back to article Blighty stuffs itself in Galileo airlock and dares Europe to pull the lever

The furore over Britain's potential loss of access to Europe's Galileo satellite system post-Brexit turned up a notch this week – as a report blamed British officials' iffy approach to negotiations. The report in question, published on April 24 by Parliament's Select Committee for European Scrutiny, asked some questions that …

Page:

  1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

    "We are scoping the possibility of launching our own system."

    Is this also budgeted for in the 300M per week?

    Some of the sh*** we hear is now so far out, that one starts to wonder if Whitehall water supply has been contaminated with Bolivian marching powder.

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Or maybe something was put in the cakes?

      I don't want to do the memory of James Hayter any disservice but somehow "Mr Johnson does make exceedingly good cakes" springs to mind.

      "Have cake, eat cake, still have cake!" resounds around the Foreign and Commonwealth Office Bullingdon Club.

      1. Aladdin Sane

        The cake is a lie.

        1. Anonymous Custard
          Joke

          What they don't say is their system would be someone on a zero hours minimum wage contract with a 10-year old OS map, the road atlas from their car and a pair of army surplus binoculars...

        2. a pressbutton

          Cake

          Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the end of the testing period

      2. Noonoot

        What was put in the cakes is a load of hashish - that's the only explanation

    2. ITnoob

      Our network of satellites will be designed by Morgan and will feature a revolutionary construction method using natural cellulose fibres.

    3. TVU Silver badge

      "Some of the sh*** we hear is now so far out, that one starts to wonder if Whitehall water supply has been contaminated with Bolivian marching powder"

      I'd heard that they were going to pay for this Brit satellite system with yet more of the magic Brexit unicorn currency units.

      1. &rew

        Unicorn currency units?

        Wasn't that Scottish currency?

        Joking aside - What the heck? What's happening? Nothing makes sense anymore...

    4. E 2

      @Voland's right hand

      You were lied to by the leave side. Why do you expect them to tell you anything true now?

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I keep hearing sh*** from every direction;

      Remoaners who loved the EU so much because... hm. No cake.

      Brexiteers who think we're going back to 1925 or something. Sigh.

      EU politicians who smell a kill. Can we have your stuff?

      UK politicians with sleight of hand. What? Brexit? Ooh look, Syria!

      Honestly, I'm hoping that being part of a Global Union would be better, because otherwise Star trek totally lied to me. ;p

    6. Ken 16 Silver badge

      It won't cost that much

      Since it only has to provide location information within Great Britain + Gibraltar*

      It will also provide work for all the UK manufacturers who will need to develop SatNavs and mobile phones compliant with the new Kitemarked GPS standard.

      (*Northern Ireland will retain Galileo service as a backstop).

      1. /\/\j17

        Re: It won't cost that much

        "Since it only has to provide location information within Great Britain + Gibraltar*"

        Which would be correct if any of these systems were actually built so us plebs could drive around without having a sense of direction. Of course they aren't built for that, they are built so our armed forces can drop bombs on the 'right' things without the need for someone to sit in sight of it pointing a laser at the target.

        Building a system that only covers the UK would only be of use if we have a civil war, which hopefully won't be the way Scotland becomes independent.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: It won't cost that much

          covers the UK would only be of use if we have a civil war

          Well, those Cornish[1] *can* be awfully uppity..

          (I know - I'm married to one! Mind you, I always get the last words: "yes dear". The old ones are.. the oldest.)

          [1] Kernow bys vikken!

  2. Steve Goodey

    I can stump up a fiver, will that help?

    1. Rich 11
      Joke

      And I can fuck up a drainpipe, but that won't help either.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Isn't that an uncomfortably tight squeeze?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This does make it crystal clear that the EU regards itself as a federal entity with the powers of a single country, despite all the claims of soft-pedalling on "ever-closer" union. Next stop, the EU army.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "This does make it crystal clear that the EU regards itself as a federal entity with the powers of a single country, despite all the claims of soft-pedalling on "ever-closer" union. Next stop, the EU army."

      For sure, the same that the UK has done everything in years to prevent from emerging, pushing french troops more or less as the only ones to track terrorist groups in Mali !

      I find it very amusing the UK is "shocked" to be pushed out from any military related field, including industry which is an integral part, and Galileo, which is also part of it (it's a sub-geostationay system, like GPS, therefore not only for domestic use).

