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'Incommunicado' Assange anoints new WikiLeaks editor in chief

Megaphone

Incommunicado!

Maybe they should constantly play Marillion's nice tune at him until he decides that he doesn't want to be incommunicado any more and so exits his broom cupboard and embassy by choice to get some of that lovely wifi.

Though it may be a brief flirtation as I don't think the Met or HMP offer wifi either....

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Incommunicado!

Incommunicado except for messages via his lawyer.... so not quite then.

Strange that the article notes this and then wonders how he can pass messages to appoint his replacement?????

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Re: Incommunicado!

I’m thinking maybe they should just pay someone anonymous to start a fire at the rear entrance while the CCTV is conspicuously down, that forces all the building occupants to be evacuated.

If assange still refuses to leave, then I’m sure that “firemen” are more than willing to administer a knockout gas mask, I mean an oxygen gas mask when they find his lifeless body inside, while they perform their fire fighting duties.

Come on, surely someone else has already thought of this? MI5? MI6? Special Branch? My old dinner ladies maybe?

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Re: Incommunicado!

"Come on, surely someone else has already thought of this?"

Yes, The CIA, at the Russian embassy in Washington DC about 40 years ago.

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"Held"

He can walk out any time.

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Re: "Held"

More to the point, even if you accept that he's being arbitrarily detained by the UK (I don't), they'd be the ones holding him. But it's Ecuador who let him in, and would totally let him leave, that have cut off his comms.

So even in his own distorted world he's being held AND kept incommunicado, not being held incommunicado. The "captors" in his tale aren't stopping his communication.

But, then he's never been able to acknowledge his part in any of this - it's all about trying to twist the view to convince people he's some innocent being picked on. It's that constant spin that makes it increasingly clear what a heap of bullshit it is he's been shovelling the whole time.

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Re: "Held"

Exactly. The only person imposing on Julian Assange is Julian Assange.

What a complete tool his man is. Please, El Reg, stop giving him column inches.

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Joke

Re: "Held"

> He can walk out any time.

<conspiracy> Maybe the Ecuadorians are now preventing him from leaving and no one has realised? </conspiracy>

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Re: "Held"

<conspiracy> Maybe the Ecuadorians are now preventing him from leaving and no one has realised? </conspiracy>

Welcome to the Hotel Equadoria.

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Joke

Re: "Held"

<conspiracy> Maybe the Ecuadorians are now preventing him from leaving and no one has realised? </conspiracy>

You're right. They have cut off his comms, so how's he supposed to book an Uber now?

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Anonymous Coward

Dumb question maybe, but didn't see it mentioned yet...

What's to stop his lawyers sneaking him in a privacy focused 3G/4G phone?

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Re: Dumb question maybe, but didn't see it mentioned yet...

Presumably, the Ecuadorians

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Re: Dumb question maybe, but didn't see it mentioned yet...

"What's to stop his lawyers sneaking him in a privacy focused 3G/4G phone?"

What's to stop him using a 4/5G phone to go on line? He could always step out of the refuge where he's been avoiding charges for skipping bail, he could do the honest thing. I won't hold my breath.

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Re: Dumb question maybe, but didn't see it mentioned yet...

What's to stop his lawyers sneaking him in a privacy focused 3G/4G phone?

Its an embassy, so presumably they have equipment to detect microphones. Besides, it's likely they'd become aware minutes after his first inane proclaimation.

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Stop

installed a jamming device ????

Er, isn't that illegal under UK law ? Or does it only jam *inside* the embassy ?

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Re: installed a jamming device ????

Radio signal power follows the inverse square law. So, if the remote WiFi is reasonably distant then the jamming device need not be very strong in order to overpower the WiFi, as long as it is relatively close to Mr. Assange's devices.

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Re: installed a jamming device ????

Technically, having a jamming device is illegal in Britain. However by custom an embassy is considered to be the foreign soil of the country, which is why the twerp hasn't been arrested for skipping bail despite being present in the mainland UK.

You can't just jam "inside" the embassy easily as radio waves typically go through walls unless you've redecorated with a layer of tinfoil behind your new wallpaper. That'd make an "effective enough" faraday cage which would screw with a laptop or phone enough without actually inconveniencing people inside the embassy too much by stopping the use of wireless totally.

Mind you, if the pret is a fair distance away a low strength signal probably could jam that to the point of being unusable without causing too many problems for other people.

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Re: installed a jamming device ????

I guess it depends on the rules around embassies. So if it's only interfering with comms inside Ecuadorian airspace, Ofcom probably can't do much. If it extends outside the embassy, then I guess it's a polite diplomatic note asking them to stop it. Which presumably also stops other embassies operating larger jammers or experimenting with EMP devices for lolz.

