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back to article Support team discovers 'official' vendor paper doesn't rob you blind

Hello, Friday. And hello, therefore, another instalment of On-Call, The Register's week-ending reader-contributed tales of support jobs that occasionally work out for the best. This week, meet “Ben”, who told us that “In the early 'noughts I worked for a large tape/disk vendor.” In his early training some of the tape support …

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        1. Anonymous Coward
          Reply Icon
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

          Yes. Us Yanks get all woozy at the thought of tighthead ... loosehead maybe not so much. I don't think it would be prop-er to bring hookers into the conversation.

          (We play Rugby over here. Just not as much as we ought to.)

          Must make it difficult for girls playing Rugby over there?

          3 0 Reply
        2. Anonymous Coward
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          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

          You aren't allowed to play rugby union until you can master drinking properly.

          First you need to upgrade your pint measure to 568ml, secondly you need to be able to drink 15 of them ( at 4% ABV ) and call that a quiet night in the pub.

          Only then can you even think about playing the game, otherwise you won't know what your doing with yourselves in the third half.

          9 0 Reply
    2. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

      My two fun examples come from my brother the electrician. He was at google changing and over head light when he told his tool partner I need some dykes and a whip. Most of the folks in the office gave him a dirty look, one lady smiled at him.

      Second example. Still at google. He was talking about grow. cosmic purple and purple haze.

      }

      Carrots get your mind out of the gutter. He had to explain that one.

      5 0 Reply

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    4. Alan Brown Silver badge
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      Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

      " Durex in Australia meant sticky tape"

      And "Sierra" was made by Suzuki, not Ford. That can make for some interesting misunderstandings.

      0 0 Reply
      1. jake Silver badge
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        Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

        Many moons ago, Sarah Bee proposed an ElReg cross-pond translator. I volunteered to be one of the editors. Nothing ever came of it.

        0 0 Reply
      2. jake Silver badge
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        Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

        Automotive names are a marketing exercise. No true gear-head pays much attention to the name on the bonnet.

        0 0 Reply
  2. wolfetone Silver badge

    Customer opting for cheaper 3rd party labels?

    Sign O' The Times that.

    :)

    5 0 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      "opting for cheaper 3rd party labels"

      I can understand opting for some 3rd party options though.

      I went to "upgrade" a projector from VGA to HDMI, which simply required the cable to be changed. Manufacturer wanted to charge £185 + VAT for a 1.8m cable (it has an "M1" plug on one end, so not that easy to find).

      3rd party solution was less than a tenth of the cost.

      11 0 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
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        Facepalm

        Re: "opting for cheaper 3rd party labels"

        Red Cameras provide cables for $250+ each. Though arguably many say it is worth it for the quality/guarantee... though if you ask those on Youtube, some have had 3 in a row fail.

        1 0 Reply
        1. Pascal
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          Re: "opting for cheaper 3rd party labels"

          I had a very nasty argument with one of those high end audiophile shops when digital stuff started showing up - he was trying really hard to prove to me that his ~$300 gold-plated, HDMI cable was so badass that colors would be brighter, blacks would be darker and general contrast/sharpness would be better.

          Complete with 2 TV sets showing the same movies, with "exactly the same things except for good vs cheap hdmi cable", to prove how shitty it was to watch a movie with a cheap $50 HDMI cable vs his expensive one.

          9 0 Reply
          1. irrelevant
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            Re: "opting for cheaper 3rd party labels"

            Spotted a "Gold Plated" OPTICAL cable the other day ...

            0 0 Reply
  3. Chris King

    As the old, old saying goes...

    Even Duct Tape can't fix stupid. But it can muffle the sound.

    And I'll have to re-post this.

    19 1 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Re: As the old, old saying goes...

      "Even Duct Tape can't fix stupid. But it can muffle the sound."

      The large metal ducting for the air conditioning needed soundproofing with pieces of plastic foam. Whoever had done the job had glued them to the inside surfaces of the ducts - obstructing the airflow They had to come back and crawl inside the ducts to remove the material before fitting new foam on the outside.

      12 0 Reply
    2. Inspector71
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      Re: As the old, old saying goes...

      Sorry but I have to disagree, there is literally no problem that Duct Tape cannot fix. It can mend the very fabric of space/time if necessary.

      17 0 Reply
      1. GlenP Silver badge
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        Re: As the old, old saying goes...

        I have to disagree, there are some things Duct Tape can't fix, that's when you need cable ties!

        12 0 Reply
        1. jake Silver badge
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          Re: As the old, old saying goes...

          All the duct tape and cable ties in the world won't fix a small leak in a gas(petrol) tank. For that you need chewing gum. Bailing wire comes in handy, too. As does the twine variation.

          9 1 Reply
      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge
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        Re: As the old, old saying goes...

        literally no problem that Duct Tape cannot fix.

