back to article Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND

According to a new study, drinking more than three cups of coffee per day has been shown to correlate with an increased risk of developing glaucoma, which can lead to vision loss or blindness. "While caffeinated coffee has several health benefits," lead researcher Jae Hee Kang told Health magazine, "drinking three or more cups …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm, last time I tried to give up coffee I noticed blurred vision then loss of sight. I eventually realised it was because my eyes had closed. Brewed myself a coffee and I was cured. Coffee CURES blindness.

    1. James Micallef Silver badge
      Joke

      Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND

      There's an easy solution - take the teaspoon out of the mug before drinking

      :)

    2. garbo
      Devil

      Or could it be that...

      ...your cupless hand was doing something naughty when you weren't holding that steaming java?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ha! The catholic church tried the same trick on me.

    …And my eyesight is still as good as ever!

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Joke

      Re: Ha! The catholic church tried the same trick on me.

      I always close my eyes when I do it, so it does kind of make me go blind! It's blinding stuff though!

      1. Michael 28
        Happy

        Re: Ha! The catholic church tried the same trick on me.

        Simple solutions

        1 Never poit a "loaded weapn" at anyone, including yourself.

        2. Wear Safety Specs... Health and safety.. it's the aw!

        1. Michael 28
          Happy

          Re: Ha! The catholic church tried the same trick on me.

          Yes I noticed the typos.. thanks

          1. Martin Huizing

            Re: Ha! The catholic church tried the same trick on me.

            Did you notice the typos?

            Sincerely,

            Marty McFly

  3. Jolyon Smith
    Paris Hilton

    YAWNING CAUSES BLINDNESS !!

    "Exfoliation Glaucoma" : I can't help but wonder if tired people drink more coffee than regular folks and also... rub their eyes more.

    File under: "Correlation is not causation"

    Paris because.. rubbing etc.

    1. Ginger

      Re: YAWNING CAUSES BLINDNESS !!

      http://www.stuff.co.nz/technology/digital-living/7774779/The-Internet-blowhards-favourite-phrase

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Scientific standards...

    "[We took a whole bunch of data and found two variables that appear to correlate.

    ZOMG COFFEE WILL MAKE YOU GO BLIND!

    ...even though we have no idea why the two would even be related, and that the correlation could have been spurious.]"

  5. James O'Shea
    Boffin

    In other news

    OXYGEN CAUSES CANCER. Yes, really. Each and every person, indeed each and every animal, who has ever had any cancer of any kind whatsoever has been addicted to the evil chemical O2. All of them. No exceptions. Some get their fix in gaseous form, some get it dissolved in liquid, all animals, all of them, who have ever had any cancer whatsoever have been addicted to oxygen. The use of this dangerous chemical must be stamped out, with immediate effect. Will no one think of the children?

    1. Captain DaFt

      Re: In other news

      It has also been pointed out that oxygen is a major "gateway" drug, since all addicts started out breathing it, and no one that has refused to use oxygen has ever been addicted to drugs.

    2. Archimedes_Circle
      Childcatcher

      Re: In other news

      Please, that's nothing. Oxygem is no addictive that going cold turkey kills you in minutes.

      1. Elmer Phud

        Re: In other news

        When folks die they also suffer from their heart stopping - apparently it happens in 100% of all deaths.

        "Life? it's wasted on the living"

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: In other news

          "Life? Don't talk to me about life!"

          (AC because Marvin wishes he were anonymous)

      2. Psyx
        Pint

        Re: In other news

        Nasty stuff, Oxygen. Pure O2 at 1.4+ Atmospheres is toxic.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: In other news

      "OXYGEN CAUSES CANCER" - So, what your saying is:

      Oxygen = Cancer

      Global Warming = Higher CO2 levels

      Higher CO2 levels = Lower oxygen levels by volume

      Therefore:

      Global Warming = Cure for cancer(?)

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    WHO SAID THAT !?!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Him! ---->

    2. Isendel Steel

      Who said that ?

      Zaphod Beeblebrox (the 3rd) from the afterlife.

    3. Ted Treen
      Facepalm

      Probably...

      ...the same curmudgeon (i.e. me) who, upon reaching 60, has been heard to mutter "Youth is wasted on the young!"

  7. lambda_beta
    Linux

    Water causes drowning

    Researchers have found a correlation between water and drowning. According to the study, the number of drownings increases substantially when water was in the immediate area of the victim. A health warning is forthcoming.

