back to article Eddie Murphy heading for worst movie ever glory

Eddie Murphy looks a dead cert for the Razzies and possibly the worst movie ever award as critics queue up to give his A Thousand Words a righteous shoeing. The movie currently rates 0% on Rotten Tomatoes "Tomatometer", based on 42 reviews. The website summarises the plot thus: Eddie Murphy is Jack McCall, a fast-talking …

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  1. King Jack
    Trollface

    Shrek

    True Murphy's acting career has tanked but do remember that he is the voice of Donkey in the Shrek movies. Maybe he should stick to doing just voices.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Eddie Murphy in shit film

    it's not exactly news is it?

  3. Vetis

    So Eddie Murphy is the new Steve Martin?

    1. bob's hamster

      At least Steve Martin can play the Banjo.

      1. Armando 123

        "At least Steve Martin can play the Banjo."

        Which is another point for Eddie Murphy.

      2. /dev/me

        Re: At least Steve Martin can play the Banjo.

        You know the definition of a 'gentleman'?

        Someone who can play the banjo, but doesn't.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      But Isn't Steve Martin Dead ?

      Well, it looks like Eddie is hot on his heals...

      As his carrier is certainly looking like it...

      I wonder what his next Disney Role will be?

      (i get the feeling this role should have gone to Jim Carey, as he can Act;)

  4. x2uk
    Thumb Down

    The worst film in the history of the universe is Legally Blonde 2. I was forced to endure it once on a transatlantic flight, and it's the only film I've ever watched which made me feel both mentally and physically sick to the very core of my being. Quite apart from the unimaginably banal storyline, horrendous characters, and the complete lack of anything even vaguely interesting on screen (at one point I resorted to playing the 'would you?' game out of sheer desperation and by the end the score was still at zero, extras included). The worst part was that someone somewhere decided to make that film, and some other people agreed with them and between them all they created something that if it was utterly erased from history the world wouldn't even be a better place, it would just dissipate like a fart in a gale, unnoticed and unmissed. Thanks for reminding me of that terrible experience El Reg, I thought I'd filed that one away with all the other bits of my wasted life but you've managed to drag it back out to turn my stomach anew.

    1. Goldmember

      "mentally and physically sick to the very core of my being"

      If you think that's bad, you should try watching the utter dog shit that is Bride Wars. My girlfriend made me watch that in the CINEMA, no less. At least on a flight you can unplug your earphones and go to sleep, or stare at the floor for a couple of hours. There's no escape when you're faced with surround sound, big screen twoddle of epic proportions.

      I thought I'd never be able to watch another film again in my life. Luckily, years of therapy have helped.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You mean you never saw Speed 2?

      Now that was a crapfest of biblical proportions.

  5. Swarthy

    Worst movie

    And no Reference to "Manos: The Hands of Fate"?

    Pish.

    1. jason 7
      FAIL

      Re: Worst movie

      I saw that a decent complete print of that movie was found last year. They are currently restoring it to full HD.

      After seeing some clips I would have burnt it.

    2. Armando 123
      Unhappy

      Re: Worst movie

      My thoughts exactly. I've never wanted to hurt a movie back, and that was with Joel and the 'bots' MST3K treatment softening the blow. Seen in the raw, I can't even imagine.

    3. Michael Hawkes
      Happy

      Re: Worst movie

      As MST3K noted, Manos is Spanish for Hands, so the title can be translated as "Hands: The Hands of Fate" Hilarious movie, despite that.

  6. DAN*tastik
    Paris Hilton

    I will have to watch it

    Everytime a film is classified as the worst ever, I feel compelled to buy the DVD ( maybe not at full price, I can wait a few years )

    Let me tell you, if there is one thing that will never gather dust in my flat is "The hottie and the nottie". I am sure there will be a remake of it soon. Hopefully with exactly the same actors and plot.

    1. jason 7

      Re: I will have to watch it

      Rent it from the local library for £2 instead.

      Dont pay any more for it.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      Re: I will have to watch it

      The House of Wax remake was better - at least there you got to see Paris Hilton getting skewered to death.

      PH 'cause I want to skewer her to death.

  7. jason 7
    Meh

    My personal nomination....

    ...is Batman & Robin.

    However, I do remember sitting in the cinema watching Unbreakable.

