back to article Does a flash motor make a man more desirable?

The long-debated question of whether women find a man more attractive if he drives a flash car (or in other ways spends cash conspicuously) has been further muddied by an alliance of psychologists and biz profs in the States. Carrying out a survey among 1,000 American subjects, the soft-studies profs sought to find out what …

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  1. The Bit Wrangler
    Holmes

    Sponsor ?

    Was this study sponsored by Porsche ?

  2. Tegne

    I wonder how he'd analyze the mixed message my previous choice of car sends out.

    Married 38 year old man with Mercedes SLK. I was told at length what my mates thought about it.. the gits.

  3. ardubbleyu
    Stop

    Oi!

    What's wrong with driving a Honda Civic?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      What's wrong with driving a Honda Civic?

      Read the article and you'll be enlightened :)

    2. alexh2o
      Joke

      F*ck your Honda Civic...

      ...I've got a horse outside!

      ( For reference.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPFZrRD3J8 )

  4. Ged T
    Happy

    Welcome back, political incorrectness!

    That's all.

  5. Richard Jukes

    Hard Life

    Tis a hard life for every Porsche owner eh?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      It can be

      I was sitting in the beer garden enjoying some fine female company. Boxter roars(ish) into the car park with much sound and fury. Heads turn (possibly because said pub was popular with local constabulary).

      Out steps tanned, groomed aviator wearing driver who scans his hunting ground before swaggering over to our table. Keys plonked down, presumably as some way to try and mark territory or establish male dominance.

      "So, do you like my car?" he says to my rather fine looking friend. She looks at the car, looks at him, smiles and says "How cute, a baby Porsche. Will it grow up?"

      Cue much laughter from the rest of us and the tables near by. Cue more when the poor driver stalls trying to make a quick exit.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Devil

        Well... Ancient law of nature...

        Like dissolves in alike.

        Guess your friend was not what he was looking for.

        No worries, he will find it a few pubs down the road.

        By the way, I would not mind being introduced to your friend. As Animal from Muppet Show used to say "My kind of Woman...": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yvHWyvexZA

  6. The last doughnut
    Holmes

    I for one

    Welcome this opportunity to use the new "No sh!t, Sherlock" icon.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Best of both worlds

    I drive an eco-box, but also ride a big, red sportsbike - questionably 'flashier' than a flashy motor.

    What do I win?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Stop

      What do you win?

      The chance to smear yourself across the tarmac because some dozy motorist isn't looking, of course.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Yes..

        because the "dozy" motorist didnt see the tit in black leather with a black helmet, hurtling down a road at mach million at 11.30 pm on a black motorcycle..Until it was too late..

        Because, had the organ donor observed the speed limits then he wouldnt have T-boned the car pulling out because they and the "dozy" motorist would both have had time to react.

        1. dogged

          "Red"

          What part of this word do you have a problem with?

    2. andybird123

      you win...

      gravel rash, well done you

    3. Gareth Gouldstone
      Happy

      The admiration of gay bikers?

      But only if you're wearing well-fitting leathers!

  8. Allan George Dyer
    WTF?

    I give up...

    Where do the trick cyclists come into it?

    1. Blake St. Claire
      Boffin

      trick cyclist = psychiatrist

      That's british rhyming slang for you – do try to keep up, will you.

      The psychiatrist(s) would be the ones who did the study that came up with this brilliant result.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I give up...

      http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/trick_cyclist

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

  9. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Previous experience dictates

    Mid 20s I took the plunge and bought a sports car (quarter life crisis?).

    Did my notch count no difference whatsoever.

    When parked up, it actually got more comments from fellas than it did any ladies.

    So sports cars = great way to get chatting to boy racers, but crap for pulling.

    1. Marcus Aurelius
      Go

      -1 Disagree

      As someone with a face only a mother could love, I can only say my success with women went from zero to hero on buying a Lotus Esprit Turbo SE in my mid-late 20s

      Unfortunately so did the points on my license....

    2. andybird123

      sports car?

      depends on what your definition of sports car is

      ferraris, lambos, top end porkers, are all proven fanny magnets, I think the key is that the car has to cost at least 100K when new and be a household name

      I've had various fast Japanese cars and women don't bat an eyelid (until I step out of it obviously, they are only human)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        sports car?

