back to article Due to Oracle being Oracle, Eclipse holds poll to rename Java EE (No, it won't be Java McJava Face)

Unable to convince Oracle to allow the use of its trademarked term "Java" to refer to the open source version of Java Enterprise Edition (Java EE), the Eclipse Foundation is asking those who care about such things to vote on proposed names for the software project. Last summer, Oracle said it had begun working with the Eclipse …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lame name options IMHO

    I would have chose a coffee theme like cappuccino.

    1. MacroRodent

      Re: Lame name options IMHO

      "Robusta" could have been nice: it is a variety of the coffee plant, and also associates with robustness, something one wants in an enterprise platform.

      1. onefang

        Re: Lame name options IMHO

        '"Robusta" could have been nice: it is a variety of the coffee plant, and also associates with robustness, something one wants in an enterprise platform.'

        I was under the impression that what people wanted in an enterprise platform was expensive bloat and job preserving complexity.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Lame name options IMHO

          "I was under the impression that what people wanted in an enterprise platform was expensive bloat and job preserving complexity."

          So, Starbucks it is then.

          1. jelabarre59

            Re: Lame name options IMHO

            So, Starbucks it is then.

            Would hit other trademark issues though. Use "StarSUCKS" and it could berefferential to both the language *and* the coffee shop.

        2. Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

          @ onefang Re: Lame name options IMHO

          "I was under the impression that what people wanted in an enterprise platform was expensive bloat and job preserving complexity"

          That's why Spring and Hibernate were invented. To teach those who though a select query couldn't be a time consuming processor hammering nightmare a lesson. The software equivalent of chopsticks - in my case at least :-)

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Lame name options IMHO

          '"Robusta" could have been nice: it is a variety of the coffee plant, and also associates with robustness, something one wants in an enterprise platform.

          Except Robusta are the cheaper, bitter coffee beans used for instant coffee that have a higher caffeine content and kick your arse.

    2. Roq D. Kasba

      Re: Lame name options IMHO

      Spiced pumpkin extra sugar latte coffee flavoured milk drink

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lame name options IMHO

      "I would have chose a coffee theme like cappuccino."

      Tbh thats a fairly obvious choice and unsurprisingly someone already thought of it:

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cappuccino_(application_development_framework)

      I doubt there are many coffee themed names that haven't been used. You'd probably have to settle for something like skinnyflatwhitesoyatasteslikefloorsweepingsinpus

    4. Oh Homer
      Trollface

      A name befitting its character

      KOB: King of Bloatware.

      1. croky

        Re: A name befitting its character

        Jabba huh ? ... and talking about "bloated",what about just calling it "The Hutt" ?

    5. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Lame name options IMHO

      "I would have chose a coffee theme like cappuccino."

      Call it 'Joe', and you can keep the 'J' in every potentially affected acronym.

      Now I'm gonna go and get me a nice cuppa Joe...

      1. Tigra 07
        Thumb Up

        Re: Lame name options IMHO

        Gava pronounced with a hard G. Sounds the same but is spelt differently.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Lame name options IMHO

          Gava pronounced with a hard G. Sounds the same but is spelt differently.

          Which reminds me, if your're tempted to try the Guavacados at Whole Foods, DON'T

      2. RegW

        Re: Lame name options IMHO

        > Call it 'Joe', and you can keep the 'J' in every potentially affected acronym.

        J0ee surely!

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lame name options IMHO

      "I would have chose a coffee theme like cappuccino."

      Well seeing as Java is such a pile of shite, how about 'Luwak' ?

    7. shonangreg

      Re: Lame name options IMHO

      How about JaCoffee? Simple and unique. Sounds a bit like "Jack-offy", so maybe JaCafe, JaCoughie ;-) JaAssholeBillionaire, JaJoe, Jaba, ...

    8. jelabarre59

      Re: Lame name options IMHO

      I would have chose a coffee theme like cappuccino.

      There's always Postum. Something that pretends to be a programming language but really isn't.

    9. The Man Who Fell To Earth Silver badge

      Not sure who is lamer, Oracle or the Java Foundation

      This is naming a language, not brain surgery. Just call it JEE and move on. If anyone asks if that word is really an acronym, you can wisper (outside of Oracle's hearing) that it stands for Java Enterprise Edition.

    10. x 7

      Re: Lame name options IMHO

      "I would have chose a coffee theme like cappuccino."

      there was an early open-source Java alternative of that name, must have been 12 years ago at least

  2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Why not ask James Gosling to choose a name?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Getting JGEE with it?

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      "Why not ask James Gosling to choose a name?"

      Maybe he'd suggest MeaCulpa.

  3. ibmalone

    Android?

  4. elDog

    Another perfectly crummy alternative to C/Java: chicory

    It was foisted on the US public during WW-II so the GIs could get the "real" stuff (not sure they did.)

    In the 70's (when I sorta grew up) it was touted as healthier - just like carob was better than chocolate. Hah!

    It is also highly touted in NOLA but usually backed by real java.

