back to article Smartwatches: I hate to say ‘I told you so’. But I told you so.

If you work in software, I’ll bet you worked on a project like this. It’s where dozens, or even hundreds of people are involved in the spec process, and what tumbles out is a monster that nobody ever wanted. The IA-432 processor, Intel’s first pre-Itanic disaster, was a classic example. It was a tabula rasa, and every …

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        1. Pascal

          Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

          > Or you could ditch the daft, geeky feature list and go with something sort of retro / steampunk. Maybe purely mechanical, with little gears and a way you could see them?......(looks at own wrist).

          May as well go full-blown crazy then: http://www.hytwatches.com/collection-h3/watch/h3-titanium-and-platinium-2/

          1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

            Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

            @Pascal - In the same breath: "Wow" but tempered with "Looks like something wound by wanking"

        2. Kernel

          Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

          "Or you could ditch the daft, geeky feature list and go with something sort of retro / steampunk. Maybe purely mechanical, with little gears and a way you could see them?......(looks at own wrist)."

          Or you could even put a glass window in both front and back so you can see the little gears from both sides - the glass could be protected with a couple of flip open covers, activated by pressing a little stem on the side of said device - hey, you could possibly even adapt the stem to be be a multipurpose case opening/power input/programming device. ....... (looks at own waist, heads for patent office).

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

            I think the problem with these small wrist attached clocks is still the power source. By the time the TCP stack and supporting firmware + a SIM card are all powered up so the wrist attached clock can continually poll an NTP server to make sure it's accurate then we're really back to square one. They'll never catch on. I'll just stay with the tried and tested method of having my butler carry the grandfather clock for me when I go out.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

      I consider my phone just an oversized pocket watch...

      Your point may have gone over my head. :P

    2. SW10
      Go

      Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

      The marketeers have just called. Can we have a range?

      Maybe start at black plastic functional and go right through to bejewelled precious-metal status symbols?

    3. werdsmith Silver badge

      Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

      I really don't think Smartwatches are supposed to be about the time, anymore than smartphones are about calling someone and speaking to them.

      1. energystar
        WTF?

        Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

        "Smartphones are [not] about calling someone and speaking to them."

        !!!

        Acute Confidence Breach.

        1. energystar
          Paris Hilton

          Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

          "Smartphones are [not] about calling someone and speaking to them."

          WHY & WHO has stolen our plain phones?

        2. herman

          Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

          Hmm, I rather like my steam age retro mechanical self winding watch. It tends to gain 3 minutes per day, and I am always on time for my meetings and everybody else is always late - lazy buggers...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

            I rather like my solar powered Citizen watch, self-charging and accurate and as precise as anything that is analogue. I'm not late for meetings but on time - doesn't cause resentment like that bugger who always turns up early and keep writtering on about that as if were a virtue or something.

            Mines the one with the Sundial in the pocket

          2. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

            Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

            It tends to gain 3 minutes per day

            Blimey! Regulate that sucker.

      2. energystar
        Childcatcher

        Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

        "I really don't think [an axe] is supposed to be "an implement that has been used for millennia to shape, split and cut wood; to harvest timber; as a weapon; and as a ceremonial or heraldic symbol".

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ax

    4. energystar
      Windows

      Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

      three bucks strap on will do

      1. energystar
        Windows

        Re: There is *something* somewhere ...

        Zero bucks sucks less. Look next to your battery charger on your next cell box. Here you are! Served on shinning silver plate.

  1. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

    I'd have to agree

    I was going to say a shock and waterproof Android fitness watch would be worth a punt, but I've just had a quick search on Amazon and found that decent running watches are much cheaper than last time I looked. fifty to seventy quid upwards, 8-10 hour battery life (GPS) or weeks (non GPS).

    Can't see the point going for an Android or Apple option unless it's the same price, and integrates well with other devices.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need a replacement for my Timex Indiglo runner's watch.

  2. phuzz Silver badge
    Facepalm

    "Give me a wearable that I didn't ever have to recharge, or only needed to recharge once a month, that cost under £20, and that gave reliable notifications of calls or messages received on my phone, and instantly gave me a zoomable map - and maybe then we're talking"

    That's not really the most realistic request now is it?

    But hey, if you find that magic infinite battery that never needs charging and costs less than £20, let me know, I might have a few uses for it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's called a radio-isotope thermo electric generator.

      Apple brand biological shielding will be an optional extra.

    2. Dave 126 Silver badge

      It would be perfectly possible - in fact, already done - if it wasn't for the map function. Citizen and Casio make Bluetooth watches for notifications, both with over a year's battery life.

      The map too would be possible, if it is slaved to a phone for (A)GPS/WiFi location (the latter of more use in cities). You don't need a colour screen for maps.