        Granted it wasn't 100k when new, but it was from an Italian household name, a revvy engine with a lightweight body, fantastic handling, Paninfarina styling and featured in many late 90s/early 2000s racing games.

        Wasn't a supercar by any means. In fact, I'd only thought about it as a coupe, it was only when it was in getting (one of many) repairs that the girl I'd been going out with said "You should really get rid of that sports car. I never really liked it."

        She was happier when I bought a big middle-aged looking Peugeot, and then a big lazy Japanese coupe (which is more pipe and slippers than cigar and gucci).

        Which either means I'm 'marraige' material (she's still with me) rather than Porsche-driving 'one night' material, or that girls aren't fussed.

        1. Adrian Esdaile
          Trollface

          Italian household name

          'that bloody useless FIAT' doesn't count, despite being a common household expression.

          Fix It Again, Tony

      2. Jim 59
        Happy

        Rice burners

        Doesn't have to cost 100k, Andybird. It just needs to look flash and feel flash and not be old. 10 year old Porche is too old. Imprezza too ordinary. What about a shiny new MX-5 ? Sorted.

        1. asiaseen

          Speaking of rice burners

          a chap in China faked a Lamborghini out of a Nissan something and only got found out because he forgot to put a licence plate on it.

  10. Ted Treen
    Pint

    Yawn...

    Can't think why anyone would consider it worthwhile to even study such a thing.

    Yes, you can pull some girls with your wallet (See WAGs) but they're generally airheads/bimbos.

    Beer? - well, it's Friday.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Devil

      Re: Yawn...

      Face it: you're just sour. :-)

      1. Ted Treen
        Holmes

        not at all, old lad.

        I just prefer females with at least a modicum of intelligence & personality. Those who are attracted solely by a flash motor are generally lacking in both. And it's not a sexist thing - the male sex has its share of vapid shallowness as well.

        1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

          Re: not at all, old lad.

          What *is* it with you lot and 'females'? You realise it makes you sound like you're talking about horses or something. We are *women*, if you don't mind.

          1. Admiral Grace Hopper

            What *is* it with you lot and 'females'?

            I think it's due to the component-centric view of your typical IT-enculuured dweeb who categorise the entire world into things that are plugged into other things and things that have things plugged into them. They can't help it, bless 'em. (BTW, if any of you have DIN gender changer kicking around can you pass it on? I've got a keyboard that I re-purpose if I could switch it from a male pin-out to a female one. Thank you).

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Joke

            @ Sarah Bee

            I could say something about coming from Norfolk, and being able to notice the difference between the women and the horses as actually quite hard. But I won't.

            1. Ted Treen
              Joke

              Ah Norfolk...

              You can count on people from Norfolk....

              ...up to 12 if you use all their fingers...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      WAGS == Wives and Girlfriends

      I think forgot the required prefix of "Football'ers" or "Chav's".

      Paris - I she had not been born into money, she'd probably be doing tricks to get it.

  11. Peter Clarke 1
    Coat

    Title? We don't need no stinkin' title!

    I was in the gym when the female fitness instructor walked in. I asked her which machine should I use to impress her. She looked me up and down and said try the ATM down the street!

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Title? We don't need no stinkin' title!

      Heh. You got served.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      @ the gym

      I was in the gym when the female fitness instructor walked in. I asked her which machine would I be best suited to? She looked me up and down and said try the machine in the foyer. The one with the kitkats!

  12. Ooo-wait-BUT!
    Trollface

    Soft science makes me gag

    By making such a strong distinction between men and women; and insofar as it is men making the car purchase and women making subjective pronouncements based solely on that purchase choice these 'academics' have failed at very significant levels:

    Firstly - the sexist clause... this survey was doomed from the word go when it approached the research phase already knowing what result it was looking for;

    Secondly - the lack of a decent data pool... was there a representative sample of ethnically rare one-legged single parent lesbians in the survey?

    Thirdly - the interpretation of subjective observations: there are two distinct types of women (of the subset of women who are interested solely in men); those who value a man for the person he is (the Civic buyer) and those who fuck for money.

    But, it's America... so we can let them off. It's not like they know how to do any REAL science.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Soft science makes me gag

      I appreciate the attempt at humour, but please don't give up the day job just yet.

