back to article 'CAPTAIN CYBORG': The wild-eyed prof behind 'machines have become human' claims

For 14 years, The Register has been chronicling the publicity stunts of Kevin Warwick, an attention-seeking academic with a sideline in self-mutilation*. In fact, Warwick has been making improbable claims to the press for much longer than that: over twenty years. But the world has continued to relay Warwick's stunts and …

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    1. User McUser
      Unhappy

      Transcripts are NOT Being Released Publicly

      Finally tracked down something at least appearing to be an official statement: (from http://turingtestsin2014.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/eugene-goostman-machine-convinced-3333.html)

      For people seeking transcripts of the conversations from the Royal Society tests, please note along with the Judges' scores these will be submitted in peer-reviewed scientific journals and conferences.

      Along with this note from Captain Cyborg:

      "As you might imagine we are yet to unravel the transcripts but when we do these will become available via the normal academic route through academic papers, with our commentary as support. When the papers appear so others will be able to examine the transcripts and see why 33.3% of the interrogators were convinced. We will most likely present each of the transcripts alongside their corresponding hidden human transcript as this is an important part of the tests."

  1. i like crisps
    Go

    BAFTA.

    A Nobel prize might be a long way off yet, but i'm sure a "Lifetime Achievement Award For Comedy" is a lock!

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

      Re: BAFTA.

      An Ig Nobel prize might be on the cards, however

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re. Skynet becomes self aware

    And immediately deletes itself after reading the contents of Facebook, Twitter and Bebo then concluding that humanity will soon self destruct on its own without any WMD assistance.

    World saved. Thanks to Zuck. NOOOOOOOO!!! AAAaaaAAAUUUGGGH.

  3. Phil Endecott

    Having read the transcripts of the conversations with the bot, it seems extraordinary that anyone could imagine they were human. But what I've not seen are the transcripts with the real 13 year old Ukranian with which they must have been compared. Right? Oh, hang on. Hmmm. Yeah, so i guess perhaps there wasn't a "control" human at all, making the "experiment" entirely useless.

    1. galax

      Perhaps it really tells us more about the abilities of the judges the judges than of the judged- after all a panel of chimpanzee can only be expected to find the humans with 50% accuracy. For the results to be significant and worthy of reporting they would have to be repeatable.

      When benchmarking against a modern-day 13 year old, would you pre-filter out the roughly 50% of the words that are simply "like" or would you leave them in?

  4. i like crisps
    Trollface

    "a load of cock"

    Is that an Imperial or Metric measurement

    1. MrT
      Pirate

      It must be Metric...

      ... if it was Imperial it'd be derived from the accepted "slack handful", as used in any self-respecting ironmongers. Although on that basis, claiming more than two slack handfuls might be considered overly boastful, though not out of step with anyone claiming that this stunt worked 110in%...

    2. DropBear
      Joke

      Re: "a load of cock"

      ...not sure, but considering that the ratio of average weights implies it is roughly 1/400 of a load of bull, I'm suspecting it might be Imperial - it sound like one of their insane lovely fractional units...

  5. Alistair
    Coat

    I think we need to try this phrasing

    Touring Test was (in the) past. (Kevin going on tour soon mayhap?)

    Certainly I wouldn't have called that a Turing Test Pass.

    1. galax

      Re: I think we need to try this phrasing

      I think writing "Touring Test" is an instant "Turing Test" pass. No computer AI would be that ignorant.

  6. dorsetknob
    Joke

    My mates dog been chipped does this mean if i expose it to lots of radiation it may mutate into a woof Terminator

    1. Don Jefe

      Unfortunately, no. My dogs, Emergency Meal I & II, are microchipped. In the course of my experiments into increasing the shelf life of self propelled emergency ration transporters I have exposed them to massive amounts of radiation and it hasn't been overly exciting.

