back to article Support team discovers 'official' vendor paper doesn't rob you blind

Hello, Friday. And hello, therefore, another instalment of On-Call, The Register's week-ending reader-contributed tales of support jobs that occasionally work out for the best. This week, meet “Ben”, who told us that “In the early 'noughts I worked for a large tape/disk vendor.” In his early training some of the tape support …

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            1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

              Re: I first heard this story back in the early 1990s.

              Saniflo - the original "when the shit hits the fan" contraption...

              As Martin said: avoid whenever possible.

              1. Martin an gof Silver badge

                Re: I first heard this story back in the early 1990s.

                As Martin said: avoid whenever possible.

                Just to add context, a few years before my story I was working at Magna Science Adventure Centre in Rotherham. Pretty much all of the sewage has to be pumped off that site and the place was replete with Saniflos (which were always going wrong - they are not designed for use in public loos) and also had a large "industrial" macerator / pump set in the basement underneath the main public loos.

                The day the place opened (fortunately I started there a couple of weeks later) this unit failed, and with thousands upon thousands of visitors thronging the place suddenly there was "stuff" coming out of the loos that should have been disappearing down the pipe.

                One of my colleagues was tasked - by the company which installed the whole system - with climbing a ladder to access an elbow in the 4" that they suspected was blocked.

                A couple of turns of a screwdriver later, and suddenly every radio in the building erupted with (I am told) a scream like something out of a cheap 1970s horror flick, as the whole vertical stack emptied its contents over my colleague.

                Could have been predicted, I suppose, but for that and other reasons I (and my traumatised colleague - hello Matt if you're out there) have a severe mistrust of the things.

                Oh, and Saniflo itself is a French company I believe. French plus electrics plus water. Enough said.

                M.

      1. collinsl Bronze badge

        Re: I first heard this story back in the early 1990s.

        In a similar vein to Wedgewood to fit (metal) tyres on train wheels (for they do have them) they heat the tyres to a set temperature to expand them relative to the actual wheel. In the old days the foreman used to spit on the tyre to see if his spit balled up - if it did it was hot enough, if not it needed more heat.

        These days, they have wax pens which melt and ball up at different temperatures - they merely mark the tyre and watch the wax.

        1. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: I first heard this story back in the early 1990s.

          "These days, they have wax pens which melt and ball up at different temperatures - they merely mark the tyre and watch the wax."

          I suspect that they'd use IR thermometers these days or FLIR cameras.

          Anyway, tyres on train wheels are a bad idea. Ask Deutsche Bahn about how that large ICE crash at Eschede in 1998 got started.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: I first heard this story back in the early 1990s.

            We still use wax pens on outboard motors. It's an easy indicator for a thermostat that is either stuck open, stuck closed or working properly. No moving parts, and no batteries.

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Common English words with very different meanings.....

    Many moons ago, when I lived in trendy Chelsea, as was my won't many an evening was spent trying to convince the local females to partake of a viewing of my etchings.

    On one particular occasion an antipodean young lady, who was a little the worse for imbibing ended up back at my flat.

    After an appropriate amount of dimmed lighting and soft music produced the desired mood we retired to my boudoir to continue our international discourse.

    When I told her I had some Durex somewhere she looked at me askew and asked "What kind of guy are you?", I responded, somewhat confused "I assumed you'd want to take precautions?". Her response of "What kind of precautions can you take with Durex?" caused me even more confusion, somewhat dampening the mood I had worked so hard to achieve.

    Eventually when I found the Durex she explained that Durex in Australia meant sticky tape and she thought maybe I was some kind of pervey.

    The things you learn about a foreign tongue.

    1. hplasm
      Thumb Up

      Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

      "The things you learn about a foreign tongue."

      Ooo- matron!

      It's innuendoes all the way down. Well done!

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

        I was aghast on my first day of primary school in Blighty. One of my new classmates asked to borrow a rubber[0] ... This Californian knew about prophylactics at the ripe old age of 9ish, but had never actually seen one, much less been in possession of one. Fortunately, the teacher had a few cross-pond clues and translated for me. I think she was more embarrassed than I was ...

        [0] Note to my fellow Yanks: That's an eraser, not a condom.

        1. hplasm
          Coat

          Re:One of my new classmates asked to borrow a rubber[0] ...

          Child: Miss! I don't have an eraser...

          New tracher: Just use that little girl's behind.

        2. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

          "[0] Note to my fellow Yanks: That's an eraser, not a condom."

          One of my friends became a teacher and moved to the USA. He made the mistake of telling the kids in his class that he liked to grow pot plants.

    2. Chunky Munky
      Joke

      Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

      Jasper Carrott has a lot to answer for

      1. Little Mouse

        Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

        "A roll? A roll of Durex? I'd like to see his Christmas presents..."