    Chicory has a very new-age ring to it, don't you think. And the releases could start at Chic-1.0.0.0.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Another perfectly crummy alternative to C/Java: chicory

      It was foisted on the US public

      One of the many things where USA and Russia are much more alike than people would like to admit. Literally same story up to the 70-es. As a result anyone who wanted real coffee had to get green Cuban beans by various semi-illicit channels, roast them and grind them by themselves. The smell of freshly roasted coffee beans early in the morning... It smells like...

      You can still have it hoisted on you today by the way. If you are unfortunate to go to the more obscure corners of Greece you need to carry a Bialetti and at least 1kg of ground to sustain yourself. The coffee in the cafanas as well as the stuff in nearly all small hotels is all spiked with shit and practically undrinkable.

      So if you want to draw a connotation that it is something vile and vomit inducing chicory would be a good choice.

      1. davidp231

        Re: Another perfectly crummy alternative to C/Java: chicory

        "The coffee in the cafanas as well as the stuff in nearly all small hotels is all spiked with shit and practically undrinkable."

        "Errrgghh! This coffee tastes like shit!"

        "It is shit, Austin!"

        1. Someone Else Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: Another perfectly crummy alternative to C/Java: chicory

          "The coffee in the cafanas as well as the stuff in nearly all small hotels is all spiked with shit and practically undrinkable."

          "Errrgghh! This coffee tastes like shit!"

          "But it's really great shit, Mrs. Preske!"

      2. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

        Re: Another perfectly crummy alternative to C/Java: chicory

        "Literally same story up to the 70-es"

        Whereas 80-s brought along some improvements. 1) After years of experiments, our glorious research institutes had developed a range of coffee substitutes (rye and other grains + chicory) that were quite, but not entirely unlike coffee. With copious amounts of Armenian brandy to go with it they were almost drinkable.

        (side note: while trying to hunt down images of these chicory products I discovered that chicory is now being touted as a health product. Fuckity fuck.)

        2) And now the real bombshell. In 80's, in Soviet Russia, in actual stores that were accessible for ordinary people, there were real Arabica coffee beans for sale!!!

        Granted, they were sold for a princely sum of 20 roubles per kilogram, while ordinary engineer could earn about 120-130 roubles in a month. But still, anyone could have some if they so desired. Eat your hearts out, capitalist running dogs!

        1. Joe Werner Silver badge

          Re: Another perfectly crummy alternative to C/Java: chicory

          Heh... yea, that stuff was sold as "coffee" after (likely also during) the war in Germany as well. The 80s saw strong marketing of rye-based alternatives as the healthy option. #'em, I need the caffeine!

          Remark: the salad stuff is (closely) related to it but not the same plant. TBH after they crossbred out the bitterness I like it much less... The old stuff wrapped in ham and cooked in a white sauce (gratinated with cheese!) was just great!

      3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

        Re: Greek coffee

        The coffee in the cafanas as well as the stuff in nearly all small hotels is all spiked with shit and practically undrinkable.

        That must because it all comes out of a huge tin with a 'Nescafe' label on it.

        The same goes for large parts of S. America and Africa. Even in places where they grow Coffee, you seem to get served luke warm dishwater instead of the real thing.

        1. BurnStuff

          Re: Greek coffee

          +1 even in a coffee growing region, sitting under a coffee bush. Apparently until very recently Colombia did not retain any of its finest quality coffee preferring to export it all as a cash crop and as a result the Colombians are mostly used to instant!

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Greek coffee

          Even in places where they grow Coffee, you seem to get served luke warm dishwater instead of the real thing.

          I thought that would have been the IBM cafeterias...

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    Or

    Foracle, it is short for -

  6. sloshnmosh

    They should name it...

    "ASK Toolbar"

    Or whatever it comes "bundled" with nowadays.

  7. JohnFen

    "Had anyone asked us, we'd have suggested !@#$ Larry EE"

    That's far too kind to Larry.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Just call it "Enterprise Leisure Suit Edition".

      And leave it at that.

      1. oldcoder

        That would result in ELSE....

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Shame they've ruled out Yachty McYachtface.

  8. tony trolle
    Happy

    mmm

    Hava ?

    Hava = Have awful viable acronym

    pronounced jah-vuh

    1. Notas Badoff

      In a galaxy far, far away (sufficiently to get away from Oracle's shadow)

      Name it Jawa. Then the whole language becomes JawaEEz. And thus the community is revealed as "small hooded creatures with glowing eyes".

      Some of the brightest people are scarfed up into those lumbering crawlers and then are never seen again, at least, not in unbroken form.

    2. Swarthy

      Re: Hava

      Nagila?

      Not that there's much to rejoice about, other than maybe getting out from under Oracle. ...Actually, that is something worth rejoicing.

  9. steve11235

    Is this taken?

    How about "Spring Boot"? Oh, is that already in use? I suppose both the name and framework are. I'm glad my next engagement uses a Java*Script* stack.

    1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

      Re: Is this taken?

      Sumatrascript is taken, but SumatraEE might be doable.

  10. Randy Hudson

    How about "black hole"?

  11. G Fan

    Just call it kava - close enough geographically, physiologically and typographically, and yet completely different

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Pint

      Cava

      Hic

    2. EarthDog

      Krakatoa? It has Krac in it.

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