nav search
Data Centre Software Security DevOps Business Personal Tech Science Emergent Tech Bootnotes
BOFH
Lectures

back to article
Erm... what did you say again, dear reader?

DropBear Silver badge

Re: Erm...

Nope. How about "if you often need to lay down a bit to rest while thinking, at least get used to not polluting the airwaves while you do. It's an exceedingly poorly veiled attempt to pretend that you're still talking and to prevent anyone else actually capable of thinking and talking at the same time to do so in your miserably pathetic stead)".

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: Erm...

"The spelling "erm" suggests to me that the R is not pronounced, [...]"

In my English background "erm" has the R pronounced. It lengthens the sound and usually suggests some cogitation on the part of the speaker before they make a statement. The "um" and "hem" are short sounds that do not give the same impression of a deep or lateral thought.

David Roberts Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Erm...

No, bang is shorthand for exclamation mark. [Sometimes also referred to as shriek. ]

David Roberts Silver badge
Joke

Re: Erm...

Furthermore erm is a precursor to asexual.

This post has been deleted by its author

Dr_N Silver badge

Pfffft.

Right?

I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
Happy

Re: Pfffft.

Meh?

I'm normally pretty laid back language-wise. But I do dislike that word - if word it be. So instead, I should annoy people by saying I could care less.

ArrZarr Silver badge
Meh

Re: Pfffft.

I only have one thing to say to that --->

Alister Silver badge

Re: Pfffft.

So instead, I should annoy people by saying I could care less.

Nnnnnnnng... must resist... HmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaarGH...

No, I will be strong, I won't fall for the bait...

I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
Trollface

Re: Pfffft.

Bait? Who me?

I wouldn't want anybody to loose they're temper over one off my posts. That would be rediculous...

Alister Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Pfffft.

I wouldn't want anybody to loose they're temper over one off my posts. That would be rediculous...

<twitch> <twitch> <twitch> <twitch>

:D

DropBear Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Pfffft.

Looking at some of these posts I have so many evens to can't...

phuzz Silver badge

Re: Pfffft.

"I wouldn't want anybody to loose they're temper over one off my posts."

My favourite way of correcting lose/loose:

Lose = what you would do at a grammar competition.

Loose = your mum.

David 18

Re: Pfffft.

@Phuzz

Whoosh = The sound of low flying jokes passing overhead. I presume you missed the other deliberate mistakes?

jake Silver badge

Re: Pfffft.

"Whoosh = The sound of low flying jokes passing overhead."

Unless they are pneumatically powered. Then they go pfffft.

chivo243 Silver badge
Paris Hilton

so...

is this a "like" free zone? Like, erm, ya know...

And did anybody see the speech? Maybe when he said "erm" he also give the lifted eyebrow to emphasize it wasn't his decision?

Paris because, you know, like totally... and there is no Moon Unit Zappa icon ;-}

I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

Re: so...

It's totes de stress - this whole lingo malarkey.

I think from now on all select committee evidence should be given in the form of interpretive dance...

jake Silver badge

Re: so...

Congrats, you earned one of my very, very few thumbs down. If ElReg allowed me to downvote your post a hundred times I would. I mean, honestly, trying to compare a Zappa with a useless bint like Paris? You should be ashamed of yourself!

Mark 85 Silver badge

Re: so...

trying to compare a Zappa with a useless bint like Paris?

May he die screaming for that.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

As a foreign speaker of English I immediately wondered if the esteemed writer should not have put the "you know" in quotes to identify it as such, you know? It's that customary in Good English?

I must admit I have never heard any mode of English referred to as "Good" - I've heard "The Queen's English" which I assume is the mouth-full-of-potato variant, or "BBC English" which is the well enunciated variant you can hear on BBC if they're not trying to be regional.

Thanks for the laugh, and it's only Wednesday. I'm still grinning :).

Dr_N Silver badge

"As a foreign speaker of English ... "

Is it particularly difficult fir Americans?

Mark Manderson
Joke

Erm... what did you say again, dear reader?

spelling words the original way is :P

specialised (not specialized)

customise (not customize)

maths (not "math" its short for mathmatics) plural.

:D

lets nae evan gang up to ma neck o the wids, ye widnea understand a smidgin!

Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
Coat

"which I assume is the mouth-full-of-potato variant,"

It's spoken with a 'plum' in the mouth, sheesh, these foreeners.

Arthur the cat Silver badge
Pint

Some time spent researching the works of Wittgenstein might be of value to you.

We discuss very little else in the saloon bar of the Whippet and Ferret.

Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

reminds me of...

old Japanese man ranting about the national public broadcaster (NHK, like BBC) over loan-words entering the language. I did read an article pointing out some good arguments, such as that many of the "native" words he suggested are in fact imports from China, but I can't find it again.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

"Erm" is for the speech impedimented.

The correct usage is "em".

"Erm" is used by people with the RP speech problem. Even HM the Queen has largely got over that one. I think it was most widespread in the remote south east of the country - perhaps south of Cambridge and west of Oxford.

If you hear someone saying erm, see if you can notice other mispronunciations. My favourite is their habit of making so many of their vowels the same as in "her".

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: "Erm" is for the speech impedimented.

" I think it was most widespread in the remote south east of the country - [...]"