    1. Ralph B
      Black Helicopters

      Re: Water causes drowning

      Current allegations suggest that the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) may be conspiring to cover up the whole Dihydrogen Monoxide issue.

      1. edge_e

        Re: Water causes drowning

        That's the funniest website I've seen for years

  8. William Boyle
    Happy

    My eyes! My eyes!

    No wonder my eyesight is so bad! ... Oh, never mind, they have been myopic since I was 7, well before I started drinking coffee! :-)

  9. Steen Hive
    Coat

    Being a rampant coffee addict

    I was going to take on board the information in this article, then I found my eyesight was too bad to read it.

    1. Grikath
      Pint

      Re: Being a rampant coffee addict

      My eyesight has not deteriorated so far to fail to notice the concept of "caffeïnated coffee" in the very first paragraphs of the article.

      At which point I gave up reading, and proceeded to write my own paper titled "the adverse effects of ethanolated beer on human coordination" so I can submit it to a major science outlet near you Soon(tm).

      1. Hieronymus Howerd

        Re: Being a rampant coffee addict

        Hardly classy to criticise the English skills of a non-native speaker.

  10. Tinker Tailor Soldier
    Facepalm

    No statistically significant means not significant....

    You forced me to read this to the end out of sensationalism? Editors, please ban this author, this was waste of everyone's time.

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      This is the Register ...

      ... so you should expect link bait.

      Rather than editors having to decide about banning authors, I would much prefer the author's name next to the link bait on the home page. That way commentards can make their own decisions.

  11. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge
    Coat

    correlation is not causation

    "correlation is not causation, as we all know from our college classes "

    So you believe that knowing that is correlated with having attended college classes ?

  12. Jtom

    Oh, man. More garbage. Do you know how they do these studies? They start with a mega-study that in reality is just a survey. They ask hundreds of questions, like how many cups of coffee a day do you drink, how many times to you go to the toilet, what health problems do you have, do you eat wheat, and on and on. The 'subjects' self-report - their answers usually only approximate the reality (quick, now, how many cups of coffee a day did you have last week?). Then they do correlations: Look here, Joe, of the people who did x suffered y 10% more often than those who didn't do x. When you have a large questionnaire you can find many things that seem to correlate.

    The problem with that is in any random sampling you have NOISE. Just statistical quirks that mean nothing. Chances are far greater that some 'x' will either be better or worse than 'not x' than 'x' and 'not x' being exactly the same. And every time you find such a variation, you are guaranteed a publishable paper and perhaps make the news.

    Just please don't call it science.

    The science comes after this first phase, when you look at specific anomalies to find out if there's anything really going on, and if so, why and how.

  13. John Latham
    Thumb Down

    "These two studies have yielded literally thousands of articles, almost all of little value."

    Make that thousands and one.

  14. Andy 70

    so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

    is a quad-shot americano (four espressos topped up with water) a cup? certainly fits in one...

    used to do 4 -5 of these a day. is that bad?

    and man the headache's on the weekend! unreal! only when i cleared my first litre of filtered in the morning that they would go away. - reminds me. need to defrost the bacon for tomorrow morning...

    1. eurobloke

      Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

      That isn't a cup of coffee, that is the gateway to Satan's main juice which is a latte.

      It is either espresso or filter, why make a coffee that just taste of hot water.

      1. James Micallef Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

        In the US and Canada, 'cup' sizes are more like children's seaside buckets. Who the hell drink cofee in pints??

        Since what's important is the concentration, not just the size, the correct measure for coffee consumption is 'shots of espresso', although that sounds a bit boring. We need a standard El Reg unit for cofee consumption!

        1. Swarthy
          Boffin

          Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

          I propose the "jolt " as the standard measure of coffee. 1 jolt would be the quantity of coffee that contains 150mg of caffeine. 12oz (355ml) of drip-brew (filter) coffee or 2 shots of espresso.

          A similar measure would be the "belt" as a measure of alcohol, 1 belt being equivalent to 1 pint (450ml) beer, or a shot of 80 proof.

        2. Rukario
          Pint

          Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

          A pint (20 ounces) is the size of the Tim Hortons Large cup. (The Extra Large is 24. Mmmm... Tim Hortons double double.)

          1. Martin Huizing

            Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

            Obligatory Croc Undie reference...

            'That ain't a cup of coffee!... THIS is a cup of coffee!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

      Have one of these <- you strike me as the type who enjoys one or two.

      Keep on keeping on

    3. bitmap animal
      Thumb Up

      Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?

      Absolutely - what is one cup, four shots of high caffeine 'devils brew' or a xxxxbucks Latte?

