back to article Another day, another self-flying car pipe dream surfaces

Audi and Airbus are pondering a self-driving car that can also fly, according to the latest Ripley* statement from a hype-filled sector. The "entirely electric, fully automatic concept" of a "horizontal and vertical mobility" vehicle is just a pipe dream for now, though it might pave the way for a tangible product much, much …

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  1. hplasm
    Devil

    Audi self driving flying car.

    You had me after self-driving Audi.

    Please do not allow manual override.

    Flying is a bonus.

  2. Oh la la...

    That's all we need

    Will a flying Audi also be designed to fly as close as possible to the flying car in front whilst flashing its headlights in an aggressive manner, before overtaking on the left??

    1. Rich 11

      Re: That's all we need

      And driven by a bloke named Gene.

      1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

        Re: That's all we need

        And driven by a bloke named Gene.

        You mean this collaboration isn't being called "Project Gene". And will turn out to be all a demented fantasy.

        And since the resulting vehicle will almost certainly have four rotors they have to call it a Quattro" won't they.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: That's all we need

      "before overtaking on the left"

      If you were driving on the left, instead of hogging an outside lane, then perhaps this wouldn't happen?

      1. K

        Re: That's all we need

        There is never any justifiable reason to overtake/undertake on the left (For non-UK readers, swap Left with Right!).. it's stupid, dangerous and more likely to get you kill.

        Likewise, If some person is sitting in the outside lane, doing 50Mph and they can move over, then flash them... If they don't move over, then report them to the police for dangerous or hazardous driving.

        1. MK_E

          Re: That's all we need

          You shouldn't ever pass somebody on the inside.

          This is because it shouldn't be possible to pass somebody on the inside.

          If it is possible for you to pull over to the inside lane, pass the vehicle that is currently occupying the outside lane, and return to the outside lane, without cutting into their braking distance or placing the inside lane's traffic within your braking distance, then whatever vehicle you are passing is in the wrong lane.

          If it is ever physically possible for someone to safely pass YOU on the inside, pull the hell over until you're actually ready to pass.

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: That's all we need

            You shouldn't ever pass somebody on the inside

            Unless you are on a bike of some sort. See my comment above.

          2. Santa from Exeter

            Re: That's all we need

            Whilst you are technically correct I have lost count of the number of times that I pass CLOC* members in the outside lane of a motorway whilst doing 70MPH, only to have an Audi undertake both of us at 90+ in the inside lane.

            *Centre Lane Owners Club, according to a Motorway Copper I know :-)

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: That's all we need

              Looks like the Audi to Peugeot ratio on this site is around 8:25 judging by my earlier comment :-)

        2. John Riddoch

          Re: That's all we need

          "There is never any justifiable reason to overtake/undertake on the left"

          Wrong. Read your Highway Code. There are at least two viable examples I can recall cited as valid reasons to pass on the left.

        3. F0rdPrefect
          FAIL

          Re: That's all we need

          K, Try driving on the M25.

          I regularly am pottering along in lane 1 (the left lane) and going faster than the nose to tail traffic in lanes 3 and 4.

          Should I slow down so that I don't pass the idiots? Or just continue driving with the HGVs?

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: That's all we need

          If they don't move over, then report them to the police for dangerous or hazardous driving.

          I must admire the charming naïvety of that line - as if they would do anything with it. Unless reducing bad lane discipline gives them government points they'll more or less politely take your details and ignore whatever you reported before you have even left the station or put the phone down. I'm not saying they would not WANT to follow up, but it appears we want these people to do everything on 1/10th of the budget they need to do their job and something has to give.

          Nowadays it appears more effective if you post any dashcam footage online as that causes embarrassment by both police and lane hogger. Not that I like it, but if your aim is to make at least something happen, that seems to be the way now.

        5. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: That's all we need

          There is never any justifiable reason to overtake/undertake on the left

          ..unless you are on a motorbike and filtering[1] between two lines of cars. Yes, it's dangerous. Yes, I've had morons in cars get so enraged at the prospect that they've moved over to try to block me[2] but, in general, it's one of the major advantages of being on a bike in traffic.

          Sadly, I can't ride a bike any more because of arthritis - not unless I spend lots of money on the brake and clutch levers.

          [1] Lane-splitting in the US. Here, it's entirely legal and allowed in the Hoghway[3] Code. And the majority of people are not bothered (and a minority - including me - having been on the other side of things, make space for the bike to pass easily)

          [2] What the idiots don't understand is that, if they've moved over to try and block me, is that there's a much wider gap that they have left on the other side. And, given that a bike is much more manouverable than a car, it just means that I'll cross behind them and pass on the open side. With a jaunty wave :-)

          [3] Entirely amusing mis-speelink. So left untouched..

      2. Steve Knox

        Re: That's all we need

        "before overtaking on the left"

        If you were driving on the left, instead of hogging an outside lane, then perhaps this wouldn't happen?

        You're assuming OP wasn't driving on the left already.