      Really though, you don't need a graphical map for navigation, you just need a hint to turn left at the next street or whatever. Heck, this could be done with a analogue watch face - either by re-purposing the hands, or by using a ring of otherwise hidden LEDs.

      1. Unep Eurobats

        Re: Watch navigation by re-purposing the hands

        "It's either quarter to nine or I need to turn left."

        1. Valerion

          Re: Watch navigation by re-purposing the hands

          "It's either quarter to nine or I need to turn left."

          Or, indeed, both.

      2. AlanB

        > Hint to turn left .. ring of LEDs

        Sort of wrist mounted equivalent of https://www.smarthalo.bike/ ? That might work. Not that I'm totally convinced by the SmartHalo, even though riding a bike obviously is a case where "why not just take your phone out of your pocket and look at it" isn't that convenient.

        (Another is swimming. Not for maps/navigation, but with my glasses off I can't read a clock on a pool wall. I haven't actually tested the swim lap counter app on my Pebble original (£50, charge once a week) yet, but it was one reason for buying it.)

    3. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      "Give me a wearable that I didn't ever have to recharge, or only needed to recharge once a month, that cost under £20, and that gave reliable notifications of calls or messages received on my phone, and instantly gave me a zoomable map - and maybe then we're talking"

      Apart from the maps and data coming from what some would now call "the cloud"; that is pretty much what my pager did. I believe there were some which had graphical LCDs which could show stock price graphs so could probably show maps.

      We are currently in that phase where there is a premium cost to a smart watch and it's expected to have functionality to justify that cost and also a limit to technology which can extend battery life at the size required. And we won't be solving those problems unless there can be shown to be a return on such investment.

      We are really looking at technology in its formative stage and still figuring out where it can go or should go. Same too for IoT in general. There are bound to be missteps along the way until we hit that magic sweet spot of what people want at a price they are prepared to pay.

      It is rare for anyone to get it right first time. Not even Apple, who have the advantage of an audience which is prepared to pay for the brand.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    how to make it useful

    Holographic interface and monitoring of the blood stream without drawing blood.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: how to make it useful

      It should also have a HUD to show my current health, ammo and mana levels.

      1. Seajay#

        Re: how to make it useful

        Monitoring the bloodstream without drawing blood. Yep, optical heartrate sensor is out there on several fitness watches.

        HUD to show current health. Yep, resting heartrate is a pretty good measure of health. Very usefully it's even a leading indicator of coming down with a cold / ebola.

        I've never seen the point of smart watches but recently bought a Garmin Vivoactive HR. I love it for running but the notifications feature of it (ie the bit which is similar to a smart watch) is even less useful than I thought it would be.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: how to make it useful

          No, not a heartrate. I want blood pressure, tox screen, cancer detection. The works.

          1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

            Re: how to make it useful

            Blood sugar. Pulse rate. Blood pressure.

            In order of importance (to me).

  4. hp

    "Give me a wearable that I didn't ever have to recharge, or only needed to recharge once a month, that cost under £20, and that gave reliable notifications of calls or messages received on my phone, and instantly gave me a zoomable map - and maybe then we're talking"

    I'd be happy if I could have a smartphone that does this for £20.....

    Does no one remember when the first iphone came out and how everyone laughed that anyone would buy a phone that couldn't even last a week on one charge and was so huge?

    I think if you can have one that lasts 2.5 days between charges with reasonable use, lets you make calls/texts/check email, has GPS built in and the ability to run apps/make enough sound to act as a satnav, looks good and sells for <£200 it will sell well. It seems like everyone I know that runs/cycles/tri club thinks the 'right' price point has been reached for GPS sports watch type things at £80-300 and either has, or wants something like the tomtom runner2 music(UK£189), and if they can sell the tomtom without the apps facility/email/text/phone calls then an iwatch type thing with added sim card/gps (surely this will happen in the next 2 iterations) will really sell.

    1. Boothy

      Pebbles (other than the ultra thin versions) last 7+ days on one charge, and only take about 30 mins to fully charge again. (Even the thin ones last around 2+ days).

      But they do try to keep the Pebble simple, no NFS, no GPS, no speaker etc. (Although it does have a mic for dictation). If they added all that, you'd likely be down to charging every day or two again.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        > But they do try to keep the Pebble simple, no NFS, no GPS, no speaker etc.

        No NFS? How am I going to browse the files stored on it?

        Actually there could be a use case there. If you store all your files in the cloud, but "the cloud" is actually a device you wear on your wrist, then the cloud goes everywhere with you - and the privacy concerns are gone.

        You can get 1TB of SSD in an M.2 card, so making it watch-sized shouldn't take too long.

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          No NFS? How am I going to browse the files stored on it?

          You use the Evernote app of course!

        2. Boothy

          Oops, NFC of course!