  13. DB2k
    Paris Hilton

    new hip required

    soooooooooooo.. driving a Porsche will get me loads of bedroom action, but mean that none of them want to settle down or cuddle? Porsche should put this in their advertising, verbatim.

    1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Already been done...

      In the movie "Crazy People":

      "Jaguar - For men who'd like hand-jobs from beautiful women they hardly know." and "Volvo - they're boxy but they're good."

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: new hip required

      Replace cuddle with talk and you've got an idea there.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Nice car

    Shame about your penis.

  15. Bunker_Monkey
    IT Angle

    Porsche.... everyones got a porsche except me!

    (jingles keys to his brand new, gleaming Lotus Exige - yeah i wish!)

    Cause Porsches are overbloated toys in my opinion, I would only buy a british sports car with much better handling and less understeer..

    Wheres the IT angle on this? Shame I can't have the same effect with a monster gaming pc!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Unhappy

      @Bunker_Monkey

      Fro experience my Exige gathers more attention from 14 year old boys than hot women...

    2. Bradley
      FAIL

      title

      yeah, because understeer is such a turn-off.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Porsches are overbloated toys in my opinion

      No, Porsches are VW Beetles that have been put through a loose mangle. Audi TTs are the rejects from this process.

      1. 42
        Thumb Up

        I always say

        Someone dropped a large shipping container on a Beetle, but otherwise, you da man man.

      2. 42

        I always say

        Someone dropped a large shipping container on a Beetle, but otherwise, you da man man.

        1. Ted Treen
          Trollface

          I heard you

          first time.

  16. Pedro Mendosa
    Thumb Up

    "...repeated and questionably-necessary redecorating.."

    What a phrase!

  17. Tom_

    Just cars?

    Does this work if I have a really good graphics card?

    1. Richard 120
      Meh

      No

      No it does not.

      1. brimful

        How about

        loads-a-ram???

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Just cars?

      I suppose it does if you manage to churn lots of Bitcoins out of it (see? there's always hope)

  18. Scott Broukell
    Happy

    Always the flashy tings innit .....

    I've always started from the point of seeking to have a relationship with a woman who has a mind of her own - interesting and intelligent and not in the least bit interested in flashy motors. Sure looks are important but there's so much more than mere superficiality. And no, before you ask, I haven't exactly bedded thousands of women - that's not where I'm coming from (pun intended).

    I must be a nerdy, grumpy, freak I guess - but I'm happy that way.

    1. Ted Treen
      Alert

      @Scott

      Every woman I've ever met has had a mind of her own.

      With one or two, it was in mint condition, 0 miles on the clock, never been used...

      (await severe ticking off from Ms Bee)

      1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

        Re: @Scott

        Tsk.

  19. TeeCee Gold badge
    Joke

    Once upon a time......

    ......an Elephant was walking through the jungle and fell into quicksand.

    "Help", he cried, "help, I can't get out and I'm going to die!"

    A nearby mouse heard his calls and came to see what was going on. On seeing the situation, he called out; "Hang on a moment, I'll get my Ferrari!". Off he went and returned a few moments later in his Ferrari. He threw a rope to the Elephant and tied the other end to the Ferrari. "Hang on", he said and floored it. The Ferrari spun its wheels, the traction control cut in and the Elephant was pulled from the quicksand.

    "Oh thank you", exclaimed the Elephant, "If ever you need anything, just call!"

    As it happened, a couple of weeks later the mouse also fell into quicksand. "Help me, help me", he screamed. The Elephant, who was within earshot, heard him and came running.

    "Hold on", said the Elephant, "I have an idea". He sat down, took out a jazz mag and started looking at the pictures. As he did so, his John Thomas got bigger and bigger and bigger until it stretched out all the way across the quicksand to the mouse. The mouse jumped onto it and ran to safety.

    Which all goes to prove that if you have a really big dick, you don't need a Ferrari........

    1. Jolyon

      On the other hand, in this sticky situation

      You might say that if you are slumped on the floor in public with a bongo mag in hand and a sandy-footed rodent running the length of you even owning a Ferrari isn't going to make you look any better.

  20. Will 28

    We carried out a survey of 1000 women

    The survey was conducted by a male underwear model in tight fitting jeans and no shirt. He arrived in a porsche. The survey concluded they were interested in casual sex with men who drive a porsche, but definitely weren't trying to marry him.