    2. ArrZarr Silver badge
      Holmes

      As an overarching body which contains the vast majority of the member states of the ESA, it is absolutely in the EU's interest to remove a country which is being politically hostile for No Good Reason as this strengthens the power of member states while weakening the belligerent state.

      The fact that the EU has gone from grumpily accepting that the UK was a big fish within it's membership to gleefully throwing the book at us while we look at our hand full of blank cards to their royal flush should come as a surprise to nobody.

      If this game were monopoly, we have no money and just landed on the EU's Mayfair with a hotel.

      If this game were Settlers of Catan, we have three cities around a 6 tile that the EU keeps putting the robber back on.

      If this game were Scrabble, we're looking at seven Zs while the EU has actual letters

      If this game were Snakes and ladders, we just fell down the big snake while the EU climbed the big ladder last turn

      If this game were Go, we just noticed that a key group has been put in Atari while we were concentrating elsewhere

      If this game were Chess, our Queen just got taken and that put us into check

      If this game were Draughts, the EU just took four of our pieces and Kinged themselves in the same move

      If this game were Magic the Gathering, we haven't seen a land forever since we built the deck so badly

      If this game were Yu-gi-oh, the EU just summoned Exodia following us making them draw a load of cards

      If this game were D&D, our cleric just died and ten more goblins appeared in a round.

      Have I made myself clear?

      1. Snivelling Wretch

        Are you saying that if this game were Twister, we have all our limbs in one corner and they just called left foot on red, and the only remaining red space is in the diagonally opposite corner?

        1. ArrZarr Silver badge

          @Snivelling Wretch

          All I'm saying is that if this game were charades, we're wearing a blindfold.

          1. Rich 11

            And if this game was Two's Up, we've just been fucked by a pair of kangaroos.

        2. eldakka

          @Snivelling Wretch

          Are you saying that if this game were Twister, we have all our limbs in one corner and they just called left foot on red, and the only remaining red space is in the diagonally opposite corner?

          Nah, more like:

          if this game were Twister, the UK have all its limbs in one corner and the UK was given a choice of what colour and limb to use, and chose left foot on red, even tho the only remaining red space is in the diagonally opposite corner.

      2. Gordon 10
        FAIL

        If this was....

        If this was a pack of cards we'd be playing Patience whilst the EU is placing Free Cell.

        If this was computer gaming we got the Netbook whilst the EU got the Neon Gaming rig with the VR Goggles.

        If this was DC superhero movies we would be Batman vs Superman and the EU Wonderwoman.

        If this was Marvel superhero movies we would be Ang Lee's Hulk and the EU Age of Ultron.

        If this was famous directors we would be Roman Polanski and the EU Steven Spielberg.

        If this was famous producers we would be Har

        If this were real life all the regions who voted for Brexit will be the ones who are most likely to suffer the worst under it.... oh wait scrub that one...its not an analogy.. its true.

        1. codejunky Silver badge

          Re: If this was....

          @ Gordon 10

          "If this were real life all the regions who voted for Brexit will be the ones who are most likely to suffer the worst under it.... oh wait scrub that one...its not an analogy.. its true."

          Actually the country is gaining the benefits of leaving. Oddly every time it looks like we will give in to the EU the benefits reduce, the remainers rejoice and want brexiters to be punished for voting leave while we are all losing the success because of remain.

          As for the article, oh what a shame we wont get to pay for and build the EU's toy for them.

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: If this was....

            "the remainers rejoice"

            No, we don't. We're saying "we told you so" because - well, we did tell you so. That's not the same thing at all.

            We didn't rejoice about the result because we could see what would happen. We're not rejoicing now that what we said is starting to become obvious because, frankly. it's nothing to rejoice about: it never was, it isn't now and it isn't going to be.

            A bit of mea culpa from the leavers would be appropriate but I don't think it'll happen. At some point it'll transpire that nobody actually voted leave because nobody can be found who'll claim to have done so and the result of the referendum will appear to have been some odd fluke of mathematics so we'll end up going back in. Giving up the pound in favour of the euro will, of course be the price, referendum day anniversary will be celebrated by burning effigies of Farage and the anniversary of leaving day by burning effigies of Gove. Something will have to be thought of the BoJo and the rest of them.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: If this was....

