back to article Crypto-gurus: Which idiots told the FBI that Feds-only backdoors in encryption are possible?

Four cryptography experts have backed a US Senator's campaign to force the FBI to explain how exactly a Feds-only backdoor can be added to strong and secure encryption. The four are: Stanford professor Martin Hellman, of Diffie-Hellman fame and who helped invent the foundations of today's crypto systems; Columbia professor and …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is this one of those invisible girl friend from Canada kind of deals?

    1. DNTP

      Invisible GF from Canada

      She's totally real I swear and I'm the only one with access to her backdoor.

    2. Rattus Rattus

      Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver!

    3. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Coat

      Is this one of those invisible girl friend from Canada kind of deals?

      Good question.

      It's a very smart political move. Either they think this with no basis in reality other than "We wants it," or someone actually told them they could have this and they have to name the scam artist "researcher(s)*" in question.

      *Lagos University perhaps?

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Is this one of those invisible girl friend from Canada kind of deals?

        If your Lagos theory is correct one would assume the backdoor key is 419, because nobody would guess that

        Sorry, couldn't resist

  2. Aqua Marina

    Anyone want to make a lot of money?

    Approaching this from a business perspective. Our lords and masters have decreed that something must be done. They will not listen to those with suitable knowledge, so the only thing left to do is to give them something, anything and make a bloody f*ckton of money while doing it. Very soon someone else will have this idea and will make a f*ckton of money from it. Probably someone like BAE or Lockheed Martin. The final results do not matter. The fact that someone up high can tick a box that says “it is done” is sufficient. Start a company, sell magic thinking. Close down after a few years and retire to somewhere warm and cheap.

    So, are you going to complain that what is being asked for is impossible, or are you going to follow the American dream and profit from it?

    1. Wensleydale Cheese
      Joke

      Re: Anyone want to make a lot of money?

      "Approaching this from a business perspective. Our lords and masters have decreed that something must be done. "

      Much the same idea occurred to me when reading about AI detection of terrist videos. They got 600K, we could certainly aim higher than that,

      With sufficient funds, we could subcontract the job to GCHQ and let them get into systems using more conventional, but tried and tested methods, such as social engineering.

      1. Tom 64
        Pint

        Re: Anyone want to make a lot of money?

        It's leave your conscience at home day! Lets take a shitton of public funds and line our pockets!

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Anyone want to make a lot of money?

          "Lets take a shitton of public funds and line our pockets!"

          No chance, we'd have to leave it to the professionals at eating public funds. In the UK that would be the likes of Crapita.

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Anyone want to make a lot of money?

        "With sufficient funds, we could subcontract the job to GCHQ and let them get into systems using more conventional, but tried and tested methods, such as social engineering."

        That wouldn't work because it's not what the numpties in government want. It's something they have already. What they want is something new and magical that doesn't take any effort to apply. GCHQ know as well as anyone that a load of bollocks that is.

        The answer, as ever, lies with Sir Humphrey's explanations to Hacker that seeing money being spent means that everyone's happy because something's being seen to be done. So, just let out a contract to develop this magic with GCHQ, maybe in conjunction with some independent experts, being the arbiters of whether it works without any risks.

        That way, with some utterly rudderless guidance from themselves, HMG can persuade themselves that they're setting out to achieve this goal and maybe keep quiet about it - and even quieter about the ultimate failure. For good measure perhaps IDS can be put in charge; he has just the right track record for it.

    2. Vector

      @ Aqua Marina Re: Anyone want to make a lot of money?

      Yeah, I'd think twice about that little scheme. What's most likely to happen is someone will do just as you suggest, the system will get hacked just like everyone with any knowledge of the subject expects and that f*ckton of money and much more will be poured into the endless drain of lawsuits that result.

      1. Adam 1

        Re: @ Aqua Marina Anyone want to make a lot of money?

        @Vector, you are looking at this wrong. The investment opportunities are boundless, once you realise that it's the law firms' shares that you should be shoveling your hard earned into.

        1. Vector

          Re: @ Aqua Marina Anyone want to make a lot of money?

          Ah! Lawyers! Now there's a plan. They always end up with the money anyway, don't they?

          1. Gotno iShit Wantno iShit

            Re: @ Aqua Marina Anyone want to make a lot of money?

            Money isn't what I'm thinking when I have lawyers + shovels in mind.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Anyone want to make a lot of money?

      Simple solution. All passwords are sent to a government approved location when creating your account along with all other details. Therefore you know your password and the government also knows it. No mathematical problems with this.

