back to article Navy names new attack sub HMS Agincourt

The Royal Navy, always keeping up with the times, has named its newest attack submarine HMS Agincourt, after the 1415 battle where an English army beat French troops led by its nobility. Agincourt the boat is the seventh and final Astute-class attack sub. The nuclear-powered vessels are used primarily to defend British …

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  1. ArrZarr Silver badge
    Joke

    To be fair, they named the entire preceding class of subs to the Astute class the "Trafalgar class".

    It would also be remiss of me to not make some joke about there not being many places on Earth left where the French haven't had some disastrous military defeat.

    1. Gordon 10
      Mushroom

      Which obliges me to reply with the "How many countries has Britain invaded*" linky.

      https://www.telegraph.co.uk/history/9653497/British-have-invaded-nine-out-of-ten-countries-so-look-out-Luxembourg.html

      * For very broad definitions of "invaded". It is the Torygraph after all.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Thumb Down

        So sad

        That the Ministry of Defence still uses such outdated, uninspiring names for its warships.

        Agincourt for a warship dates from the fashion for all things medieval and classical heavily in vogue in the 18 and 19th centuries. It actually meant something to Georgians and Victorians brought up on tales of English medieval daring do. But how many 21st century crew etc are going to be inspired by an obscure six hundred year old battle that almost no one has ever heard of. Might as well call it HMS Dull. Was going to write we should be grateful they didn't call it HMS Agamemnon (who the hell is he?), but then I noticed that they have one of those already.

        e.g. If they wanted something that begins with an A, then e.g. the battle of Arnhem has modern resonance and there are enough films, books and memorials that people will have some clear idea about what it was like to be there. But it is hopeless for Agincourt unless you are a medieval historian.

        1. Death_Ninja

          Re: So sad

          "an obscure six hundred year old battle that almost no one has ever heard of"

          I take it that you aren't too familiar with major British/English victories much then...

          Or Shakespeare come to that...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: So sad

            To be fair I wouldn't expect most people under the age of forty to be....

            But it ends with no borders as your enemies call you bigots and racists, taking it all away...

            Happy I visited when you actually had a strong culture worth protecting...pre-eighties...

            Now you can't even carry a knife outside because its used as a tactic to fog your brains even more.

            SIG SIG SARGON.

            KEK.

          2. RedCardinal

            Re: So sad

            Just like 90% of the population under 30 I suspect... ;)

        2. Jove Bronze badge

          Re: So sad

          You need to engage with the outside world a little - switch-off, and walk-out.

        3. Joe Gurman

          Re: So sad

          Right. Naming an expensive nuclear sub after a glorious British defeat would make so much sense?

          1. Midnight

            Re: So sad

            "Right. Naming an expensive nuclear sub after a glorious British defeat would make so much sense?"

            The H. M. S. Brexit, perhaps?

          2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
            Unhappy

            Naming an expensive nuclear sub after a glorious British defeat would make so much sense?

            Well it was built by Billions Above Estimate.

            As the last one built presumable they'd finally worked out how to build it on time and on budget?

            Yeah. Right.

            Cue the whinning from BAe about the loss of jobs in the a*** end of nowhere in 3..2.1

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: So sad

          "[...] we should be grateful they didn't call it HMS Agamemnon (who the hell is he?), [...]"

          Surprisingly a lot of people would know the name. One of the characters in the recent BBC tv series Troy - Fall of a City".

          1. Roj Blake Silver badge

            Re: So sad

            Agamemnon was also Captain John Sheridan's ship prior to taking over command of Babylon 5.

        5. Rose Compass

          Re: So sad

          '[H]opeless for Agincourt unless you are a medieval historian'?

          I attended a comprehensive school in the 1970s, a school which had been a 'secondary modern' - for people who had 'failed' the 11-plus exam. In my local authority area, the 11-plus and grammar schools had been done away with - all schools were comprehensives, so attendance was based upon catchment areas.