              We didn't rejoice about the result because we could see what would happen. We're not rejoicing now that what we said is starting to become obvious because, frankly. it's nothing to rejoice about: it never was, it isn't now and it isn't going to be.

              1) We haven't left yet. We're still in the negotiation stage. Nothing is agreed until everything is agreed, remember?

              2) All the things Project Fear told us that were going to happen the moment the referendum result was announced (instant recession, emergency budgets, etc.) have failed to materialise. So you'll perhaps excuse our scepticism when you make predictions about events that are even further off into the future and with more uncertainty associated with them.

              Remoaners such as yourself are mistaking threatening statements announced as part of the EU's negotiating strategy as gospel truths. There is only one concrete financial certainty related to Brexit. If the UK walks away without a deal, the EU will be left with a £14 billion hole in its budget. A pretty scary prospect considering that more than one continental European country is technically bankrupt, with several others teetering on the brink.

              So much for that Royal Flush! ;)

              1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

                Re: £14 billion

                Looks like (£350 million - rebate) x 52

                Well done for remembering the rebate. That makes you a better informed AC than 90% of Brexiters. After a bit of discussion with Bremainers, Brexiters switch position: instead of claiming all that money goes to the EU and never comes back, they pretend they always know the bulk of the money comes back in the form of development grants, science funding and pork. They then say the reason for Brexit is control: that money will no longer be controlled by a bunch of unelected MEPs (yes really), it will be controlled instead by the intelligent honest qualified professionals who inhabit the house of commons.

                1. Hans 1
                  Coffee/keyboard

                  Re: £14 billion

                  it will be controlled instead by the intelligent honest qualified professionals who inhabit the house of commons.

                  This is witty wisdom of the day!

                2. Nifty Silver badge

                  Re: £14 billion

                  “money will no longer be controlled by a bunch of unelected MEPs (yes really), it will be controlled instead by the intelligent honest qualified professionals who inhabit the house of commons”

                  Ones who can be booted out by their local constituents.

                  1. Dan 55 Silver badge

                    Re: £14 billion

                    Indeed. It is currently impossible to boot out MPs because EU.

                    1. H in The Hague

                      Re: £14 billion

                      "It is currently impossible to boot out MPs because EU."

                      I'm not an expert on electoral law, so I would appreciate it if you could explain how the EU makes it impossible for constituents to recall a Westminster MP. As far as I'm aware this is solely governed by UK law (e.g. the Recall of MPs Act 2015 which makes this possible in certain cases and which does not mention the EU).

                      1. Dan 55 Silver badge

                        Re: £14 billion

                        I'm not an expert on electoral law, so I would appreciate it if you could explain how the EU makes it impossible for constituents to recall a Westminster MP. As far as I'm aware this is solely governed by UK law (e.g. the Recall of MPs Act 2015 which makes this possible in certain cases and which does not mention the EU).

                        I was replying to Nifty and should probably have added a joke alert or facepalm icon.

                  2. ridley

                    Re: £14 billion

                    Except for a large proportion of the population that isn't the case is it?

                    "Safe seats in Parliament.

                    •368 seats are so safe the Electoral Reform Society has already called the result in them.

                    •25.7 million voters live in safe seats.

                    •79.3% of constituencies in North East England are safe seats, with 77.8% in Northern Ireland and 70% in the East of England.5 BBC May 2015"

                    About 5 out of 6 seats would need a swing greater than 10%.

                    I for one am sick and tired of living in a safe seat where my right to vote is meaningless as I am sure are the 25.7 million others in the same situation. What sort of lunatic voting system disenfranchises 40% of the voters?

                    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

                      Re: £14 billion

                      What sort of lunatic voting system disenfranchises 40% of the voters?

                      The one preferred by $RULING_PARTY. Status Quo isn't just a borning 3-chord pop-rock group y'know.

                  3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

                    Re: £14 billion

                    "Ones who can be booted out by their local constituents."

                    Unlike MEPs who can only be booted out by their local constituents.

                  4. strum

                    Re: £14 billion

                    >Ones who can be booted out by their local constituents.

                    You do realise that the European Parliament is much more democratic that Westminster, don't you?

