I wish I could be there...
To see the look on their face after managing to steal both my phone and wallet, break my phone PIN within 10 attempts, figure out which card the one random PIN in my memos is for (the one I can't change FWIW) then to realise that, as a millennial, there's about $20 in total across all my cards anyway!
Sucks to be you theif! Oh, wait :s