          The fact that it had been a secondary modern - with all the legacy teaching staff - didn't put paid to history lessons. As recently as the 1970s, therefore, ALL pupils, whether they went on to do CSE Metalwork or GCE O Levels in English Language, Mathematics and Physics etc, or no examination subjects at all - learnt about English mediaeval history between the ages of 13 and 14 and before streaming took place for the final two years of schooling.

          What your comment appears to reflect, then, is the sad fact that in modern schools, only 'relevant' subjects are 'taught', giving us several generations of adults now who are all but illiterate in any matter other than that which enables them to earn their dough.

          [Checked with a paper dictionary before submission!]

          1. Ripper38
            Thumb Up

            Re: So sad

            @ Rose Compass. Up-voted, not because

            1- 'failed' the 11-plus - check

            2- 'secondary modern' (late 60s) - check

            3- ...attended a comprehensive school in the 1970s, - check (well actually 3)

            4- Medieval History - loved it so - check

            but because

            "[Checked with a paper dictionary before submission!]"

          2. GrahamRJ

            Re: So sad

            BTW, you're aware your name is that of a famous fictional ship, aren't you?

        6. Mark 85

          Re: So sad

          Was going to write we should be grateful they didn't call it HMS Agamemnon (who the hell is he?),

          That probably would have been to honor Nelson as Agamemmon was a ship he commanded and was one of his favorites... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Agamemnon_(1781)

        7. Mark 65

          Re: So sad

          That the Ministry of Defence still uses such outdated, uninspiring names for its warships.

          HMS Britney it is then.

          1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

            Re: So sad

            HMS Austerity

            HMS Budget Cuts

            HMS Lean and Mean

            HMS Agile

            HMS XP (eXtreme Power)

            HMS Vicious ("Sid")

            HMS Iron Lady

            HMS Blue Peter

            Fab Four Class... HMS John, HMS Paul, HMS George and HMS Ringo

            HMS Third Foot and Mouth (motto: "Always Ready for Action")

            HMS Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

            HMS James Bond

            HMS Rolls and HMS Royce (powered by RR gas turbines)

            HMS British Leyland (always in dry dock)

            HMS Troutbridge (for training navigation officers)

            1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
              Thumb Up

              Re: So sad

              You forgot the stealth warship:

              HMS Lucas (no detectable electronic emissions)

              1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

                Re: So sad

                @Antron Argaiv

                HMS Lucas (no detectable electronic emissions)

                Yes, when it comes to vehicle electrics, Lucas is known as the Prince of Darkness.

                http://www.mossmotoring.com/prince-darkness-joseph-lucas/

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: So sad

            That the Ministry of Defence still uses such outdated, uninspiring names for its warships.

            HMS Subby McSubface more like!

        8. Roj Blake Silver badge

          Re: Arnhem

          Arnhem went down in history as a bridge too far, because the allies failed to permanently capture it.

          I'm not sure if submariners would feel particularly inspired by sailing in a boat named after a famous defeat.

        9. GrahamRJ

          Re: So sad

          Surely they need to name one the HMS Aardvark. Then it'll always show up first on the list of world warships.

        10. LucreLout

          Re: So sad

          But it is hopeless for Agincourt unless you are a medieval historian.

          Or you've ever gleaned the smallest understanding of why instead of sticking one finger up at transgressors, the English traditionally hold up two.

      2. Jove Bronze badge

        Last time I checked it was only seven countries that we had not had a military presence in at some point or another.

    2. Jemma

      First rule of the Eskimos

      "We can always beat the French"

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        At least the Eurostar no longer terminates at Waterloo...

        The French themselves are no better. Gare d'Austerlitz in Paris is named after a Napoleonic-era battle that the French won. Of course, that's the French commemorating a battle, quietly forgetting the fact that they went on to lose the war, backing Napoleon Bonaparte after he'd already been proven to be loser...

        1. Nick Leaton

          Spot on.

          Lets rename St Pancras Agincourt station.

