back to article On the first day of Christmas my true love gave me tea... pigs-in-blankets-flavoured tea

It's common knowledge that the British are a nation of tea drinkers but – yikes – Sainsbury's launch of pigs in blankets and Brussels sprout-flavoured teas ahead of the Christmas mania are a little beyond the pale brown water. Greggs_sausage_roll_manger Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said READ MORE The UK …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sprouts

    ..are lovely. You wierdo :-P

    Incidentally, they are even better with bacon. But then everything is.

    1. Aladdin Sane

      Re: Sprouts

      Sprouts are fantastic.

    2. Alister

      Re: Sprouts

      Sprouts are indeed lovely.

      But sprout-flavoured tea? You are effectively drinking cabbage-water...

      Hmmm...

      1. Herring`

        Re: Sprouts

        I'm also a sprout fan* but I shall be giving the tea a miss.

        *Apart from frozen sprouts which are an abomination in the eyes of the Lord.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sprouts

      I hated sprouts until I had them at a work Christmas do where they were made by a proper chef. Apparently the secret is to not overcook them.

      1. Kubla Cant
        Joke

        Re: Sprouts

        the secret is to not overcook them

        Quite right. They're ruined by people who put them on to cook on Christmas Eve. 05:00 on Christmas morning is plenty early enough.

      2. Pete Smith 2

        Re: Sprouts

        Same for all brassicas. Cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage. They all turn nasty if you cook them too much. Cook them just right and they're perfect.

    4. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Sprouts

      Incidentally, they are even better with bacon

      I came here to say the same thing. Cooked "al dente", tossed in butter with some bacon lardons and just a hint of nutmeg.

      Please don't confuse them with the stale, boiled-to-mush, sprout stew beloved of industrial cafeteria. Properly-done sprouts are excellent.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sprouts

        Bacon lardons? Cut out the middleman and stir fry the sprouts in bacon fat to start with. Works best with the smallest, most tender sprouts of course, but if you're stuck with large ones you can microwave them for a couple of minutes first.

      2. Gotno iShit Wantno iShit

        Re: Sprouts

        I came here to say the same thing. Cooked "al dente", tossed in butter with some bacon lardons and just a hint of nutmeg.

        It is truly a crime that I can only upvote this once.

      3. davemcwish

        Re: Sprouts

        I thinly slice mine before frying with porky goodness and butter; no need for ruining by microwave either. Those that have more time on their hands and/or wanting to emulate Heston, the chef not the place on the M4, can separate the leaves individually.

        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

          Re: Sprouts

          What is all this talk of fried sprouts and bacon (yummy!) that fails to mention the all-important holy trinity of ingredients? Bacon, sprouts and chestnuts. Yummy.

          Sprout tea on the other hand is an abomination. I think I'll boycott Sainsbury's tonight and go shopping in Aldi in protest. This is nothing to do with a new one just opening here that happens to sell the finest chilli peanuts in Christendom along with their excellent chocolate and wonderful choice of booze. That has nothing to do with the decision I'd already just made.

          As to pigs in blankets tea, well I like bacon sarnies with a cuppa, but this seems ridiculous.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Sprouts

            I can't digest sprouts.

            Every medical condition has its up-side.

      4. JohnFen

        Re: Sprouts

        "Properly-done sprouts are excellent."

        I have had properly-done sprouts (at least properly done according to some sprout-lovers I know). I still find them horrific to the point of inedibility.

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sprouts

        Stir fried sprouts are also a good thing, as is a Boxing day breakfast bubble n squeak made with leftover (I know, but there are only so many kilos a man can eat) sprouts.

    5. ridley

      Re: Sprouts

      Cannot agree more, lovely.

      Using the water from them makes a great base for gravy too.

    6. Pen-y-gors

      Re: Sprouts

      Agree about the bacon - even vegan food is better with bacon sprinkles.