(ISTR during the Cold War, the Russian embassy grew a shed on it's roof. After careful observation, it was spotted as housing an antenna that slurped comms from a microwave dish on the BT tower. Not exactly diplomatic, but that's the murky end of politics for you.)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: installed a jamming device ????

2.4 GHz is an open band. Transmit what you want, up to 100mW I think. Jam away.

5 GHz is another matter, you have play nicely with the weather radars.

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Re: installed a jamming device ????

You can't just jam "inside" the embassy easily as radio waves typically go through walls unless you've redecorated with a layer of tinfoil behind your new wallpaper.

I would expect that to be standard minimum procedure for any embassy nowadays.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: installed a jamming device ????

Think about it from another angle...how often do you get wifi problems because of another wifi is overpowering the one you want.

Maybe jamming is over doing it with the description.

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Re: installed a jamming device ????

You can't just jam "inside" the embassy easily as radio waves typically go through walls unless you've redecorated with a layer of tinfoil behind your new wallpaper. That'd make an "effective enough" faraday cage which would screw with a laptop or phone enough without actually inconveniencing people inside the embassy too much by stopping the use of wireless totally.

Want my guess?

I don't think they are jamming in the true sense of the word.

If you want to keep him off Pret's wifi, there's a far easier route. Get some CISCO (less extortionate brands are available) wifi access points and configure them to send disassociate packets for any SSID which isn't yours. Then don't let him on your own wifi.

Given large hotel chains used to do this at conferences, I don't see any reason why an Embassy wouldn't also consider it.

It wouldn't help with 3G/4G, but then the patchy coverage we get from the mobile telcos might be sufficient enough for that. Though, I guess you could run a Femto to provide connectivity in the embassy (overpowering the main signal) and strictly control what devices can associate to that.

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Re: installed a jamming device ????

"If you want to keep him off Pret's wifi, there's a far easier route. Get some CISCO (less extortionate brands are available) wifi access points and configure them to send disassociate packets for any SSID which isn't yours. Then don't let him on your own wifi."

There's a much easier method than that which has the benefit of having absolutely no questions about legality (the reason hotels used to use your method is because they're not actually allowed to any more) and no possible way to get around it - simply employ someone to slap the phone out of his hand every time he tries connecting to the internet. No need to faff around coming up with clever techy/physicsy ways to block signals that could potentially be circumvented in equally clever ways, when you can trivially address the issue directly at the source.

https://xkcd.com/538/

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Re: installed a jamming device ????

There's a much easier method than that which has the benefit of having absolutely no questions about legality (the reason hotels used to use your method is because they're not actually allowed to any more)

I think that's also part of the 'open' band issue. Just because we don't need individual licences to use WiFi kit, it's (AFAIK) still an offence to interfere with other people's use of that band. So hotels can't interfere or Ofcom can jump on them. Embassies probably could because Ofcom rules don't apply within their walls.

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Re: installed a jamming device ????

Given that the device is reputedly in Pret, I would imagine said device is a knife (doubles as a buttering device too).

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Re: installed a jamming device ????

"2.4 GHz is an open band."

Read the T&C again. You're not allowed to interfere with anyone else's comms and the fines for doing so can be rather large if it's found to be deliberate.

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Re: installed a jamming device ????

"Given large hotel chains used to do this at conferences"

Until they got caught and had to pay up huge fines to the FCC. This fine website ran stories on those happenings some time back. I believe Ofcom has stepped in on a couple of occasions in the UK too.

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arbitrarily detained in the Ecuadorian embassy

That's one interpretation, sure.

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J27

The longer he stays there, the guiltier he looks. At this point I feel bad for Ecuador.

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"arbitrarily detained"

To detain:

- keep (someone) from proceeding by holding them back or making claims on their attention.

- keep (someone) in official custody, typically for questioning about a crime or in a politically sensitive situation.

- officially seize and hold (goods).

None of the above are applicable to Mr Assange. He is not being held back by the Ecuadorians, or in official custody, or being seized or held.

In fact, being where he is is STOPPING him being in custody, which is kind of the problem.

Sorry, Jules, it's really time to come out because even the Ecuadorians are sick of you now.

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Anonymous Coward

Let this be a lesson. Never let an uncastrated stray dog in your house, it'll shit on the rug and never leave.

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Coffee/keyboard

Never let an uncastrated stray dog in your house...

Ouch! The implied corollary to this is... ouch! But I suppose it would put an end to the other allegations in a post hoc fashion.

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cd

There are a few faces I'd rather not see, Zuck and this one come to mind. We know who he is, put the laptop on the beach girl in the photo slot instead.

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How to leave an embassy

I have a solution to the problem.