        Except for holding the rear indicator covers on on a Morris Minor.. (it worked for a short while but pretty soon got brittle and broke off).

        3 0 Reply
      3. Anonymous Coward
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        Anonymous Coward

        Re: As the old, old saying goes...

        then what do you use for a PHB that is rapidly killing the company ? Cricket bat, base ball bat, rubber paddle to the balls ?

        2 0 Reply
        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge
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          Re: As the old, old saying goes...

          "then what do you use for a PHB that is rapidly killing the company ?"

          Duct tape would be fine. It just takes more work than carpet.

          4 0 Reply
          1. Aladdin Sane
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            Re: As the old, old saying goes...

            If it moves and it shouldn't, use gaffer tape.

            If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40.

            11 0 Reply
          2. kain preacher
            Reply Icon

            Re: As the old, old saying goes...

            But but, I want to roll the PHB in carpet tacks.

            0 0 Reply
        2. J. Cook Silver badge
          Reply Icon
          Go

          Re: As the old, old saying goes...

          "then what do you use for a PHB that is rapidly killing the company ? Cricket bat, base ball bat, rubber paddle to the balls ?"

          All three, starting with the one that delivers the least amount of pain, ending with the lethal one.

          3 0 Reply
  4. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

    It's a little bemusing to note the recent trend to pour scorn on OnCall articles. The longer folk are in the IT game, the more chance there is of seeing real oddities, and although we, especially those of us in IT, are bred to spot trends, and mistrust things that do not conform to trend, OnCall really is just an interesting repository of anecdotes, not a manual of best practice. It is doubtful, though possible, that readers may submit anecdotes they have completely made up, and it is possible that the inevitable mistrusting responses amount to mere regrettable forum arrogance, but still, can we not just enjoy the Friday shared experiences? If a commenter is up tight after a tough week, see icon, no need to prove superiority by pronouncing on a short, and by necessity, incomplete little story.

    Just a thought...

    -

    * - thank you, St.Terry

    46 0 Reply
    1. defiler
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      Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

      You noticed that too?

      I can confidently put my hand up and say that we have a tape library that didn't read a batch of labels. Some it would read inconsistently, and others not at all. Got hold of a label vendor and gave them the make/model of the library. "Yes, we'll provide labels that work." And they did.

      Another On-Call that I've lived and breathed...

      30 0 Reply
    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge
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      Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

      "OnCall really is just an interesting repository of anecdotes, not a manual of best practice"

      It's a pretty good manual of worst practice.

      19 0 Reply
      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge
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        Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

        It's a pretty good manual of worst practice.

        Like working at Motorola ECIG in IT. It taught me a hell of a lot about IT - sadly, most of it was how *not* to do IT..

        5 0 Reply
    3. Little Mouse
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      Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

      Agreed - A lot of apocryphal stories have a grounding in truth. "shared experiences" is a pretty good label for many of them.

      I have personally dealt with a user who genuinely couldn't find the "any" key, seen multiplugs plugged into themselves, and removed all manner of foreign objects from assorted hardware. All true, even though you've heard them all before.

      (Although I've never had to deal with the fabled "cup holder"...)

      13 0 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
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        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

        Likewise, only being a simple observer, I've seen schools/offices cheap out to save money on things "not IT" that break IT... such as not bothering fitting air con = all the PCs overcooking every summer and needing parts replaced. It's one of those "myths" that it happens, until you see it.

        That and security. Most places have nothing of it.

        10 0 Reply
      2. Fading
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        Paris Hilton

        Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

        "seen multiplugs plugged into themselves" - you have to do that to stop the electricity from leaking away.......

        13 0 Reply
        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge
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          Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

          to stop the electricity from leaking away

          Is that like making sure all the token-ring cables are fastened securely so that the token doesn't fall out the end?

          11 0 Reply
      3. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
        Reply Icon

        Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

        Customer called me to site once. Their cd-rom drive did not want to eject the CD that was inside.

        Upon powering the PC down and using the emergency eject feature with Binky the grumpy papperclip, it soon became apparent why - thr CD-Rom was upside down...

        4 0 Reply
        1. Alan Brown Silver badge
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          Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

          "thr CD-Rom was upside down..."

          This is a genuine device maker "fail". Even the very first commercial CD players could handle this without refusing to eject (I had a CD350 and people would regularly drop CDs in the wrong way up.)

          0 0 Reply
          1. jake Silver badge
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            Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

            Alan, I suspect the "CD-Rom" in question was the drive, not the disc.

