back to article Techie stages 'strip down' protest at TSA 'harassment'

An Oregon man who "does something with the internet" stripped stark naked at Portland airport on Tuesday in a protest at TSA screening policies. John E Brennan, 50, turned up to board a flight San Jose yesterday, according to reports, but took umbrage at the TSA's screening procedures. KATU News reports that Brennan said he …

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  1. Suburban Inmate

    No pics please, we believe you it happened!

    1. Tzael

      If it were a woman who staged the protest you'd be screaming "pics please or it didn't happen!" :P

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Suburban Inmate
        Thumb Up

        Yup. I'm a heterosexual male.

        If I were a heterosexual woman I might also be screaming POIDH but whatever floats ya boat I suppose! :)

        (make the obvious adjustments to the above for homo/bisexualiy)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          So you assume that...

          ... Every homo/bi-sexual will be screaming POIDH just because it's a man who stripped down?

          You're deluded.

        2. jukejoint

          don't think so

          As a hetwoman I can say with confidence that we've seen enough. please.

          You all think a lot more of it that we do, trust me.

      3. Bucky 2

        Komonews.com HAS the pics, with the naughy bits blocked out. Lets just say he's not a poster boy and leave it at that.

        1. Anonymous Custard

          So did CNN Europe when I turned on the TV this morning.

          Let's just say it wasn't quite the image I wanted to see having just woken up and turned on the TV in my hotel room...

          1. AndrueC Silver badge
            Joke

            Of course we have our standards.

            * Acceptable gender.

            * Human.

            * Willing.

            We won't shag just anything ya know :)

      4. Richard 81

        Not necessarily

        It would depend on her age and appearance. We do have some standards.

        ...OK maybe not.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Google has all his personal info

      There was nothing left to hide

      1. Gordon Fecyk
        Black Helicopters

        And I thought I had an agenda.

        This AC is just out for Google blood today.

      2. hplasm
        FAIL

        Re: Google has all his personal info

        Oh do piss off, Ellison.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well..

    On the flip side, at least if his backscatter gets posted on 'teh interwebs" his dignity will be preserved.

    AC/DC and why is this tech news?!

    1. ElReg!comments!Pierre

      Re: Well..

      > why is this tech news?!

      The guy "does something with the internet".

      Works for me.

    2. Rob

      Re: Well..

      Who cares, it's in Bootnotes you numpty, does anyone pay attention to the articles they are reading.

      1. TeeCee Gold badge
        IT Angle

        Re: Well..

        Simpler explanation. It's got nudity in it, therefore it belongs on the internet and there's yer IT angle......

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Well..

        Does anyone pay attention to the use of a question mark to denote a question.

        Can you imagine how stupid people appear when they are incapable of using basic language.

        Where did these people learn to read and write.

        Have they actually ever read any printed words.

        Do you think it would be beneficial for mankind if these people were all isolated on a far-away island so they can spout nonsense at each other and not bother anyone else.

  3. darkmage0707077
    Joke

    Though, you realise, they're going to make a playmobile representation of this to go along with all the other ones people want to see...

  4. ElReg!comments!Pierre

    Good man

    and cue the usual posts along the line "If you object to that baton being repeatedly rammed up your rectum, then don't fly" in 3, 2, 1...

  5. Someone Else Silver badge
    Go

    Joins John Tyner in the Security Theater Hall of Fame

  6. Jeebus

    Hahaha. Well played sir, I salute you.

    Err, maybe not.

  7. Ben 50
    Facepalm

    Well played

    You're a potential threat, and so should be forced to wait in line to be scanned, poked (sometimes), oggled and prodded by nasty bored small minded oafs, just like the obedient piece of meat you are.

    "I'm not a threat, look I'm Naked."

    You're a potential lunatic, psychogically unhinged, frightening the children by not being a threat, and therefore must be arrested immediately.

    Rock meet Hardplace.

