back to article It's April 2018, and we've had to sit on this Windows 10 Spring Creators Update headline for days

Microsoft has yet to release the Spring Creators Update to Windows 10. We've been sitting here waiting with a story about the launch ready to go, and nothing. Now people are starting to talk. Rumored to arrive on April 10 alongside Patch Tuesday, the Spring Creators Update, aka version 1803 aka Red Stone 4, is due to deliver …

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  1. JakeMS
    Joke

    Wait wait...

    Wait wait wait, so they could actually be fixing a bug before it affects users? Did they actually test it this time?!

    Holy smoke! That would be a first when it comes to Windows 10! Maybe this release truly will be different!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wait wait...

      Holy smoke! That would be a first when it comes to Windows 10! Maybe this release truly will be different!

      They've changed the Blue Screen of Death into Pink Screen of Death.

      /joke

      1. yoganmahew

        Re: Wait wait...

        "some people found that their computers were unable to easily and automatically pick up any more fixes and patches from Windows Update"

        That's not a bug, it's a feature I've been looking for since W10!

      2. teknopaul

        Re: Wait wait...

        I have the Pink Screen Of Death already. Everytime my win box crashes (or decides to force an upgrade on me) it reboots itself into Ubuntu. Not my doing, seems this is a feature.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wait wait...

      How to make news from no news!

    3. Steve Evans

      Re: Wait wait...

      If the bug is in Cortana they might as well just ship it... Nobody is going to notice.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Microsoft’s business models require stealing and reselling personal data

    ....."When we talk about why we're upgrading the Windows 10 install base, why is that upgrade free? MS CFO asked during a meeting with Wall Street analysts. These are all new monetization opportunities once a PC is sold. Microsoft's strategy is to go low on consumer Windows licenses, hoping that that will boost device sales, which will in turn add to the pool of potential customers for 'Advertising'".....

    ....."CEO Nadella has referred to the customer revenue potential as 'lifetime value' in the past -- and did so again last week during the same meeting with Wall Street -- hinting at Microsoft's strategy to make more on the back end of the PC acquisition process. The more customers, the more money those customers will bring in as they view 'Ads'".....

    https://www.computerworld.com/article/2917799/microsoft-windows/microsoft-fleshes-out-windows-as-a-service-revenue-strategy.html

  3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Why the delay MS?

    the answer is that it is probably a bigger pile of shite than other updates than previous updates and will probably bork millions more devices and the lawyers have finally seen sense and told them "No. Do not release this [redacted] until we say so."

    Ok, so I'm dreaming but MS is just a distant dream to me so directly, I don't care. What I do care about are the ordinary users who will no doubt get well and truly shafted by this update.

    The guy doing my bathroom at the moment is tearing what little hair he has left out because the last update stopped him printing invoices and quotes for new work. I'll be going to take a look at it when he's done later today. He's the sort of person that MS screws up not us, the readers of this fine site. We (probably) know enough to sort the issues but the like of him don't.

    Never mind, the sales droids at PC-World will see a lot more people after a new computer in the next week or so because their old one no longer works. So there is a bright side... really... honest... (sic)

  4. Gene Cash Silver badge

    Mark Zuckerberg appearing before US Congress

    Could it be Microsoft is rethinking all the telemetry you can't opt out of? Perhaps they don't want to take a similar beating over privacy? Maybe Nadella looks at Zuck and goes "I don't wanna be there"?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Mark Zuckerberg appearing before US Congress

      Given some of the toggle switches relating to Windows Update were found to be operating opposite to their shown switch position (in Anniversary Update), how many of Windows 10 Privacy settings are 'accidentially' doing the same?

      Maybe MS decided to double check, make sure the Privacy toggles are really working as they should. There have been reports on twitter this week they aren't.

      (No, scrub that thought - that's just not Microsoft).

      I remember in early builds of Windows 10 insider how the laptop camera light would operate during setup. I'm sure Microsoft have collected a lot of 'loose data' from incorrect toggles over Windows 10 lifetime.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      'Similar beating over privacy?'

