back to article You should install smart meters even if they're dumb, says flack

The UK’s controversial smart meter programme will only succeed in saving consumers cash if people are made aware of the benefits, says Rob Smith, head of policy and public affairs at Smart Energy GB. Some 53 million smart meters are due to be installed in residences and small businesses by the end of 2020, at an estimated cost …

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      1. Aurelian2

        Re: It won;t help

        Being retired and reclusive, I'm free to timeshift my day. In winter 2008/9, I did this to see how much money I could save.

        My all-electric house is on the Economy 7 tariff so I got up at 1am, lunched at 7am and went to bed at 5pm. The novelty soon palled, though I did still get to be awake during the daylight hours.

        I won't weary you with the details of every pettifogging economy I used, but I pretty much halved my bills. Mostly this was down to using the juice during the seven-hour period in which the cheap night rate applied.

        The moral is that extreme economising is no fun and you don't need a smart meter for it.

        I run an Excel workbook that records my meter readings, analyses them for usage and pricing trends, and predicts my bills to the penny. That's the only tool I need.

    1. SImon Hobson Bronze badge

      Re: It won;t help

      ... unless there is a hidden plan to introduce swingeing tariffs for peak usage times

      Funny you should say that, because that IS the primary function of these meters - price based rationing. The whole point is that at peak times, the cost will go up - and so, the theory goes, people will voluntarily change their patterns to use lecky when it's cheap. As the ever so witty comment above suggests, it'll be getting up at 1am to cook lunch and stuff like that that creates the cost savings - but no actual energy savings.

      Eventually, the idea is that you'll buy washing machines and tumble dryers that can "talk" to the hub and will automatically run themselves when the lecky is cheap. However, as also pointed out above, look forward to the anti-social behaviour injunctions when you try doing that in anything but a fully detached house !

      IF the cost rationing doesn't lop enough off peak demand, then the next step will be familiar to those of us old enough to remember the 70s. The only difference is that the power cuts will be more granular.

      Of course, it won't be as simple as "delay cooking dinner till 10 pm" since the cost will depend on how the wind is doing. There's no enough wind generation nominal capacity in the UK that it's making keeping alternative *backup) plant open very expensive, but without that backup plant we don't have enough if the wind isn't blowing. I know the eco terrorists behind wind will claim this is all lies, but the facts are that we do have spells when it's really cold, demand is high, and there's flip-all wind for days on end. December 2010 was a good example - we managed (just) then, but we don't have the capacity now to deal with another period like that fortnight.

      So when you get home from work, on a cold December night (it's night, so that solar PV is doing nothing), there's a frost on the ground, and clear skies. The snow is falling down quietly as there's no wind. You'll get home looking forward to a nice hot dinner - only to find you can't afford to cook it as the price rationing has kicked in.

      THAT is what is behind smart meters. No they don't talk about it, all those adverts are outright lies, but that is the one and only function of these things - control demand (to match supply) by "pricing pressure" and if that doesn't work to turn people off. The wealthy will moan but carry on regardless, the poor (who will be poorer because they are paying for all this expensive and unreliable renewables carp) will sit in the dark and shiver while they starve to death.

  1. Bob Rocket

    Proper Smart Meter

    They have the cart before the horse.

    I don't want a contract with one supplier, I want to buy my energy at the moment I'm using it from the cheapest supplier in the marketplace at that time and a truly smart meter could do that.

    Only then will I see any benefit.

    I don't have a contract with my grocery supplier, my petrol supplier or my hoover bag supplier, why do I need one with my energy supplier when there are plenty to choose from.

    1. Alumoi Silver badge

      Re: Proper Smart Meter

      One word: captive market.

      OK, it's 2 words, but you get my drift :P

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Rob Smith

    When are you and the rest of The Cure, going to play in Manchester again?

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: Rob Smith

      When are you and the rest of The Cure, going to play in Manchester again?

      Or Hobart? Ever!

  3. ideapete
    Facepalm

    Smart meters by Dumb people

    Monty Python did it better

  4. Justicesays
    FAIL

    There would be a saving

    "The UK’s controversial smart meter programme will only succeed in saving consumers cash if people are made aware of the benefits, says Rob Smith, head of policy and public affairs at Smart Energy GB."

