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User spent 20 minutes trying to move mouse cursor, without success

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Coffee/keyboard

eeeww - gross

Just don't tell them to turn the keyboard over and shake it.

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Re: eeeww - gross

Relevant XKCD, as is tradition.

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Trollface

Re: eeeww - gross

AKA breakfast

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Re: eeeww - gross

Two trivial but important tools as a tech support drone back in the day:

1) Paper clip, for unbending and ejecting stuck Floppies/CDs

2) Bic pen top for cleaning the crud off mouse ball rollers, best tool for the job I always found :)

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Joke

Re: eeeww - gross

Board Chow!

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Re: eeeww - gross

A chap I used to work with once complained some of the keys on his keyboard were intermittent. I did what you described and beard hair, and cigar ash fell out. I daren't use the airduster on it.

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Facepalm

Trackball can be worse....

I still use a trackball as I get chronic pain in my wrist from using standard "mices". It's basically an upside-down mouse and with your sweaty, food, bogey, greasy soaked thumb constantly on the ball all the time, let's say you really don't want be there at the end of the week when it's "ball and socket" clean out time!!

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Joke

Re: Trackball can be worse....

Of course you could try washing your hands, both before and after your ball and socket cleanout...

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Trackball can be worse....

Oh jeez - there are some folks with trackballs here - I don't think they've EVER cleaned them...

My optical mouse generally gets its glidepads cleaned on at least a weekly interval. The keyboard gets a good shake when I know the cleaners are coming to wipe and vacuum round.

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

Tsk, tsk. İt's "meeses" not "mices" as any cartoon fan knoes. You also need to see a doctor if you have balls and a socket, as I thought they were mutually exclusive on the same individual.

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

@james_smith

You also need to see a doctor if you have balls and a socket, as I thought they were mutually exclusive on the same individual.

No, more that you need to see a doctor if you have balls (or not) and don't have several sockets - hips joints? shoulder joints? eye sockets?

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

I wandered into my local CEX and they use trackballs like me for the messy desk solution. I asked them if they had any trackballs in and one drone told me they didn't make them any more since normal mice were so advanced these days.

I let the other staff members correct the errant youth and purchased a Kindle Fire HD for my very aged mother to misunderstand.

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DJO
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Re: Trackball can be worse....

Trackballs being bigger than mice and upsidedown, I refer to mine as a dead rat.

They do accumulate a fair amount of crud but are simple to clean if the ball just plops out, some hold the ball captive which makes them a pain to clean.

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

I use a Logitech Trackman at home (the same one model CeX used to use), and it doesn't get very grungy and is simplicity itself to clean. It also works with an electrical USB to PS/2 converter (i.e. the little adaptors that just rewire the output rather than change the protocol) if your KVM is PS/2 only.

My only irritation is that connected through my KVM only three buttons are detected (both small buttons are detected as the same button).

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Trackball can be worse....

"...when I know the cleaners are coming to wipe..."

There was a period in our company history when we suspected that the cleaner of that era was wiping down everything down with the same rag. Urinals, toilets, our keyboards, our desk surfaces, our chair armrests...

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

I refer to mine as a dead rat.

I can offer you a variety of those - what state of decomposition do you require?

(It's the annual "rats trying to move into the garden" season. Not a career-enhancing move when said garden is home to 7 cats - at least 3 of which hunted for a living before adopting us.. And Senior Cat really, really doesn't like rats..)

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Alert

Re: Trackball can be worse....

Oh dear lord my work mouse is discusting.

Why did this have to make me look at the damn thing, have the clean the damn thing now.

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

I hate meeces to pieces!

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

And if you don't have both balls and sockets you may have hip dysplasia.

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

Some years back we arrived in a school I was visiting one morning to a ghastly stink of urine. Cleaner was using same mop for urinals as for floors.......

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At FuzzyWuzzys...