      A few years ago I was drinking 20-30 shots a day, made up as 4-5 shot Americanos as they are called these days. When I decided to have a break I was fine for a couple of days and started to get blasé about those saying I'd have nasty withdrawal symptoms.

      About 3 days after I stopped I spent a day in bed with horrendous flu like symptoms - then I was fine.

  15. Charles 9

    Hey, you gotta start somewhere.

    Don't knock the article for what is: an observation leading to a hypothesis. Specifically, the statement they'll want to test next is, "Drinking more than three cups of coffee per day results in increase shedding of lens and iris material." I'm only taking the article at face value and won't give it much thought until I hear the results of a follow-up experiment to determine a causal relationship.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So much stupid for some study.

  17. foo_bar_baz
    Facepalm

    Subtlety

    The article specifically says there's a heightened risk, IF you are already genetically disposed to developing glaucoma. It does not say X cups/day -> blindness as per the Reg headline.

    A statistical study is one way to disprove a hypothesis (coffee & exfoliation glaucoma). The results of this one certainly don't disprove it, just offer tentative support.

    The purpose of a paper like this is not to inform your coffee drinking decisions or government policy. It's to let other researchers know the results of your studies, point toward a possible result and direct further studies. If you're demanding for iron clad results in every scientific study, you're not going get many done. Science doesn't progress how a layman would like, it's often slow and leads to dead ends. Deal with it.

    1. Mage Silver badge

      Re: Subtlety

      The purpose of most papers is simply for the author to keep tenure. Many universities you have to publish, the quality of your research, lecturing, tutorials, lab sessions etc isn't measured. Just the number of times you get published and better still getting cited.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Drinking a big mug of coffee whilst reading this.

    And I'll have at least another 4 or 5 before I go home.

    And my mum has glaucoma.

    Thanks for brightening up my friday >:(

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    Give me my drugs or I will kill you.

    Back to my 50 cup of coffee a day habit.

  20. MJI Silver badge
    Pint

    I hate coffee

    Never liked it, hate the smell, never understood why people like it.

    Normally drink decaf tea - caffeine makes me feel het up.

    What will that do for my eyesight?

    Luckily a drink I like is available in the next building to our office building.

    It is just after 10 and I feel like a pint.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: I hate coffee

      I forgot to say, and they are not yet open.

      At least 8 near work selling decent stuff - my dinner time task is to test them.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I hate coffee

      It's an acquired taste, much like for example olives would be to someone who grew up on northern European style food.

      Means that if you grew up on tea, you need to have the occasional cup to get used to the taste if you want to acquire it. Likewise to someone that grew up on coffee, tea can taste quite bland and takes a bit of getting used to to appreciate the subtleties.

      1. MJI Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: acquired taste

        Well I can't be bothered trying to acquired it.

        I still think those roasters which put coffee fumes out on pavements should be banned.

        Hang on the pubs are open now, hmm Thatchers or Westons decisions decisions

      2. Mike Flugennock

        Re: I hate coffee

        While we're on the subject, a question for all the Brits on here: do you drink tea for the reason we drink coffee over here -- to get yourselves wired up and out of zombie mode in the morning? Most people I know say it in jest, but I really am useless before my first cup of coffee in the morning, seriously. For the first fifteen minutes after I get out of bed, I shuffle around as if I'm catatonic, or drunk, until I can get that first hot swig or two slamming into my blood.

        Over the past ten years or so, tea has become fairly popular over here with the hipster types. I've tried various varieties out of curiosity, but found it rather bland and unfulfilling. Of course, it could just be because we don't really know how to make proper tea over here. There's a couple of major brands of tea that are popular over here, and one of them is that Celestial Seasonings stuff, that flippy-dippy flavored herbal tea. That damn' stuff has the opposite effect of what I'm after -- it puts me to sleep, f'crissake. Who the hell needs that?

        1. Corinne
          Boffin

          Re: I hate coffee

          I don't find tea gives the instant shot in the arm effect of coffee first thing can do, but a decent cup of breakfast tea can wake me up in a more soothing manner.

          Many of the herbal teas & infusions are specifically designed to have a calming effect, so lay off those first thing! As a first try, find a standard brand like Tetleys, PG tips or (preferably) Yorkshire Tea. Add tea bag to the mug with any sugar you require, add BOILDING water to the mug leaving a small gap in the top for any milk you require. Add milk, then stir gently until the tea reaches your preferred shade and remove the tea bag. For a newcomer to tea drinking, I would suggest something a little darker than natural cardboard - any weaker & you won't get enough taste, much stronger & you may take a while to get used to the taste of the tannin in the tea.which can have an almost metallic taste to it.

