Only 15...
Intel's spectre count is rapidly catching up....
(at least I tried to make it IT related)
Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex
If, on the eve of Halloween, your mind has turned to Amethyst Realm, the woman who dated more than 15 ghosts, let us get you up to speed. She has settled down. With another spook. The 30-year-old "spiritual guidance counsellor" from Bristol plans to have a baby with her spectral fiancé, Cornwall Live reported, though how that …
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Tuesday 30th October 2018 14:43 GMT Anonymous Coward
Dear God,
As I understand Catholic doctrine, there are no such things as ghosts. Once you're dead you are in Heaven, Hell or Purgatory (if that's still a thing) and not around to go woo-woo on Earth.
Therefore, if you come into contact with something which represents itself as a spirit of the dead, it's actually a demon sent to tempt you, so you make the sign of the cross and it evaporates.
Not that I believe a word of it but at least it's a consistent belief system, so this is not a bug report you can file with the Catholic God.
Abusive nuns and priests, however, different kettle of theological fish. You can report them.
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Tuesday 30th October 2018 16:51 GMT jake
Re: Dear God,
You're thinking about it bassakwards. You don't pick one now, you wait.
Consider that thanks to the many gods and goddesses that Man has invented^Wdiscovered^Wcome in contact with^W^W^W^Wwhatever, the chances of you actually worshiping THE Gawd/ess that created this dampish rock we live on are slim-to-nil ... I suspect that the god of the OT would be really, really pissed if you are worshiping the God of the NT, if they are, in fact, different $ENTITIES ... and if you do chose one or both of those two, what Kali might have to say when you slip your mortal coil doesn't bear thinking about. Probably better to say "I dunno" now, in life, and beg forgiveness when/if you get to the other side, no?
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Tuesday 30th October 2018 17:09 GMT Evil Auditor
Re: Dear God,
...or Purgatory (if that's still a thing)
Yes it is a thing, and very real for that matter. I used to live there. It is otherwise known as Belgium*.
* Of course, Belgium isn't that bad at all. In fact, it can be a rather nice and pleasant place. That it turned out to be my personal purgatory has mainly to do with the fact that it is the origin of ex-Ms Evil Auditor.
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Thursday 1st November 2018 11:42 GMT CrazyOldCatMan
Re: Dear God,
the default alignment is Belgium is chaotic neutral.
Unless you are on a motorbike. In which case, it turns into chaotic evil.
Unlike their neighbours on either side (Germany and France) which are both quite careful and respectful of bikes - particularly foreign ones. Switzerland however, is very definately lawful evil towards foreign bikes - particularly ones with UK plates.
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Thursday 1st November 2018 11:40 GMT CrazyOldCatMan
Re: Dear God,
Was she more evil or less evil than you like?
I suspect the answer would be "differently evil".
Bit like the differences between senior and junior black cats[1] current resident at my house.
[1] Unlike senoir male cat - the one that woke us up at 2am by enthusiastically chomping his take-home meal[2] by our bed..
[2] By the scant remains - a mouse.
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Wednesday 31st October 2018 22:02 GMT BongoJoe
Re: Dear God,
Goodness, I met my ex in Belgium too: a left-pondian whom gave me mental scars for years afterwards.
What is it with that place? Is the lashings of free flowing De Koninck which addled our senses?
Nonetheless, I would love to return there and see out my days in that wonderful, but utterly bonkers, country.
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Wednesday 31st October 2018 11:27 GMT dr john
Re: Dear God,
This is where purgatory is
https://www.google.com/maps/place/Purgatory/@51.9087192,-1.35518,13.5z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x4876da73c403d64d:0x261dec584da99635!8m2!3d51.9037532!4d-1.3425153
World's End is nearby too, down the road a bit
https://www.google.com/maps/place/World's+End,+Newbury+RG20+8SB/@51.4895563,-1.32346,13.25z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x4876a53d96aa0e05:0x260eae2ecb827301!8m2!3d51.485418!4d-1.301698
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Wednesday 31st October 2018 10:00 GMT Anonymous Coward
"You can report them"
You can also report demons and the like to an exorcist - if you believe in that, that's your bug hunted and pest control... still, I guess it would disapprove hooking up a ghost, especially since "succubi" and "incubi" are demons looking for sex... so, it looks it's an old story. Just, this woman a few century ago would have been burn as a witch. Just those poor women didn't make the money of actual ones...