                3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

                  Re: £14 billion

                  controlled instead by the intelligent honest qualified professionals who inhabit the house of commons

                  Or, once the futile search for one of those has failed, by Rees-Mogg and Boris.

                  Which means that we'll end up with state-funded bleeding by leeches on the NHS and every newspaper will have to be published in Latin as well as English..

                4. David Beck

                  Re: £14 billion

                  It's £180 odd million a week nett. That means after all the items you listed as "money coming back". And why develop another GPS, without the French involved we can use the US one.

              2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

                Re: If this was....

                "We haven't left yet. We're still in the negotiation stage."

                And the problems are already beginning to show.

                Burying your head in the sand is such an undignified posture. It leaves your arse sticking up in the air.

              3. austint

                Re: If this was....

                Saw the "remoaner" word, so can safely ignore.

              4. strum

                Re: If this was....

                >Project Fear

                ...was nothing more than a kneejerk response, a clueless Brexiteer would give to any question he couldn't answer (which was most of them).

                There was little comment about immediate problems (as it happened, the BoE, prepared for and averted most of the immediate problems).

                But the major Remain arguments were about long-term problems - which are just beginning to emerge.

                1. codejunky Silver badge

                  Re: If this was....

                  @ strum

                  "But the major Remain arguments were about long-term problems - which are just beginning to emerge."

                  Recession the day after a leave vote! Erm.

                  Recession once article 50! Erm,

                  Recession some time in the future which we will then blame on brexit. *Crossing fingers for the next recession to hurry up*.

                  It does look like remain arguments are long term when they keep running off with the goal posts.

                  "This is the most far-reaching negotiation in British history. Anyone who thinks it can be ended as easily as leaving the pub - is not a serious person."

                  I am glad you highlight me as a serious person even if you probably didnt mean to.

                  1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

                    Re: If this was....

                    It does look like remain arguments are long term when they keep running off with the goal posts.

                    UK growth has been below that of the rest of the EU since the referendum but this is just the uncertainty premium. In the meantime the expandsion of world trade is making a lot of economies healthier than they actually. None of us actually wants a recession in the UK because it's bad for us all, but if access to the single market is lost then there will be one, even if BoJo and Rees-Mogg personally drive the bus around and display their largesse by throwing cash (and cake!) to all and sundry.

                    It's also not just about a recession: the NHS is losing EU employees and the universities are worried about a squeeze on funding and also losing qualified EU employees.

                    Parliament, the body that is supposed to be sovereign, has just voted to stay in the customs union. The government walked away from a binding vote for fear of losing it. So, still no policy in sight. The longer this drags on, the higher the chance of things staying largely unchanged but also of a palace revolution in the Tory Party by the true believers, assuming that is, that they can get day release.

                    1. codejunky Silver badge

                      Re: If this was....

                      @ Charlie Clark

                      "UK growth has been below that of the rest of the EU since the referendum but this is just the uncertainty premium."

                      Actually no. Growth is where they were to where they are, that is the measurement. So here we have full employment and we left the recession while they were flirting with deflation. So our growth rate cannot be stunning, it can only be as good as a developed country at full employment under our regulatory limits. You are comparing that with the EU primarily Eurozone which flirted with deflation, high unemployment and self inflicted economic damage (crap currency). Their growth is catch up growth particularly reducing the unemployment figure by reducing the value of their currency and they expect to need to continue well into this year.

                      "In the meantime the expandsion of world trade is making a lot of economies healthier than they actually."

                      Expanding world trade will do that, it is good to trade, we should do more of it! Unfortunately EU rules dictate we apply protectionist trade tariffs against the world to protect the EU from global trade/competition. That is why they want us to agree to their rules when we leave otherwise we will have a competitive advantage (it is them who have said it!).

                      "None of us actually wants a recession in the UK because it's bad for us all, but if access to the single market is lost then there will be one"

                      Is this the absolutely certain recession we would have after a leave result? Or the one once we hand in article 50? And now when we leave the single market. You do know recessions occur approximately every decade? So if you keep saying one is coming then yes one will likely happen around one of the many guesses. But a country cannot be run on a broken watch.

                      "the NHS is losing EU employees and the universities are worried about a squeeze on funding and also losing qualified EU employees."