          Theres an idea for Lester to run with - we've had bacon butties, now how about the nectar of the gods to wash it down with? I could see that one being even more controversial!

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I hate coffee

          American tea bears as much similarity to a decent cuppa as Starbucks does to a cup of coffee. Coffee first thing in the morning makes me want to puke, tea is a soothing way to get going. Coffee comes in around 10am.

          Irrelevant factoid:

          One of the few things the French have in common with the Americans is that neither knows how to make a proper cup of tea.

    3. Martin Huizing
      Trollface

      Re: I hate coffee

      A pint of decaf tea?

      1. MJI Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: I hate coffee

        No cider

  21. MortisDei
    Unhappy

    and Tea?

    what does this research mean for tea? personally i hate coffee, but i drink tea from a mug so large i need to double-bag it to get a decent cuppa, it's 3-4 regular cups of tea all at once, and i can drink 2-4 of these a day.

    am i fooked?

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: and Tea?

      I am interested too

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sceptical...

    Seeing is believing!

    But more serious though; studies like these are going on forever. First one has to wonder how realistic and truthful these findings are. Sure; they may look genuine now but just give it time. It won't be the first "shocking conclusion" which gets debunked a few months later (but such news usually only finds its way on page 6 or 7 of the newspaper) and it won't be the last.

    I like to cook. Not a fanatical cook or such, but from time to time I like spending a few hours to cook up a good meal. As such one can expect that I also have a cookbook, though I also heavily use the Net for this (never underestimate what you can learn from other people's advices or tips, even though you might not agree with them!). Like with computers I don't need hand holding, I need a guide telling me the basics, and from there on I'll find my own way. So my cookbook dates from 1960 or so and it explains the very essence of (Dutch) meals. The seasoned dishes, common dishes and everything around it (how to make certain sauces, what kind of ingredients make variation, etc, etc.).

    The book starts with an introduction: "What is healthy now is soon to be claimed unhealthy and the bad dishes often turn out not that bad anymore when new studies have been performed".

    I kid you not; such studies have been going on for ages. Its the same with everything else: just try not to overdo it, then you should be fine.

    Speaking of which: ever heard of nutmeg ? Its a spice with a very specific and strong flavour. and commonly used throughout the world. However, consuming too large amounts can actually be poisonous. Yet that never seems to bother anyone...

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Glaucoma

    Glaucoma is due to increased intra-ocular pressure.

    Marijuana has been shown to decrease intra-ocular pressure

    Coffee + joint = balanced pressure :)

    1. James 36
      Happy

      Re: Glaucoma

      beat me to it

      bah !

    2. Mike Flugennock
      Thumb Up

      Re: Glaucoma

      Glaucoma is due to increased intra-ocular pressure.

      Marijuana has been shown to decrease intra-ocular pressure

      Coffee + joint = balanced pressure :)

      Now, there's a man after my own heart.

      When I have a bit of extra cash around and can score some bud, I like nothing more than to "wake'n'bake" in the morning -- I work out of my home studio so I can get away with it -- with a nice big mug of strong coffee, black with sugar, and just a couple of drags off a joint, just enough to take the raw edge off the caffeine.

      I'm usually up around 7am, but don't actually start working until 9ish, so that's two hours to enjoy my first cup, a short smoke, and the morning news, and I'm awake, relaxed and ready to roll by 9am. For me, it's been a pretty much perfect combination ever since college.

  24. ChrisCabbage

    I thought it was hand shandies which cause blindness?

  25. hi_robb
    Facepalm

    Oh dear

    I have several cups of coffee each day and a wank!

    I'm buggered..

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon

      Re: Oh dear

      "I'm buggered.."

      I only thought it made you go blind. Bugger.

  26. Ben 54

    Fruits are dangerous as well!

    In recent studies they found that everyone who ate fruit 200 years ago died. Conclusion is fruit MUST be bad for you.

    On topic, been drinking 10 to 15 cups of coffee per day, i work in IT afterall. Been like this for 20 years, im the only one not wearing glasses in the office, and even more, im one of the few who havent walked into the glass door at the entrance because the auto door doesnt work. Coincidence?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Fruits are dangerous as well!

      "First of all you force him to drop the banana, next you eat the banana thus disarming him. You have now rendered him helpless."

  27. the-it-slayer
    Pint

    NO-ONES TAKING MY STARBUCKS AWAY FROM ME!