      How do I claim my money? Also, can I be indemnified against any claims if someone manages to hack the computer with everybody's account details?

      1. tfewster
        Facepalm

        @AC Re: Simple solution

        Key escrow is fine in principle, but it's not really escrow if your government is using it to read all emails for "dodgy" content. Don't worry about hacking; every government and agency will want access to the database, so it will be leaked anyway.

        A slightly more elegant solution would be for one "trusted" agency under each government to be able to issue keys and use a "secure" local database to decrypt its citizens emails and forward the contents if "appropriate".

        Using an unapproved key will lose you your email rights. But it's not all bad news - TXT & 1337 speak and spammers random-word techniques will be detected as secondary encryption, and the perpetrators removed from society.

        1. JohnFen

          Re: @AC Simple solution

          "Key escrow is fine in principle"

          Not really. Key escrow is only fine if the keepers of the keys are incorruptible and their security is perfect. Otherwise, it's nothing but a disaster in waiting.

      2. Trump rulz

        Re: Anyone want to make a lot of money?

        > All passwords are sent to a government approved location when creating your account along with all other details.

        Great! My SAP/SAR (above Top Secret) security clearance, an ID thief's wet dream, along with all other clearances was leaked by a hack of the US Office of Personnel Management. (Google OPM hack.) This is one-stop-shopping for hackers.

    4. phuzz Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Anyone want to make a lot of money?

      Ok, so what we really do is tell the government that we can do the work, and that we'll need £££££ (and every six months say it's tricky and could we have more £££ please).

      Then we create a demo system that does whatever they want.

      Then we take the rest of the money and set up a bolt hole a long way away, and then run away with the cash.

      That way no impossible 'secure backdoors' need to be made, and we get loads of money.

      It's the perfect plan, all we need is a name for our company...

    5. BebopWeBop

      Re: Anyone want to make a lot of money?

      retire to somewhere warm and cheap no extradition treaty, warm and cheap beer

      TFTFY

    6. JohnFen

      Re: Anyone want to make a lot of money?

      True. If I didn't have a sense of ethics, I'd be a billionaire by now.

  3. martinusher Silver badge

    Straightforward Enough

    All this article is telling you is that when the money wants something there's always going to be a ready supply of toadies who are prepared to tell them 'yes'. Especially if, like encryption, its going to be someone else's problem to deliver. You don't need to be a heavyweight mathematician to know that there is no such thing as a backdoor to an encryption algorithm; any attempt to put one in is just going to be an elaborate bypass mechanism, one that's bound to be found sooner or later.

    1. Adrian 4

      Re: Straightforward Enough

      When faced with loads of money and an unfeasible job, the trick is to get in the channel. You don't want a contract to provide the encrypted software : you want a contract to organise, advertise and filter the hopeful applicants.

      And make sure the contract deliverables are exactly those things : not an actual working application.

      1. cantankerous swineherd

        Re: Straightforward Enough

        don't dig for gold, sell shovels.

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Straightforward Enough

        "And make sure the contract deliverables are exactly those things : not an actual working application."

        You're too pessimistic. I'm sure we can all think of big projects which consume money without producing anything that remotely resembles a working application. A work in progress is just fine.

    2. Eponymous Cowherd

      Re: Straightforward Enough

      Pretty much hit the nail on the head.

      Had that sort of thing happen so very many times. Over-eager sales twonk promises a customer a "feature" to get the sale. "Can you add the ability to do X?" says the customer, "Sure, no problem" says the sales twonk. "Sold!!" says the customer.

      "Oh by the way", says the sales twonk in his briefing to the developers, "I've told them we can do X. That's OK, isn't it? Not to difficult to do?"

      "No it fucking isn't OK" I say. "That's next to impossible to deliver for the price you quoted."

      "Just fucking do it. OK" says the boss.

      So we do it. It doesn't really work properly. The project is massively over budget and late. The customer is pissed off and I'm in the shit with the boss.

      But the fucking sales wanker got his fucking commission, so that's OK.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Unbreakable encryption with secure backdoors?

    Oh, you mean like TSA baggage locks?

    1. Adam 1

      Re: Unbreakable encryption with secure backdoors?

      Kind of. Except obviously the encrypted backdoor would require the threat actor to be present whereas the TSA baggage locks can be remotely exploited from another continent.

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

        Re: Unbreakable encryption with secure backdoors?

