back to article Apple: Our stores are your 'town square' and a $1,000 iPhone is your 'future'

Apple has summoned friendly press to its new Cupertino campus to christen the Steve Jobs Theater with the introduction of a new set of products to hit the shelves this Fall. CEO Tim Cook used the occasion to showcase updates to the AppleTV and Watch lines, while a new, eye-wateringly expensive iPhone model stole the show. …

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        reads your face and works ... or otherwise alter your appearance

        Well sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't apparently.

        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-4878556/Apple-exec-suffers-embarrassing-glitch-FaceID-FAILS.html

        Remind anyone else of Bill Gates getting a BSOD at a launch when telling everyone about how much more reliable things were.

        1. LaeMing
          Happy

          Re: reads your face and works ... or otherwise alter your appearance

          I imagine it works to the same extent Newton handwriting recognition works (which probably means it works flawlessly for me but noone else!)

  1. J. R. Hartley

    Gentlemen.

    She doesn't chooch, and definitely isn't skookum.

    Son of a diddly.

    1. PhilipN Silver badge

      Re: Gentlemen.

      All hail - Ave!

    2. streaky

      Re: Gentlemen.

      Invaded by Canuckistan. We all knew this day would come.

    3. A K Stiles
      Joke

      Re: Gentlemen.

      Well that certainly ain't no Cockford-Ollie

  2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "a $1,000 iPhone is your 'future'"

    Oh no it isn't. Not mine, anyway.

    1. Wade Burchette

      "a $1,000 iPhone is your 'future'"

      At that price, Apple will only attract the hipster doofuses who have more money than sense. These are the kind of people say to Apple "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!" For the rest of us, the majority of us who have a life outside a status symbols, they will look elsewhere.

      1. Triggerfish

        Re: "a $1,000 iPhone is your 'future'"

        You know there is one good thing about the release of super expensive phones like this and the note.

        The prices of decent flagships from last year start dropping like stones, you can pick up an S8 plus now for about £500.

    2. FuzzyWuzzys
      Facepalm

      Bought £150 Android thing from TESCO, it makes calls, takes messages, gets weather via an app and plays music ( and no doubt will run Twatter and Facepalm apps too ) , which covers 90% of what most people want from a modern phone! Cheers TESCO you saved me 850 Sovs else I might have bought this Apple thing instead, doh!

      1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

        Bought £150 Android

        Concur. My new one which is anything but a landfill (it is an XA1) cost 189. Better camera than the iPhone too.

        As far as no bezel, it matters very little as you get a bezel from the case you need to put it in to keep it from damage.

        1000 for a phone? You are out of your f*** mind mate.

        1. Triggerfish

          @ Voland's right hand

          I agree with that comment on the bezeless phones actually real nice look, but it's going in a case as soon as I get one anyway, thing lives in my pocket all day.

          1. werdsmith Silver badge

            Re: @ Voland's right hand

            But it won't be that much money to the buyers, the cost is abstracted behind a £65 per month payment that includes all their calls and data. That's 2 x takeaway nights in our house or half the cost of a decent sit down restaurant evening (which is why I won't be buying one, I'd rather have the takeaways).

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: @ Voland's right hand

              "But it won't be that much money to the buyers, the cost is abstracted behind a £65 per month payment that includes all their calls and data. "

              Currently I pay between £6.25 and £10 a month for all my calls and data. £500 a year on top? I have an annual phone budget of £150, though I had to go £100 over this year because I managed to destroy the one I intended to sell. I use just about every significant feature of Android including the barometer and compass.

              I then encounter people with the big iPhones who use them only - and I mean only - for calls and text, and possibly email. The usual reason? "My son told me to get one." It's like seeing a Range Rover used for nothing but taking the kids to and from private school...oh wait.

          2. Dazed and Confused

            Re: @ Voland's right hand

            > I agree with that comment on the bezeless phones actually real nice look, but it's going in a case as soon as I get one anyway, thing lives in my pocket all day.

            I've got a S7Edge thing and keep it in my pocket but I don't want to add a case as that would bulk it up to much. Mind it is the first mobile I'm managed to break the screen on, dropping 3' face down onto a tiled floor probably wasn't a great move.

            The photos I've seen of this new iPhone don't look like the screen really is edge to edge, there's loads of space around the edge, at least a mm or 2. To me, edge to edge means that if a mate an I put our phones down side by side there should be no discernable gap and that it won't be long until an app arrives that lets us treat the pair of phones as a single bigger screen, or put several down together to get a much bigger one to watch movies on.

            1. Triggerfish

              Re: @ Voland's right hand

              It's a bit YMMV. I am sure I'd end up with a broken phone at some point. I have the phone on me all the time and the risk of it getting knocked when it is in my pocket and out and about added to the fact where I live even carpets and rugs are not common and so knocking it off a table or fumbling it is always a drop to a hard floor (the case has easily justified itself in this alone pretty sure screen would be a goner by now). For me it's just asking for it. I can live with the bulk it makes my current phone 12mm thick in total and has admittedly caused it to weigh twice as much but it's a minor inconvenience compared with it being well protected for me.

