back to article UK 'meltdown' bank TSB's owner: Our IT migration was a 'success'

TSB's Spanish owner Sabadell has proudly boasted about the success of its IT integration - amid widespread chaos for customers in Britain still grappling with the fallout out of a botched systems upgrade. Last weekend TSB was supposed to complete the move of its customers' data from Lloyds' IT systems. The bank split from …

Page:

  1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Egg meet face.

  2. katrinab Silver badge
    Facepalm

    "With this operation, Sabadell demonstrates its capacity of technological management not only in national but also international integrations."

    Well yes, I suppose they have given a demonstration of their capabilities in technological management. Only one problem, they are not very good.

    No doubt their supplier will get the contract to do the Brexit customs system.

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      It's all in-house, there's nobody to blame but themselves.

  3. wolfetone Silver badge
    Mushroom

    I'm so glad they don't run something important, like a major financial institution.

    Oh wait, right. Let me rephrase that.

    I'm so glad they don't run something important, like a nuclear power station.

    1. Laura Kerr

      "I'm so glad they don't run something important, like a nuclear power station."

      DON'T give them ideas.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      better training,,,

      if they had cut their teeth in the nuclear industry then this fuck up just would not happen.

      I bet I could come up with a migration plan including testing the migration so this bulshit does not happen..

      1. Instinct46

        Re: better training,,,

        What do you think the odds are that someone didn't do the tests they said they did and just nodded their head that the tests had been done during team meetings?

  4. TRT Silver badge
    1. psychonaut

      Re: Sounds vaguely familiar...

      i was thinking more like ferrero rocher

      1. wolfetone Silver badge

        Re: Sounds vaguely familiar...

        "i was thinking more like ferrero rocher"

        Oh TSB, with these outages you are really spoiling us.

        1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Sounds vaguely familiar...

          I was thinking more along the lines of Reacher Gilt. He would have us all agree it was a success (and he would be right, for a given value of "success")

          I'll get me coat. The one with "Going Postal" in the pocket, please

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did he also say

    the Americans are not in Bagdad?

    1. DavCrav
      Headmaster

      Re: Did he also say

      Presumably the sole downvoter (18-1 at time of writing) took exception to your spelling of Baghdad.

  6. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

    Eish... will probably go down in history as How Not To Upgrade Your Bank's IT...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Hold my coat!

      Says every other retail bank in the UK

  7. Rusty 1

    Perhaps part of the problem was that the CEO was submerged with his teams in the first place. No place for such a person on the ground during an obviously supremely stressful time for the techs, other than taking orders for all the pizza they can possibly consume.

    He was probably asking "is it done yet?", or "what does that red flashing light mean?". Likely followed by "why can't you go faster?" and "why isn't it done yet? - I have to play golf!"

  8. michael cadoux

    Top down or bottom up?

    I would like to think that the people tasked with actually coding and implementing the changes had been asked whether that was feasible in the timescale. However, if so, it would sadly be a rarity; usually the managers emerge from a meeting where it's all been sewn up, and the luckless techies are told to be positive and just have it ready it by a prescribed date.

    1. Ken 16 Silver badge

      "be positive and just have it ready it by a prescribed date"

      Brexit?

    2. IsJustabloke
      Facepalm

      Re: Top down or bottom up?

      "implementing the changes had been asked whether that was feasible in the timescale"

      Of course they were asked and then ignored .. SOP.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Top down or bottom up?

      That's exactly what happened. The original deadline was October 2017 to avoid the rise in Lloyds IT fees from £100 million to £200 million in 2018. However, that simply couldn't be met and so an excuse was mooted around interest rates or Brexit or something and a new date of April 2018 was chosen.

      Had anyone bothered to ask the testers on the ground what they thought, the answer would have been unanimous. It ain't ready and won't be for another six months minimum. But no-one asked and anyone with any sense got out of the project as soon as they could.

      Migrating an entire bank to a new platform in less than 2 years from start of requirement gathering was never going to happen and Sabadell was warned.

      1. JimBlueMK

        Re: Top down or bottom up?

        Hang on, October 17 to April 18 = about six months. Or are you saying that they should have been asked prior to April in which case they would have said give it another six months?

      2. Mark 85

        Re: Top down or bottom up?

        Had anyone bothered to ask the testers on the ground what they thought, the answer would have been unanimous.

        You're assuming that they actually had "testers". Apparently not or they some so incompetent to be just meaningless as not having any.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Top down or bottom up?

        2 years? Lloyds started working on this in 2011.

        Don't be asking how I know..

  9. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Stop

    Paul Pester

    a candidate for nominative determinism if ever there were one ...

  10. AndrueC Silver badge
    Happy

    The new Proteo4UK platform is an excellent starting point for organic business growth and improved TSB efficiency

    You can get organic growth using what comes out of a cow's arse so maybe that's what's being alluded to here.

    1. IsJustabloke
      Stop

      "what comes out of a cow's arse"

      You really can't.... nothing good comes out of a cow's arse.

      You need horses for organic growth.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: "what comes out of a cow's arse"

        "You really can't.... nothing good comes out of a cow's arse."

        The grass on my neighbour's fields says otherwise.