        Here in the States, the analogue is Massachusetts drivers -- they'll pass you on the right -- while you're changing a tire...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Hate the idiots who sit in the passing lane

          I pass many cars for every one that passes me, but I never stay in the passing lane when the "slow" lane is clear. That's actually illegal in most US states, and IMHO should be illegal everywhere.

          Between lazy fools who like to stay in the passing lane because they can't be bothered to watch for cars coming down ramps that will require them to move over, and the self appointed speed enforcers who think driving the speed limit gives them the right to squat in the passing lane indefinitely, there are way too damn many people who think they drive safely but do not.

          1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
            Go

            Re: Hate the idiots who sit in the passing lane

            In Canada the "slow" lane has a nasty habit of turning into exits or disappearing with very little notice into non-existence.

            http://i.imgur.com/b8F11b5.png

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "before overtaking on the left??"

      Well, it's actually perfectly legal here...

      "whilst flashing its headlights in an aggressive manner"

      That's why planes have strobe lights, isn't it??

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Audi overtaking on the left?

      You must have been behind me as I travelled east along the A12 last friday morning. There was plenty of room to overtake on the right but no... We were just passing a junction and the Audi swung into the sliproad and went past me on the left. At the same time he flashed his lights, sounded his horn and gave me the finger. All because I was driving at 60mph and not 100mph.

  3. jeffdyer

    Ripley's is a 'merkin franchise, not a London biz.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Jack the ripper was the lock ness monster. Fact.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2yVZCVLK3E

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Jack the ripper was the lock ness monster. Fact.

      What is lock ness? The suitability of a lock to its task?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Jack the ripper was the lock ness monster. Fact.

        I get to reference one of my favourite films and I get a downvote, Who knew?

        1. handleoclast

          Re: Jack the ripper was the lock ness monster. Fact.

          I get to reference one of my favourite films and I get a downvote

          Perhaps because people expected the clip to be funny or otherwise entertaining. Or even relevant, in some way, to the article.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Jack the ripper was the lock ness monster. Fact.

            @handleoclast

            Sure lets go with irrelevance as the article references Ripleys believe it or not.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo4xAKY7K6k

        2. Teiwaz

          Re: Jack the ripper was the lock ness monster. Fact.

          I get to reference one of my favourite films and I get a downvote, Who knew?

          Someone mentioned funny, entertaining or relevant.

          Otherwise the 'librarians' hanging around will make their own entertainment with whatever's handy, like spelling errors.

      2. RJG

        Re: Jack the ripper was the lock ness monster. Fact.

        It is the lock on the caledonian canal leading to loch Ness.

        The English seem to think a monster lives in the lock.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Jack the ripper was the lock ness monster. Fact.

          The English seem to think a monster lives in the lock

          S/English/gullible idiots/g *

          (Of course, that class may well include people of the English persuasion. Idiocy has no nationality..)

  5. Neil 32

    Magical screen

    That grows 7" between sub-head and article body!

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: Magical screen

      Vulture Central may have equaled Vulture South for featuring a story with 49inch screen, but Vulture South managed to get one in...

      https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/03/05/samsung_chg90_49_inch_monitor_review/

  6. Blockchain commentard

    You need to get on my flying pig ro reach this pie in the sky !!!

  7. Jemma

    You know...

    I've always wondered where you fit the starting handle on a flying pig...?

    still, it could be worse, it could be a coffman starter...

    "I'm going to do this one with the ignition off to clear the cylinders..."

    *baconsplosion*

    1. WolfFan Silver badge
      Angel

      Re: You know...

      I've always wondered where you fit the starting handle on a flying pig...?

      Depends. Is it a flying boar or a flying sow?

    2. Chris G

      Re: You know...

      If these flying pigs come with flight programming or radio control, I'm in!

      I have a few jobs needing doing that would be perfect for a flying pig.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: You know...

        I have a few jobs needing doing that would be perfect for a flying pig.

        Especially about 4 hours after they have eaten all the curry leftovers?

    3. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
      Black Helicopters

      Re: You know...

      "The Flight of The Phoenix" (Original).

      1. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

        Re: You know...

        Have read the book ages ago, and it was a most fascinating read for a younger me.

  8. steelpillow Silver badge
    Boffin

    Earliest flying car

    Well, Popular mechanics can't be believed. Henson and Stringfellow's Aerial Steam Carriage was not a f lying car but a fixed-wing aeroplane, it had no road capability. The earliest I know of is that of Gustave Whitehead, born Gustav Weisskopf, who is best known for his supporters' claim that he flew before the Wright brothers, around 1901. The contentious machine was actually a flying car with folding wings and Whitehead drove it to its intended takeoff site. What happened next depends on whose side you are on...

  9. JeffyPoooh
    Pint

    Yay !! I've already placed my order !!

    My order of an extra-large cartridge of 'Audi-Airbus Entirely Electric Fully Automatic Horizontal and Vertical Mobility Vehicle' paste for my 3D Printer is on the way!!

    It's supposed to be here Real Soon Now.

  10. Daedalus

    Obstacles

    The obstacles to flying cars have little to do with licensing. Everything that makes a car a good car makes it a lousy aircraft. Everything that makes an aircraft a good aircraft makes it a lousy car.