        Even if it could be made to work (which it cannot), what is going to stop terrorists from using a one-time-pad (or some simpler, highly secure cryptography) to create high entropy messages, embed these in some video of a cat using standard steganography and sending these through what is now no longer a secure channel?

        1. eldakka
          Black Helicopters

          Re: Unbreakable encryption with secure backdoors?

          > what is going to stop terrorists from using a one-time-pad (or some simpler, highly secure cryptography) to create high entropy messages,

          I think your mistake here is that you are assuming they want it to fight terrorists and other high-level bad actors.

          They already have spy agencies with satellites, entire data centres dedicated to cracking, local HUMINT resources, spies, strike teams, cyber-espionage networks (i.e. physically placing exploits into hardware of high-level targets while in transit from the manufacturers, Cisco routers, etc. ) execution squads and 100's of billions of dollars to spend on those.

          No, they want it to mass-monitor their own citizens.

  5. Alistair
    Windows

    FBI to @cryptoboffins

    Our sources cannot be identified in order to protect their identities.............................................................................................................................................................

    (from massive ridicule by people that actually know what they're talking about).

    1. Adrian 4

      Re: FBI to @cryptoboffins

      If the sources are 'experts', then presumably they can develop the required magic encryption.

      And if they're not, what is their justification for expressing an opinion ?

    2. John Gamble
      Boffin

      Re: FBI to @cryptoboffins

      Yeah, that caught my attention too.

      "The FBI is also unlikely to release the names of those it has been consulting over fears that they would be ridiculed and come under pressure from their peers not to work on such an approach."

      The third possibility is that the experts the FBI is citing would be appalled to find out that they've been misquoted for this purpose, and would repudiate FBI leadership immediately.

      I'm reminded of Mnuchin's economist survey (not a misquote, but similarly embarrassing).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: FBI to @cryptoboffins

        37 of 37 economists surveyed are all wrong, as usual. Just like the FBI's crypto experts. Enough is enough already. Real change is happening and none of these jokers can stop it.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Meh

    Exceptional access

    The other problem with Exceptional Access Mechanisms is that will swiftly become Routine Access Mechanisms for snooping on political activists, sales and R&D divisions of foreign companies and the general population.

  7. Mark 85
    Facepalm

    And so it goes....

    This will keep going until one of several things happens...

    1) Wyden is no longer in the picture.

    2) The governments (all of them who want this) toss a lot of money down the food chain/contractor toilet and get no results.

    3) The agencies and politicians who push this get a clue.

    4) Hell freezes over.

    If 1) happens possibly someone else who has a clue is waiting in the wings to replace him.

    Given what the governments want, 2) is possible.

    3) Not happening.

    4) is the most likely....

    1. Velv
      Coat

      Re: And so it goes....

      “4) is the most likely....”

      Not likely when you align with the other GOP policies on Climate Change

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: And so it goes....

      I'm in favour of 2). There's nothing remarkable about govt. IT projects that fail to deliver. The politicians continue to believe that they're going to succeed and it keeps them happy because they're Doing Something. The sooner they head of in that direction the better. They'll stop bleating, someone will get dosh that would inevitably be spent on something worthless and the rest of us would get a break from this endless whining. I might even consider coming out of retirement to work on it; I'm not a cryptographer but I could fail at it as successfully and expensively as someone who is.

    3. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: And so it goes....

      This will keep going until one of several things happens indefinitely

      (fixed it for ya)

      politicians see an opportunity with every disaster, like 'let no disaster go unexploited"

      article: "those in favor of backdoors are just treading water until something happens that causes a shift in public opinion"

      pretty much what I said, I think. You see it with GUN CONTROL all of the time. Let some wack-job criminal psychopath go off and shoot up a high school, and the GUN CONTROL arguments start within 15 minutes.

      Similarly, you'll see the SAME THING with back doors on ALL encryption.

      What's next, EVERY LOCK must have a MASTER KEY that ONLY the gummint can use? Ha ha ha ha, that's so funny [but it's the SAME DAMN THING that "they" want for encryption].

      And it's not about the money, so much as the POWER and CONTROL. When "they" have the power, and "they" have the control, the money just shows up. Yeah, right about now, ALL of this is SO! BLATANTLY! OBVIOUS! to *ANYONE* watching current events...

      what THEY want:

      a) permanent power/influence to control OUR lives

      b) take money from one group so they can favor another

      c) buy influence with money given to them by lobyists and friends

      d) engage in nepotism and favoritism of various kinds

      e) "It's good to be the king"

      f) scare people into giving them even MORE power, whenever possible.