    So, if we were made aware the benefits would be non-existent, we could save consumers the price of these new meters by stopping the roll out now? Sounds fair.

    This nob-end is in the same league as Nicola Shaw (head of the National Grid), who is convinced that Smart Meters (and presumably fairy dust) , not a sensible policy of replacing aging power stations, will prevent brown outs.

    Then she suggests moving dishwashers, tumble dryers and washing machines to run at night, in the "cheap tariffs"

    Presumably not aware that these devices are not supposed to be run unattended due to fire risks (as we all discovered during the dryer recall last year).

    I guess we can keep warm at night using the energy of nearby burning houses.

    1. NonSSL-Login
      Alert

      Re: There would be a saving

      Using the washing machine in the early hours of the morning when living in flats will have neighbours at each others throats and an increase in police and noise pollution officers to sort issue out during the night.

      The energy companies make more money from peak time charging and the tax payers foot the bill for the problems off-peak time. They will be laughing all the way to the bank.

  5. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Happy

    Hmmm

    The bad news: Just checked my half-cellar. A surprisingly strong signal there!

    However..

    Purely in the interest of saving energy, maybe I should insulate the walls and floor above. There's that nice double layer foil stuff you can get these days.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hmmm

      I had the pleasure of working for a business where the meter was in the basement and there was no mobile or any other radio signal down there as tests proved. We did however need to get the meter changed according to the supplier and the bloke turned up on the appointed day and time (before 9am) to do this. The building is empty except for the two of us and I only turned lights on where necessary which didn't help lift the atmosphere. He enquires where the meter was and I showed him down into the dark and nasty regions where nobody goes. He looks at the installed meter, the cabling going to & from it and then tries to make a phone call to his office on his mobile.

      Him: "I don't seem to be able to get a signal on my phone"

      Me: "What down here? You'll be lucky nothing really gets through down here, you can scream your lungs out and no one will hear you"

      Him: "Er yes can we go back to where there is a signal please"

      Me: "Yep no worries"

      I came back to him a few minutes later to hear this:

      Him (on phone): "No signal at all anywhere near it so the [Model Number] I've got for the job isn't going to work. Whadya want me to do?"

      Him (to me): "Sorry I don't have the right meter to be able to install in your premises, we'll have to re-schedule the job for another appointment"

      Me: "At the same time, as I can't have the power off during the working day?"

      Him: "I'll not be the one making the appointment-"

      Me: "What was wrong with the meter location?"

      Him: "It needs a signal and you can't get one down there so we'll have to give you a different one"

      Me: "Is it better than the one we've got because that was replaced about a year and a half ago"

      Him: "It'll be the same model and if it's only a year or so old at the moment we don't need to replace it. Sorry to have bothered you"

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Having a smart meter saved nothing in my house as there was no button my desk / phone to kill the shower / tumble dryer that my kids were abusing at any given time.

    Plus the display had to be powered to make the data visible. The irony of this was met with a shrug of the shoulder from the guy that installed it.

    And when I switched supplier it went back to being in a dumb mode that seemingly requires a magic sequence of button presses and hopping on one leg to get it to display a reading.

  7. Nifty Silver badge

    Omnishambles

    1. Short term, we could put smart plugs (or lust a plain old time plug) in washers, driers, dishwashers so they come on during a cheap window, that window being governed by the smart meter. It will know how many hours of cheap vs expensive power you used.

    2. Longer term, the much vaunted smart fridge or oven that can turn itself off momentarily for minutes at a time when instructed to by the Grid, to avoid an overpeak of consumption.

    1 will not work having till we are offered SMETS2 meters that allow a switch of supplier and the meter stays smart.

    2 will not work with the currently mandated 30 minute sampling - so I suppose even type 2 meters are already obsolete before they arrive.

    Pity as the above if all used could save the UK a power station or 2.

    That mobile signal issue though - what's so hard about using WiFi?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Omnishambles

      "[...] what's so hard about using WiFi?"

      My wifi router gets switched off when I'm not at home - and overnight - to save energy.

