back to article Oz lad 'fell in love with' baby meerkat, nicked it from zoo, took it out for a romantic Big Mac

Ever found yourself overcome by cuteness while gawping at sad, caged animals that you just had to take one home with you? Us neither, but that's exactly what 23-year-old Jesse Hooker did on a trip to Perth Zoo in Australia. The tourist attraction reported that a one-month-old meerkitten had gone missing on 19 September, …

  1. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Tigra 07
      Pint

      Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

      Grey squirrels are disease-riddled cretins that wiped out most of the native red squirrels. I absolutely support these Meerkats doing their national duty to stamp out consume these fluffy menaces.

      1. Semtex451

        Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

        Trouble is they'd eat the red ones given half a chance. We need to train up badgers to eat only grey ones, badgers need the PR. Meerkats PR budget must be astronomical.

        1. Tigra 07
          Childcatcher

          Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

          The badgers will need a good PR firm to represent them. To most people, they're just giant cretins spreading TB everywhere.

          1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
            Mushroom

            Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

            Have you never seen the Badger Badger Badger song by Weebl!???

            Reinstall Flash in your browser and leave the web page open for a minimum of 1 hour!

            1. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

              Re : Weebl

              It's not as good as the "Only in Kenya" one. Once that gets into my head I can't get rid of it.

              1. Glen 1

                Re: Re : Weebl

                Forget Norway! (More like Snoreway!)

          2. VeganVegan
            Childcatcher

            Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

            Curious that you bring up badgers and TB, as red squirrels harbor the leprosy bacteria: https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-37949557

            Mycobacterium tuberculosis versus Mycobacterium leprae, not much of a choice.

            1. Nolveys

              Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

              red squirrels harbor the leprosy bacteria

              Red squirrels make for good eatin', you can really taste the leprosy.

          3. Nick Kew

            Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

            The badgers will need a good PR firm to represent them. To most people, they're just giant cretins spreading TB everywhere.

            News in the last couple of days: government-commissioned study finds it's mostly cows spreading TB. Not badgers. Which should come as no surprise to anyone given that TB is a disease of poverty and really bad conditions - which cows suffer a lot worse than wild animals.

            1. jake Silver badge

              Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

              Since when did badgers and grey squirrels suffer from congenital iodine deficiency syndrome? Or did I miss yet another meaningless Internet meme?

              1. This post has been deleted by its author

                1. jake Silver badge

                  Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

                  I'm fully aware of the more modern uses of the term "cretin", but none of those seem to apply to wildlife doing wildlife things in wildlife time. Thus I assumed TOA meant the archaic usage ... barring some new-fangled usage that I am unaware of. Thus my question.

                  While you asked about other word usage, I can't be arsed reply since it had naught to do with my question.

            2. jake Silver badge

              Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

              My cows do NOT live in worse conditions than wild animals, TYVM.

            3. david 12 Silver badge

              Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

              >mostly cows spreading TB.<

              Which is why it's called Bovine TB, (mycobacterium bovis) and why Britain had such high levels of BTB in humans until the belated acceptance of pasteurization. Like mycobacterium tuberculosis, BVT can cause Turbicles or other symptoms in humans. It's not as contagious in humans: most people only get it from milk.

              But there is an eradication campaign, and cows with BVT are culled, so I would think that is would be natural for farmers to be pissed off about even small rates of infection from badgers.

        2. My other car WAS an IAV Stryker

          Re: Meerkat PR budget

          It IS astronomical, thanks to Disney's Timon from "The Lion King". They exploited the heck out of that character (along with his confidant Pumbaa).

      2. Rich 11

        Re: He got off lightly compared to Tufty.

        I absolutely support these Meerkats doing their national duty

        What do you mean, 'national duty'? Meerkats aren't British, they're Russian!

        (At least I'm sure I saw that in a documentary somewhere. Bloody tons of meerkat documentaries on the telly, every 15 minutes at least.)

    2. Pedigree-Pete
      Pint

      Favorite Squirrel clip.....

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL-NNWoblxI

      @ about 1'20". PP

      >>It's Friday, at least here.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Simples!

    1. Adam 1

      "Obviously life outside its mob just doesn't compare"

      Bravo

  3. Semtex451
    Coat

    He should have made it buy some car insurance, the basturds.

    (I must type really slowly or something)

  4. adam payne

    Hooker has been fined AU$4,000. He wrote to Perth Zoo offering to perform his community service there, which was politely declined.

    Politely declined and then thought about banning him for life.

    1. Rich 11

      The other option was throwing him to the lions.

  5. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    The real question

    Did he take it to McDonalds because that was where he was going for a snack on the way home? Or did he sit it at the chair opposite and buy it a burger?

    After all, I've seen them eating at restaurants in those bitesize documentaries between the programs. As well as wearing smoking jackets and eating popcorn at the cinema.

    Also according to said documentaries if you spray yourself with Lynx - women will want to be near you, rather than recoil in horror. And Ferrero Rocher are apparently nice...