    I broke the cardinal rule of speaking during a screening which I had never done before and now only reserve for telling noisy teenagers to "shut up or f*** off!". About 70% of the way through I just felt compelled to say out loud - "Is anything actually meant to happen in this film?"

    The audience burst out laughing and a few clapped. Dirge!

    I haven't watched an Eddie Murphy movie in years.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Eat Pray Love

    Vomit

    [thanks to Dr K]

  9. Greg J Preece

    Worst movie I've ever seen? Well, I own copies of Battlefield Earth, Sword for Truth *and* the animated Titanic films, so they would definitely qualify.

    Most hated film? Terminator 3, hands down, no contest. Not just because it was an unnecessary cash-in, not just because it was a horrendously shit experience, but because of what it ruined, and how big a part of my childhood that ruined thing was.

    Fuck you, Mostow. Fuck you.

    1. DrXym

      I liked T3. It was a blatant cash-in but it had a pretty clever ending with a "you can't change the future" thing going on. Terminator Salvation was crap though.

      1. Wize

        T3 was ok

        T4 Blew goats.

        They even forgot how music worked. They reused the old Terminator score, dropped all the instruments except the base hammering out a repeated phrase.

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: T3 was ok No it wasn't, except for:

          This 'deleted scene':

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kayFrIR-Qfw

          They should have kept this scene and deleted the rest of the movie!

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kayFrIR-Qfw

          T1 Good Stuff

          T2 Brilliant, more polished, original story picked up, turned on its head and then put perfectly to bed. Plus a mini gun.

          ----------------------

          Neither T1 or T2 pushed the basic premise beyond its limits. The Matrix worked well for the same reason. If they were ever to make a sequel to The Matrix then I'm sure it would push its premise too far, and thus fail.

    2. Greg J Preece

      What's wrong with you guys? OK, T4 was horrible too, but T3 was atrocious. The mind-numbing and completely pointless action scenes. The total lack of an explanation for why the narrative has continued. The lack of an explanation for the presence of yet another T-800 model 101. The complete pussification and sidelining of John Connor, a dude who was previously the coolest 10 year old alive. The bullshit explanation of why Sarah isn't around (her actress knew this was going to be shite).

      They make gay bar jokes with a Terminator, and turn him into a comic character more than once. No, no no no no no. The Terminator in the original film was big, sinister and fucking deadly. Even in T2, he softens over time, but in the beginning he's death incarnate. He'll make you shit your pants just to steal your sunglasses. He comes across as a threat, and you believe it when Sarah tries to destroy him. In T3, they take that same character and put him in Elton John shades.

      HA HA FUCKING HA. Prick.

      That's not to forget the other supposed walking killing machine in the movie: the fembot, an early prototype for a Michael Bay transformer. Oh yes, this is going to conquer the fucking world. Inflatable tits and skintight leather are required for that, are they? And the remote-control nanobots? BULLSHIT. The T-800's power-core going nuclear just so we can have another explosion? BULLSHIT.

      I'm going to stop here before I hyperventilate (again). God, I hate that fucking film. The ending was the one thing that came near to a saving grace, but by that point I was so full of rage I was ripping the arms off the cinema seat and frothing at the mouth.

      1. Timothy Slade
        Terminator

        I don't even think the ending was that clever.

        Oooh skynet was software and it tooks over teh webz.

        meh.

        How does that give it a manufacturing base?

        How does that give it the sorts of advanced robotics needed to start producing killing machines?

        If it's running on people's home pcs, then a power cut will cripple it.

        laem laem laem.

        But, yes, absolutely, John Connor turning from a badass into a wimp was the desecration of a childhood hero.

        And the nanobots, and their totally patchy application. Why did the walking fleshlight bother to pull over when the cop stopped her for running the junction? she could have just taken control of his car and crashed it. If she could make a flamethrower of her arm, why couldn't she make a jet, and fly to John Connor and land on him at high speed.

        Fail all round.

      2. Bassey

        Re: Greg J Preece

        I agree with most of what you say but not that this makes it a "worst film". All of that just adds up to a bad personal experience and most of that is just because you watched the originals as a kid. If you get that upset every time hollywood screws around with things you're gonna spend a lot of time in therapy.