  21. John Tserkezis

    It depends on where you go "shopping".

    "And, gentlemen, women can see right through it."

    Not all of them. The GUYS can see straight through it, but many females either can't, or won't.

    It's not all bad though, believe it or not, there ARE some sensible women out there.

    Depends on where you "shop".

  22. floweracre
    Pint

    Fanny Magnet

    I haven't heard that phrase for 20 years, takes me back to being 18.

    A well underused term, lets reserrect (yeah I know) it.

    Tony

    1. Wize

      I know a guy who constantly called his car a 'fanny magnet'.

      It did attract one fanny.

      The one behind the wheel

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Childcatcher

      Greased Lightning

      To quote lyrics of this popular family favourite:

      "You know that I ain't braggin' she's a real pussy wagon"

  23. Scott 19
    Angel

    poor-man's Porsche

    'poor-man's Porsche ' - The guy at work just doesn't get it when I point out he may own a Porsche but it's a poor mans one. Nice to see it's more than just me that thinks this way.

    Get a real car or get behind me and cut my hair.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      poor-man's Porsche

      'poor-man's Porsche' used to be a tag used on the Skoda Rapide. A coupe version of the Skoda Estelle. Rear engineed, so tail-happy-into-a-tree fun as per 80s Porsche 911s.

      Wouldn't exactly be a craddock-magnet, but for those in the know an approving nod would be given.

    2. Dan 10
      IT Angle

      Nope

      That will be why the Boxster has a list of awards as long as my arm.

      Sorry but you just sound jealous.

      1. bobbles31
        Coat

        The honda Jazz

        has a list of awards longer than your arm....it's not a proper Porsche either.

        Sorry, but you just sound bitter.

        (Mine's the one with the keys for a Jazz in the pocket)

    3. Frank Bough
      FAIL

      It's all relative...

      A Boxster is neither especially inexpensive nor necessarily inferior to a 911. In some ways, it's better - being mid rather than rear engined, and being a proper roadster rather than the hideous nightmare that is the 911 cabriolet.

      The 911 has a bigger engine and a bigger price-tag, but that's pretty much it. the epithet 'poor mans' Porsche' says more about the person using it than their target.

    4. Adam Foxton

      Agreed, almost

      A Boxster has a Porsche logo on it, so it's assumed to be expensive. A new one starts at about £30k so it's not mind-blowing. A 911 starts at ~£65k.

      Still, buying a Boxster just says "I want the badge, I'm too much of a snob to go second hand and I can't afford a 911". It's like going on about having a wardrobe full of Armani when it's off-the-rack Emporio. Yes, you've got a £600 suit. Yes, it says "Armani" on it and yes it was pretty pricey compared with a budget thing from Tesco that serves basically the same purpose. But _it's not the same_ as an £>1k Giorgio Armani. Same manufacturer, not a massive difference but it says something totally different about you.

  24. Andrew Moore
    Thumb Up

    So the lesson here is...

    ...buy luxury items and avoid marriage. I can see ad agencies everywhere jumping on this one.

  25. Blake St. Claire
    Trollface

    sex with a strong of ladies?

    That could be a disincentive. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

    1. Blake St. Claire
      Terminator

      A throng of ladies

      I didn't pick the troll icon? How is this a troll?

      I see you've fixed/changed the article and now it's "sex with a throng of ladies"; my original guess was "with a string of ladies."

      1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

        Re: A throng of ladies

        You would need very sophisticated instruments to be able to identify precisely how little I care about this now. I am changing it to 'string' but there will be no need for you to go running around your place of work with your shirt over your head.

        1. frank ly
          Coat

          How about "..a thong of ladies" ?

          Just asking... on my way...

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Mushroom

          Re: A throng of ladies

          What was that about my sophisticated instrument?

          1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

            Re: Re: A throng of ladies

            I bet it's not.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Alert

              I'll take that bet.

              "Careful Now."

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I can vouch for this...

    ... My sex life went through the roof when I replaced my Vitara V6 with an M3 Convertable. So many women seem to approach me now with "I really like your car". The only regret I have now, is buying it before reading this article http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/08/03/sexy_redness/ and opting for the le-mans blue!