              Also 1-2mm of plastic is not going to do naff all especially as its part of the structure, all that shock from a drop will pretty much go to the screen, a corner drop is not going to be good.

              1. Dr Dan Holdsworth

                Re: @ Voland's right hand

                Why on earth they cannot follow Samsung's lead and make a smartphone that, whilst it doesn't have curvy screen edges and incredible look and feel DOES have corner protection, a large battery and a case that will withstand being dropped.

                As it stands these days, you buy a phone, take it out of the packaging, admire this thing of beauty and wonderous design then spend twenty minutes making sure it is completely clean before stuffing it into the armoured case where it will have to spend the rest of its days merely to ensure that the expensive thing remains undamaged.

      2. JimboSmith Silver badge
        Childcatcher

        One thing I've never understood is the obsession with showing off the Apple Logo. I don't mean by Apple I mean by the people using the products. I had someone on my team who dismissed a very nice case for their iPhone 6 because it didn't have a hole to show the logo on the back. She is then concerned about using it in some places because "People steal expensive Apple phones you know."*

        Now call me odd if you like but I cannot see why I should give companies free advertising of their products for them. I refuse to walk round in clothing plastered with the name of the brand for this reason. My phone is in a case that doesn't identify the maker of either the case or the phone. Now my bag does have the name of a company on it, it was the company who gave me the bag for free a couple of years ago. Quite prepared to do it if I get something for free and the company in question doesn't suck.

        *Years ago we did come up with a fun idea though to help prevent iPhone theft. It was a case that made your expensive iPhone 5S look like a 5C because we figured who'd want to steal a 5C?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "a $1,000 iPhone is your 'future'"

      As a colleague of mine said this morning that he replaces his phone at least every two years as the tech becomes "dated". He is a classic early adopter for new stuff and doesn't normally worry about the cost. However even he has balked at a $1000 and he's been a fan of the fruity firm for a while. He said that some people like him will buy the X just because it's the newest thing and (supposed to be the) best phone out there. However he also said that he had no doubt that some people will be put off by the price and won't fancy having the 8 as it's second best.

  3. J.Smith

    Corporate vision

    I'm signed up to their corporate visio... nightmare, well, one has to be social.

    Now, if only Facebook can co-opt other parts of public space, think how wonderful things could be.

  4. psychonaut

    Jumping Jesus h Johnny Ive steve Christing Jobs. Wireless charging. It's the future. And I'm living in it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's the future. And I'm living in it.

      Yep, I thought "Meh" as well. However, the startup tech houses for wireless charging that I had dealings with last year all expected that the new phone would have wireless charging, that it would be Qi compatible, but that it would have "better than everybody else's Qi" capability with the right chargers (larger charging mats, more powerful chargers, much less specific on placement of the phone to charge). I wonder if that's the delay in Apple's charging pads?

      Because of lead times on design and production, the phones were always going to have the silicon in for wireless charging, and the expectation was that if the "improved Apple version" wasn't working, it would be disabled in software, and nothing publicised about the boarded-off capability, and possibly it would be rolled out in a later OS launch with a flourish. Clearly they've gone with a mere Qi implementation, and that will amaze and delight the faithful. Whether they've cracked the problem of heat whilst charging I don't know, but if they haven't, then it won't do much for battery life.

    2. Wibble

      And they don't even give you a wireless charger for your £1000+

      No worse than a £4k MacBook not Pro not having a mains cable.

      We deserve all we get for putting up with this treatment.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        "We deserve all we get for putting up with this treatment."

        Who's this "we" of whom you speak?

  5. emmanuel goldstein

    IT'S TIME...

    Top tip for 2018: short AAPL.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: IT'S TIME...

      Enter 'AAPL' into Google, and look at the graph you find. Then cross reference that graph against comments like yours over that last decade. What do you see?

    2. TVU Silver badge

      Re: IT'S TIME...

      "Top tip for 2018: short AAPL".

      Actually, that is a valid point and not just for Apple but for other smartphone makers too. The days of great innovation are over, there's market saturation in the developed world and there's precious little to differentiate all these black, rectangular phones from each other.

  6. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge
    Trollface

    Genius Groves?

    Wow, that's even more branding Kool-Aid than Google swims in. They may envision something that looks like a gathering of enlightened Roman philosophers but it's going to be Troll Forest.

    1. Vector

      Re: Genius Groves?

      And this is a surprise how?

      Allow me to point you to:

      "FaceTime" (Hey! You can video chat

      ...as long as everyone has an iPhone)

      "Retina Display" (we had more pixels than anyone else! briefly)

      "Touch ID" (Look! we added a fingerprint scanner)

      Since I've never owned an iPhone, those are the only ones I can think of offhand.

      1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

        Re: Genius Groves?

        FaceTime - first mobile video calling that actually worked well.

        Retina Display - first truly high-res mobile display.

        TouchID - first mobile biometric scanner that actually worked well.

        The fact that these things are now standard, doesn't mean they weren't innovative.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Genius Groves?

          That is all complete nonsense.

          Retina display offered nothing other mobile display on high end android devices weren't already offering 6 months before. Apple but a idiot stamp on it so cretins could feel superior.

