back to article Gordon Ramsay menaced by enormous TURKEY

Gobby food-botherer Gordon Ramsay is facing what the Sun describes as his "biggest ever TURKEY", as he makes his movie debut in forthcoming "romcom" Love's Kitchen. The film won't be released in the UK until 24 June, but it's already been sliced, diced and roasted by internet customers after the makers ill-advisedly decided to …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    What a fucking piece of....I'm going to fucking brain you

    you stupid fucking lazy arrogant ignorant fucking talentless fucking clueless fucking morons you fucking know i fucking hate the fucking way you fucking

    I'm saving my hard earned for Senna

  2. Natalie Gritpants
    WTF?

    Wooton Dusset ???!!!?!?!?!!?

    Come on if you're going to make up English village names at least make them suggestive.

    1. Alien Doctor 1.1

      Such as...

      Chipping Campden,

      Salcott-cum-Virley

      Cockshutt-cum-Petton

      Spital-in-the-Street

      Twatface

      Penisville

      OK, the last two were made-up, but by <INSERT DEITY> England is full of odd names and majorly fucked-up places (see Hot Fuzz for details - and don't start thinking that's just fictional, you ain't lived in my part of England).

      ;)

      1. Steve Evans
        Pint

        @Such as

        Lady hole (loads of those).

        Badgers mount

        However, given the subject matter, Curry Mallet would be my favourite.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @Such as

          It is two miles from Badger's Mount to Pratts Bottom.

          http://www.prattsbottom.co.uk/

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I'll see England, and raise you the US

        Toad Suck, Arkansas

        Intercourse, Pennsylvania

        Blue Ball, Pennsylvania

        All real places. Google them if you doubt me.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Happy

          I see your US...

          ... and raise you a Scotland.

          Welcome to Twatt

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twatt,_Orkney

        2. KroSha
          Happy

          And more...

          Thong, just outside Gravesend

          Fingle Glen, near Exeter

          and, of course,

          Wookie Hole, near Wells

        3. Homard
          Happy

          Blue Ball ?

          Must be mighty cold for those to go that colour !

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I'll see England, and raise you the US

          I now see why the US generally steal their place names from other countries - this is what happens when you're left to come up with your own names!

    2. paulf
      Coat

      Perhaps

      Humpingham?

      Thodding?

      Yeek. What a contrived load of twaddle. Not that I would have gone to see it, but at least the trailer saves me the bother. I always thought the idea of a trailer was to entice viewers to come and see the film, not give a 3 minute summary of the entire film to save anyone having to bother.

  3. SisterClamp
    Mushroom

    Oh dear

    I know, as a woman, I'm supposed to like these movies but (a) the trailer saved me the bother (well noted, Popbitch), and (b) I'd rather see things explode amidst a gory cacophony of bullets, flesh, fire accelerants and rampaging robots. That's why I, like you gentlemen, am a geek. So I hear the latest Mandriva's out.......

    1. Steve Todd
      Happy

      And she's a Steve Perry fan

      (for those not in the know, try reading his Matador novels to find out where her handle came from)

      I think I may be in love (is she in the market for a middle aged geek?)

      1. SisterClamp

        Already have one of those darling...

        ...and a couple of geeklets too, but always appreciate a hat-tip from a fellow Perry fan. Interestingly, I have a degree in psychology and am an ex-martial artist as well. The rest I'll leave to your imagination. ;)

        1. Steve Todd
          Happy

          Ah well...

          a chap can dream.

          I'm not sure I could ever risk annoying you though

  4. nichomach
    FAIL

    Oh...

    ...oh dearie, dearie me; things ARE looking a bit grim, aren't they? Thing is, it's a decent cast (the non-chef parts, at any rate), so is this just a case of a very bad trailer for a half-decent film, or is it truly as bad as the trailer suggests...either way, I can't see a BAFTA in Gordo's future anytime soon...

  5. Disco-Legend-Zeke
    Pint

    I Have Only ONE Major...

    *

    ...TV network credit. They spelled my name wrong. ARRRrrrggh!

    *beer helps, though.

    1. Alien Doctor 1.1

      Credit?

      Weren't you one leg of John Trav's trousers in Saturday Night Fever?

  6. Steve Evans

    Blimee...

    I wonder what medication they had to use on Gordon to get that horribly restricted "outburst" from him at the end?

    Never (well not since Pete Beale in Eastenders) has someone looked so uncomfortable with such a pitiful list of approved expletives.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Someone should take out a superinjunction on this film...

    ... to spare us all from having to see it.

  8. Jesper

    Whoot

    *giggles*

  9. jake Silver badge

    IMNVHO

    Gordon "fuck me" Ramsay, one trick pony that he is, should stick to his one trick. Acting isn't it.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh my

    The very depths have indeed been thoroughly plumbed

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    "Gobby food-botherer"

    Great stuff Lester....I suspect your another who does not worship at the feet of slebs.

    That's just the two of us in this country then.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: "Gobby food-botherer"

      He's in Spain! You win! You are best.

  12. Identity
    Childcatcher

    Seems just like...

    "Chef," only without the humor, acting or writing.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Is this... Is this an *actual thing*?

    Seriously, is this an actual movie? Like a guy wrote a script, rented cameras, hired crew, built sets, and edited footage?

    My incredulity knows no bounds...

  14. brainwrong
    Childcatcher

    Bell End

    I've no idea what the video is about, given that I have that shit blocked mostly, but I did once drive through a place by the name of "Bell End". Unfortunately I didn't see a place name sign when I got there (I may have missed it), but it was clearly marked on my printed map, and is here:

    http://wikimapia.org/#lat=52.3922063&lon=-2.0845699&z=14&l=0&m=m

    6.9 miles due east of Kidderminster.

    1. Pigeon

      I've no idea either.

      I went to a internet cafe after work, which have these plug-ins, and the video shows one frame saying 'This bideo has been removed by the user." (My niece calls them bideos). Hot dang!

  15. Olafthemighty
    Happy

    Fingringhoe!

    That is all.

  16. BitBotherer
    Pint

    UK place names

    Pishil and Stonor, somewhere in Oxfordshire I think and there is a signpost with both names on it, that's all.

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