  27. Tom 7

    To be transatlanticist

    Its a study of US subjects - it probably wont correlate well with UK subjects - we've had a good 30 less years of shallowness being drilled into us though of late its not been looking so good.

  28. BristolBachelor Gold badge
    Devil

    Type of Woman

    The type of woman that is interested in fast would be more interested in a guy with a fast motor (be it a porch [sic] or Ariel Atom). It doesn't matter if she is just after a quickie on the bonnet (if it has one) or something long term. She likes fast, so she likes it.

    If the woman is only interested in flashy because there is nothing between her ears, then maybe she is only any use for a quickie, god forbid having to live with her long term!

    It was almost tempting to go for the girl with nothing between her ears, but only for 5 seconds; thinking about it any longer she already bored me, so went for the cartoonish demon looking car icon instead.

  29. Nick L

    For our American cousins...

    Our USAian readers may want to consult an English to American dictionary for the correct meaning of 'fanny' in this context.

    1. Steve Coburn

      Does a flash motor act as a fanny magnet or not?

      Was the heading used in the USA context or the UK context?

      1. Sooty

        was curious about the USA context

        fanny magnet is a British term*, but the survey is of Americans.

        One of the things that's very different between the UK and America, besides the language, sense of humour and general attitude towards sex, is the humble car.

        There is a massive difference between the culture and attitude towards cars of the UK and America, so the survey results have no real relevance this side of the pond.

        *hopefully anyway, as it has slightly different connotations if you use the American meaning of the word

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Volvo

    I love the Volvo ad running on the story. I mean, it *sounds* a bit like a word for fanny I guess..

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  31. /\/\j17

    A STRONG of ladies...?

    "Or in other words the Porsche driver is doomed to having loads of sex with a strong of ladies..."

  32. TRT Silver badge
    IT Angle

    But...

    Did they correlate it with penis size?

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    He should have asked...

    If the so called fanny magnet is also a target for those light fingered larry's?

    Buy a flash motor and it is a big target for the thieves.

    Buy a dull motor and they will ignore it (even if there is a pretty woman inside).

    Could this be the subject of his next Phd then?

    Never mind... BB knows all this already.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Headmaster

    Darwin and Sexy Sons

    Its all down to the "Sexy Son" effect in Darwinian psychology.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexy_son_hypothesis

    Females who go for flashy males are more likely to have flashy male offspring whom subsequent females will fall for.

    If that sounds a mite circular, that's how sexual selection works - driven by females' preferences. It'subconscious and instinctive, rather than reasoned; It works more reliably in the long run.

    It also suits sexy males whose genes will proliferate without the drag of having to care for descendants.

    What good is a peacock's tail /flashy bird trap if not to get a mate ?

    (Meanwhile, females are ALSO on the lookout for a steady, non-flashy type who'll stick around and care for the family, perhaps thinking that the flashy son is his. Hence the male obsession with *female* virginity.)

    All sounds logical, eh, captain ?

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. bobbles31

        You need to watch Idiocracy

        possibly one of the most ironically funny movies ever made.

        and possibly one of the worst movies ever made too.

  35. PhilipN Silver badge

    Horse's Mouth

    It was Mick Jagger no less (uh... Yeah anyway) who claimed the best girl magnet he ever had back in the Swingin' Sixties was a huge1963 Cadillac convertible

    1. Synonymous Howard

      And what first attracted you to multimillioniare Mick Jagger?

      I reckon "big naff american car" would not be high on the list,

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Fast cars...

    Had the flash motor ... however now have a modest 7-seat family people carrier for all the children!

    I work with someone who used to have a Porsche Turbo and he said he'd swap me any day for settled down family life.

  37. Cazzo Enorme

    Want to snap knicker elastic at fifty paces?

    Then drive an old car.

    I remember a survey that presented young women with a selection of cars and asked them to rate them on the basis of how interesting the owner was likely to be. I was pleased to see that the least appealing cars were expensive sporty ones. Highest rated car? The Triumph Dolomite, on the basis that a man who chose to drive one (in good nick) wouldn't be a dickhead, but may be genuinely interesting.

    As the driver of another dubious British classic car, the MGB, I can confirm that women often found it an interesting talking point - and how many drivers of cars like Porsches can honestly say that women want to actually talk about their cars?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Boffin

      MGB?

