Re: Windows Update is unbelievably shit
>So what about KB3125574 bundle that's supposed to help?
It does! However, if you are starting from Win7 or Win7-SP1 then you have some preparatory tasks to perform...
This article gives a good overview to get your build up to May 2016:
http://www.howtogeek.com/255435/how-to-update-windows-7-all-at-once-with-microsofts-convenience-rollup/
However, I would take the advice given in the "recommendation suggestions" section of this post:
http://windows-update-checker.com/FAQ/ConvenienceRollupKB3125574-Issues.htm
and install any of the listed components, to save yourself work later...
But yes I agree MS have lost something in recent years, with NT, W2K, XP you only needed the SP's to get a new install reasonably uptodate...