back to article iPhone apps - the 10 smartest and the 10 stupidest

The soon-to-be-released iPhone 3.0 software will offer a slew of new capabilities to iPhone developers. With that sea change in mind, we thought now would be a good time to take a look at the highs and lows of the current crop of apps for the iPhone and iPod touch. Not merely the best and worst, but rather two Reg-ratified Top …

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  1. tiggertaebo
    Paris Hilton

    @Michael C

    I think the reason you have such a different is because you live in the US - here in the UK the mobile market is very different.

    I can't remember the last time I actually PAID for a phone (certainly not any time in the last 8 years) - and yes I do tend to have high-end phones (my current device is a Nokia N95 that I've had since release). I've *never* had a device have features crippled by an operator, I can install anything I want on my N95 (even write stuff myself if I want) and I have never paid for a ring tone as I just copy my MP3s to the phone and use those. My plan is about £10 a month less than the iPhone's plan and while I'll grant I don't get data in that I could use a glut of data over the term of the contract and STILL be better off, even if I didn't add a data package to my plan.

    Paris - because she is very mobile phone relevant :)

  2. Peyton
    Happy

    I hate to admit it...

    (the frog one made me think of this)

    I probably would pay to have Hypnotoad going on my phone.

  3. Robert Brandon

    Weird

    I find it funny how people complain about how stupid apps come in and how companies should filter them, but then complain about the companies filtering apps when they do.

    Also, for the poop app, that reminded of this one website, www.funnyjunk.com, that has funny pictures/videos/Flash stuff and people can comment on them, and on practically every thing there's at least one post that says something along the lines of "Fat Ben made poop!" for no apparent reason (other than being a total jackass). Well, this app would give reason to say it.

  4. Law

    @ tiggertaebo

    No idea what you are replying to (can't be bothered reading) but I can assure you, when the N95 was the flagship phone for nokia and I was going to buy it (within a few months of release) it wasn't free on any contract below £45 - and those contracts were without data (Orange was I think £5 more a month for 1gb or something stupid, Tmobile was at least £10 more a month with their web n walk etc).... in the end I took the tmobile one... and to my surprise, even though Nokia had released several firmware updates for the phone to fix a few early issues I had, the Nokia Updater wouldn't install the latest firmware, claimed there wasn't an available update.

    Turned out, they sign the phones with sort of OEM ID's based on the network it's sold for - Tmobile hadn't sanctioned the latest firmware updates, even though it actually improved the phone, so all tmobile customers were crippled with a buggy firmware. In the end, I had to overwrite this ID myself for a generic OEM one (using dodgy software) - this in turn invalidates the warranty as far as nokia and tmobile are concerned, but I got my firmware updates - and the phone was fairly awesome after that - one of best phones I've had.

    Not trying to argue any specific point, other than you may be remembering the past with rose-tinted specs - the state of our market isn't the utopia you imagine it to be.. just less people complain about it, blaming the phones rather than the networks etc.

    Incidentally, I did use an "unlimited data" bolt on as part of my flext tarrif with the N95 - I can honestly say, as much as I loved my N95 for things like web radio apps, wifi, camera, sat nav etc etc, I still use my iPhone more on a day to day basis (thanks to a decent number of added app's as well as core features).... the only things I'd change really in the phone I have now is the camera, sync over bluetooth (my n95 worked better with my macbook than the iPhone in that respect!) and lack of a tomtom/route66 nav app for it.... hopefully these few things will be fixed in the next one.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You should see the reviews

    If you think that the apps are bad, just try reading some of the reviews! They're worse than YouTube's.

    A typical example (paraphrasing, from memory) for a children's colouring book app: "Don get this app. Its awful. I though it was good game but it jus for kids". Er, did they even look at what they were downloading?

    Or the number of reviewers who complained that the joke "hand x-ray" didn't really x-ray your body....

  6. Matt Bryant Silver badge
    Happy

    No Googlemaps?

    Half the so-called smart apps are a complete waste of battery! Surely the GPS-linked Googlemaps has to be the most useful app available to real world users? Oh, hold on a sec - we're talking fanbois! No wonder there are so many apps that fixate on what passes from the rectum in one form or another.

  7. Paul Gray
    Unhappy

    Whoa!! If only I'd known.

    You can actually get a phone you can get new applicatons for, for money? I must get me one of these gadgets. There was me with my Windows mobile device with all the free user generated content available for it.

    Things like a terminal services client that allows me to log onto my computer remotely for $30... no sorry, I meant for free.