      Out of scientific curiosity do you a) have a beard and b) drink real Ale?

      1. Cazzo Enorme

        Re: Pete B

        I can't stand real ale, and don't have a beard. I have chanced across a classic car owners meetup at a pub once, and I know where your association of MG cars and hirsute blokes with a penchant for warm sticky beer comes from though.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Want to snap knicker elastic at fifty paces?

      "how many drivers of cars like Porsches can honestly say that women want to actually talk about their cars?"

      How many women want to actually talk about cars at all?

      With that said, the reason I ended up looking at this article, apart from the laughs, is that it immediately reminded me of this highly successful, intelligent, and good-looking friend of mine who got dumped by his girlfriend for... a construction worker driving a (cheap) BMW. Please note that we're not guessing the reason: she actually told him as much.

      [ Per certo, fantastico il handle! ]

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      The car I've had that caught most female attention....

      A couple of times I've found women have left their phone numbers on pieces of paper under the windscreen wipers of my well-worn Landie... never got that effect with any other car I've had!

      1. fridaynightsmoke
        Coat

        @AC 13:14

        Did those notes come in little yellow envelopes?

        I think you might have made a mistake; they mean you're going to be f*cked in an entirely different way.....

      2. Equitas
        Paris Hilton

        Landrovers .............

        do tend to have that effect -- though usually not on bimbos.

        Paris, because she's not usually attracted to LandRover drivers.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Classic?

    Does the report identify how effective a classic Porsche 944 at pulling babes/brides? And what about a 944 driven by a woman? Is that a hunk-magnet?

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Sooty
      Joke

      porsche 944

      <Clarkson>

      is that the one with the van engine?

      </Clarkson>

    3. Adam Foxton
      Coat

      A good condition

      dark-coloured S2 convertible still looks gorgeous these days. I mean it looks a bit dated, but it's aged better than a lot of other cars it's age!

      That said, a knackered S1 in badly-aged white and a dodgy 2.5 engine doesn't look good. And you can kill any date stone dead explaining how its got the gearbox mounted at the back for near-perfect weight distribution, giving you a much nicer drive on those track days you've been on. Or how the 4-cylinder engine is actually half the 928's V8 but with a weighted balance bar thing instead of another set of cylinders.

      Anyone still reading this? Ah, well. I'll just get the ol' anorak...

  39. gaz 7
    Joke

    Settled down family life...

    I have one of those small MPV-wannabe cars, a Wife, kids and a dog.

    does anyone want to swap for a fast car and loads of sex with dirty & attractive large breasted women....?

    just asking like.

    Joke, just in case the missus reads this....

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    @Peter Clarke 1

    You might need some butter for that burn!

  41. Christoph

    What about a rea car?

    What do they say about the driver of a solid, reliable, dependable Half-Timbered Morris?

    1. Code Monkey
      Trollface

      Re: Half-Timbered Morris

      I'm no trick-cyclist but I'd guess it says pipe-smoking; unfortunate sock/sandal choices and questionable personal hygiene.

    2. Nuke
      Thumb Down

      @ Christoph

      Those horrible PoS were *not* reliable. I regularly worked on Morris Minors once as a mechanic. The woodwork rotted ("bruised banana"), crap got in the brake hydraulics (because the filler was under the front carpet), the seats sagged (exacerbated by the high dashboard) and the synchromesh wore out (to be fair, perhaps because most were driven by old ladies who regarded the gearlever as a switch).

      The worst thing was the tendence of the front suspension to collapse suddenly (the bottom steering swivel bronze thread stripped). Around London in the late 70's I saw a collapsed Morris Minor in the middle of the road about every two weeks. Thank goodness most were used only for knocking about and not on motorways.

      The only good thing was its indestructable Series A engine - but you could get one of those those in a Mini or 1100. However, the Minor exhaust was tuned somehow to emit a deafening farting noise on the over-run - I lived on a hill once and always knew when a Minor was descending.

      If any young woman were ever attracted by one of those crocks of shite I would hate to imagine what she was like.

  42. Graham Bartlett
    Trollface

    @Christoph

    They say that's the only interesting wood you're likely to find with him.

  43. min
    Unhappy

    i'm fouked...