        2. stephanh

          This story shall the good man teach his son

          "Of course, that's the French commemorating a battle, quietly forgetting the fact that they went on to lose the war,..."

          Mmm, "Agincourt",.. OK, history class, who won the Hundred Years' War?

      2. Nick Leaton

        Which is why we should rename St Pancras, Agincourt station.

        For the same reasons trains from Germany to Paris arrive at Gare Austerlitz

        1. RedCardinal

          In the interests of pedantry, it would be remiss of me not to point out that the French defeated Austria Hungary and Russia at Austerlitz and not Germnay which then was largely Prussia, Bavaria and a host of small principalities. :)

          1. MyffyW Silver badge

            HMS Ajax would have been a good choice to honour:

            - The Greek Hero

            - The Battle of the River Plate

            - The cleaning product from Colgate-Palmolive (other cleaning products are available)

            Not to mention Amsterdam's association football club adjacent to Duivendrecht station.

      3. Craig100

        Reminds me of the story of Churchill planning his funeral. After the trip up the river, where the crane drivers were bribed to work overtime to lower their jibs, he was then due to travel North to his final resting place. So rather than landing on the North bank of the Thames and leaving by some station like Kings Cross, he insisted on being landed on the South bank. This was apparently because he knew General De Gaulle would then have to attend Waterloo station for the farewell from the Capital :) Love that story.

    4. RedCardinal

      I wouldn't mock too much given that Brtain has probably had more military defeats over the years than the French. Strangely enough you don't tend to hear about them in Britain...

      The other fun thing about Agincourt (and Crecy) were that they were French defeats but the French not only won more battles (which again we don't tend to hear about in UK-land) during the Hundred Years War but won the war overall.... :)

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Coat

        French not only won more battles during the Hundred Years War but won the war overall.... :)

        Was that in points overall or was their a ref's decision?

  2. Corwin_X

    A bit pedantic, but it's "we happy few" not "we merry few".

    1. LucreLout
      Joke

      A bit pedantic, but it's "we happy few" not "we merry few".

      Check again at last orders and you might find its "merry few".

  3. hammarbtyp

    I thought for sometime that the Navy should tale a leaf out of Space X's book and name the ships after Ian M. Banks Culture series

    "H.M.S Only Slightly Bent" anyone?

    1. RAMstein

      oh yes:

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_spacecraft_in_the_Culture_series

      "Now We Try It My Way"

      1. Dr Dan Holdsworth

        Naming ships after military accoutrements seems a good one, since sooner or later HMS Baldrick will be launched. Preferably by Sir Tony Robinson...

        1. GBE

          I'd vote is for "HMS Cunning Plan"

          Not that the MoD cares what some random USAan thinks....

      2. Fibbles

        oh yes:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_spacecraft_in_the_Culture_series

        "Now We Try It My Way"

        H.M.S. Ultimate Ship the Second

        Seems fitting for the Royal Navy.

        1. BoldMan

          HMS Stood Far Back When The Gravitas Was Handed Out

    2. Doctor Evil

      "H.M.S Only Slightly Bent" anyone?

      No, that one was sold to Canada a few years back ...

      1. Gotno iShit Wantno iShit

        Since we're all being terribly un-pc popping jibes at France I searched for this one I rather like, I couldn't remember the exact phrase:

        Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage

        I found it on this site which has a Complete Military History of France:

        http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html

        I commend that site to the house.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          England, France....Germany....

          We know what cultures will dominate soon so what good will subs do?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "H.M.S Only Slightly Bent" anyone?

        Left hand down a bit.... Everybody down!

    3. Jove Bronze badge

      I think they did that with HMS Rodney - one of Cammell-Laird's trademark bent ships.

      1. Craig100

        It was either Renown or Revenge, the Polaris boats built by Cammel Lairds, that had an unplanned for step in it's foredeck and was therefore named "The Birkenhead Banana Boat" in Barrow ;)

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