      And the sprout is God's anointed vegetable, closely followed by savoy cabbage. I understand that some people don't really rate broccoli, and most would agree that kale and turnips are for cattle, not humans. (N.B. Neeps with haggis of course aren't what the English call turnips, but are actually Swedish Turneeps, or swedes, which are lovely)

      Of course the potato is in a category of its own.

      And celery is Satan's favourite vegetable.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Sprouts

        "Neeps with haggis of course aren't what the English call turnips, but are actually Swedish Turneeps, or swedes, which are lovely"

        OK, total confusion now. When I worra lad turnips were the large yellow-fleshed veg used, inter alia to make turnip lanterns for bonfire night (Halloween? <spit>) and swedes were the little white jobs. Now it seems to be t'other way about. So I'm not sure what you're alleging the English call turnips.

        Personally I prefer the big yellow-fleshed version and even better mashed with carrots.

        But let's also hear it for kohl rabbi.

        1. Martin-73 Silver badge

          Re: Sprouts

          This might be north south rather than england scotland.... here in the deep sarf, the large yellow fleshed things are swedes, and the small whitish things that baldrick ate are turnips.

          North of t'border it's reversed, maybe in other regions also?

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Sprouts

            "the small whitish things that baldrick ate are turnips."

            So your turnip lanterns are rather small miserable things then?

    7. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. LeahroyNake

        Re: Sprouts

        Celery rightfully claims that crown !

        Even people that supposedly like it dip it in salt to make it semi edible.

        Celery is the only thing on my food / I will gag if I smell it list.

        1. ibmalone

          Re: Sprouts

          Celery rightfully claims that crown !

          Even people that supposedly like it dip it in salt to make it semi edible.

          Celery is the only thing on my food / I will gag if I smell it list.

          Whatever your stance on raw celery (I'll happily eat it, but don't seek it out), cooked it plays an important role in lots of mince based things, bolognese, shepherd's pie etc.

    8. Not also known as SC
      Meh

      Re: Sprouts

      are evil.

      1. hplasm
        Unhappy

        Re: Sprouts

        ...are an Abomination Unto Nuggan!

    9. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sprouts

      Liking sprouts is linked to your genetics. A certain gene (or combination of genes) means that a portion of the population cannot taste the chemical that makes them inedible to those of us that can taste it.

      See also coriander, which I love but some people think taste of soap (and how do they know?).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sprouts

        a portion of the population cannot taste the chemical that makes them inedible to those of us that can taste it.

        Is there any connection to the gene that allows some people to eat asparagus without smelling it every time they take a piss for the next day?

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: Sprouts

          There are two basic mutations regarding the asparagus piss smell. Type A is a mutation in the enzyme that breaks down the protein into the smelly, excretable molecules that end up in piss. Type B is a mutation in the smell receptor that reacts to the smelly molecules in the piss.

          Type A mutants are not a problem. Type B, however, simply insist that their piss doesn't smell bad despite that fact that over half the population are retching at the foul stench of their micturate.

    10. Flakk
      Joke

      Re: Sprouts

      Whatever possessed the Belgians to develop a Barbie-sized cabbage is wholly beyond me, especially considering that even she won't eat them.

    11. FuzzyWuzzys
      Stop

      Re: Sprouts

      Not if you're allergic and and they make you violently sick! Hated them as a kid, forced to ensure them I never felt right. As an adult my reaction one Crimble was to eat 2 and then get to see my entire Crimble din-dins all over a again and spend the next hour lying on the sofa feeling like death warmed up, itching, sweating and shaking. I later learned my Dad doesn't eat them either as they make him feel sick too.

      My body sees all the goodness in the little green sods as a threat to my immune system and I break out in sweats, itchiness and vomitting. I can't even stand the smell when my wife cooks cruciferious veggies like cabbage. We have to agree for me to be out of the house when my family wants to eat them!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sprouts

        @FuzzyWuzzys

        I take it you're okay with lettuce?

        Brassicas specifically are known to trigger a number of different reactions in people. If so then you might consider a more mediterranean diet.