      In the Star Wars saga, Jar Jar Binks was manipulated into recommending that temporary powers be given to the chancellor to win the Clone War. With this extra power, he later became EMPEROR [and ultimately revealed his TRUE agenda by dissolving the senate, becoming an evil dictator].

      Thsi is SO much like real life, isn't it? THIS is what those elitist politicians want, for themselves and their friends. Yeah, "drain the swamp".

    4. apveening Silver badge

      Re: And so it goes....

      4) Already happened, the Nordic mythology is correct in that aspect. The idea of hell as a hot place comes from ancient desert dwellers who couldn't think of something worse (lack of imagination).

  8. FozzyBear
    Black Helicopters

    I think the big story here is that a Politician, a Politician seems to be listening to actual experts and is making reasoned arguments on this topic.

    Sure, He's most likely playing his own games here , but still.

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Trollface

      A million politicians, a million typewriters, and we have found the copy that is actually interesting for defending public interest.

      1. jelabarre59

        A million politicians, a million typewriters, and we have found the copy that is actually interesting for defending public interest.

        ...on this particular issue. He's likely useless for everything else

    2. Adam 1

      A broken clock shows the correct time twice* a day.

      *Unless it happens to be stopped between two regional dependent early morning hours on a particular Spring morning in which case it is only once.

      1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        A broken clock shows the correct time twice* a day.

        Gah. I can take this from hoi polloi, but on a technical site, people should know better. Clocks have many failure modes.

        A stopped clock is right twice a day - assuming a conventional analog 12-hour clock.

        If both hands fall off the spindle and lie flat at the bottom of the crystal, the clock is broken, but it will not show the correct time at any time of day. If both hands are pointing exactly to any number other than 12, it will not show the correct time (because the hour hand only points to the hour on the hour). If the hands are spinning wildly, it may show the correct time any number of times in a day. And so forth.

        Right, that's my Pedantry of the Week entry for this one.

    3. Palpy

      Wyden seems like a pretty straight guy.

      He's represented Oregon since 1981 in the House, and then since 1996 in the Senate.

      I think it's a mistake to tar all politicians with the same dirty brush. Wyden has the luxury of very strong backing in his district, so he doesn't have to prostitute himself to get re-elected. And of course one reason he has strong support is that he has a reasoned and substantive approach to the job of a legislator, and his constituency notices.

      All that said, I don't think the fight against backdoored encryption will be successful for very much longer.

      1. JohnFen

        Re: Wyden seems like a pretty straight guy.

        "I don't think the fight against backdoored encryption will be successful for very much longer."

        It technically can't succeed, though. All that can be done is to force the default crypto included in device to be backdoored. It is impossible to stop people from using the strong crypto that already exists in the world.

      2. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Wyden seems like a pretty straight guy.

        "All that said, I don't think the fight against backdoored encryption will be successful for very much longer."

        That war has already been lost.

        a) PGP

        b) IDEA

        c) OpenSSL

        etc.

        The genii is out of the bottle, Pandora's box is open and you're NOT going to stuff ANY of this back in. Anybody who's decent at math could invent a new encryption method, some stronger and some weaker than others, and the concept of a block cipher or stream cipher is pretty well known. [I even invented one myself, and published in prose how to make it work, as a protest against U.S. encryption export laws back in the 90's, until the laws were changed, but I never took the page down - it's still there].

        Even bitcoin is a form of encryption with the block chain. Imagine invalidating all crypto-currencies because they now require a back-doorable block chain. Is _THAT_ part of "their" agenda?

        And like it is with guns: make them illegal, and ONLY criminals will have them. So it would also be with non-back-doored encryption. Make it illegal, and ONLY criminals will use it!

        Also, ask S. Korea how well it worked to require a specific type of encryption for ALL online banking transactions (aka SEED)...

        https://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/04/02/south_korea_to_deport_microsoft_activex/

    4. dan1980

      @FozzyBear (and others)

      There are many politicians - all around the world - who are reasonable, intelligent, public-minded, and genuinely dedicated to governing for the people.

      The problem is that the way politics as a whole works ensures that these worthy few rarely reach positions where they have much real power and never in concentrations high enough to make any tangible difference.

    5. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Devil

      "a Politician seems to be listening to actual experts"

      On the surface, this is how things appear. Since the politician is a Democrat, I have to wonder what that agenda is. If it's civil liberties, I'll give him a slow clap for being right. If it's some further agenda down the road, I'll keep my eyes wide open...

      "He's most likely playing his own games here"

      ack

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