  8. Bill Neal
    Pint

    Stress?

    "He's never really under any stress. He works for a computer company in California. He does something with the Internet, which is just kind of mystical to me."

    Thanks for making me feel like it was Friday for a moment, made my day!

  9. Dan Paul
    Devil

    Hat's off to Mr. Brennan, better use the Nudist defense.

    I can't blame the man since the TSA will see him "unclothed" in the "Scanner" and he might as well show he has nothing to hide. I'm sure the TSA people have a little less fondling to do when the man is completely nude.

    Doesn't that mean he's "helping them do their job"? I assume his actions were a proper response to their requests.

    1. Keep Refrigerated
      Joke

      Re: clothes off too!

      Obviously, they shouldn't have asked him to reveal his concealed weapon...

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This gives me an idea

    There should be a fast-track for airport passengers willing to go through the nudie aisle and put all their clothes through the scanner. We should promote this as a less objectionable alternative to the backscatter scanner and watch the hilarity ensue.

    1. LaeMing
      Go

      While the muzak plays 'Yakkety Sax'

    2. Meph
      WTF?

      Re: This gives me an idea

      Less objectionable? are you serious!?

      I'm pretty sure sooner or later, something will come along that needs scanning, and is highly objectionable.

    3. Wize

      Re: This gives me an idea

      Just imaging the queue of men trying not to get too close to the guy in front or behind though fear of bumping into them.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: This gives me an idea

      Great idea, if I ever visit the USA that would be my preferred screening method over a pat down by a TSA guy...

      That is why I prefer Chinese security screening, it may be thorough, but its very quick, well staffed, and done by a petite Chinese lady usually.. and the reason that is good is less threatening than if a burly man does it... and well if their hand slips, or they decide to check your button fly is really just buttons... it doesn't hurt...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    does a naked passenger take up more space than a clothed one.

    depends how far out the baby is

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If he's this dumb...

    ...he definitely should not be allowed on an airplane.

    1. Danny 14

      Re: If he's this dumb...

      I wouldnt worry, I guess if he tried to fly again all sorts of alarms will go off at the check in desk.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    a tad too far

    I had a similar idea, but if/when I fly again I will be wearing a banana hammock so I will be showing nothing illegal.

    Alternatively I will forgo the backscatter and insist my patdown be very public. Would the TSA's fondling of me in front of children be considered "obscene" ?

    1. Juiceman

      Re: a tad too far

      Will this be done to the tune of 'Mr Tangerine Speedo'?

    2. kain preacher

      Re: a tad too far

      But you will be banned from boarding by the airliner. Banned based on non published rules. See the lady that got tossed off South west.

      1. Graham Bartlett
        Pint

        Re: a tad too far

        I don't think they call it "tossing off" for ladies. Although it's a better kind of customer service than I've ever had from immigration. How do you know which direction she was facing, though?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Scan me baby!

    I would love to go thru the scanner with a large phallic object in my pants. 18 inches should do it...

    Let me beat the punters to it. Yes I am overcompensating for something. :-p

    1. Danny 14

      Re: Scan me baby!

      I wouldnt if I were you. Americans are very very prudish when it comes to dildos. They dont mind weapons and bad language though.

      1. jukejoint
        Childcatcher

        Dildos and Americans?

        Yes, prudish in public like the hypocrites we are trained to be. We moved into a new flat some years ago and I decided to put in a garden in the back. Shovel in ground, first thing dug up was an old dildo - and my 5 yr old was upset not to be given it as a toy.

  15. Jason Togneri
    Facepalm

    "... including children"

    Oh dear god, heaven forbid that children learn that people are all fundamentally IDENTICAL underneath the clothes we wear. All men have penises, all women have vaginas, most computer programmers have as much tits as women, and many of us are flabby and wrinkled. I'd hate to break the stereotype of the idealised mid-20s Aryan body figure but seriously, is it so bad if kids learn that a human body is just, basically, a human body?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "... including children"

      "...most computer programmers have as much tits as women..."

