Sorry, but those huge walls of terms and conditions you never read are legally binding

"No one reads those"

When I started at my current employer, on an Internet Hell Desk, I was assisting a new customer setting up a modem. Part of the setup includes walking through a walled garden that requires the customer agree to a "Terms of Service" This is as close to the exact wording as I can remember:

Me: "Ok, now just read the Terms of Service, scroll down, and click agree."

Her: "I'm a lawyer. No one reads these. I'll just agree."

Me: "Umm, you really should have read that first. <Company Redacted> now owns your soul."

Her: "I'm a red-head. I don't have one."

Much humor was had, manglers got involved, and there was some talk about possible misconduct. The fact that the CUSTOMER said it saved my job.

And that, kids, is why I DO read them: but what about fake names?

My work requires extreme awareness of what happens to data as I have a duty to protect clients.

This is why I read T&Cs and if you would have really worked your way through the ones that you, for instance, accepted when you started using Google and Facebook you would have never agreed to them.

There is, however, a question I have not seen answered yet: what happens if you use a fake name when you sign up? I know that both FB and Google "insist" on people using their real name but as long as you use something halfway plausible and don't use it for messaging/email you would have a contract in a name of a person that would not exist, I don't think there's such a concept as a legal nom de plume in contract. The flipside of these agreements is that the worst they can do there is to shut down your account. That's possibly bad for people who live their live online but it would make zero difference in my case.

Six Little Words

There are six little words that appear in every set of Terms and Conditions, as follows:

Your statutory rights are not affected.

Meaning that whatever you may think you are agreeing to, anything the Law of the Land already gave you the ability to do, is still yours to do. You cannot legally enter into a contract which diminishes your rights under the Law of the Land. They might try to scare you off, but there are certain prohibitions they simply cannot enforce.

Unfortunately, it's still your job to know what these are, and not their job to tell you -- apart from the six-word reminder that they even exist.

Obiter

Was it not an English Judge of long ago who said: 'He who has eyes clear enough to read [these terms] has not experience enough to understand them' ?

So let me get this straight. In 'Murica, if you install an app you have to agree to a list of T&C's that are not actually presented to you but given as a link on a webserver that may not actually be online?

**By reading this comment you agree to the Terms and Conditions outlined in the document which can be found in the basement of your local Planning Department in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door reading "Beware of the leopard".

Please bring a torch as the lights aren't working (Neither are the stairs)

Uber

This is typical of a dot com company to treat its users so poorly. I would never use them as the people that I know can't make a living off of it and they do work 12 hours a day.

Wait until you get pages of virtually unreadable T&Cs for your autonomous vehicle.

The bottom line will be; if you own it, it's yours and it's your responsibility even if the software's flawed. That's how the autonomous vehicle makers will try to escape liability. But it probably won't work. Class action lawsuits over vehicle-related deaths have been very successful. The tech industry and auto industry aren't the same thing.

This is why I never accept EULAs, my cat Mr Fluffy does for me.

Given that T&C are never to the customers benefit

Then the answer is not to use anything that comes with unreasonable T&C, in the UK atleast your statatory rights mean that you cannot sign away your legal rights no matter the contract.

Given that in the US the state makes it plain that it protects the rights of the vendor over the normal citizen then your only option is not to use anything with unreasonable/unclear T&C.

I am not saying I agree with this situation but whilst it exists your only power is to not sign any contract and hence not pay any dodgy companies. Without income those companies who exploit their customers will go bust, you might also try getting the law changed but since there are so many vested interests involved it is unlikely to happen, certainly not under the current regime.