      1. Ken Hagan Gold badge
        Pint

        Re: Omnishambles

        My wifi router has a power supply brick rated at 12V and 1A. I presume the unit itself doesn't actually draw that much power. That's about 1kWh (about 10p?) every three days or so. If you've really optimised your home energy use so that this is a meaningful saving, then I'm impressed. Treat yourself to a pint to celebrate, every few months or so.

      2. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Omnishambles

        "My wifi router gets switched off when I'm not at home - and overnight - to save energy."

        And with the amount of money you save by doing that you can buy half a banana in a year's time.

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: Omnishambles

          And with the amount of money you save by doing that you can buy half a banana in a year's time.

          But think of all that nasty radioactive potassium in that banana!

  8. Paul Smith

    There is only one benifit to smart meters

    The only benefit that I have been able to identify for smart meters is the remote application of variable tariffs. Instead of just a flat rate, or the current 'night rate' (which requires the fitting of a separate meter) suppliers can apply actual hourly rated or worse (better?) variably rated tariffs. If anyone here is old enough to remember the pre-mobile phone era and paper phone bills, then they may remember the massive change caused to teenagers lives by the introduction of itemized phone bills. I suspect the electricity consumer market may be in for a similar awakening.

  9. Mr Dogshit
    FAIL

    Hey, Smith

    1. What benefits?

    2. If your job is convincing us that £19bn is money well spent, what are you doing in China?

  10. Killing Time

    Haters gonna hate...

    For a site supposedly frequented by intelligent IT savvy people there is an alarming lack of vision about any potentially positive advantages to the end user. Just paranoia about remote isolation. Please, anyone who has actually got a smart meter confirm that this is part of the spec (these are not pay as you go meters ) so I don’t believe it is, or whining about running appliances keeping everyone up at night.

    Not everyone is in the same position and some may find greater advantage than others, however more accurate consumption information permits informed decisions and potentially, monetary savings. We all use energy, it’s like taxes, you can’t get away from it. If you don’t wish to make energy savings and want to pay more than your fair share of the CCL, thereby lining the pockets of those fortunate enough to be renewables adopters then go ahead, carry on hating. Personally, I don’t want to pay any more tax than I need to, I would rather take the information and make it work for me ( isn't that the fundamental goal of Information Technology?) I have far better uses for my money than to give it away when I don't have to.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Haters gonna hate...

      however more accurate consumption information permits informed decisions and potentially, monetary savings

      How about this accurate consumption info: powered on devices consume energy.

      Power them off when you don't use them!

    2. John H Woods Silver badge

      Re: Haters gonna hate...

      @Killing Time

      I'm sure you are right that "accurate consumption information permits informed decisions and potentially, monetary savings" but you also say "I have far better uses for my money than to give it away when I don't have to"

      Given the latter, you will have to make a net saving. A 20B project for 30M households is about 600-700 quid per meter. Most of the information to which you refer would be available from a cheap induction loop device.

      1. Killing Time

        Re: Haters gonna hate...

        @ John H Woods

        'Given the latter, you will have to make a net saving.'

        I won't have to make the 'saving', installation is 'free', supposedly at no cost to me.

        In reality though the project is being financed through CCL / energy taxes with the highest consumers proportionally paying the highest cost. This being the case, the less energy I use, the less tax I pay and the less I contribute to financing the project.

        I don't disagree that currently a cheap induction loop device would provide valuable information, however when fine grained tariffs fully arrive, (note that BG are just now sticking their toe in the water with free weekend electricity deals) then remotely accessible metering will be a requirement to give your supplier confidence that they can accurately track or profile your consumption in fairly real time and trade their Grid import/export balance effectively.

        You have to remember that there is at least one intermediate distribution company between you and your energy supplier therefore the better data your supplier has regarding its energy balance at any one time, the better deals they are likely to offer as they can control their losses and 'hedging' more effectively.

        Again, its Information Technology...

        1. JimboSmith Silver badge

          Re: Haters gonna hate...

          Erm you can also see it as BG having to give energy away to get customers to have a smart Meter installed presumably because take up has been low. Just a thought.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Haters gonna hate...