      Hey, I don....<squeeze squeeze>...

      Appear to be an A-cup :-(

    2. ElReg!comments!Pierre

      Re: "... including children"

      "most computer programmers have as much tits as women"

      You sir live in a sad place.

      Where I live women are not Kate Moss lookalike, so they are usually better endowed than even the worst soda-and-pizza-bred "IT specialist". You do have to deal with the occasional muffin-top, but the B2B* ratio is still definitely tipping towards the programmers.

      *Belly to Bosom

      1. Danny 14

        Re: "... including children"

        hey! our IT department have an 8 man concept 2 league entry! We arent all fatties (most of us are ex military though)

    3. h4rm0ny

      Re: "... including children"

      "most computer programmers have as much tits as women"

      Contrary to stereotypes I know, but many computer programmers *are* women, thanks.

      1. Alex Rose
        Joke

        Re: "... including children"

        @h4rm0ny

        And hence they will also "have as much tits as women".

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "... including children"

        where are they though? not where I've worked recently :-(

  16. Sly
    Meh

    Think of the children!

    shoulda just left the shorts on... then the cops wouldn't be so inclined to grasp at my title here.

    1. hplasm
      Happy

      Re: Think of the children!

      Don't let the cops grasp your title!

      Caught by the fuzz.

  17. ph0b0s
    Trollface

    Ahead of his time....

    Come on, it's only going to be another few years before we all have to strip down to be able to board a plane. This guy was just conforming to a future screening regimen.....

  18. Michael Friesen
    Pint

    Never mind the children; think of Lester Haines!

    Clearly, this guy is a Register fan!

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/08/22/ryanair_security/

  19. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Joke

    Maybe

    I should try that the next time my metal implants cause the scanner to go 'BING'

  20. Winkypop Silver badge
    Devil

    Don't look Ethel !!

    Too late, she looked.

    1. EddieD

      Re: Don't look Ethel !!

      My word, that dates you.

      Okay, us.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Chasers pulled roughly the same stunt a few years back...

    But they didn't get arrested, because the had their own video crew following them. As a matter fact, the did it with bathing trunks on and the security guard said they ought to take those off as well !

    See:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3grHjibNdA

  22. Scott 19
    Coat

    TSA

    All this guy has to do is go though the courts in the US and wait.

    It's the old chicken and egg defence, what will come first his court case or the TSA demanding all passengers stripe naked to be searched.

    My moneys on the TSA.

    Oh and if you wondering I have no interest in going to America while they have one of the biggest terror organisations in the world the TSA. Simple test what terrorise you more Al-Queda or the TSA?

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Stripe Naked

      Scott, if you look like a zebra with your clothes off it is probably better to keep that to yourself.

  23. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
    Coat

    Is this the first time..

    .. that TSA screening hurts your EYES?

    The one with the rubber gloves, thanks..

  24. Wize
    Coat

    "...wearing nothing but glasses and a fine beard."

    And where was he wearing the beard?

    At least someone paid enough attention to make sure the beard looked good...

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No one is holding a gun to his head

    He isn't being forced to fly. He can walk, take a bus, cab, train or row boat with out being checked for security.

  26. Richard Freeman
    Happy

    I wonder what job he has?

    hmmm,

    "He's never really under any stress. He works for a computer company in California. He does something with the Internet"

    Not stressful? that counts out most Tech jobs, does something with the Internet, Comfortable with nudity?

    Only one thing it could be!

    He reviews Porn for a living!

    Lucky bastard!

  27. Boris S.

    Good to weed out these nutcakes before they get on a plane

    Soon they'll be parking a truck with white coat lads at each airport for potential passengers or pilots needing some R&R at the padded cell hotel.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe they should creat a new seating system for people like this

    Have them sit in a specific seat and when the plane reaches 20,000 meters, eject them.

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