          TouchID didn't work work well, could be easily fooled (blutak), and was bought in component, already used in other non apple products.

          Facetime, are you for real? Skype existed on mobile at the same time as facetime... I know, as I remember a fellow iPhone owner trying to use it abroad and failing badly with disconnects and poor audio, and I showed the Skype connected to the same network working perfectly....

          1. werdsmith Silver badge

            Re: Genius Groves?

            The problem with these discussion is that nobody is actually claiming any innovation. People are accusing people of claiming innovation so that they have a reason to deride, but all Apple are claiming is that they have added these things to their phones. Even the fanboys know they are not new things these days.

            1. Naselus

              Re: Genius Groves?

              "The problem with these discussion is that nobody is actually claiming any innovation."

              Uh, I guess they must've misinterpreted the constant use of the word 'gamechanger' at every Apple event since 2002 as some kind of claim to have done something innovative.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Genius Groves?

                "Uh, I guess they must've misinterpreted the constant use of the word 'gamechanger'"

                It's perfectly correct, last year was tiddleywinks, this year is snakes and ladders.

        2. d3vy

          Re: Genius Groves?

          @lord elpuss

          "FaceTime - first mobile video calling that actually worked well"

          The first iteration of this required a WiFi connection and wouldn't work on a cellular connection. So it was either NOT mobile or didn't work well... You can't claim both.

          1. Dave 126 Silver badge

            Re: Genius Groves?

            I don't care whether a feature is innovative. I do care about how well it has been implemented, and how well it is integrated into the system as a whole.

      2. d3vy

        Re: Genius Groves?

        "Since I've never owned an iPhone, those are the only ones I can think of offhand."

        You forgot that time back in 2009 whenever copy and paste was a mind blowing innovation. Truly "magical"

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Genius Groves?

      "a gathering of enlightened Roman philosophers"

      Small point; there weren't any enlightened Roman philosophers. The Romans stuck to empire building and political mayhem, and they left philosophy, as it was then understood, to the Greeks.

      Which is probably why the Antikythera Mechanism had no successor until the 17th century AD.

  7. Andy Mac
    Windows

    Apple copying Microsoft?

    Well, they skipped the 9

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Apple copying Microsoft?

      ... and installed an inward-facing CEO to follow the one that actually built the business.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. VinceH

        Re: Apple copying Microsoft?

        Not to mention the fact my OCD screams at me every time I see that cut out at the top of the iPhoneX screen."

        Ah, you're referring to the 'Young Bruce Willis styling'.

    3. joed

      Re: Apple copying Microsoft?

      I made the same comment at work today. Now, the surprising bit to me is that they copied 8. I had assumed that they just skipped over the cursed version. We'll see about XIII

    4. julianh72

      Re: Apple copying Microsoft?

      "Well, they skipped the 9"

      And in other breaking news - next year's iteration won't be the "S" update, it'll be called the iPhone X "Creator's Update".

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Apple copying Microsoft?

        next year's iteration won't be the "S" update, it'll be called the iPhone X "Creator's Update"

        Brilliant idea. And, in next year's breathless marketingasm, they can rename the "Steve Jobs Theater" (tm) as "The Creator's Theater" (tm).

        I think that given the clear lack of real innovation since Jobs, they should next year start to really big-up the Steve legend. They could all wear robes (with a turtle-neck, of course), chant a catchy mantra about Steve The Creator. I say mantra, it'd obviously have to be a rap, by some well known but essentially untalented hip-hop star, to continue the myth that Apple have any relevance to youth culture.

        1. Aladdin Sane

          Re: Apple copying Microsoft?

          As any Whovian will tell you, you don't skip 9.

      2. Leigh Geary

        Re: Apple copying Microsoft?

        Indeed. They've effectively added some go-faster stickers on the iPhone 7 and called it the iPhone 8. Trouble is, the iPhone 8 is effectively now the iPhone SE for 2017. Full-on Apple fans won't really want it. It's the "make do" phone. They'll want the iPhone X, and best of all, Apple has cranked up the price on that. Insane genius marketing. You have to hand it to them.

        I did some tappy-tappy thing on the keyboard about it all here - http://www.coolsmartphone.com/2017/09/13/the-apple-launch-just-like-that-the-iphone-8-became-the-iphone-se/

    5. Updraft102

      Re: Apple copying Microsoft?

      "Apple copying Microsoft?

      Well, they skipped the 9"

      And calling it "X" for 10 brings up some none-too-happy memories of GWX.

      And the reply by AC:

      > ... and installed an inward-facing CEO to follow the one that actually built the business.

      ...who, in Microsoft's case, is trying to copy Apple and Google at every opportunity.

    6. WallMeerkat

      Re: Apple copying Microsoft?

      I'd assumed the X was some sort of nod to OSX integration

      But then they dropped the X from OSX and it is now known as MacOS.

      So I'm even more confused now.

    7. TVU Silver badge

      Re: Apple copying Microsoft?

      "Apple copying Microsoft?

      Well, they skipped the 9"

      I don't get the corporate hate for the number 9. Is it the new 13?

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