    The only sad thing is that, as the retards go out nd buy these things because proper mobile tools like Blackberries and WM are too hard, less time will be spent working on apps for them.

  8. Tom
    Jobs Horns

    Let me translate Paul Gray for you

    """

    Waah, its not fair, I've got a Windows Touch Smartphone, its shit but it was cheap, so no worries. I can install ANY app I like, and if I fancy I can write my OWN APPS in Visual Studio!, unfortunately, I can't seem to write anything good, and all the apps I've downloaded actually look like shit windows programs running on a phone.

    On the other hand, I didn't buy an iPhone. Hahaha, those clueless tools, with their easy to use UIs.

    """

    Don't worry Paul, keep raging at the iPhone, eventually you will convince yourself you did actually make the right decision.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ Michael Wojcik

    That was my original point - these aren't the best 10 apps available. The list is ridiculously selective and aimed at (a) people who want to access their computers or servers from their phones and (b) er, that is it. There are a multitude of much better apps available that aren't listed at all. And it has totally ignored all the games available.

    P.S. One I forgot from my own list is Google Earth...

    P.P.S. And my list is hardly inclusive either as it is limited to proper apps rather than games and is only representative of ones I have on my own phone.

  10. Michael Brown

    @Evil Gav

    >I take it you are aware just quite how much data costs as soon as you leave the shores of Blighty?

    >And that the iPhone has a horrible tendency to be continually using the data services ?

    Not when you're roaming it doesn't. "Data Roaming" is switched off by default, and there's a warning about excessive roaming charges next to the switch to enable it.

    >I dread to think what an always on iPhone will happily spend of your money.

    As I said above, the iPhone is not "always on" when roaming. In any case, the iPhone is only "always on" the network if you have Push Notifications (for e-mail etc) enabled. Just because it's always got a network connection doesn't mean it's constantly sending/receiving data. In fact having push e-mail enabled uses very little data by itself. It really depends how much e-mail you receive. In any case, I don't know many people who have Push e-mail enabled because it's a huge battery hog.

  11. J
    Dead Vulture

    Well...

    It would have been interesting for the article to give the current (at "press" time) amount of downloads each app had (I'm took lazy to go to the iTunes store and check; hell, I don't even know if I'd be able, from Firefox on Linux...). And maybe give an update one or two weeks later, so just we know how much of a damage El Reg's coverage of these apps has done...

  12. istara

    Great list, but hate the iTunes links

    Linking to AppShopper.com (or similar) is much more preferable. I hate iTunes opening all the time: it's really slow, you can't open more than one page at a time, and I'm currently on my work Pc so couldn't directly buy stuff there anyway since my iPhone syncs with my home MBP.

  13. Pierre
    Thumb Down

    What's the point?

    Yeah, let's download apps which will allow us to waste hours doing an awful job of otherwise easy tasks!

    I mean, seriously, who is going to actually create music on a microscopic device with worst-than-awful audio capabilities? Why not do that on a real machine, check the result on your £1000 sound system, _then_ transfer the result on whatever you want?

    Same for the FTP stuff: are you *really* going to trust someone to fix a website from a frigging phone? Yeah sure, I'll fix this XHTML page -full of scripts- and/or this Apache config file. From a device that displays 10 half-lines of text at a time. Through an insecure connection. What could possibly go wrong?

    I guess the Bloomberg thing can be remotely useful if you're so stock-obsessed that you feel you can't let the market unmonitored for a full 30 minutes -and can't be bothered to browse the web for the info-, but that's it.

    At least the "idiotic" apps will probably give the expected results. the "smart" ones are for twits who don't have to perform any actual work but want to impress the boss's PA. Oh wait, we're talking about iPhone owners. I see now. Go ahead, these apps are great!

  14. richard llewellyn

    Very US!

    Quite a few of the apps listed are not available in the UK...Kindle and Pandora being the ones I would love to be able to use!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    AP News Network

    Clearly the author has never used this app. Buggy, slow, frustrating, needs to be uninstalled/reinstalled regularly to keep it happy. Very 2.x is bloatware at its worst and a terrible UI.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    I don't have an iPhone...

    ...with a bunch of useless apps, but I do have a life that isn't dependent on technology. So I rate all these as stupid.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Pathetic...

    Look, if you think the device is shit, why bother reading the article? All you iPhone-haters have 1 thing in common - NO LIFE! You actively seek out articles about a piece of technology that you all think is crap and tell people that think it's crap as well as those that already own the device and think it's good that it's crap - all without ANY kind of base in reality of fact. I pity you. You need to get out more. Maybe an iPhone would help...

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