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Wednesday 31st October 2018 11:11 GMT jmch
Re: Dear God,
"Once you're dead you are in Heaven, Hell or Purgatory (if that's still a thing).... Not that I believe a word of it but at least it's a consistent belief system "
Of course there is also the "Mary ascended to heaven with her human body" thing, and if you keep the consistency of belief system, implies that heaven is a physical location somewhere in the Universe.
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Wednesday 31st October 2018 11:48 GMT Teiwaz
Re: Dear God, I am writing to complain....
As I understand Catholic doctrine, there are no such things as ghosts. Once you're dead you are in Heaven, Hell or Purgatory (if that's still a thing) and not around to go woo-woo on Earth.
Still been known to have done exorcisms though....
Therefore, if you come into contact with something which represents itself as a spirit of the dead, it's actually a demon sent to tempt you, so you make the sign of the cross and it evaporates.
Now I think you're getting confused with the more puritan variations of protestantism (apart from the crossing yourself thing - I think they advise waving a bible at it).
Not that I believe a word of it but at least it's a consistent belief system, so this is not a bug report you can file with the Catholic God.
Consistent? I think you've had too much pumpkin punch...whole thing devised by a committee in Nicea (we all know how things put together by committee end up) then left to stew in political expediency and corruption for a thousand or so years.
Abusive nuns and priests, however, different kettle of theological fish. You can report them.
That's only been effective in the last thirty or so years. Think what it was like centuries ago when the Church was a gateway for the really ambitious and power hungry.
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Thursday 1st November 2018 11:37 GMT CrazyOldCatMan
Re: Dear God,
As I understand Catholic doctrine, there are no such things as ghosts.
In the original Christian theology[1] there are no ghosts either. Largely (or entirely) because the idea of an immortal soul was something that the later Church added on from pagan theology (along with a literal devil, the trinity and quite a few other things..)
[1] As in the 1st Century, before people started changing the theology for fun and profit..
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Tuesday 30th October 2018 14:03 GMT John Mangan
Part of me is amused . . .
but part of me thinks it is impolite to laugh at crazy (not a clinical diagnosis) people.
Even if they do push themselves into the public eye.
Actually, regarding the public eye thing, how are the programme makers/newspaper editors in any way different from the warders in bedlam?
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Wednesday 31st October 2018 09:22 GMT Pen-y-gors
Re: Part of me is amused . . .
Yep.
And, on This Morning next Monday, we'll be talking to an Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, who will be telling us of his plans to invade Russia. On Tuesday we'll be interviewing Mr Elwood P Dowd and his six-foot tall pet rabbit, Harvey. Then on Wednesday we will be speaking to the widow of an African dictator who has $62 million (SIXTY TWO MILLION US DOLARS) that she is trying to find a safe home for, and on Thursday our guest explains how he can cure cancer over the Internet on receipt of £1000.
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Tuesday 30th October 2018 15:42 GMT Anonymous Coward
(Serious bit)
At what point does it become your duty to refer the mental health services to a person like this?
Only at the point where other peoples well being is threatened. I refer you to a wiser mind than mine :
"The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant..."
John Stuart Mill
- now I appreciate that's not how it is in the UK, and we have this nobly corrosive idea that we should somehow save people "from themselves". But to my mind that requires that everybody thinks the same as everybody else. Which is a dangerous path to tread.