      What beating??? Zuk pretty much 'gave the finger' to lawmakers whenever he was asked about User-Data & Advertisers. See here:

      https://www.theverge.com/2018/4/11/17225482/facebook-shadow-profiles-zuckerberg-congress-data-privacy

      .

      Meanwhile Investors cheered, and commentators said Zuk stood his ground! I'd like to believe in the possibility you're right. But it feels like we're are on a slow death march to Tech-Stasi. Look at these 2 journalistic pieces from the normally very 'pro-US' Irish media:

      .

      https://www.rte.ie/news/analysis-and-comment/2018/0321/949109-social-media-regulation/

      .

      "Don’t share, don’t like, don’t download, don’t post unless you understand and are prepared to live with the consequences of your actions. Inform yourself about privacy settings and if you dislike the options or the results, then simply stop using an app, or better still, delete it.

      The old hackneyed phrase, if you are not paying for an internet product, then you are the product, has a strong element of truth to it. As a result, if you want to help influence behaviour in the internet industry the only effective way you can do so is by withdrawing your trust and your data, which are the lifeblood of the tech industry.

      And whatever happens, don’t take it for granted that tech companies, regulators or politicians have your back. Because if the last few days have proven anything, it is that they clearly don’t."

      https://www.irishtimes.com/opinion/opening-our-digital-door-to-welcome-in-tech-stasi-police-1.3155208

    3. Mark 85

      Re: Mark Zuckerberg appearing before US Congress

      Maybe Nadella looks at Zuck and goes "I don't wanna be there"?

      Nah... the ego of those in charge like him think: "I'll never be there. I'm too smart for that."

  5. Dan 55 Silver badge

    "we've had to sit on this Windows 10 Spring Creators Update headline for days"

    Correct, so far for two of them.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "we've had to sit on this Windows 10 Spring Creators Update headline for days"

      Given MS never announced the 10th April and there isn't an RTM as such, MS technically haven't sat on anything.

      But let's not get distracted from the MS data slurping methods being aggressively ramped up here in Windows 10, release on release, now everyone is sitting nicely on the sausage machine update conveyor belt, in which you can't jump off.

      Blithely excused with the MS bitch slapping line, "Well you didn't pay for it".

      1. The Original Steve

        Re: "we've had to sit on this Windows 10 Spring Creators Update headline for days"

        Have you used the insider preview of 1803? There's a boat load of additional controls added to let you turn off lots more of the slurp.

        So as it goes, release on release, we can actually rudce the slurp - it's not increased.

        But don't let the facts get in the way of a good rant

        1. joed

          Re: "we've had to sit on this Windows 10 Spring Creators Update headline for days"

          If any of this can be trusted, one can turn off some of the slurp in newer build. At the same time it's becoming more difficult to dispatch Cortana that creeps her way into tasks that never required connected search. I'm not particularly convinced by MS' intentions.

        2. jelabarre59

          Re: "we've had to sit on this Windows 10 Spring Creators Update headline for days"

          Have you used the insider preview of 1803?

          I had been, but then the spare laptop I was running the Technical Preview on decided it would no longer even power on. Which is interesting in that the *prior* machine I had been running MSW10 TechPreview on *also* decided to no longer power on...

          Your hardware will commit suicide rather than run MSWin10

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "we've had to sit on this Windows 10 Spring Creators Update headline for days"

        "Blithely excused with the MS bitch slapping line, "Well you didn't pay for it"."

        Well except for enterprise customers and anyone for the last several months (unless they used the workarounds)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "we've had to sit on this Windows 10 Spring Creators Update headline for days"

          As tag lines go, that one certainly hits home.

  6. Colonel Mad

    but it's nice to know Microsoft isn't just knowingly shipping broken code, WTF!