        Most induction loop devices don't seem to work on the gas in my house. Not sure why.

    3. Robin Bradshaw

      Re: Haters gonna hate...

      Killing Time here is the SMETS2 smart meter technical specs draft:

      https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/381535/SMIP_E2E_SMETS2.pdf

      I would draw your attention to section 5.5.7:

      "ESME shall be capable of operating in Credit Mode and Prepayment Mode and of being remotely switched from one mode to the other."

      And just above it section 5.5.6 Load Limiting, which to my eye seems a particularly weasel worded section, that I take to mean they can set a power usage threshold that if you exceed it they switch you off for a bit, now I know traditional meters have this feature too but that is at about 60 or 80 Amps when your main fuse blows, I doubt they will be so generous with this load limiting feature.

      Something along the lines of "of course if you want to draw more than 3KW you'll have to pay for our premium electricity service"

      1. Killing Time

        Re: Haters gonna hate...

        @ Robin Bradshaw

        Thanks, an interesting read, a 126 page specification including required functionality, cryptographic algorithms and private /public key requirements, clearly this has been well thought out.

        Yes, it appears remote isolation functionality is a requirement of the specification, specifically tied to prepayment mode emergency credit settings and functionality (page 43 point v.) however as I read it this is a specific feature of the prepayment mode it must support, alongside credit mode. Probably along the lines of existing prepaid meters. Of course, you do have to agree to the installation of a prepayment meter and I would expect a similar and robust process as that in place currently to apply in allowing your energy provider to set this mode on the meter. In short, if your credit history and performance is reasonable I wouldn't expect any issue.

        Your issue regarding Load Limiting reads to me as perhaps a little simplistic. The specified requirement is quite specific that certain conditions have to be met to disable supply and then a time condition to enable resupply . I can see a more benign application for this, such as a user running their supply close to the design maximum but below the threshold of the fuses. This would heat the incoming supply wiring,wiring joints,and equipment significantly, increasing the risk of an electrical fire considerably. This Load Limiting functionality could manage this situation as you would need to shed load to ensure a persistent supply. Again though, this load limit is definable and I would expect a reasonable and robust process to be in place to agree this setting with your energy supplier or DNO. I don't see it unreasonable to enter into a pre agreed peak power limit with your providers.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "[...] the surge created by switching kettles on at the end of a popular TV program. No amount of smart meters is going to cure that problem."

    Thermos flasks and hay boxes would stagger energy use and be more efficient.

    Room temperatures below 19C promote the body to create "healthy" brown fat that burns extra calories as heat - thus also helping to solve the obesity crisis. That only happens if you don't add extra clothes - so go naked and that will also save on clothes washing energy. Going naked also promotes stable odourless skin bacteria populations, That means showering is not needed so often - which otherwise disrupts the odourless stability.

  12. Peter Prof Fox

    Flexible pricing

    Means you'll have to suddenly pay more at peak times. No Economy7 but a fancy tariff. A bit like the train fares. You may be able to benefit from a cheapo if it suits the supplier but otherwise you're stuffed with nowhere else to go. Thus the suppliers cream-off the profitable bits of the market.

  13. rh16181618190224

    Not very smart though

    Moved house - new house had British Gas smart meter. The last bill was estimated. WTF? New supplier is Ovo. Ovo cannot use the same smart meter. WTF? This has not been well thought out. And fiddling around with LCD displays that only read after you press a button a number of times is not well thought out.

    1. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Not very smart though

      > Ovo cannot use the same smart meter. WTF?

      This got covered in the last round of stories.

      The "smart meters" that the companies have been flogging over the last few years are not the same as the standardised meters which are supposed to be rolled out from here on in.

      I still don't want 'em. As most have said, this is about being able to charge higher rates to consumers and if they're equippped with cutoff relays, do rolling blackouts.

  14. Dieter Haussmann

    Seeing that a cup of tea uses 3.1Kw for 90 seconds won't save anything unless I forgo the cup of tea.

    That is not a saving, that is poverty.