Admit it, you were bragging that you get to play with your balls all day & then complain when you have to clean them! =-)p Plbplbplblblblblbbbbb hahahaha.

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

Speaking of the track ball mouse, does anybody know, what is the point of the wireless track ball mouse?

It doesnt even move around the desk!

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

It doesnt even move around the desk!

Nonsense! Of course it does!

- Into the foreground when in use.

- To a different place for use with the other hand.

- Out of the way to make way for other uses of the desk. Like paper or food.

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Coat

Re: Trackball can be worse....

ou also need to see a doctor if you have balls and a socket, as I thought they were mutually exclusive on the same individual.
Either you haven't met enough freaks, or I have met way too many .....

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

Some people will get one of them removed, and the other installed. I guess it's also possible to simply have the missing one installed, for those that want the complete set. On the other hand, being a hermaphrodite isn't usually something you require medical attention for.

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

Of course you could try washing your hands, both before and after your ball and socket cleanout...

Of course you still have the problem of secreted oils and skin cells that constantly die and come off, forming that lovely grey or brown crud that gets over everything...

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

No-one heard of the optical mouse? $10 anywhere.

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

What has kvm got to do with pointing devices? I thought it stood for kernel virtual machine.

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Ahh trackballs....

I used have a little one I Blu-tacked to the top right corner of my Amiga 2000 keyboard, worked ok as an all-in-one unit but never found trackballs to be as easy to use as mice.

I also had a Genitizer graphics tablet for my Amiga, loved using that thing because it was so quick & precise compared to a mouse, and quite funny watching other people use it for the first time as they'd pick the pen up and move it as if it were a mouse to move the pointer further in the direction they wanted to go, only to find the pointer instantly jumped to the relative position of the pen on the pad.

.

As long as we're travelling down Nostalgia Road, remember hand scanners?

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

I refer to mine as a dead rat.

<SQUEAK>

Doffs cap to Mt Pratchett

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Boffin

Re: Trackball can be worse....

"What has kvm got to do with pointing devices? I thought it stood for kernel virtual machine."

In this context KVM stands for Keyboard, Video, Mouse, it's a box that switches one keyboard, monitor, and mouse between multiple computers. So the M has a lot to do with pointing devices.

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Re: Trackball can be worse....

$2 (wireless model) on Ebay! That includes delivery.

At that price, if it dies after 6 months, (or gets dropped and broken if your office doesn't have carpet, but tiled floor) cheaply replaced !

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Trackball can be worse....

There was a period in our company when that was actually happening. The cleaner in question received some much needed training...

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Optical mice FTW

until somebody put some prestik over the sensor window ... :D

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Anonymous Coward

I was working late once many years ago and put bits of post-it notes with smiley faces on every single mouse in the office. I had the next day booked off but I did get a rollocking when I was next in.

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First place I worked that got optical mice I had to replace several people's excessively reflective mousepads that were throwing off the beams.

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Anonymous Coward

FTW ? "prestik" ?

Write English, man! British English, of course!

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I had to do some" Citizen sysadminnery" while on a Speed Awareness Course and help them get the scratched , overused dvd playing in a laptop.

Thinking back I should have shown them how to transfer it to the C drive so they didnt have to contend with the optical side of things....

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Nope. Definitely not. Their bosses would probably have tried to do you under the Computer Misuse Act.

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Speaking of which,

Anybody got any hot tips on how to clean mousewheels?

They seem to be manufactured to be as unserviceable as possible in most models.

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Joke

Re: how to clean mousewheels?

Tell the kids to clean the cage or else...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Speaking of which,

any hot tips on how to clean mousewheels?

First find your most hated colleague and tell them you would like to massage them. When they lay down with their back facing upward, proceed to rub them with the mousewheel. Apply the mousewheel in small circular motions to increase the effectiveness of the cleaning. Similarly, the mouse ball can be cleaned in similar manner. After the mousewheel is cleaned, proceed toward the exit as fast as you humanly could to avoid withdraw effect from your colleague.