  2. mr-slappy

    The King of Vegetables

    What?? The Brussels sprout is the King of Vegetables. I’m sure my family would back me up on this one.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The King of Vegetables

      Now come on, peas are the king of vegetables.

      They are useful in the case that some southern fool makes gravy that resembles a liquid, the peas can be mixed in to give it a more chewy gravy like consistency.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: The King of Vegetables

        "Now come on, peas are the king of vegetables."

        Only if you eat them with honey. Otherwise they roll off your knife.

    2. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

      Re: The King of Vegetables

      The Brussels sprout is the King of Vegetables

      As convincing an argument as any for republicanism

    3. Marco van de Voort

      Re: The King of Vegetables

      Aspargus, obviously.

    4. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Megaphone

      Re: The King of Vegetables

      I'm sorry, there can be no argument. The potato is the King of Vegetables. In fact, it's also the King Edward of vegetables. Sprouts are indeed nice, as is sparrow-grass, peas, the roast parsnip etc.

      But the holy potato give us the chip, the potato salad, beautiful new ones slathered in butter and served with fish, dauphinoise (for those on a diet), and perhaps best of all mash. No perhaps the most noble of all the delectable roastie.

      I've not even mentioned croquettes, rosti and bakes. Nor the beautiful cripsy, buttery potatoey lid on top of a hot pot.

      Worship the Holy Potato! Give thanks for it's Mighty Deliciousity!

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: The King of Vegetables

        "Worship the Holy Potato!"

        Wow! If it wasn't dark I'd be inspired to go out and dig up a few.

      2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Re: But the holy potato give us the chip, the potato salad,...

        ...I have them in my socks. too...

      3. Rafael #872397

        Re: Worship the Holy Potato! Give thanks for it's Mighty Deliciousity!

        ALL HAIL THE HOLY POTATO.

        Not a big fan of the vegetable, but a sucker for pseudo-religious fake frenzy.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The King of Vegetables

        Obviously potato is king of the vegetables, but my girlfriend tells me that potatoes don't count as a vegetable and that I must eat something green.

        It may be more correct to say that while potatoes are the king of vegetables, peas are definitely in the line of succession.

      5. Alister

        Re: The King of Vegetables

        @I ain't Spartacus.

        Is your name Rincewind, by any chance?

  3. Tigra 07
    Devil

    There! Fixed that for you!

    "an Advent calendar featuring a sausage roll in a manger rather than the Logos Emmanuel, Son of God himself, Jesus Christ"

    The alleged son of the alleged God himself, or herself, Jesus Christ.

    Sincerely

    A pedantic atheist, and yeah, im going to hell, but all the good stuff is forbidden in the Bibble and in hell anyway!

    1. chivo243 Silver badge
      Angel

      Re: There! Fixed that for you!

      Bibble? I hope that was intentional... being an atheist an alll...

      1. Tigra 07
        Pint

        Re: Chivo243

        Yes, it was intentional. I don't hold any love or respect for religion (except parody ones like Pastafarianism and Satanism). I'm sceptical that there ever was a Jebus.

        1. Mark 85

          Re: Chivo243

          (except parody ones like Pastafarianism

          Bite your tongue man!! His benevolence isn't a parody.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Chivo243

            Bite your tongue, mon!

            FTFY

          2. Tigra 07
            Pint

            Re: Chivo243

            "Bite your tongue man!! His benevolence isn't a parody."

            May his noodly appendage both bless and fondle you. Ramen.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Devil

      Re: There! Fixed that for you!

      > "...im going to hell, but all the good stuff is forbidden in the Bibble and in hell anyway!"

      Oh no, you have that backwards. It's in heaven that all the good stuff is forbidden. In hell you can do whatever the heck you want.

      1. Tigra 07
        Facepalm

        Re: There! Fixed that for you!

        "Oh no, you have that backwards. It's in heaven that all the good stuff is forbidden. In hell you can do whatever the heck you want."

        I actually had it right, i believe i just missed the comma: "but all the good stuff is forbidden in the Bibble, and in hell anyway"

        I've always struggled with commas * facepalm *

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