    Although on that last one, they are in fact offered at the Ambassador's Reception. The Times did an interview with the Russian ambassador in London, and he had a tray of the vile things in his waiting room.

    1. Tom 38

      Re: The real question

      2 for 1 with a meerkat, everyone knows that.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The real question

      Ferrero Rocher are nice you uncultured commoner! How very dare you! I fart in your general direction! Your mother is a hamster, and your father smells of elderberries!

      1. msknight

        Re: The real question

        Do you mind @AC ... this is a technical forum. The insult should therefore be appropriate.

        "Hey, Laserlips. Your Momma was a snow blower. Thrrrrrwp."

        1. Tigra 07

          Re: msknight

          Careful, you might trigger someone...

        2. David 132 Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: The real question

          msknight - thanks for the Short Circuit reference, though I wonder how many here will get it.

          By coincidence, I was in Astoria just the other day, and drove over the Megler bridge (the one Johnny 5 parachuted from). “Stephanie’s” house is for sale at the moment, by the way.

          Also there - the school and house used in Kindergarten Cop, and the house from the Goonies, although in the latter case the owner has got so tired of trespassers photographing the house he’s shrouded it in tarpaulins and posted threatening “POLICE WILL BE CALLED” signs.

          1. msknight

            Re: The real question

            David132 Well, someone either didn't get it, or didn't like it :-)

            Re. The Goonies house... sounds like a nerd who doesn't want to share. I mean... why else buy The Goonies house! - *sigh* - those were the days.

            And yes, I did watch Short Circuit to the end, from the robot fight scene, shortly after making the post :-)

      2. jake Silver badge

        Re: The real question

        "Ferrero Rocher"

        That reminds me, I've got to clean the litterbox.

        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
          Happy

          Re: The real question

          jake,

          Well played sir! Not only did I laugh out loud, but in my efforts not to disturb the office, it came out like Muttley sniggering - which made me laugh even more.

          Saggerfrassin'-rassin'-Dick Dastardly!

        2. Rich 11

          Re: The real question

          That reminds me, I've got to clean the litterbox.

          Your cat shits gold foil?

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: The real question

            No, cats don't shit gold foil ... but one wonders if you were never properly trained on the intended use of confections that some people incorrectly call "chocolate".

  6. msknight

    He probably took it to MaccyD's...

    ...to show what animals in a cage really look like.

    (Wimpy fan ... Burger King at a push... but there's more nutrition in MaccyD's boxes than in their burgers as far as I'm concerned.)

    Old joke... what's the difference between a post and under graduate? The undergrad asks if you'd like fires with your Big Mac... the post grad asks if you want fries with your Whopper.

    1. Rich 11

      Re: He probably took it to MaccyD's...

      I'd definitely want fires with my Big Mac. There's nothing quite like an evening's entertainment in front of the fire, people screaming and running all over the place.

  7. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    Obviously life outside its mob just doesn't compare.

    So are you saying that you *can't* compare the meerkat?

    1. Adam 1

      I thought it was simples enough

  8. Florida1920

    Cubicle rats

    Here in the States, meerkats work in offices. I saw it in a GEICO TV commercial, so it must be true.

  9. Winkypop Silver badge
    Alert

    Perth Zoo

    Maybe he should try taking "Simmo" home next time.

    Simmo the Estuarine Crocodile is between 50 and 70 years old, 4.7 m long and weighs about 500 kg.

    Better count you fingers, toes and legs.

    1. David 132 Silver badge

      Re: Perth Zoo

      Better count your fingers, toes and legs.

      I feel like that wouldn’t be difficult after stealing a crocodile. You could almost certainly represent your total number of remaining limbs/appendages using 1 binary bit.

  10. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

    All meerkats are cute unless it is the vodacom moerkat.

    Only Saffers will understand this :)

  11. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
    Flame

    Pot calling the cattle black

    Ok, so the yoof stole the meerkitten from the zoo. The zoo abducted a whole meerkat group from its natural habitat "underneath the African sky" and stuck them in a cage. Lad gets fine and community service. The zoo is left to perpetuate its cruelty to animals. Pfft!

    1. Tigra 07
      Coat

      Re: Pot calling the cattle black

      1 - The Meerkats now live in a safe enclosure, not a cage.

      2 - The meerkats have guaranteed food for life - no hunting for it and going hungry when unsuccesful.

      3 - Fans - The meerkats will earn fans from people who will never see a real one otherwise - resulting in sponsorships and aid to their natural habitats.

      4 - Free medical care. They don't even have to pay National Insurance Contributions!

      5 - A guaranteed standard of living and protection from the elements, poachers, and natural predators (except thieves apparently).

      You can call that cruel, but it's a decent standard of living by a big stretch.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Pot calling the cattle black

        "You can call that cruel, but it's a decent standard of living by a big stretch."

        Anthropomorphism isn't cute, or so my daughter informed us when she was about 9 years old.

  12. MJI Silver badge

    They stink

    Only found this out when a local garden centre had some on display.

    And they didn't even wear clothes, nor talk

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