There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick Blank faces abound. No, not all are blank: some are horrified, revolted even. What did I say? Security is swiftly called. The usual routine, I think, as a pair of uniformed bouncers slip unhurriedly into the open-plan office, fire doors swinging gently behind them. But no – they come to a halt several paces in front of me and …
For anyone over the age of 40, these doughnuts look just like the crumbly bleached dog turds you’d see decorating every pavement curb corner.
It's a shame there's not a white one in that photo.
Let's have a commentard age census, upvote if you understand, downvote if you don't.
"like the crumbly bleached dog turds you’d see decorating every pavement curb corner. " - do these still sit on curbs or have dogs moved on as well and become cultural start-up freaks?!
Geez, even shit moves on in the world!
And what has become of the English language - it too evolves itself sprouting unusual innuendos. What do we expect as we all sit here, young and old, choosing emojis instead of writing "hey that's shit".
Excreted Faeces to us scientists. Has to be excreted you see since it is still faeces when it is in the bowel and the rectum.
Why yes, I have spent not an inconsiderable time taking out mouse digestive tracts from duodenum to rectum, slitting them lengthways and removing the contents*. Why do you ask?
*under saline and I was breathing through my mouth. Mouse lab chow is VERY fibrous and largely looks like sawdust until the latter stages.
I have long held the view that if you want to hear someone swear don't ask a southerner. They just don't have the right intonation for many swear words. Bastard said by a southerner sounds almost polite, by a northerner it is rightly agressive. Same with many of the others.
What do we expect as we all sit here, young and old, choosing emojis instead of writing "hey that's shit".
Don't get me started on Emoji's!!!
Shopping last weekend, and in return for an extra shot in my latte (that's not a euphamism), I had to drag our 4 year old around some tat bazar the Mrs wished to browse.
Mini-mrs runs off to find toys to look at, and returns hugging a giant emoji turd. She's grinning ear to ear as she dances about asking if I'll buy it for her. The staff are doubled up laughing as clearly she has no idea what it is she's hugging, it just has big eyes and a large smile.
"Go ask your mam if you can have it."
"The staff are doubled up laughing as clearly she has no idea what it is she's hugging, it just has big eyes and a large smile."
It's entirely possible she did know, my youngest *insisted* on a poo emoji chocolate cake for her birthday party,,, her friends loved it.
"Don't get me started on Emoji's!!!"
Oh dear Lord, yes! Just because you put a fecking smiley face on the end of your obnoxious request to have your database restored don't mean I'm gonna do it any fecking quicker, OK Mr or Miss Hipster?
I'm not a 9 year old girl, I don't need a happy face to soften the blow of a request. I'm a grumpy, fat, balding middle aged IT contractor! We're both grown ups, we can both be civil and adult about the fact that you deleted the wrong data or loaded the wrong code through the change request, we can agree on the fix and the paperwork, then we can both get it done without resorting to the sort of silly messages that my daughter her mates probably send each other!
Look closer --- face it! YOUR GETTING OLD! Your not in our demographic anymore...all you have to look forward to is showing off your fat tush in lime green leotards thinking about how you used to watch Spandau Ballet "music videos" (Remember THEM?) ripped off from pirate Czech satellite operators which your dad said was the best thing since watching Liam Ghallager getting truncheoned by a boatload of bobbies after an Oasis concert! You DO KNOW who your business partner is don't you?
They Speak English in What? So you understand what I am saying....What does OLD AGE Look Like?
Does it look like a B(*&^
YOU ARE NOT RELEVANT! The STATE has no use for you! You Are Obsolete! Obsolete! Obsolete!
Your life has no meaning!
Eeeeewwwwww Old People! Exterminate! Exterminate Exterminate!
Go Hide under you're cache of Simon Lebon posters and PRETEND that you are younger than Ed Sheeran's Mom and Dad!
You're Just an OLD FOGIE NOW!!!!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ahaahahahah ah ahah ah ah ah a
You had Pentiums in your day! I worked on Zilog Z80 and 6502's and even VAX-780's !!!
Welcome to Grandpahood ya Adult Depends-wearing spittle-drooling now-axed from IBM DB administrator wannabe!
YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY OLD OLD OLD !!!!
This is likely to spark a riot. Before long we will have people reminiscing about Opal Fruits and when Salt and Vinegar crisps were in a blue bag and cheese and onion were green.
Oh, and a Star Bar was a Peanut Boost. Slightly rippled with a flat underside!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qm_DkuxtmfE
kids were not allowed in the pub
Conversely proof of age was never required so if you could (at a pinch) pass for 18+ you'd get served.
Some pubs didn't seem to care, my school had a different uniform for the sixth form so anybody in the ordinary one was definitely under 18 so the fifth form had to use a pub a good 20 minute walk from school.
A drink and some exercise, what better way to prepare for a afternoon of study and diligent work (as if).
My sixth form pub, was a really grotty pub that nobody else would drink in, with a horrible grumpy landlord. Right between the school gate and the bus stop.
It's since become a Michelin star restaurant run by a guy who's now become a TV chef.
I tried to book dinner there a couple of years ago, and there was a 14 month waiting list for a weekend dinner. So it's literally harder to get into than when I was 16!
"My sixth form pub, was a really grotty pub that nobody else would drink in [...]"
After the Prize Day evening in a local hall the headmaster would take the dignitaries to a pub. A member of staff - probably the Deputy Head - would tip off the rest of the staff and the VIth Form as to which of two nearby pubs it would be. The staff and VIth Form then went to the other pub - staff in the Lounge Bar - VIth Form in the Public Bar. The serving counters were between the two bars - so the staff tacitly ignored the under-age pupils that they could see.
"Conversely proof of age was never required so if you could (at a pinch) pass for 18+ you'd get served."
In the 1950s the off-licence attached to our local pub (England) happily served pre-teens with draught beer - or at Xmas sherry "from the wood". Your parents sent you on the errand with a suitable sized jug or bottle.
.. and kids were not allowed in the pub....
A curiously english rule.
Scotland, I seem to remember used to be a little more lax - but in Ireland, especially in the south and certainly up to the mid to late nineties kids ran as much amuck as adults, usually high on the sugar from something like McDaids Football Special for most of opening time.
"Salt and Vinegar crisps were in a blue bag [...]"
Nah - the only crisps were plain, made by Smiths, and the salt was in a little twist of blue paper. Sometimes there was more than one salt twist. Some poor sod was reported to have opened a bag to find it full of salt twists - and no crisps.
If you were really lucky - you could sit on the steps of the pub and your dad would pass you a bottle of Dan dare Cherryade as well as the crisps.
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