back to article Turn around, Capita: I'm trying but my pre-tax profits slipped 59%

Capita – the UK government’s top IT and software outsourcer – has reported a 59 per cent fall in pre-tax profits for the first half of 2018. thinking emoji scratches chin Capita still squats on top of the UK's software and IT services heap READ MORE The results, reported this morning, were met with an 11 per cent drop in …

  1. Chronos

    What's this?

    Oh, the smallest string quartet in the world, playing just for them.

    It's not blood, it's ketchup. I had a sausage and bacon bin lid for lunch and it leaked.

    1. roblightbody

      Re: What's this?

      Maybe a tiny violin for the very senior managers, but in general you're talking about people's jobs and mortgages, the huge number of people across the country that work for Capita, including people from companies who were swallowed up by them.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    the smallest string quartet in the world, playing just for them

    Sorry, that has been cancelled.

    The musicians were military personnel working in substantive fire and rescue roles, and they've all been "released" and replaced with an automated helpline ("Press 2 if your aircraft is on final approach and wheels are not down...) , and any physical element that can't be weasled out of on pages 192-387 of the SLA is subcontracted to Green Flag Roadside Recovery.

  3. LeahroyNake

    It's raining

    'It also pointed to efforts to update its data centre network to “simplify and consolidate the existing network environment with an objective of moving workloads to the Cloud”.'

    Ummm if you are their customer then you are probably using their 'cloud' or can we just say servers and be honest about it. They propose moving their 'cloud' to the cloud (Maybe they can call it cloud 9) so then you have 2 tiers of failure to address, good luck with that, don't forget your umbrella.

    1. getHandle

      Re: It's raining

      You'll probably need your wellies as well, to wade out of that puddle of shite...

      1. Sgt_Oddball

        Re: It's raining

        By this point you need a wetsuit, and possibly informing on where to locate a paddle...

        Maybe they can save money by making the stag party to get to work like the rest of us? ( i often see one of their double deckers doing the ring road up here).

  4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    The sad thing is....

    ...they are so intertwined into national and local government, and the way the stock market and banking system works, the drop in profits (note, drop in profits, not actual losses) could quite easily lead to a huge share price drop and increased borrowing costs and end up putting large numbers people out of work or even cause the company to fail, despite being still profitable and with fairly healthy order books.

    The people at the top get no sympathy from me, but there are many 1000's of people working for them, often TUPE'd over through no fault of their own.

  5. EnviableOne

    The problem with Capita is its culture and that is driven by management.

    Capita were running CRB checks when they started, you know who was first in the queue? not the fullly employed teachers, but Capita Resourcing Solutions' team of Supply teachers, and who got paid when the actually teachers werent allowed to work till they had a CRB check ....

    All their failiures are a case of under bidding, over promising and under delivering (due to lack of funds)

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dont feel so sorry. As an ex capita, my experience tells me they are the lowest of the low and they will stoop to any deprh imaginable, usually at the expense of the staff.

    They bid blind assuming theres profit somewhere and if theres is no profit then its the staff that will suffer in order to find a profit.

    The staff will for the most be tuped back into the original organization, apart from those that have signed up to the capita culture and those folks don't deserve to be kept on.

    There seems to be much vitriol in the same vein for capita suggesting my experience being far from unique.

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