    Haven't the people who have done these studies realised that ANYTHING potentially harmful to you will give you an increased chance of anything bad if you take more of it?

    I've ruined my eyes more by reading that article and slowly degenerating my eye muscles. Anyway, this study is not going to stop going to see my favourite barista in the morning who knows my name, knows my favourite coffee and does it the way I like it.

    Beer icon because there's no coffee icon here and it's Friday.

    1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: NO-ONES TAKING MY STARBUCKS AWAY FROM ME!

      Don't worry, you can't get coffee from a Starbucks anyway, just vaguely caffeinated milk.

      1. Mike Flugennock

        Re: NO-ONES TAKING MY STARBUCKS AWAY FROM ME!

        Don't worry, you can't get coffee from a Starbucks anyway, just vaguely caffeinated milk.

        Seriously, man... I think the success of Starbucks is proof that most Americans don't know shit from decent coffee.

    2. MJI Silver badge
      Pint

      Stuff coffee have a beer!

      Barista sounds, so, so, umm wet.

      It is just a coffee shop!

      <---- proper drink

  28. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
    Boffin

    If the results are not statistically significant

    the it isn't a result. it isn't newsworthy, and it probably isn't proper science.

  29. Bad Beaver
    Holmes

    Caffeine is a hell of a drug. Just try quitting.

    Caffeine is a wonderful stimulant and has a number of positive qualities. It is also superbly addictive and highly tolerance building. It is a drug and just because it is legal does not mean that it is safe or good for you in large quantities. Duh.

    I used to be a heavy user of caffeine in all its wonderful forms, and for what it's worth: Ever since I limited myself to one strong cup in the morning I do notice several positive developments.

    This includes: More balanced mood, improved mental focus, better quality of sleep, and yes, LESS EYESTRAIN.

    So if you do suffer from glaucoma, a painful pressure in your eyes or general eyestrain, mood swings, irritability, messed up sleep patterns or the inability to "think straight" without a couple 100mg of C8H10N4O2 in your system – try lowering your dosage. Just like quitting nicotine it is not exactly a pleasant process at first but I assure you it is worth it.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  30. Blubster
    Coat

    Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND

    What are the effects if you're drinking coffee and having a wank at the same time - do you go blind twice as quick?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Flame

      Re: Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND

      Risk of second-degree burns followed by walking funnily.

  31. Mike Flugennock

    Do I feel lucky?

    Well, hell, I've been drinking coffee like water since I was about 17; I'm 55 now, so I guess I'm pretty lucky. I even developed a taste for chocolate-covered espresso beans about twenty years ago (chocolate and coffee, the one-two punch!)

    Granted, I've had to use reading glasses since I was 40, but then, so did my Dad -- who, btw, was also a coffee junkie. The reading-glasses-at-40 thing is probably just normal aging, though, so what the hell...

    Waiter, waiter! Percolator!

  32. Luke 1

    If drinking too much coffee can make you blind ...

    ... then people in the Nordic countries are seriously at risk, or already blind

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_coffee_consumption_per_capita

    For example, we Finns drink almost three times as much coffee as the Americans.

    Long time ago there was a study that showed a strong correlation between ice cream sales and drowning accidents with both peaking in July. Proposed remedy was to require proof of swimming skills when buying ice cream ;-)

    1. Charles 9
      Joke

      Re: If drinking too much coffee can make you blind ...

      "Long time ago there was a study that showed a strong correlation between ice cream sales and drowning accidents with both peaking in July. Proposed remedy was to require proof of swimming skills when buying ice cream ;-)"

      I think they went against it because they learned the problem was caused by ice cream stands stationed right next to the pools. Kids would get ice cream (popular on a hot July day), eat, jump in the pool, and CRAMP, causing the drowning incidences. Since cramps can be dangerous even for a skilled swimmer, they instead just banned ice cream (and any other food) from pools. Isn't that why you can't find a snack machine around a pool anymore?

    2. Rukario
      Pint

      Re: If drinking too much coffee can make you blind ...

      I'm sure the Finns drink far more coffee...

      Depends on your definition of coffee.

      If one definition (say, the Finnish definition) is the infusion of water through ground coffee beans*

      and the other (from a coffee shop called SunDeers) is a pint** of water or frothy milk with a small tincture of the above coffee mix, then the proportion is far, far greater than 3:1.

      *this is El Reg, no doubt I'll be given correct terminology

      ** venti = 20 (ounces) = 1 pint

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