  7. nagyeger

    GDPR rights vs MS

    I wonder what happens if/when someone (on May 26th) demands MS (a) hand over all the data they have on them (b) delete it, (c) never collects any more, (d) does not contact them for advertising purposes.

    Does MS send them a complementary copy of Windows 95, freedos, or ubuntu?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: GDPR rights vs MS

      Probably a replacement biro and notepad.

      (In terms of privacy, it can work a whole lot better at times, like seldom used medical records historically held locally in a GP's surgery).

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: GDPR rights vs MS

      Maybe the delay it's because recently Nadella asked "hey, underling, what's this GDPR thing everybody now talks about?" - and after it, he started to calculate how a huge fee could impact his bonus...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: GDPR rights vs MS

      GDPR still has to be enforced... Where are the governmental and regulator resources going to come from - Ireland?! ... I can tell you right now, the Irish-DPC is too busy hiding to give a **** about you and your request being met! They are a mere puppet for US Tech Giants, and a buffer between Government and Journalists etc! The ODPC knew Facebook data-sharing with Cambridge Analytica was illegal years ago. They tried to shut Schrems up! Don't get your hopes up. Just stop buying Win10!

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

        1. LoriQ

          Re: GDPR rights vs MS

          Shadmeister - You mean what you posted is new to you? The first thing you should do anytime you use an app or program or Operating System is to check the privacy policy and check out what data they collect and see if you can block any of your data being sent. I have known about all the ways you can stop your computer from sending your data to Microsoft on Windows 10 since I started using Windows 10. You see, before I even started using Windows 10 I did some research on Windows 10 and found out Microsoft collects an awful lot of personal data and learned how to protect my private data being sent to Microsoft. I didn't see you mention the Microsoft Privacy Dashboard. There's a few things there you can delete your data that Microsoft has already collected. You can also see what Microsoft actually collected from your computer. In these days especially everyone needs to be aware of what they are sharing and to whom and to see if they can stop whatever it is whenever they use their computers or smartphones. I just cannot believe the amount of information, private information people actually share online. I haven't used Facebook in years. I don't see a need. I have deleted my profile and closed my account with Facebook. Facebook collects way too much data from its users and they share it with whomever they want. You can say but you can turn off certain things that Facebook collects. It doesn't matter. When you open an account with Facebook they know your name and email address and they also know your IP address every time you logon. Plus they know whatever you post or what messages you send and to whom. Nothing is totally private. Even this website.

          1. joed

            Re: GDPR rights vs MS

            "Microsoft Privacy Dashboard. There's a few things there you can delete your data that Microsoft has already collected." - the problem is that this requires one to create and login with MS account thus making it even easier for them to collect more personally identifiable information. Pointless if you've asked me. Once data is collected it's out of your reach, MS' word can be believed, or not.

      2. Bronek Kozicki

        Re: GDPR rights vs MS

        GDPR still has to be enforced - that's why I support NOYB

  8. Julian 8 Silver badge

    Beefed up Cortana

    It's being removed or going to use a search engine that can actually search ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: Beefed up Cortana

      They just made her fattier...

      1. Teiwaz
        Coat

        Re: Beefed up Cortana

        Beefed suggests the likes of 'brawny' rather than anything more adiposal.

        Sounds to me like she might be more aggressive...

        dungarees, boots and lumberjack shirts in the wardrobe...?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Beefed up Cortana

      More likely they made it transmit even more "background noise" back to HQ.

      Cortana, Siri, Alexa, all the same...

      1. teknopaul

        Re: Beefed up Cortana

        Do you think the author noticed this beef curtains reference? Phnarr phnarr

    3. jelabarre59

      Re: Beefed up Cortana

      Is it coincidence that "Cortana" is an AI character in Microsoft's Halo game franchise?

      1. Alphebatical

        Re: Beefed up Cortana

        > Is it coincidence that "Cortana" is an AI character in Microsoft's Halo game franchise?

        It's a bit well known that's where the name came from(like Edge's working name of Spartan). They just didn't change it for launch(unlike Edge).