    ...since i own and ride bicycles exclusively.

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sample Size

    And a sample size of 1,000 is enough is it? Of course not.

    Actually no matter what the sample size there is an inherent problem with this sort of study. What it can tell you is the likelyhood the somebody will respond to particular stimuli in a certain way. So while it may well be true to say that women are more likely to go for a man in a flash car than the same man in a mundane car, it does not follow that a particular woman is going to fall for an expensive car. It also does not follow that just because a woman is more likely to accept the offer of a date she is any more likely to go any further with an ugly fat bald guy. Remember a woman who is impressed by a man who spends conspicuously is actually probably a lot more interested in him spending money on her than she is in anything else.

    Back in the days when I was on the company car gravy train and on the road I used to do as any single young bloke would and try to hit on every attractive receptionist I met in the course of my work. My car died horribly and spent a couple of weeks in the shop and our fleet company lent me a top end motor that was much more expensive than my usual ride. For that two weeks my success rate was much higher. By which I mean I got to take more receptionists out for lunch (on expenses, natch) not necessarilly anything else.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Sad to say

    I drove a Porsche for about eight years. It was a 911 Sport, which I'm pretty sure it was full-fat - the 911 Turbo was the only street-legal Porsche that was fuller and fatter at the time.

    I didn't get a single shag as a result. Then again, I am a software developer.

    Anon, for obvious reasons.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    All these studies are nonsense

    The only ones that should be ran (repeatedly) are ones like this one:

    http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=154

  47. Dropper
    Pint

    Not really..

    What really matters to women is your gearscore...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Gearscore is sooooo 2010...

      ... surely you mean your ilvl!

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    well duh

    Newsflash! women also like pointless amounts of shoes and expensive handbags.

  49. mikeyboosh
    Trollface

    hmmm

    nice try, porsche

  50. Bobby Omelette
    Meh

    And this is breaking news?

    Viz were fully aware of this truth back in 1992 ...

    http://www.bonnington.org.uk/desktop/satsumacastanet_1280x1024.jpg

    1. Lord Lien
      Alert

      Dam...

      ... you beat me to it. Viz has so much to answer for... lol

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Better than any car...

    ... a good looking sprog in a decent buggy. Pure magnet. Trust, devotion the lot. Ron Dennis is making the wrong sort of McLaren.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Headmaster

      He needs...

      ...to add in an extra A to the name then.

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Clap your fanny on a horse

    Very effective if you can do it well.

    Much more skill needed than merely snarfing rolling flash, any shav can do it or they'd all be piled on the roads in a heap. Fanny flash is good I guess for a one night bounce but the disease part might last longer, so it is not recommended.

    And I don't want to leak on the nice 38* horse leather wrapping the rippling powerhouse thews-- riding bareback is a most exhilarating fanny mode (but would not try FEI that way... I'm good but not that good yet!).

  53. Damien Thorn
    Joke

    I got a flash motor

    With the peasants it makes me more popular, but there blond linguistic skills are a romance killer.

    Can i come drive in your caw?

    My car is a prestine condition matchbox model ferarri. (im commenting on the register do you actually believe my income would let me buy a decent motor roflmao)

  54. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Happy

    Yes, but sometimes not always with the desired result!

    The girls so attracted often also think that - beacuse you "wasted" money on a flash motor - that you will shower them with expensive treats. They will not understand if you explain to them that you actually enjoy driving said car because, for the majority of them, a car is just something to carry their shopping home in. They also seem to think you will let them drive your precious machine, which can only lead to tears! A Lebanese friend really regrets letting one uninsured girlfriend drive his nearly-new 911, to the tune of £18k in repairs!

  55. MooseNC
    Paris Hilton

    Hmm.

    Well, for every dollar a man makes in America, a woman makes seventy cents. Totally unfair as it only leaves the man with thirty cents...

  56. Sarah Davis
    Coat

    it depends on the woman !!

    I see a flash car as a sign that the guy is insecure / has a small dick / wants to be thought of as the kind of guy who wants non-commital sex, but a Bimbo might think it's a garuntee he has money and will buy her bling. A guy with a Porshe is a definate no-no, although a guy with a DB9 may have potential. I prefer to meet a guy first and get to know him before seeing what car he drives (some guys might be perfectly ok but have a bad choice in cars).