        1. Paul Woodhouse

          Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

          His stockings are most likely large enough to jingle a few balls in....

    3. Chris King
      Coat

      Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

      Jasper Carrott commented on that in one of his sketches, and if I remember rightly he said something about a sign in his hotel room... "DMo not stick Durex to the walls".

      Yes, mine's the one with the unbranded adhesive tape in the left pocket.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

      "Eventually when I found the Durex she explained that Durex in Australia meant sticky tape and she thought maybe I was some kind of pervey."

      On kibbutz in Israel there was much amusement that the site shop stocked a product unexpectedly branded "Durex". The British volunteers were rolling on the floor with laughter. The Australians in the group couldn't see why it was quite so funny. They then added to the Brits' hilarity by explaining Australia's use of the brand for sticky tape.

      The Israeli "Durex" brand name was for a kitchen scouring pad.

      1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

        Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

        On misunderstandings in Kibbutzim; a mate was there but his hebrew was terrible, and couldn't understand the hilarity when he asked how many carrots he should peel. Turns out the word for 'virgins" is very close to the word for carrots...

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

        >The Israeli "Durex" brand name was for a kitchen scouring pad.

        Ouch. Do not confuse..

      3. Tom 7

        Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

        A scouring pad? Which bright cunt thought of that?

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

      giving this an IT bent, router has a rude meaning in Oz so they pronounce it rowter

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

        It is correctly pronounced "rowter". Trust me on this, I was there. It was always rowter, never rooter, until I was shipped over to Blighty with some of the first Cisco boxes to be seen on those shores[0]. Even back then I tried to convince you lot of the error of your ways, but no, you know better than the people who invented the product. Bless.

        Conversely, most Yanks don't pronounce Jaguar-the-auto properly ...

        Two peoples separated by a common language, indeed.

        [0] Beta-build, massive, loud AGS+ boxen, if I remember correctly ... Late 1986ish.

        1. GlenP Silver badge

          Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

          It is correctly pronounced "rowter".

          I've had American colleagues disagreeing on the correct pronunciation so what chance have we Brits got?

          1. Aladdin Sane

            Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

            Router? I barely know her!

        2. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

          Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

          It is correctly pronounced "rowter". Trust me on this

          If you can tell me which rowt the B56 bus takes I might :)

          It seems perfectly obvious to me that something which routes packets between ports should be called a router, "rooter"

          Maybe we should ask someone who hangs around on that infamous US road; "Rowt 66"

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

            Has nothing to do with freeways or road traffic. It was a new tool, with a new name.

            Frankly, I have no idea WHY the pronunciation was always rowter ... but that's how it is pronounced, and has been right from the year dot. Except in Blighty.

            1. David Nash Silver badge

              Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

              It's exactly the same as freeways and road traffic. A route between two places, be they on the network or on a physical road - presumably pronounced differently in the UK and US/OZ.

              Like many other things. Tomatoes anyone?

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

            yes its job is to ROUTE traffic hence its a router. I take a particular route to work I don't take a rowt

          3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

            If you can tell me which rowt the B56 bus takes I might :)

            Depends how frightened[1] the driver is..

            [1] To be fair, an enemy unit routing is a little different from the process of making sure that packets end up in all the right places.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

          if you want to get picky WE INVENTED THE LANGUAGE! ;o)

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

            English wasn't invented. It evolved.

          2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

            WE INVENTED THE LANGUAGE

            ObPedant: Strictly speaking, a bunch of hairy semi-barbarians about a thousand years ago wrote^W spoke the original language spec. It's been substantially upgraded, enhanced[1] and forked[2] since..

            [1] Excuse me Mr OldFrench - can I steal some of your vocabulary please? ktnxbai.

            [2] Sometimes forked up beyond all recognition. CF ValleySpeak.

            1. OzBob

              Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

              The english language was forked? It's a brave soul who would draw up the git branch tree for the english language.

              1. jake Silver badge

                Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

                OzBob, would this qualify for a start?

                http://www.danshort.com/ie/timeline.htm

                And of course, this series of pages should give all y'all a nice headache:

                https://www.britannica.com/topic/English-language

          3. anothercynic Silver badge

            Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

            Correction. We stole it. From the Normans. And then adulterated it into something entirely else...

            Just what we accuse our former colonialists of doing with English (to American). ;-)

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

              "We stole it. From the Normans. "

              The Norman immigrants insisted on calling their food by French names - which were different from the English ones. So the English peasants tended swine - and the Norman lords ate the finished product as pork. A calf was raised to be veal on the table. The English didn't need to adopt "chien" though - as the Dibbler object in a bun apparently hadn't yet been invented.

              The English have developed a pragmatic approach to language. If someone in another country had a novel idea then their word for it was adopted. Spelling hardly mattered as English is definitely no longer phonetic. Some countries' officialdom insist on inventing their own word for everything new they import - and complain when their own plebs still call it a "computer".