1 the Ecuadorians tell St. Julie the Ass that they have a way of getting him out of the embassy without being arrested by HM Gov. It involves the co-operation of the Brazilians. Basically, the Brazilian navy, as part of the first shakedown cruise of their new fleet flagship, PHM Atlântico nee HMS Ocean, will send a helicopter to winch him up from the balcony and fly him to the assault ship. He will then have a nice sea cruise back to Brazil and will be turned loose in Rio, hopefully in time for Carnival next year. I'm sure that St. Julie would particularly like the thought of using an ex-British ship to evade getting his collar felt by PC Plod.

2 at the appointed time a SH-70 Seahawk helo in Brazilian colours arrives over the embassy and St. Julie is winched up, to be greeted in Portuguese. The helo flies on out towards the Channel, where it sets down on a large amphibious assault ship flying the Brazilian naval jack.

3 as soon as St. Julie sets foot on deck, he is arrested by some US Marines, the Brazilian jack goes down and the US Navy's jack goes up, and a large decal on the SH-70 is removed to reveal US Navy markings.

4 St. Julie enjoys a nice sea cruise to the Caribbean. After a stay in south eastern Cuba, he is handed back to HM Gov, and after a stay in the finest gray-bar hotel in Britain, to the Swedes, who can now use him for his finest purpose: polar bear bait.

Ecuador and Brazil get some nice presents for their trouble. The poor bears might get indigestion.

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Devil

Re: How to leave an embassy

to the Swedes, who can now use him for his finest purpose: polar bear bait.

I would not wish this on any Polar[0] bear. Apart from that, Sweden does not, afaik, have territories where they roam freely. But being trampled[1] by moose is certainly possible.

[0] Nor Cartesian.

[1] bitten, too.

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Re: How to leave an embassy

There's an easier solution, the Ecuadorian ambassador could just invite the Met in to arrest him. It's their embassy, they can invite the UK police in if they feel like it.

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Re: How to leave an embassy

[1] bitten, too.

A Møøse once bit my sister... No realli!

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Facepalm

Next time he goes on the balcony, get a couple of big chaps to "send him off". Then he's back in the UK, after he lands on the pavement.

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Anonymous Coward

It seems like it is getting more like social media in here by the day - "I think Assange is a cunt so fuck him hard"

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You seem to be implying that is not true?!

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Umm, wasn't the original problem in the opposite direction?

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Paris Hilton

Paris accuses him of "changing lanes without signalling". He ends up in another Ecuadorian "prison"

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"Legal ways"

"... though president Lenin Moreno has said he is still talking to the UK about legal ways of ousting the fugitive."

1. Grab him by the scruff of the neck

2, Drag him to the front door

3. Open front door

4. Push him onto the pavement

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Re: "Legal ways"

Joking apart, how about inviting the competent English Court to have a special sitting in the Embassy? Then the bail-jumping matter can be resolved. After penalties, subject can then make his own way to the country of his choice, with whatever extraneous risk (not our problem) that might entail.

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Re: "Legal ways"

After penalties, subject can then make his own way to the country of his choice, with whatever extraneous risk (not our problem) that might entail.

I think we tend to prefer to deport people in Assange's position after they've finished their porridge. Assuming there isn't a new EAW in the meantime, that means we'd ship him back to the country he's a citizen of - Australia.

Of course, the egotist would probably take to Twitter and claim we've brought back transportation as a punishment, but what are you gonna do?

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Re: "Legal ways"

"Then the bail-jumping matter can be resolved."

Not answering bail is seen as a very serious offence by the courts so the "resolution" will very likely be a custodial sentence, which St Jules is unlikely to accede to. He will then stay in the embassy but will now have an actual conviction hanging over him and be even less likely to come out. In other words, a waste of time and money with potential legal issues of a UK court "sitting" inside a foreign embassy.

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Re: "Legal ways"

"Not answering bail is seen as a very serious offence by the courts"

For which punixhment at the first offence is normally a slap on the write and "don't do it again".

Habitual bail-breachers are seldom jailed (Observation from spending time watching court proceedings), and making an example out of St Jules of Asshattedness for his continued taunting would merely serve to increase his martyrdom complex.

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Re: "Legal ways"

Joking apart, how about inviting the competent English Court to have a special sitting in the Embassy?

Why? There's no good reason for the courts to bend to the will of this stupid little boy. He can stay on the couch until he dies, or until he's ready to face the music.

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Re: "Legal ways"

For which punixhment at the first offence is normally a slap on the write and "don't do it again".

Yes, if somebody hasn't turned up, the court sends plod to collect them and drag them in, at which point they pull an apology such as saying they overslept, forgot the court date etc and beg the courts forgiveness at which point the court shrugs and says "don't do it again".

In this particular case, the person involved deliberately put himself beyond the reach of the law and put two fingers up at the court. He's likely to get everything the court can throw at him, which is a maximum sentence of 6 months imprisonment of which he might actually serve 3 months before getting released for good behavior and being deported.

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