    1. Nuke
      WTF?

      @ Sarah Davies

      Quote >>> I see a flash car as a sign that the guy is insecure / has a small dick / wants to be thought of as the kind of guy who wants non-commital sex ... I prefer to meet a guy first and get to know him before seeing what car he drives. <<<

      You are jumping to a lot of conclusions there Sarah. Men, more so than women, tend to have hobbies or "enthusiasms" involving valued material objects. In some ways these are substitutes for sex, or for not enough sex. If a man does not have any such enthusiasm he is not likely to be enthusiastic about sex either, or value a woman, when the chance comes.

      Cars happen to be highly visible, but how do you know that the guy you meet with an ordinary car, as you seem to prefer, does not have an equivalent enthusiasm such as a model railway at home or a yacht at Cowes?

      These days it must be near impossible to "get to know" a guy without ever seeing his car, as you want. And BTW, dick size and car choice are orthogonal characteristics.

      Some guys do have a flash car to show off to girls. But I know a guy with 14 Jaguars (mostly > 15 years old), but he meets girls in an Audi in case a classic Jaguar puts them off. What do you make of that?

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who needs a flash car

    If you want no strings attached casual sex I found nothing worked like a wedding ring.

    Other women seemed to assume that :-

    a) you'd been house trained

    b) you'd sod off home and leave them alone once they'd finished enjoying you.

    Hmmm, I wonder if this might be at all related to my divorce?

    Anon for obvious reasons.

  58. Dazed and Confused

    Genetic programming

    This would tend to agree with the research that suggests that while men are genetically programmed to try and procreate with as many females as possible, women are similarly programmed to find a good man to father and help them bring up their offspring and a strong/powerful/successful man to sire them.

    Signs of wealth would indicate good breeding stock.

    1. adnim
      Joke

      Signs of wealth would indicate good breeding stock.

      Are you sure?

      Celebrities.

      Fascist dictators.

      Royalty.

      etc. etc.

      I love my 9 year old Ford Focus, but there ain't enough room for me to get a stiffy in it, unless I open a window ;-)

  59. Maty

    Easy ...

    Want to attract women with your car? In my town just let the parking meter run down for .005 of a second.

    Most of the traffic wardens are female.

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Title?

    Driving a 944 won't get you women. But you won't care while you're driving.

    And no, Sarah, it's not small.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Title?

      I'm saying nothing.

  61. Montybank
    Joke

    difference between a porcupine and a porsche?

    on the porcupine, the prick is on the outside.

  62. druck Silver badge
    Go

    She likes the car once she has the keys.

    I found out my wife married me despite my bright red rotary sports car, not because of it. I was quite hurt, but apparently she likes it now. Now she can drive it!

  63. Equitas

    A flashy car may well...

    let you pull a vacuous busty girl.

    However you might do better long term with that flat-chested girl with a moustache.

  64. Eduard Coli
    Angel

    Money is an aphrodisiac

    Capitalism has an unspoken caste system, money goes to money.

    Take a look at any fam tripe rag and see who marries who.

  65. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Re: Title?

    That comment was meant for Sarah Davis, not you.

  66. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    @Montybank

    Prick is on the outside of Boxsters. Began to think of getting one to replace my aging and failing 944. Son told me, "Dad, it's a chick car!" Luckily I found another 944. So now it's just me that's aging and failing.

    I'll get my coat, if I can remember where I left it.

  67. norman
    Happy

    What about the Females with flashy cars?

    So men with flashy cars are shallow, what about the honey's in flashy cars, we need a new study.

  68. Ooo-wait-BUT!
    Trollface

    Anonymous Coward posted Friday 17th June 2011 12:00 GMT

    "I appreciate the attempt at humour, but please don't give up the day job just yet."

    I appreciate that you may have found my words moderately amusing. I do try to maintain a level of acceptable entertainment value within the words I write... they were, however, not intended thus. Porsche driver are you?

  69. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    men they marry and men they wrestle with

    "is doomed to having loads of sex with a string of ladies, and will never know the homely joys of changing a nappy, repeated and questionably-necessary redecorating etc"

    The question is whether Mr. Honda Civic is in fact changing the nappy of Mr. Porsche's baby....

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