        Star Wars - Phantom Menace did the same thing for a lot of us in our 30s/40s but that doesn't make it a "Worst Film". Pretty bad, yes, but by Hollywood standards by no means an absolute stinker (and I recently had the "joy" of being dragged to the new 3D release by my Star Wars obsessed 5-year-old so the pain is still all too fresh).

    3. Timothy Slade
      Terminator

      Reading this nearly bought a tear to my eye.

      Terminator and Terminator 2 were huge, for me, as a teen.

      The way that T2 took themes from the original and added depth and meaning, and dealt (albeit briefly) with the emerging psychology of the machines was awesome.

      T3 took a huge dump all over all of that.

      Maybe not the worst film ever, but you've certainly got my vote for most hated and despised.

  10. yoinkster

    There are many bad films, but most of the bad films are bad because they either star nobodies or have the budget of a pub session.

    The worst film that was a real film that I've ever seen is 2012. Apart from the flying giraffe (or was it a rhino?) 2012 is abysmal.

    Maybe though the people involved in this film wanted it to be bad so they could get the press coverage and get people to buy it "to see how bad it is"? Can't say that's all that bad a marketing strategy if you ask me.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Budget and "stars" don't make good movies.

      Spending lot of money does not compensate for bad direction, poor editing, rubbish scripts and the biggest problem with Hollywood; that being a total lack of imagination and originality.

      T3 was rubbish, “2012” was tedious rubbish (like pretty much every disaster movie ever made), War or the Worlds (with T.C.) was rubbish, tedious and annoying, last 3 star-wars! etc...

      The last Bond film was bad, but made far worse by the ridiculous editing; what is the point of staging big fight scenes, then editing it so you cannot see what is happening?

      Good films start with a good script, that script needs a good director who can plan out how they will show it to us, and get good performances from the cast and crew...

      CGI/Special effects should only be there to help tell the story, they are not a substitute for one. Unfortunately most of the dross coming out of Hollywood these days is all CGI/3D/HD remakes and boring as hell.

  11. CADmonkey
    Unhappy

    To loosely quote the man himself:

    "Eddie are you worried that you're not funny anymore?"

    "I stopped worrying about that about $80million ago"

    Watch Delirious - there's a man trying to make a living. Funniest show 14yo me had ever seen

    Watch Raw - there's a man who has made it - Meh

  12. Anonymous Coward 15
    Alien

    Plan 9

    even got an operating system named after it:

    http://plan9.bell-labs.com/plan9/index.html

    1. Goat Jam
      Thumb Up

      Re: Plan 9

      Robot Monster was far worse (better)

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robot_Monster

  13. 0laf
    Mushroom

    Unbreakable was utter bilge.

    About Schmitt is the only film I've ever come close to walking out of after paying actual money to see.

    Fantastic Four - Silver surfer, really really crap only saved from the bottom of the pit by Jessica Alba in a really really tight outfit

    Anything by Ewe Boll

    Terminator Salvation was a terrible disappointment, ruined by bloody batman

    Resident Evil 4, I've no idea why I rented it, it was really awful.

    There are many many crap films out there that are less entertaining than Plan 9. Compared to a lot of them Plan 9 really isn't that bad.

    1. L.B.

      I got lucky with Unbreakable...

      The projector broke down about 2/3rds through and I got my money back!

      I eventually watched it a few years later on TV just to see if it got any better after that point; It didn't.

    2. PT

      Walking Out

      I've walked out of two movies that I paid for. One was 'Jubilee', long ago. The other, more recently, was 'Temptation of the Christ'. I can't even believe I paid to walk in to that one. I desperately wanted to walk out of 'God Save The Queen', but I stuck it to the bitter end because my girlfriend like the Pistols (it didn't work out). As for the other turkeys cited here, having paid attention to the reviews I didn't pay to see any of them at the theater, so walking out was not an option.

  14. bobbles31
    Flame

    Worst film of all time

    Transformers

    As the credits rolled I actually shouted at each persons name as it rolled by...HE DID A SHIT JOB! SHE DID A SHIT JOB!

    The script, score, special effects, editing, makeup, acting, everything about that movie sucked.

    Talk about ruining a much loved childhood franchise.

    </froth>

    ...............................................................................................It's the red one down here.

  15. Graham Bartlett

    Worst film ever

    I presume from the nominations for worst film that no-one has seen Green Lantern?