Standard pronunciation of "erm" in my northern working class childhood. The R lengthens the sound to indicate the speaker is cogitating before making a chosen statement about something.

Our 1960s secondary school English teacher had two language triggers. A kindness on his part was in trying to eradicate our local pronunciation of short vowels and some overstressed endings.

His real hatred was reserved for Americanisms. You learned to duck if one of the latter inadvertently escaped your lips. Even at a reunion 45 years later - old boys were careful to say "round" rather than "around".

Korev Silver badge
Pint

Re: "Erm" is for the speech impedimented.

He sounds like an excellent teacher. I hope you bought him a few of these* -->

* real ale of course, not [US] Budweiser

Kubla Cant

Re: "Erm" is for the speech impedimented.

their habit of making so many of their vowels the same as in "her"

The sound in question is called a schwa, and it's the most common phoneme in English of all varieties.

Iain

Young 'un taking a nap?

Erm.... what's a 'whippernapper'?

Erms and Ums can be useful to insert comprehension pauses for those of that speak too fast for others. to understand...

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: Young 'un taking a nap?

"Erms and Ums can be useful to insert comprehension pauses for those of that speak too fast for others. to understand..."

If they do that too often in their flow of words then it is hard work trying to extract the overall meaning.

Mark Manderson

erm, Norman, where the erm.....fluck do you.....erm live?

Woza
Pint

Thank you for

"dischuffed"

I shall try and use it around the office, as long as I can avoid Norman.

Icon for the wordsmith.

disgruntled yank Silver badge

Wittgenstein

Perhaps Mr. Clark had in mind Philosophical Investigations, no. 464:

"My aim is to teach you to pass from a piece of disguised nonsense to something that is patent nonsense."

Now, I should not have thought that El Reg needed any help at all with patent nonsense; but Mr. Clark may have some right to consider himself as better at it.

Stevie Silver badge

Re: patent nonsense

Wittgenstein weighed in on the number of Perpetual Motion Machine designs granted a number by the USPO?

Dr. G. Freeman

(Tries typing in cuneiform)

Stevie Silver badge

cuneiform

Nonono you are doing it wrong. The letters are all overpunch codes.

Look it's very simple: Press ctrl-shift-capslock-w-p-h-&-PageUp and ... wait, no, that just unlocks a full load-out in Spy Hunter.

I'll have to find my notes.

Mike Moyle Silver badge

Perhaps Norman would have been more accepting, had you written: "And so we will formally need to, erm (sic), give notice that we're changing the shutdown date in December."

...Norman seems a sic sort of individual.

hmv

"I had never heard this term either by direct/indirect reference"

and

"I have taken note that MA and PhD holders use this term"

Minus 20 points for being unable to lie half-reasonably.

Jeffrey Nonken Silver badge

"Nothing particularly ungrammatical about that sentence."

Sentence fragment? Perhaps. I disagree, however; there is an implied "There is" in front, which you've merely left off as redundant. Of course, I just did the same thing.

I'm not actually an expert, so I reserve the right to be wrong.

Meantime, I believe your flamelord's example of "you know" should properly been put in quotes, like I did here.

Loyal Commenter Silver badge

I think Norman's problem is with padding words

You like know, like some people like use like like like every like other word like in a sentence. Like.

Unlike.

ibmalone Silver badge

Re: I think Norman's problem is with padding words

You like know, like some people like use like like like every like other word like in a sentence. Like.

I am like literally listening to that conversation like literally right now, and I'm literally not even lying.

Mark 85 Silver badge
Coat

Re: I think Norman's problem is with padding words

So with all the "likes", he's a Facebook fan????

the Jim bloke Bronze badge
Holmes

Re: I think Norman's problem is with padding words

Had a manager who would pad their sentences with "obviously", with the implication that if you didnt understand or agree with what they were saying - you - were stupid. As they were high up in the food chain the habit pervaded the supervisory class.

It's just a fancier way of saying "ya know..", and like all forms of baseless endorsement and excessive reinforcement, it makes me doubt they actually know what they are talking about.

Pedigree-Pete Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: I think Norman's problem is with padding words

Loyal Commenter. If you don't like "like" stay away from Liverpool and its environs, like. PP

Florida1920 Silver badge

Reading comprehension

Not being a Brit, I kept reading it as Thame Slink.

Fred Flintstone Gold badge

Re: Reading comprehension

I think that's where the Psycho The Rapist joke comes from.

:)

DougS Silver badge

More of a "well reasoned if, erm, somewhat stuffy complaint of the week"

A flame of a week has random capitalization, plenty of expletives or shift-key substitutes, and makes it difficult to tell if it was written by a sentient being or something that wouldn't even pass for AI to whoever created the AManFromMars1 AI.

A good flame leaves you imagining the thick pool of saliva that must have been left on the sender's keyboard after "submit" was clicked.

Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

Re: More of a "well reasoned if, erm, somewhat stuffy complaint of the week"

amanfrommars1 is actually quite intelligible when compared to his predecessor.

DougS Silver badge
Devil

Re: More of a "well reasoned if, erm, somewhat stuffy complaint of the week"

He had a predecessor? AManFromMars0, I assume?

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

The Register - Independent news and views for the tech community. Part of Situation Publishing