        1. Sgt_Oddball
          Coat

          Re: "what comes out of a cow's arse"

          I call bullshit....

          Mine's the one with gardeners question time tickets in the pockets.

        2. handleoclast
          Coat

          Re: "what comes out of a cow's arse"

          The mushroom's in my neighbour's field say the locals will be around getting off their heads.

      2. Korev Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: "what comes out of a cow's arse"

        You need horses for organic growth.

        Apart from the Black Horse bank hoofed them out...

        1. AndrueC Silver badge

          Re: "what comes out of a cow's arse"

          Apart from the Black Horse bank hoofed them out...

          Neigh, it's alright in the mane :)

      3. Red Bren
        Coat

        Re: "what comes out of a cow's arse"

        They had to stop using black horse stuff. That's what caused the trouble in the first place!

  11. Jemma

    Paul Pester... Really?

    Do any of these organisations ever consider people's names when they choose a CEO? off the top of my head only Nickolas Steal would be more apt for a bank CEO.

    It's almost as bad as calling a girl after a 70s Toyota (Cressida) after fate has stuck its finger in and given her the surname Dick.. And *then* she joined the police - Monkey Dust couldn't make *that* one up and they gave us Ivan "I only confessed so they'd take my nuts out of the magimix" Dobsky and Mr Hoppy...

    "People on the toilet" was far far far too prescient - although a 2G1C Kardashian cross over would possibly be the "end of the beginning" of a suitable revenge. Them and every soap - but I'm thinking pig farm slurry pits, head first, for anyone involved in Hollyoaks.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Paul Pester... Really?

      Mr Hoppy!

      Or more like...

      "So what is it this time, Clive. Why are you late back from the TSB?"

      "Well dear, you'll never believe it... I was just about to fill in some details on a change of account form when a highly skilled computer hacker who served time for infecting the FBI's Carnivore program with a computer virus, was forced by someone called Gabriel to use his hacking skills to siphon $9.5 billion from several government slush funds.

      Anyway, Stanley secretly coded a back door in his hydra hacking program that reversed all the money transfers after a short period. So Gabriel and his men stormed the bank branch, and strapped a ball-bearing-based Claymore to me and used threatened innocent people, forcing Stanley to drain all the bank accounts. And they kidnapped his daughter too. So that's what's happened to all the money from our accounts dear, and it really happened."

      "That's the plot of the film Swordfish. What really happened?"

      "I was being pegged by a 12" monster BBC across the console in the computer room at the bank, and I came all over the keyboards."

      1. Jemma

        Re: Paul Pester... Really?

        I can *so* see that in my minds eye - even down to the hang dog expression and the (in this case) slight limp... I wish they'd resurrect that series.

        And a Fran Chappell/TOWIE crossover - oh wait that already happened..

      2. TkH11

        Re: Paul Pester... Really?

        That's a novel definition of BBC I hadn't come across before.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Paul Pester... Really?

          @TkH11 Welcome to the Internet...

    2. colinb

      Re: Paul Pester... Really?

      Actually seems to help.

      My favourite was Desmond Pitcher, chairman of North-West Water.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Paul Pester... Really?

        I like the Linux whizz at JISC, I think it was; a chap by the name of Chown.

  12. Joseph Haig

    Lost in translation?

    Their logo adequately sums up the contents of that press release.

    Really, companies need to consider their branding when they start operating in foreign countries.

  13. Joseph Haig

    Where did it go?

    Is it just me or has the press release just vanished?

    1. Allonymous Coward
      Alert

      Re: Where did it go?

      This isn’t the level of service that we pride ourselves on providing, and isn’t what our customers have come to expect from TSB, and for that I’m truly sorry.

      We’re still seeing issues with access to our press releases. One of the steps we need to take to resolve this is to take our press releases down for a few hours.

      We’ll be taking this offline and we hope to be back up later this afternoon. We’ll let you know as soon as it’s available again.

    2. clanger9
      Facepalm

      Re: Where did it go?

      What press release? There never was a press release! Banco Sabadell prides itself on honesty and customer service yadda yadda...

      1. Tim J

        Re: Where did it go?

        The vanishing press release can be found here for posterity:

        https://preview.tinyurl.com/Sabadell-hails-TSB-ITmigration

        (Thanks to Google's cache and the Wayback Machine's archive!)

    3. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Where did it go?

      Lest we forget.

      1. Rusty 1

        Re: Where did it go?

        Oh that's lovely.

        "Total synergies arising from the migration are estimated to amount to £160M on an annual basis."

        WTF?

        Let's not forget!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          IT Angle

          Re: Where did it go?

          "Banco Sabadell’s proposal to be an agent of change has become evident..."

          I'd have to agree, just not in the way the rather breathless press release was implying.

          1. Jamie Jones Silver badge

            Re: Where did it go?

            As google cache isn't permanent... :

            http://archive.is/4AT2X

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

  14. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    402 customers?

    TSB said 402 customers had access to some data they would not normally be shown on Sunday during a "20-minute window".

    My wifes friend told her that she went to access her TSB account yesterday and got her husbands account details. So her husband trid his account and got his wifes details. I suspect as time wears on number will increase significantly.

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon