

        We have had PDF as an open presentation standard since about 1991. That is the proper format to be using.

        Sending something to a customer assuming that they have some "specialised" software to read it is downright inconsiderate.

  12. tempemeaty

    Attacking the competition

    Companies who can't deliver often turn to demonizing their competition to make sales.

    Besides, M$ keeps intentionally tweaking their products to prevent interoperability with other professional tools. It's a big world and if M$ isn't willing to make their business software tools interactive with all that's out there then there's no place for M$ in the larger scheme of things.

  13. Anomalous Cowturd
    FAIL

    FUD much?

    Grrr... It really makes me mad.

    How about they make their own software a little more"standards compliant", and then perhaps we wouldn't have these sort of situations?

    What's that you say? Lock in. Never heard of it. Now hand over your cash every month, like a good sheep.

    Twats!

  14. W. Anderson

    It has become impossible for Microsoft to escape the sleazy marketing tactics used in the past in lame attempts to discredit Linux, and other GPL licensed Free/Open Source Software (FOSS) with disastrous results. This is not politics Ballmer, where spewing feces sometimes works. People want reliable, secure "workable" technology.

    Whenever a company of that size, and bank roll resorts to throwing crap against the other guy to show your crap is less distasteful, something is seriously wrong. Microsoft needs to spend those gazillions of dollars improving their software, so that Windows 8 users are not going nuts in frustration as well as getting Internet Explorer (IE), Windows security Essentials and Windows OS overall - desktops and Servers to "not suck so much".

    Such honestly should surely get them some credit from customers.

  15. J 3
    Facepalm

    Oh my...

    Why is it that Microsoft adds suck so much!? I mean, there is no lack of funds to hire the best marketing bods available to mankind, surely. It must be congenital bad taste, I don't know...

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Fihart

      @ J 3 Re: Oh my...

      Microsoft ads probably start life as decent ideas at the agency (unless the creatives are so defeated by previous rejections that they self-censor) and then get strained through the mesh of corporate politics and researched to death.

      This is pretty typical of big (especially US) brands I've worked on. The resulting kludge often barely makes sense.

      Microsoft example breaches a cardinal rule of comparative or "knocking" copy. You don't do it if you're brand leader because it just promotes less known brands -- and the consumer will see them as comparable with your own.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Re: Oh my...

      > Why is it that Microsoft adds suck so much!?

      I have to wonder if there are people out there that respond well to these adverts.

      If I see them they just make me cringe, not because I generally don't use Microsoft products, but because the ads are so frinkin' awful.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Microsoft Innovation©

    When you can't sell your own crapware spend money on trashing the other fellas product. ©

  17. Doug Bostrom

    Microsoft: Innovator of Problems

    Microsoft's main development vector still seems to hinge on making sure that user data is securely locked into their "experience ecosystem" or whatever they're calling their magic spectacles these days.

    It's possible that customers will eventually figure out that when Microsoft says "the other guy's software won't read your data," they really mean "we scrambled your data and you paid us for it, suckers."

  18. jason 7

    Any new machines I set up.....

    ....I switch off Docx by default.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So the solution...

    So that advert tells you to make sure you create the original document in something other than Microsoft Office as it will have problems displaying on other people's systems.

    Use a standard and you'll be fine or create it using a free alternative such as Libre Office then anyone can view it for free if they have an internet connection and a few minutes to download and install the software.

    1. El Andy

      Re: So the solution...

      @AC11:38: "Use a standard and you'll be fine or create it using a free alternative such as Libre Office then anyone can view it for free if they have an internet connection and a few minutes to download and install the software"

      Um, Docx (and the other modern Office files) are ISO standards. I know the freetard brigade like to pretend they aren't, but that doesn't make it true. Google's document renderer may be a bit crappy, but maybe you should whinge at them to be a bit more standards compliant, eh?

      1. Euripides Pants
        Windows

        Re: So the solution...

        "Um, Docx (and the other modern Office files) are ISO standards."

        You mean the ISO standards that even Microsoft doesn't implement properly?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    FUD Spread

    Who better to spread FUD than Rob "Anti-Vax" Schneider.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    It'n Youtube, eh?

    Downvoted by me and 930 others :)

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