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Tuesday 30th October 2018 17:02 GMT ibmalone
Re: (Serious bit)
- now I appreciate that's not how it is in the UK, and we have this nobly corrosive idea that we should somehow save people "from themselves". But to my mind that requires that everybody thinks the same as everybody else. Which is a dangerous path to tread.
There's a difficult line. But if somebody is suffering from a temporary psychosis due to drugs or an infection, then maybe stopping them stabbing themselves or jumping off a building while under a delusion is not quite the state oppression you're suggesting.
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Tuesday 30th October 2018 19:04 GMT sisk
Re: (Serious bit)
now I appreciate that's not how it is in the UK
I really don't think it's that way in most places. I can name at least a dozen laws here that only protect people from themselves. Drug laws, seat belt and helmet laws, curfew laws (usually anyway - I could see them in places that have had problems with juvenile delinquents), the inability of grocery stores to get liquor licenses and the ban on alcohol sales on Sunday (those two are local to this hyper-religious area and annoying)...The list goes on and on.
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Wednesday 31st October 2018 01:05 GMT Clunking Fist
Re: (Serious bit)
"Drug laws, seat belt and helmet laws" are designed to stop you becoming a drain on our socialised health services, as much as protect yourself.
"curfew laws" most def protect me from you, if you are a noisy vomiting delinquent.
"the inability of grocery stores to get liquor licenses" is about the protection racket for existing suppliers.
"the ban on alcohol sales on Sunday" doesn't protect anyone, but does leave those in favour of the ban with a warm feeling inside and a sense of power over others.
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Wednesday 31st October 2018 16:15 GMT sisk
Re: (Serious bit)
"Drug laws, seat belt and helmet laws" are designed to stop you becoming a drain on our socialised health services, as much as protect yourself.
If that's the intent then drug laws, at least, fail miserably. The amount of money that gets funneled into fighting the drug war when it might actually accomplish some good going into treatment programs for addicts instead is absolutely staggering.
As for seat belt and helmet laws, I think it's mostly a wash, at least here in the US. We don't have socialized medicine (though, in my personal opinion, it would be a vast improvement on our incredibly broken health care system even if I were prepared to accept the "socialist=bad always" narrative that's common here, which I'm not). Even if we did paramedics usually respond to traffic accidents whether there's an actual need for them or not on the grounds that figuring out whether they're needed would take minutes that can be the difference between life and death in such situations.
"curfew laws" most def protect me from you, if you are a noisy vomiting delinquent.
Which is why I can understand them in places that have significant problems with juvenile delinquents. But the simple fact of the matter is that most juveniles aren't delinquents, and treating them as though they are is a good way to breed teenage rebellion. For the most part in most places the only valid justification for curfew laws on teens is to make sure they get enough sleep for school because some of them (I was one of these back in the 90s) would otherwise be out all night but not necessarily causing problems.
"the ban on alcohol sales on Sunday" doesn't protect anyone, but does leave those in favour of the ban with a warm feeling inside and a sense of power over others.
I think those in favor of such bans frame it in their own minds as protecting the souls of us poor sinners who want to drink on the Sabbath. Which is ridiculous both in terms of their own religion (Christ's first miracle was to create wine so that a party could continue after all, and wine is called for in Communion even if most denominations use grape juice instead these days, and even barring that....well, go ask a clergyman what day of the week is the Biblical Sabbath and I think you'll be surprised by the answer) and and on the grounds that not everyone shares it.
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Wednesday 31st October 2018 10:15 GMT Anonymous Coward
"laws here that only protect people from themselves"
No, often they also protect others from you. Driving under alcohol or drugs means you have more chances to hurt or kill others (and even when not driving - a lot of violence happens under altered conditions).
Without seat belts, you become an issue for those sitting in front of you. And if unluckily you don't die, and become just a disabled, other people will need to pay for your therapies and sustenance. I think people who want just want to take full risks to damage themselves, should sign a document asserting they agree no one would ever be compelled to take care of them.
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