          Been setting up a NAS, me thinks the TLA got stuck!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      They now sell Android phones for £20... so I think we have what you want. Some phones will last a long time on one charge, but you need to turn off all data/wifi, possibly airplane mode at night (your sleeping, do you want a call?) :P

      So a £20 phone and a big powerbank/solar* charger and you off.

      *For a months use on one charge it might be more expensive than £20!

  5. Peter 26

    Still useful, just not as much as they thought

    They are aiming too high, hopefully things will calm down when the novelty wears off. We just want a simple display and buttons so we can read notifications and tell the time. Advanced features would be a gyro (for maps), touch screen (for zooming maps) and heart rate monitor.

    We need a chip that does it pretty much all and let the watch manufacturers build the actual watches, maybe they can make something pretty and the price will be more reasonable.

    1. Thecowking

      Re: Still useful, just not as much as they thought

      That's basically the pebble, excepting the touch screen.

      I'm on my second pebble and as much as I love my Citizen Ecodrive, I always feel a bit disappointed when I wear it and then I can't check notifications on it,

  6. Dave 126 Silver badge

    A touch-screen isn't a great solution for a watch. It would be better to have:

    - A rotating bezel, that can double as a D-pad,

    - Capacitive sensors in the strap, above and below the face.

    Both of these options allow familiar interactions (up, down, left, right, scroll, enter) without obscuring the screen.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      There is the pebble route - you don't need a fully functional smartphone UI on a watch. Just a back button, a select button - and up and down.

      To make it more intuitive, you have back on the left - and select on the right (middle button)... up and down either side of that.

      Their "time ui" works really well with this - select on the main watch screen takes you to a menu, down shows you a list of your upcoming appointments, up gives you previous / missed appointments.

      You can short-cut actions too for long presses of buttons, so going into music control app, or showing your notifications etc.

      I get Orlowski's points about smartwatches being huge, over engineered and too complicated - but something like the pebble steel isn't any of those things. It's not £300, it's not any bigger than a normal watch, there isn't a complicated UI, and it's not got gps etc in there. Oh, the battery lasts 7 days (and it really does, not a theoretical estimate) - and it takes minutes to fully charge, not over night. Because it isn't a TFT strapped to your wrist, it is well disguised as a normal watch too.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I have to say...

        Seeing others use the Pebble Steel and an iWatch, the PS won by a mile and was less than half the price. :D

    2. energystar
      Joke

      Just start making 'monkey' gestures. Your 'watch' understand you. Those around don't.

      1. energystar
        Joke

        You already know how to make a 'double click'.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Screw the smartwatches...

    there are projects like this https://hackaday.com/tag/f-91w/

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Screw the smartwatches...

      Haha, that's lovely! To save you other guys having to read through the link, here's the gist:

      Pluto is a programmable digital watch that re-uses case and LCD panel of the Casio® F-91W*. This is the hardware repo, for the software side of things, see pluto-fw. Looking for pictures? There you go.

      Features:

      Displays time in decimal/binary/hexadecimal base

      Multiple alarms

      Multiple countdown timers

      Uses RTTTL ringtones for alarm sound

      Stopwatch

      Compass (WIP)

      Generation of time-based one-time passwords according to RFC 6238 (WIP)

      Menu-driven interface

      Infrared receiver for software updates and TOTP secret transfer (WIP)

      Useless customisation (Key beep frequency, etc.)

      approx. 1 year battery life (estimate based on current consumption)

      * You know the one. It's the Casio 'Terrorist' watch, commonly seen on young folk near you. Its nickname came from the idea that if you were writing a time-bomb construction manual, you would choose a cheap, reliable, and easily available timepiece. Alas for the US authorities who started the story, possession of a F-91W is about as much use as a proxy for 'terrorist' as possessing a beard.

  8. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Stop

    Actually, the jokes about fob watches ....

    I can actually see a space in the market for a wearable like an old stylee fob watch.

    *Wrist* watches were developed for use in WW1 in response to a need ...

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Actually, the jokes about fob watches ....

      Except you might as well just get your phone out of your pocket.....

      1. Tom 7

        Re: Actually, the jokes about fob watches ....

        Except you might as well just get your phone out of your pocket.....

        You really do not understand the statement that can be made by spinning a watch around on a chain.

        I intend to get micro:bit so I can chain one to my jacket so when I whip it out and spin it round it writes "Well that was fucking pointless!" in the air as it spins.

        1. AMBxx Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Actually, the jokes about fob watches ....

          You could always just put your phone on a chain.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Pint

            Re: Actually, the jokes about fob watches ....

            any old iron, any old iron, any any old iron

        2. fijired2

          Re: Actually, the jokes about fob watches ....

          Careful where you swing that thing, you don't want to go starting a storm and filling all the rivers with water...

  9. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Serious Dick Tracy cosplay aside - I just can't find a reason, any reason, to buy a smartwatch. And I buy a lot of gadgets.

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