              1. Johan-Kristian Wold 1

                Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

                The english language has evolved by assaulting other languages in dark alleys, and going through their pockets (pocketses?) for loose vocabulary and spare grammar...

          4. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

            "....WE INVENTED THE LANGUAGE..."

            I think the Greeks, Romans, Celts and Saxons may have had a hand in it.

            Anyhoo...talk to anyone under twenty and they now longer talk English as I know it, they seem to all just talk what I call FACETXTTERGRAMOJI.

            Slainte.

        4. katrinab Silver badge

          Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

          https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/rout

          Rout - A disorderly retreat of defeated troops, An assembly of people who have made a move towards committing an illegal act which would constitute an offence of riot, A large evening party or reception, A pack of wolves

          If your Cisco box does that to your network packets, then there is something very wrong.

          If it directs them on the correct route to their intended destination, then it is pronounced rooter.

        5. collinsl Bronze badge

          Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

          We say roote not rowte for the path someone should take, so it's only natural we say rooter not rowter.

        6. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

          "It is correctly pronounced "rowter"."

          How do you pronounce "route". If you pronounce it "rowt" I can see how you got to your rowter pronunciation but we've had routes in the UK way before the router was invented to allocate them.

        7. Uffish

          Re: You say .. I say ..

          I tried root,rout,route,router on Google Ngram. Over the last 200 years the words root (as in carrots) and route (as in 66) have been consistently and widely used, the word rout (as in disorderly retreat) less widely used and with a steady but slow decline in usage. The word router only starts to get going after about 1975, and I guess that was due to Cisco & Co.

          But where does the IT version of router come from, the carpentry tool, the disorderly retreat or route (as in 66)? I would bet on the route (66) derivation.

          So I checked YouTube for examples of Route 66 sung by Americans. In my sample 'root' was the American way to pronounce route.

          English is a great language isn't it.

          1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

            Re: You say .. I say ..

            English, as a language, is messed up enough without Americans (and Australians/similar) habitually misappropriating words and pronounciations.

            Apart from having two words for almost every traditional/physical object, i.e. Cow+Beef, Pig+Ham and so on, we have a vast array of words that are not pronounced anything like they can be sounded out. For example "put" (opp. of take), "friend" (seriously, what is the "i" doing there?), arbitrarily deciding that a "y" (why) is actually either pronounced "ee" or "eye", never "why" of course... and it goes on.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: You say .. I say ..

              "and it goes on."

              That's a rough cough you have from standing under a bough in the rain holding the reins of the reigning monarch's horse. You bought that upon yourself.

              1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

                Re: You say .. I say ..

                "You bought that upon yourself."

                Brought?

                Missed one out: lough.

                1. jake Silver badge

                  Re: You say .. I say ..

                  Ugh. Make's me feel rough & tough. Suppose I ought to quit? I don't make enough dough for this, I feel like I've been houghed, Hugh.

                  1. Anonymous Coward
                    Anonymous Coward

                    Re: You say .. I say ..

                    "I feel like I've been houghed, "

                    Now that is a new word for me "to cut hamstrings of an animal". Apparently pronounced "hocked".

                2. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: You say .. I say ..

                  "Brought?"

                  Mea culpa - typo that the spell checker couldn't catch. Saw it the next day - by which time I assumed everyone had moved on.

                  What pronunciation for "lough" - same as "tough" and "rough"?

                  Edit: "lough" is pronounced "lox" - effectively an Irish loch. Presumably a loan word.

      2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

        giving this an IT bent, router has a rude meaning in Oz so they pronounce it rowter

        Router (pronouncer rowter) is a power tool that routs.

        Router (pronounced rooter) is a piece of network hardware that routes.

        The joys of the English language, eh?

        1. J. Cook Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

          "giving this an IT bent, router has a rude meaning in Oz so they pronounce it rowter

          Router (pronouncer rowter) is a power tool that routs.

          Router (pronounced rooter) is a piece of network hardware that routes."

          And here in the USA, a rooter is a device that cleans out sewer pipes that have gotten clogged because some muppet kept pouring grease down the sink.

          There's also a business called "roto-rooter" which had a catchy advertisement jingle back in the day as well; When I worked for [ISP] some years ago, we had a version of it that went "Get a cisco rooter, that's the name! And away go your packets, down the drain."

          It's not quite beer o'clock over here, but I need one.

    6. IHateWearingATie

      Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

      Telling an american about rugby can be a little fraught when describing a certain position in the front row as my Dad discovered talking to a stranger at DIsney World....

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

        Yes. Us Yanks get all woozy at the thought of tighthead ... loosehead maybe not so much. I don't think it would be prop-er to bring hookers into the conversation.

        (We play Rugby over here. Just not as much as we ought to.)

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