            0 0 Reply
      4. Alan Brown Silver badge
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        Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

        "and removed all manner of foreign objects from assorted hardware. "

        As an electronics apprentice long before I got into IT, I can assure everyone that the stories about what 3 year olds will post into video recorder tape slots are _all_ true.... :)

        1 0 Reply
        1. jake Silver badge
          Reply Icon

          Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

          I pulled a partially eaten PB&J sandwich out of a Betamax player once. Years later, the abuser of said Beta machine called me to own up, and to tell me ... rather than re-typeing it, read here:

          https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/1649281

          0 0 Reply
        2. Kiwi
          Reply Icon
          Pint

          Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

          As an electronics apprentice long before I got into IT, I can assure everyone that the stories about what 3 year olds will post into video recorder tape slots are _all_ true.... :)

          From the same background, I disagree - I think some of them are.. what's the opposite of exaggerated? I know there's things I've seen come out of VCR's, supposedly put there by kids, that most people won't believe. Hell, I sometimes wonder if the boss slipped something funny in my drink a few times, or if I "observed" a little more voltage than was healthy...

          There's stuff you just wonder how a toddler had the strength to force it into the damned machine. And then there's the stuff you hope never to smell again, and wonder how it spent days inside the machine before the owner found it!

          --> Some bad memories need suppressing again....

          0 0 Reply
    4. handleoclast
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      Re: Million to one chances occur nine times out of ten*

      Sometimes the On Call articles remind me a little of the letters that appeared in nudie mags (perhaps they still do, but these days pornhub beats Penthouse as far as I'm concerned). It might be invention, but as long as it is well done and has the desired effect (laughter, for On Call) then I'm happy.

      9 0 Reply
  5. AbelSoul

    Re: What have you fixed with sticky tape?

    Tape.

    I used to fix tape with tape.

    More specifically, back in the mists of time when home taping was killing music, I was an enthusiastic home taper.

    Some of these cassettes became quite precious.

    Occasionally such a cassette would suffer from snapped tape.

    A little scalpel blade and a few well-placed millimetres of (possibly the same frosted type of) Scotch tape could resurrect them with only a split second of distorted wobble to belie the repair job.

    Ahh, nostalgia. Even after all these years it still aint what it used to be.

    15 0 Reply
    1. David Nash Silver badge
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      Re: What have you fixed with sticky tape?

      Fixing Tape with Tape.

      Yes, I used to do the same. I even had a special little plastic block that you could put the ends onto to cut them properly with a razor blade.

      6 0 Reply
      1. handleoclast
        Reply Icon

        Re: What have you fixed with sticky tape?

        You had a special little plastic block? Mine was made of aluminium. Manufactured (or at least marketed) by Bib. Which had a sister company Ersin (familiar to anyone who used their multicore solder).

        8 0 Reply
        1. Anonymous Coward
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          Anonymous Coward

          Re: What have you fixed with sticky tape?

          "Mine was made of aluminium. "

          Tape decks made an advance in the 1960s when the end of the tape on a reel had a "male" end that attached to a "female" counterpart on the take-up reel. You soon became an expert at replacing damaged couplings using a splice guide.

          Repairing a damaged paper tape was more tricky as you had to re-punch any covered holes.

          3 0 Reply
  6. Anonymous Custard
    Boffin

    Lash-up

    Not sure about fixed with tape, but I can certainly say that my PhD lab equipment back in the day (over 20 years ago now) was held together with GE varnish, duct tape and dental floss.

    Especially the latter, amazingly good stuff to secure wiring etc out of the way even at liquid helium temperatures.

    10 0 Reply
    1. Tom 7
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      Re: Lash-up

      Ahh - thanks for mentioning dental floss - I've been trying to find some low stretch string for ages fora world saving project!

      1 0 Reply
      1. Alan Brown Silver badge
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        Re: Lash-up

        arrgh, don't remind me of waxed string lacing. That stuff would seriously mess up your fingers in the days when telcos insisted on using it. I left significant amounts of blood on various cabling whilst lacing up and was very happy to move to cable ties.

        0 0 Reply
  7. Ivan Headache

    Back in the 60s

    I went to Le Mans to watch the 24 hour race.

    I remember one of the Ford GT40s having a large section of of its bodywork held on with (what we in the RAF at the time called) bodge tape.

    It was the year Dan Gurney & AJ Foyt wond - I've pictures somewhere - but where?

    5 0 Reply
    1. jake Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Back in the 60s

      Gurney & Foyt probably called it 200 MPH tape back then. We did.

      I've since heard it called 300 MPH tape in drag racing circles.

      2 0 Reply
      1. collinsl Bronze badge
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        Re: Back in the 60s

        "Speed tape" is indeed tape designed for aircraft to secure non-essential broken things for flight, and will hold at up to the sound barrier.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_tape

        6 0 Reply
        1. Stevie
          Reply Icon
          Pint

          Re: "Speed tape"

          Oooh, thanks for the steer collinsl. This is relevant to my interests.

          eBeer for you.

          3 1 Reply

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