    These meters are not for the consumer, they are an AaaS (Austerity as a Service) device that allow remote cutting of power, snooping, tariff-shaping, rationing and other such nasties that will come in the post-democratic-era.

    1. Tom 7

      Re Cup of tea

      I've got PV - when its proper sunny I do things that need a lot of hot water - like brewing and cleaning my brewing equipment, or as I have a large garden cook shitloads of jam and chutneys, or just heating my hot water etc. All for free. Now with a truly smart meter that lets me know when electricity is cheap I can, with very little automation do the washing, tumble drying (when the weather is shit), heat the hot water all for whatever the lowest overnight price is - or if it doesnt go down to the required value I can program it to run or not if its urgent.

      As I said earlier this will have to be achieved by my own induction loop and raspberryPi OCR of the smart meter and a few switches and solenoids. For around about £250 I'm guestimating it will pay for itself in a year - I saved over £500 a year by using PV 'intelligently'. I've even got a low power kettle for low light days!

      These meters are not for the consumer but by christ we should do everything to make sure they dont get away with this crap. Though I do wonder if they will 'advise' the government that all white goods need to be made manual only!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Previous DCC Employee

    I used to work here (so anonymous), they never really explained the benefits of the meters and where the savings came from.

    They said there was some in the collection and ability to remotely control, personally I always thought it was in the ability to track down theft. If they know absolutely which lines the meters are on on they can tell which street is drawing more power than is getting billed and find the thieves. DCC studiously denied this was an intended benefit (though I'm not sure why)

    1. Richard 12 Silver badge

      Re: Previous DCC Employee

      Probably because they can already track down power theft pretty accurately.

      All the substations have accurate metering, and they know the expected load given what's attached to it. It's not rocket science to spot a substation that's supplying more than the expected load.

      While in theory more accurate metering might help, it'd take extremely high penetration >90% or more before it could begin to offer anything they don't already have.

      1. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Previous DCC Employee

        "While in theory more accurate metering might help"

        It won't help as much as an infrared camera.

        All that stolen energy tends to show up pretty brightly.

  16. Scott Broukell
    Meh

    So basically . . .

    If you are too effing thick to comprehend / manage / control / understand your domestic energy consumption, then you need a lot more than a crappy 'smart' meter.

  17. RyszrdG

    Smart?

    What is 'Smart' about Smart Metering? Zip, nada nothing. If we all called it what it really is - remote monitoring and control, the sooner this nonsense will be exposed for the con trick by the energy companies and government that it really is. The classic boiling frogs experiment - the general public do not care that they are paying for an obsolete technical infrastructure of questionable benefit to the consumer and indeed appear not to care anyway.

  18. getHandle

    I agreed to smart meters

    Simply to avoid having to read them myself. Shame the clueless gimp from Lowri Beck failed to commission the gas meter, then said company failed to uphold a subsequent appointment and, finally after 2 1/2 months, they sorted it.

    Ultimate irony is that the energy company is telling me that if I change supplier then the new one might not be able to work with the meters and they will effectively revert to being dumb!

    You couldn't make it up... Money well spent? Definitely not! Glad it didn't cost me anything (directly)!

  19. MrTuK

    Well, its nice to see we have intelligent people here :)

    Finally something most of us are in agreement with - smart meters are for dumb people, dumb meters are for smart people :)

    It just reminds me of two previous things the UK Gov has done in the past !

    1.) Encourage people to migrate from Leaded petrol to unleaded by making unleaded petrol taxation cheaper and then when enough had migrated they stopped selling leaded petrol.

    2.) Diesel taxation was cheaper that petrol taxation so making diesel cheaper for the consumer until demand increased so they then increased to diesel taxation to reduce diesel consumption.

    1.) I think the encouragement to migrate from leaded petrol was a good one as we don't want children's brains damaged with the excessive lead content in the air.

    2.) playing with the taxation for Diesel to encourage car manufacturers to develop cleaner/higher performance diesel engines without being aware of the harmful effects of sulphur dioxide was ill thought out, the same can be said for the smart meters - ill thought out and will cost the consumer more than than any benefits or savings can be made.

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: Well, its nice to see we have intelligent people here :)

      I think the encouragement to migrate from leaded petrol was a good one as we don't want children's brains damaged with the excessive lead content in the air.