    Tescos were having a special on DVDs, and it was £3. I thought "hey, if it's crap then at least it's no more expensive than renting it for a night". Wrong - it's also cost me a couple of hours of my life. Kept watching, thinking "Somewhere along the line it's got to have something neat happen - even Transformers: Dark of the Moon managed that." But no...

  16. GitMeMyShootinIrons

    Megashark vs. crocosaurus.

    Sharktopus

    Twilight.

    At least the first two were funny.

    1. L.B.

      If you're going start counting SyFy TV movies, we'll be here all day!

      They are cheap and the effects are nasty, but at least they don't expect you to hand over £~10 to watch it, at least after a few beers they are good for giggle.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Worst film ever? JET starring Keiffer Sutherland!

    KS plays a alcoholic air traffic controller who has guide a plane safely down! Riveting stuff!

    The budget must have been about $25 and a lot of borrowed back rooms at the local supermarket! In 90 minutes you see HS's work station, his managers desk and the stairwell, of course bear in mind the entire thing is shot at night and in the dark to add even more drama but makes it look even more cheap! Oh and some very poorly filmed and obviously cheaply licensed shots of planes taxing on nighttime runways!

    I actually sat through the entire thing and regretted the time wasted what should have been a clue, the £2.99 I wasted on the DVD!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm...

    I've got high hopes that "Iron Sky" will be the worst film ever made.

    For those that don't know of Iron Sky, all you need to know is: Space Nazis return to Earth!

    What's not to like? Nothing

    What's the chances it will be good: None.

    1. Stu Pid

      Re: Hmm...

      I don't think you can put a privately funded and produced movie in the same league as stuff that comes out of Hollywood. Given the fan funding context it actually doesn't look that bad from what I've seen.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hmm...

      HEY!, IRONSKY Rocks

      At least they got to Finish ;p the movie properly.

      It's currently doing the rounds (pre-screeners) across Europe atm.

      The graphics should be pretty good, considering the budget they had.

      (or didn't, its amazing how well the graphics have come along sing Babylon 5 (over 15 years ago) with zillions of Amiga's all fitted out with Toasters)

      The Soundtrack is really good :)) at the very least that will be the highlight of the movie, along with the deliberately hammy acting (they actually got a few real actors (some are professional actors as well;)

      Based on their previous 2 movies this one should be very good.

      They were definitely worth downloading (check them out online for free.) (ok i they were utter turkeys, but at least they did try thier best (before Paramount and a few other movie companies blew a fuse about copyright)

      [ Yes i admit it i have very low standards when it comes to Movies, but then i used to love watching Plan-9 and similar B-Movies on BBC2 late at night in the 80's and loved them:)

      Of all the Movies that have come out in the last 20 years, This one is one i will definitely go to watch, if they get a general cinema release, lets hope they do.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hmm...

        http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/markkermode/2012/03/kermode_uncut_iron_sky.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

        even Mark Kermode likes it...

        though he did mention Troma movies, is anyone old enough on here to remember those Turkeys from the early 80's

  19. John70

    Basically...

    ... what you're all saying is that Hollywood just produces crap these days.

    1. L.B.

      Re: Basically...

      If we are truely honest Hollywood has always prduced 98% crap.

      It just that when we look back we mostly only remember the (averaged) 1.2 decent films that come out each year.

      Though is seems worse these days as many of the truely awfull films being made are remakes of what most people regard as classics.

      I can understand doing this if the original was a foreign film and they just want to make an English version, but when the originals were made by and started the Hollywood greates, it makes no sense at all.

  20. Michael Hawkes
    Childcatcher

    The Room

    "The Room" by Tommy Wiseau is a bit odd. It's a bit like an after-school special as told by drug dealer.I thought the ending was great, if only because it ensured there would be no sequels (we can only hope).

    1. Timothy Slade
      Thumb Up

      Re: The Room

      http://insidemovies.ew.com/2010/12/20/the-room-tommy-wiseau-3d/

      Truly a great film.

  21. CD001

    Worst film ever

    ... not sure about the worst film ever - this "made for TV" film is probably the most depressing I've ever seen. Normally I'm quite happy for bad stuff to happen to people in films but by the end of it I was like "Oh, FFS - just give them a break - the poor feckers haven't had ANYTHING go even slightly right for them, not even once".

    Lifepod : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107415/

  22. Sparx
    IT Angle

    the closest i found was

    the mention of cgi...

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