Warning: do not make any sudden sound or reaction when you see disgusting particulars coming out.

/joke

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Re: Speaking of which,

Take the mouse apart, remove fluff, put mouse back together. Be certain not to lose the little spring that keeps the mouse wheel in. If the mouse isn't easily unscrewed there isn't a magic solution, unfortunately.

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Re: Speaking of which,

> "Anybody got any hot tips on how to clean mousewheels?"

Dishwasher, if it doesn't survive get a new mouse.

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Facepalm

Re: Speaking of which,

> Be certain not to lose the little spring

The instruction equivalent of "a miracle occurs" like we see on those flowcharts.

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Dishwasher

That is worth a try.

If I get a spare mouse out of it I'll report back.

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Re: Dishwasher

Or you want one of the little bags you used to put washing tablets in and add them to your next washing machine load.

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Re: Speaking of which,

@ mycho et al this will be lengthy. and to many here old hat mostly. Ramble on..........

Have a plastic washing up bowl or better a higher sided plastic storage box to contain things that go ping, things that drop and all the bits, do the dissasembly inside.

Have either a bit of double sided or a length of gaffertape looped back stuck to the side to attach bits to in the order of dismantle, so as to reverse on reassembly.

Screws and things are hidden under labels and pads. Prodding with a pin finds under labels. A cocktail stick is good for getting bearing pads or rubber feet off. These will have a sticky layer which usually wont be good enough to reattach,* see later.

You need a guitar plectrum or old credit card sanded at about 45 degrees to a finer edge for when it all sticks together with latches when the screws are out, look at the moulding and you will see tiny tiny dimples where the little bastards lie, Mostly, YMMV.

For cleaning you need a plastic cup of water with 2 drops of washing up liquid and isopropyl alcohol, (* see later) cheap soft tooth brushe , cotton buds, ktchen towel, running water for the only plastic bits.

Do your worst, but write down any connectors or odd things for memory fail on reassembly.

If it is really gunky and has had coffee or worse coke spilt then wash it in plain water as there is nothing to lose, blow it dry with a hairdryer on cold or a heat I can keep my hand in indefinitely until no visible moisture, then stick it overnight over the back of the freezer.

Use of alcohol: if you click go for it, if not don`t.

Mice generally heve mech switches that click. Some keyboards are elastomer and may be short or long term damaged by exposure to alcohols. Anything with any sort of elastomer switch can only safely be water cleaned. They can also be damaged by new green water washable flux removers getting in.

There was a Colclene product safe on anything except the ozone layer it was a Freon derivative! (TF?)

*#1 Sticky feet, once taken off and exposed to air for the hours ( ahem,days) taken to fix something they lose their urge and go inert or gooey, alcohol wipe clean and use germany`s secret weapon UHU.

If you coat them and another sample to tacky test, when ok leave it a liitle longer , if still tacky stick em on, if you do it too soon the solvent may make it pretty permanent with some plastics.

*#2 IPA, why not Meths? The structure of isopropyl alcohol means it is better at dissolving grease and other non polar soils,( flux) while about as good as methylated spirits on the rest. It is highly refined and less likely to contaminate very expensive rubber components like the pinch wheels on on a 24 or 32 track audio recorder... If you cant get it buy polish spiritus 95% which is purer than meths as the 4.99% is water.

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Re: Speaking of which,

"*#2 IPA, why not Meths?"

Meths is "mostly ethanol" - but the part that isn't is "mostly methanol" along with some particularly nasty petroleum compounds that really do nasty things to rubber.

The fun part is that some parts of the world, IPA is universally used as rubbing alcohol and whilst you might think you're buying IPA, you find that it has some oil mixed in.

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Pint

Re: Speaking of which,

In this part of the world, IPA is made from water, malt, hops and yeast. Isopropyl alcohol is called isopropanol.

You can call me anything you like, as long as it's not late for the first round.

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