      We would much prefer it if they contract cancer instead:

      Identification of polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons in unleaded petrol and diesel exhaust emission

  20. Instinct46

    I like them

    I got a smart meter 2 years ago and it was very informative. You can look at your usage in every half an hour for the past 24hours. Noticed a bunch of tech was randomly turning on a certain times... I'd say the actual ability to view usage as accurately as it does is more than enough of a benefit.

    1. JimboSmith Silver badge

      Re: I like them

      You're aware you don't need a smart meter to do that aren't you?

      Basic version

      https://www.amazon.co.uk/geo-Minim-Electricity-Energy-Monitor/dp/B00JIMQP6Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1473465910&sr=8-1&keywords=energy+monitor

      More advanced which you can view via an app, your PC, away from home etc.

      https://www.amazon.co.uk/Efergy-Technologies-ENGAGE-HUB-1-1/dp/B00G5DZK8I/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1473465910&sr=8-6&keywords=energy+monitor

      Please tell us you didn't have a smart meter installed just for the energy monitor.

      1. Wiltshire

        Re: I like them

        Looks good, but I'm not sure about paying them to hold my personal data and having it served back to me via a web app.

        Has anyone found an Energy-Monitor that just lets you log to local storage?

        A CSV/Text file/whatever would do nicely.

        Then import to Excel/whatever to shape the data and get the pretty graphs, when it suits me, not crawling under the stairs.

        And another thing ... why is it that these Energy-Monitor thingummies need batteries? FFS, what's the point of a system that's broken as soon as the batteries inevitably need recharging/replacing? What's wrong with powering them from the mains electricity anyway? Oh, it would make the power consumption increase? Oh dear, umm, what can we turn off to decrease our carbon footprint? Aha! the Energy-Monitor.

        1. Gerry 3

          Re: I like them

          @ Wiltshire

          There's seldom a 13A outlet close to the meter, that's why. However, the displays are usually mains powered.

          Battery operation isn't a drawback because it's easy to change or recharge them, and a charge lasts a long time.

          1. Wiltshire

            Re: I like them

            @Gerry3

            Perhaps you missed the point. if the batteries are flat, there's no data being transmitted = system failure.

            Anyway, what's wrong with an induction coil being used to power the device? If it's good enough to provide enough power to charge mobile phones, it's good enough for this.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inductive_charging

            There's even a standard for doing just that.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qi_(inductive_power_standard)

            1. Gerry 3
              Coat

              Re: I like them

              @ Wiltshire

              >Perhaps you missed the point. if the batteries are flat, there's no data being transmitted = system failure.

              No, I didn't. My Energy Monitor gives a low battery warning for at least a week or two. I don't think it's ever failed to display the correct usage, even when I've been slow to charge the batteries.

              >Anyway, what's wrong with an induction coil being used to power the device?

              Unfortunately you'd need a direct metallic connection to power the inductive loop charger, and if you had a direct connection available near the meter you wouldn't need inductive charging in the first place !

              In any case, getting grannies to splice large Scotchlock connectors on to live cables doesn't seem a good idea...

              1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                Re: I like them

                Unfortunately you'd need a direct metallic connection to power the inductive loop charger

                Are you certain of that assertion? My electric toothbrush charges quite nicely without any direct electrical connection.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I like them

          "Has anyone found an Energy-Monitor that just lets you log to local storage?"

          In principle something like the Owl will let you do that; it's the usual clip-on sensor and remote wireless display. The display unit can come with a USB interface (fake serial) and a Windows app which is a bit weird and allegedly can export a history to CSV.

          In practice the display unit works OK but the local database export is (to put it politely) unreliable in my experience. I've used the same display on 2 different PCs (XP and Win7). It took some time to get it right on the first. Then on changing to the Win7 box it seems to have a scaling issue; the exported consumption doesn't match the box display; there seems to be some constant factor relating the two.

          Sound in principle, disappointing in practice.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: OWL

            In summary, the OWLs are not what they seem.

            Damn fine coffee.

            (sorry, missed the edit deadline)

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