    4. localgeek

      Re: Beefed up Cortana

      I disabled and hid Cortana immediately after installing Windows 10. I wonder if this "beefed up" version is going to override my settings and re-enable a tool I don't want or need?

  9. hplasm
    Coat

    Spring creators Edition

    It's a wind up...

  10. Ben1892
    Linux

    I've not booted into Windows on my home devices since it started failing CU patches post-

    Meltdown/Spectre (Haswell refresh CPU), so I'm really not going to miss an update for something I don't use.

    I have a question though what is a "Creators update" ? Why is it called that and why prefix with Fall/Spring without changing the "Creators" bit I was expecting a yearly name change, like "Imagineers update" or "Architectors update"

    1. Mark 85

      In a word -- Marketing. Why else? Personally, I'm waiting for the Bubba's Update just because of the way it sounds.

    2. elDog

      Since there are more Creationists in the US than Ecologists

      I dunno. Maybe all the tall mountains on the west coast were spoken for. Or cute names like Bob, Bixly, Cortana, Stormy didn't work out so well.

      You gotta feel sorry for this behemoth of a company that has continued in business at least 30 years too long. Anybody have a kid that says "I want to grow up to be a Microsoft Engineer"? Or IBM, Oracle.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "have a kid that says "I want to grow up to be a Microsoft Engineer?"

        While he plays on an XBox? <G>

      2. jelabarre59

        Re: Since there are more Creationists in the US than Ecologists

        Anybody have a kid that says "I want to grow up to be a Microsoft Engineer"? Or IBM, Oracle.

        I've just outright said my daughter should avoid the IT field entirely.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Because the 'new' Microsoft under SatNad is all about maintaining the hipster image

      Hence hipster names such as 'Creators Update' , 'Anniversary Update' etc.

      Simple numbering such as SP1, SP2, perhaps appended by the year of release, is no longer cool for the folks at Redmond.

      Other observable traits of the hipster Microsoft: SatNad seems to have raided Steve Jobs' wardrobe, back in the day Ballmer usually wore a suit during keynote presentations. Silly chummy messages in Windows 10 ("We couldn't complete the updates, Undoing changes." Who exactly is 'we'?) talking to the user like he/she is a child. Oh, and who can forget that logo change in 2012?

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge

        Re: Because the 'new' Microsoft under SatNad is all about maintaining the hipster image

        it was always about hype and marketing

        "We are excited" <-- like a dog when you grab the leash

        "will share" <-- psycho-babble speak for "let you know"

        etc.

        I actually had someone tell me to use the word 'feel' instead of 'think' because 'think' sounds too strong. It's based on THAT kind of *FEELING* (not thinking). Touchy-feely psychobabble PAP.

        And Micro-shaft's upper management is FILLED with that kind of "*FEELING*" apparently.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    " extensive rounds of testing"

    How very Troll, I mean droll.

    Reading that made me choke on my rice crispies.

    1. ma1010

      Re: " extensive rounds of testing"

      @Ian Emery

      Yes, LMAO! El Reg owes us both a new keyboard.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    MS is also the abbreviation of a particularly unpleasant autoimmune disorder.

    Coincidence ?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is it called Spring Creators edition because it'll create a shit load of issues.

  14. TheresaJayne

    Every creators update on my friend's computer has had the following 2 effects

    1) uninstall Malwarebytes antimalware (paid version)

    2) uninstall the old windows 7 Mahjongg they obtained and installed with a seperate launcher

  15. The Average Joe Bloggs

    cant win

    If they release on time and find bugs, they get flamed. If they delay in order to fix bugs, they get flamed.

    Microsoft simply cannot win, even though for the vast majority of users, myself included, rarely have any issues at all with windows.

    People just like to moan, half of them probably dont use windows anyway, but like their meaningless opinion heard anyway.

    Fantastic, you use linux, good job on that. Next you guys will be blaming the delay on Brexit, as everything else that goes wrong is blamed on brexit

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