                      The NHS we import people from around the world? A specialist and exempt profession? I wonder if its the smart ones, like them doctors who if we leave the EU will leave the UK for that little known EU country New Zealand. And yes universities will be worried about funding. Just as they always are. I am guessing its hard to keep golf course management and left handed puppetry courses running without foreign students. Like those from the well known EU areas of Asia, Africa, US, etc as a number of my friends who managed to move here did. While my non-EU friends who want to move here cant because EU citizens get priority.

                      "The longer this drags on, the higher the chance of things staying largely unchanged"

                      A good reason for getting on with brexit instead of pandering to the EU. That would mean carrying out the leave vote instead of trying to please the minority vote.

                      1. colinb

                        Re: If this was....

                        @codejunky

                        - The UK growth is predicted to be the slowest in the G20! not even the G7 for gods sake. your rant on the comparisons to the EU economy is irelevant. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-43384718

                        - The Services sector make up 79% of UK GBP. Services are hard to export.

                        - To trade you need to produce things people want.

                        - Manufacturing and Farming needs to grow for exports to grow, how will that happen with Full Employment and lower immigration.

                        - There is full employment, but full of 0 hours contracts.

                        - The new royal baby has been given a french name.

                        - Trump has not been invited to the Royal Wedding.

                        All of these things may be related, or not related at all.

                        The Black Knight in Monty Python was supposed to be satire, not a handbook.

                        1. codejunky Silver badge

                          Re: If this was....

                          @ colinb

                          "The UK growth is predicted to be the slowest in the G20!"

                          Please read my comment- "So our growth rate cannot be stunning, it can only be as good as a developed country at full employment under our regulatory limits". Those limits currently including being in the EU as we transition out which means uncertainty and we are still bound by EU regs while coming out of it. Explaining to Charlie why UK growth and EU growth is not comparable because ours is actual/new growth while theirs is catch up growth is relevant to what he said.

                          "The Services sector make up 79% of UK GBP. Services are hard to export."

                          Yet it is being done- https://www.ukfinance.org.uk/ons-figures-show-record-growth-in-uk-services-exports-uk-finance-responds/

                          "To trade you need to produce things people want."

                          Pope is cathoilic. How does this add to the discussion (see above).

                          "Manufacturing and Farming needs to grow for exports to grow, how will that happen with Full Employment and lower immigration."

                          Manufacturing is up. We have full employment even with higher immigration of the EU (pre-referendum).

                          "There is full employment, but full of 0 hours contracts."

                          Are you suggesting the members of the EU could solve their unemployment problems by offering 0hr contracts?

                          "The new royal baby has been given a french name."

                          "Trump has not been invited to the Royal Wedding."

                          Who gives a flying? About the baby or the name or the wedding?

                          1. colinb

                            Re: If this was....

                            Services > "Finance Services". Finance is now only 6.5% of GBP, it was 10% pre bust, that's why its climbing back. oh yeah, 44% of finance exports are to the EU.

                            You get the difference between a finance product and a person.

                            Services are mostly people, consultants, waiters, leisure etc.. People are not widgets and cannot be duplicated and packed off for export.

                            There is nothing stopping a EU country matching Germany for exports today, apart from planning and vision.

                            "Are you suggesting the members of the EU could solve their unemployment problems by offering 0hr contracts?"

                            0hr contracts are are scam, gives an illusion of employment and inflicted on people who can least choose not to take them. Flexible working does not require 0hr contracts but suits employers of course.

                            1. codejunky Silver badge

                              Re: If this was....

                              @ colinb

                              "oh yeah, 44% of finance exports are to the EU."

                              So the EU would be pretty dumb to shoot themselves in the foot then.

                              "Services are mostly people, consultants, waiters, leisure etc.. People are not widgets and cannot be duplicated and packed off for export."

                              What the hell are you on about?

                              "There is nothing stopping a EU country matching Germany for exports today, apart from planning and vision."

                              Oops not a good comparison. West Germany succeeding through capitalism while the East Germany was economically retarded by socialism. Now Germany is in that interesting situation of an undervalued currency while the currency is still being pushed down further through QE. Germany is not a normal manufacturing example.

                              "0hr contracts are are scam, gives an illusion of employment and inflicted on people who can least choose not to take them. Flexible working does not require 0hr contracts but suits employers of course."

                              You didnt answer the question. Are you seriously suggesting the EU could fix its unemployment problem through 0hr contracts?

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like