    1. Mark 85

      Re: Obstacles

      Reminds of the amphibious cars they used to sell decades ago. Minor things like doors created problems for the car part (no doors) and doors would cause problems for the boat part (leaks). Propulsion was a mechanical nightmare. I saw one as a kid and watched it slowly sink in the lake and wondered why would anyone try to combine two vehicles into one?

      1. WolfFan Silver badge

        Re: Obstacles

        Amphibious trucks and four-wheel-drive vehicles have a specific military use: logistical support over both water and land. They're not so good at assaulting across water, as they lack armor and serious weapons, but once a beachhead is secure, they can move supplies and personnel over water and inland quite efficiently. Amphibious trucks also have specific civilian uses: number one is tourism in certain precise situations. There are amphibious trucks set up as passenger vehicles providing tours of places like the Everglades in Florida and sections of Chesapeake Bay in Maryland and Delaware. Number two is operating as ferries in more remote areas, where the military nature of the truck part becomes very useful. (many such ferries are descendants of the US Army's DUKW 6x6 amphibious truck, which saw duty in Europe starting in June 1944 and later in the Pacific and then in Korea and Vietnam.) Because of the heavy-duty truck systems, they can and will operate on very poor road surfaces. Number three is operating as emergency rescue vehicles for coastal, riverine, and such duties. Those vehicles can get to places where neither boats nor ordinary land vehicles, except for hovercraft, which are much more expensive, can go. Number four is as a vehicle for use in hunting in remote areas. They are expensive, but, like the rescue vehicles, can get into places that boats and ordinary land vehicles cannot.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Obstacles

          many such ferries are descendants of the US Army's DUKW 6x6 amphibious truck

          And still as crap as they were first time round, to judge by serious and sometimes fatal incidents in Philadelphia, Arkansas, Seattle, Ontario, Liverpool and London.

          1. WolfFan Silver badge

            Re: Obstacles

            many such ferries are descendants of the US Army's DUKW 6x6 amphibious truck

            And still as crap as they were first time round, to judge by serious and sometimes fatal incidents in Philadelphia, Arkansas, Seattle, Ontario, Liverpool and London.

            In large part that is because the drivers of those things tend to behave as if it were a car on land, when it is a truck and if you don't treat it as a truck, there will be tears. On the water it's a boat with very low freeboard and a very low speed.

            Military amphibious truck drivers get trained in first how to drive a truck and then how to drive a slow, small, boat with limited freeboard. If amphibious trucks are operated correctly, they are (relatively) safe. If they are treated as a car which floats, they are accidents waiting to happen. They have high centers of gravity when on land, which means they will roll. Fatalities have occurred when some amphibious trucks rolled. Fatalities have occurred when some amphibious trucks were used in heavy surf. Problems have occurred when amphibious trucks were used in the wrong conditions, such as when the ground is too muddy and soft for their wheels to gain traction, but isn't fluid enough to allow the vehicle to be used as a boat. Indirect fatalities have occurred, mostly due to the vehicle's operators doing something else stupid after being stupid enough to take the truck into conditions where it got stuck.

      2. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

        Re: Obstacles

        ... aaaaah, like the Dutton Amphibious,.... crap little car, ... horrid little boat,.. but maybe, just maybe, all it needs is wings. And a catapult.

    2. Grikath

      Re: Obstacles

      People always forget the biggest and most lethal ( from a practical point of view) problem: The. Damned. Noise.

    3. TrumpSlurp the Troll
      Black Helicopters

      Re: Obstacles

      With you all the way on that.

      Trying to picture a Microlight with full crash protection to Euro NCAP 5* rating.

      Wings? Will it fit in a Lidl parking space?

      I really am struggling to visualise a vehicle with the footprint of, say, an Audi A4 which can safely take off and land and also achieve 50 mpg or better on a long run.

      Looks like you need the functionality of a helicopter without that big whirly thing that can hurt people extending beyond the vehicle footprint and a failsafe landing system good when the power train has an issue.

      I seem to think that the regular servicing requirements for flying things are more onerous than for driving things as well.

  11. joeldillon

    Used to be? Ripley's Believe It or Not is still there, last I heard...

    1. Simon Harris

      http://ripleyslondon.com/

      The London one is closed, apparently while they "actively search for a new location". You'll have to go to another country now, or Blackpool (which some may consider to be another country) if you want to find a Ripley's.

  12. Kaltern

    Sigh.

    How long is it going to be before these 'manufacturers' realise that 100% self driving/flying vehicles are simply NOT going to happen any time soon? It almost seems to me that these guys are playing a 'me too' PR game, somehow believing they're going to be left out of some juicy profiteering.

    Level 5 self-driving automobility is nothing more than a pipedream. The only way it could ever work is if every single vehicle on the road was also automated, and linked to the same network. And even then, they just cannot work reliably in urban settings, as has been shown countless times. Roads would need to be 100% pedestrian free, and only 4+ wheeled vehicles need apply.

    This is all happening far too soon. Pushing tech that isn't ready is simply going to cause more problems that it might have solved. Come back when every vehicle on the road is electric, and all self-driving system developers are co-operating with each other.

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