Vote now for the WORST movie EVER It's taken us more than a week, but we're finally ready to raise the curtain on the contenders for the worst movie ever title. We're still a bit groggy after days of wading through the most malodorous cinematic effluent as nominated by you, our beloved readers, so while you get on with the voting you'll excuse us if we go for …
I haven't seen ST2, and don't intend to. However, Starship Troopers 3 reprises the satire of the first film, but with a contemporary twist. Not amazing, but good fun! Plus nudity, exploding heads, the brain bug and the return of Rico. The special effects are a bit shoddy, but it is a true companion to the first film, IMHO.
[ET, obviously!]
If you want to play intellectual medium trumps - the books are the only true version.
I enjoyed the TV series, it has a bit of charm to it.
The movie was alright, wouldn't say it was the worst film of all time, its a nice way to spend a couple of hours.
Independence Day is down as the worst movie plot ending.
Seeing the cities blown up, forcefields, aliens, as an audience willing to suspend belief to get into it, for mid 90s at the cinema the effects were quite spectacular.
Then they ruin it by having "I'm a mac" Goldblum plug a Powerbook into a totally alien interface, have it send and execute a virus, then display a laughing man on the monitors.
So either:
- Lazy script writing. "Hey aliens use computers, we use computers, and viruses kill computers! Bingo! Apple will pay us $x billion for product placement! Ding ding!" while the rest of us see a machine that could barely talk to a contemporary PC, never mind an intel OSX machine, connect, execute a virus on an extraterrestrial computer.
or:
- Aliens which live light years away, millions / billions of years in advance to us used all of their technical knowledge in building spacecraft, and never got their computer tech past 1st generation PowerPC architecture, Appletalk, ethernet cabling and VGA screens, making them susceptible to mac attacks.
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Lester,
You simply watched the thing in the wrong country. The Dutch subtitler was apparently unaware of a certain English idiom, and so the US became the proud owner of a battleship named Row. And the Japanese keep sending more planes after her, because they hit Arizona, they hit Missouri, and so on, but whatever they do Row is still there.
...So you imagine earlier on the Row sailing into port, sailors on the deck dressed smartly and the music is "Row, Row, Row your boat"...
This sort of thing can make up for a lot in the movie proper.
"remove the special effects and what are you left with?"
...
Would the same not apply to e.g. Star Wars?
Yes and no ... the original Star Wars has a very old, tried and tested plot with a "dashing" pirate, a princess, her magician brother and their evil father... without the space opera setting or the special effects there's still a (fairy) story underneath.
The same cannot be said of Avatar really; generic bad people are chopping down the forest... stopped by magical blue elves with the help of Dian Fossey. It's not a terrible film, just hugely over-rated... you could probably get the same effect from getting drunk and staring at old Yes album covers.
Avatar was my nomination. It's not even a real film but is a mashup of EVERY FILM CLICHE IMAGINABLE.
The dialogue is awful, every character has been plucked straight from another film, and as for the love story element, "Now we are mated for life", after one roll in the bushes, COME ON, thats not love, that's a scary-blue-stalker-lady-who-one-day-will-boil-your-bunny.
Oh god yes... never before had I seen a film in which I'd wanted "the bad guy" (who/whatever the hell it was) to murder the whole bunch of whining, snivelling, annoying fecktards quite so much... plus "shakeycam" fake documentaries really, really annoy me and this was probably the first - would have probably enjoyed Cloverfield had it not been for that.
That, my companion in taste, says it all....the only film that I've ever walked out of..GF wasn't amused to say the least, she was a BIG fan of that sort of tripe - shortly thereafter she became ex-GF.
I'm a typical, thrifty (mean) Scot, and I've sat through some dire films in my time, just because I'd refused to admit that I had effectively shoved my entrance fee down the toilet - but this one had me silently begging for someone to firebomb the cinema...then I broke and ran.
"...the only film that I've ever walked out of..GF wasn't amused to say the least, she was a BIG fan of that sort of tripe..."
I very nearly walked out on "Moulin Rouge" back in '01. Jeezus, what a stinkburger. Nicole Kidmon singing... Christ, that should've been against the Geneva Convention. And, yeah, my wife thought "Moulin Rouge" was adorable. I damn' near left her alone in the theater while I went to a bar across the street and tried to kill off the brain cells storing the memory of that wretched pile.
Seriously, if you don't vote for this film you literally have not seen it! :) A few highlights:
It stars Debbie Gibson!
The megashark jumps out of the water and catches a jumbo jet!
The giant squid eats a bridge!
A scientist mixes coloured liquids for absolutely no reason!
This film is stuffed to the gills with so much incomprehensible ridiculousness as to render all other films ever made into potential oscar winners! Seriously you have to see it and even then you won't believe what you are watching :)
I got this out to watch on DVD about a year ago after hearing it might be in the "So bad it's good" category.
It isn't.
The only 2 hours of my life that have ever felt longer were 7-9pm this last Tuesday evening when I had to sit through my 5-year-old's end of term school concert. I've barely slept since.
Yes, I voted for that! I watched it mostly disbelieving that my eyes could have betrayed me by letting this travesty be seen! The torture ended somewhere towards the "middle" of the film.
Perhaps these films should carry a new pre announcement warning saying:
"Warning: the following film is so bad you will want to poke out your eyes with cocktail sticks then eat them! Seriously, do not watch this film if you value your (in)sanity!"
None of these films really counts as "worst", they're simply bad films that managed to salvage something (not a lot, but something) by spending their way out of awfulness.
To get to the truly bad films, you have to go down a couple of levels to films that had neither the money, not the script or acting talent to produce anything of worth. However, since nobody watches anything that bad, knowledge of their existence is, mercifully, highly restricted. If you do want to discover the real worst of the execrably worst just have a look at the UK Syfy Channel's filmic offerings for any randomly chosen week.
I think the point is that the films listed here are mostly big-budget films and many have high reputations. Though I haven't seen them all, most of the ones I have seen have been well-made - but bad.
the exception is Blair Witch Project - deliberately badly-made, boring, annoying, and ultimately pointless.
The other group that should be included is a raft of well-regarded arty films from several decades ago. Directors like David Cronenberg, Eric Rohmer, and even Ingmar Bergman.
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