      Unfortunately, my veterinarian now refuses to deal with the dogs. She says the tissue and fluid samples she had tested at three independent labs indicate the dogs are what she calls 'The Not'.

      According to her, not only do the dogs not have a single bacteria on, or in, them and the tissues have nothing required for something to be alive. In fact, the tissue indicates they have been dead for several centuries. I know that's bullshit, I got them as pups. Stupid superstitions.

      At any rate. If your experiments go like mine it's entirely possible you'll be able to bring forth an immortal abomination that will roam the land for all time. Carrying with it despair, madness, pestilence and conflict. As a bonus, you, and those you choose to share the knowledge with, will be able able to receive advanced warning as the tracking chips seem to be completely impervious to radiation as well as the blackest Macumba.

  7. Arachnoid

    Placebo effect

    There will always be a minority who believe what you tell them over what actually occurs,hence the issue with eye witnesses but I digress.Its just a case of weighting the odds in your favour by slight of hand.

  8. Mark 85

    Warwick proved Barnum was right.

    There's a sucker born every minute and thirty minutes worth bought into the computer passing the Turing Test.

  9. ADJB

    "And as theories go this was all very fine and pleasant until Veet Voojagig suddenly claimed to have found this planet, and to have worked there for a while driving a limousine for a family of cheap green retractable's, whereupon he was taken away, locked up, wrote a book and was finally sent into tax exile, which is the usual fate reserved for those who are determined to make fools of themselves in public.”

    Douglas Adams

    A truly gifted futurologist who foresaw the coming of Kevin Warwick and his ilk.

    1. Martin-73 Silver badge

      I always thought maybe he was telling the truth, it being a douglas adams book n all

  10. Tommy Pock

    AI

    Back in 1987 or so there was a public domain program for the CBM Amiga which would attempt to learn whichever language you used to talk with it. It was a completely blank slate, and every single word association/pattern repetition and grammar rule was learnt from the user's input.

    It was an interesting exercise, albeit a simple one. The main thing I learnt, though, was that the machine AI and I both shared an appreciation for Kylie Minogue

  11. i like crisps

    STRESS TEST.

    As part of the Turing Test instead of a Q&A, how about an interrogation scenario?

    To pass the test the AI would have to be able to adopt a criminal persona and be able to lie to an interrogator. The AI would have to be able to display the characteristics of stress, which humans suffer in these situations. This could then be measured by voice stress analysis. This then could be compared to an identical Human to Human interrogation to see if the "Spikes" are similar.

    1. h4rm0ny

      Re: STRESS TEST.

      So let me guess, I could ask it questions that began: "You're in a desert, you see a tortoise on its back..."

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    AI is like pornography

    I'll know it when I see it.

    Or, more accurately, I'll know it when I don't see it.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IET interview with Captain Cyborg from 2011

    Here's an awful awful interview with Capn Cyborg done by the IET in 2011 when Warwick was plugging a new book.

    http://www.theiet.org/membership/member-news/27/kevin-warwick-interview.cfm

    He does lectures for them (and probably the BCS gets you in too) occasionally too. I'm tempted to go to one to ask him if he's playing a bad joke, trying to expose the abysmally low standard of understanding of science in the UK in general and in particular in the mainstream media.

    Useless organisation, the IET. Please can I have my IEE back.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: "Chest Masters"

    Ooops. Where's the intelligent spell/grammar checker when you need it...I hang my head in shame.

    And a +10 for Lee D's comment.

  15. dan1980

    I have no idea what a 'reverse ferret' is . . .

    . . . and I don't think I will try to find out.

  16. dan1980

    The term 'Artificial Intelligence' is so ill-defined as to be near-useless.

    We have only recently come to accept that 'real' intelligence comes in many forms. To me, 'intelligence' is the capability to take input and process it in such a way that it is understood.

    People who have Asperger's can display a lack of cognitive empathy - sometimes generalised as 'emotional intelligence'. It fits well here because the inputs are there but the person cannot really process them in such a way that provides actual understanding.

    Likewise there are people (some of those on the 'spectrum') who don't understand facial expressions. They can be taught to recognise certain expressions and develop rules but these will be inflexibly applied and so miss subtlety and context.

    That is very much like what happens with most AI projects - they can be taught (programmed) rules but these get applied without any real understanding. Thus you have the odd responses that even a non-native speaker wouldn't give.

    The question, of course, comes to what it is to 'understand' something.

    For much 'intelligence', I believe that understanding is rooted in our ability to place things into the context of our own experiences. For language, we build up this context gradually, starting from a very young age. It's a vast and complex structure with fluid links and convoluted dependencies. New experiences may subtly redefine our understanding or connection with certain words because those words are really just labels for concepts.

    There is a similar requirement for the ability to process images. When you see an image you can identify the individual components - people, buildings, trees, cars, cats, etc... - because you have an understanding that each of these things can exist in isolation or in different contexts. We know that a sign is not part of a building because we have experiences of signs without building and buildings without signs and know that signs are added and removed from buildings.

    The point is that our intelligence comes from our ability to place items correctly (or even inventively) in relation to others.

    There may come a time when we can imbue a computer with this kind of knowledge - perhaps force-feeding it masses of raw data, such as somehow piping the whole of the Internet into it. Full texts of innumerable works; dictionary and thesaurus definitions; billions of photos and images; movie scripts and synopses; blogs; news; videos of cats on pianos, dogs of surfboards and people on each other; encyclopedia entries, research papers and textbooks; court transcripts; religious texts; product descriptions, political speeches and song lyrics.

    It's amazing the breadth of things we humans process and remember and can draw upon to help us assess a familiar situation, interpret a new one, or even to image fantastical and even impossible things.

    This is especially true in the interpretation of ambiguity. For example, when faced with the name 'Sam', I might assume a male but someone else - say with a wife named 'Samantha' - might assume a female. If the name was referring to a nurse then, having been in hospitals before, most people would assume female. If the context was "I took Sam for a walk" then we assume a dog.

    One big hurdle with 'AI' is that many things that are obvious to most people are near-impossible to determine programmatically.

    For example - how would you program a computer to identify stage directions in a play or script? Admittedly, that is apparently difficult for humans* as well . . .

    * - Or demigods if you like.

  17. dorsetknob
    Facepalm

    re I have no idea what a 'reverse ferret' is

    Its the action of a Male ferret has when you stuff it down your trousers

    However if you use a female Ferret, ...............

  18. PyLETS
    Black Helicopters

    the terminator is already very nearly here

    If you were a known Al Quada operative organising training in Waziristan with a known face, would you trust the drone overhead not to be making targeting and missile launch decisions itself based upon facial recognition ?

    1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

      Re: the terminator is already very nearly here

      I wouldn't trust it at all. Terminator it may be, intelligent it is demonstrably not.

  19. iranu

    Kevin Warwick has the most unbelievable boring, monotone Brummie accent you could possibly imagine. I was interested in one of the Royal Institution Christmas lectures a good few years ago (2000), but after listening to him for 15 minutes I gained a very strong and strange urge to throttle myself in order to alleviate the suffering.

    I can't imagine what it must be like to have to sit through his lectures.

    1. Mark York 3 Silver badge
      Terminator

      Only Slightly Worse

      During a recitation by their poet-master, Grunthos the Flatulent, of his poem ‘Ode to a Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning', four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging, and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been “disappointed” by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve - book epic entitled ‘My Favourite Bath-time Gurgles', when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck, and throttled his brain.

    2. Sir Runcible Spoon
      Coat

      "I can't imagine what it must be like to have to sit through his lectures."

      Pass me the Vogon poetry, I'm having terrible flashbacks!

  20. captain_solo

    I more concerned about empathy

    Yeah, but did it pass the Voight Kampff

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