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Apple: The exclusive sales channel for an, er, AI toothbrush

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Wonderful. You would think that an approach to creating toothbrushes that were not so problematic to dispose of were more sensible use of any research time. But no. Let's stick AI on a product and watch these puppies go.

Well done, Colgate. And Apple. You truly are visionaries.

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Give Colgate their due - they have identified the only sales channel, with its associated customer base, likely to have any chance of shifting over-priced and over-hyped tat like this.

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Not buying it unless I know that it has edge to edge brushes, that the fanboi edition comes with tooth recognition and cordless recharging.

Oh and it must have a camera in case I have an urgent need to post a picture of my teeth on Instagram.

Oh, and I noticed that while you can buy it through the Apple Store, you can't return it to them.

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I despair

Having to worry about your toothbrush's compatibility with your mobile phone / tablet - what a time to be alive

Any guesses how long it will be before it needs a firmware update to fix a security flaw, or we find out that its telemetry has been spying on us and saying when the best time to stuff adverts in our faces.

I'm wondering how well the user interface will work - the screen will presumably be wobbly given that there is a toothbrush connected to your skull and its vibrating away like mad.

Does it also add the term "you're brushing it wrong" to the Apple list of reasons things don't work ?

First world problems that we can do without.

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Re: I despair

To be fair, this isn't the first connected toothbrush. I've had an Oral-B with Bluetooth for years which allows custom brushing plans and connects to a phone to get various data in/out and to your dentist. Never had firmware or compatibility issues and it works stand alone so that wouldn't be an issue anyway.

It hasn't really offered any value over a non-connected toothbrush though. I only got it because it was bundled with 3 years worth of heads, making it cheaper than the cheap version in a TCO comparison.

Now that I've written that down I'm more concerned with the fact that a TCO is necessary for such an item these days than I am with RoTM or plastic waste...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I despair

I was immediately reminded of Rhod Gilbert's "The Man With The Flaming Battenberg Tattoo". In that, he does an excellent section where he rages about a smart electronic toothbrush that his girlfriend bought him for Christmas. Very funny, and worth a listen (it's on Spotify)

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Anonymous Coward

I can't see them selling many of these unless the're really good and people hear about them by word of mouth,

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Anonymous Coward

I'd want a sound recommendation, and not just someone paying lip service

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They're hoping to generate a lot of buzz online...

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I think most people will just brush the idea off...

...either that or bristle with indignation.

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Most are a bit too long in the tooth for that sort of thing.

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I have an earlier incarnation of this. The Colgate/Omron joint development...

It's more difficult to use and does a worse job than my OralB 600 Pro, which cost UNDER TWENTY EARTH POUNDS! The Colgate/Omron brush was 138UKP. I think that explains the Apple tie-up?

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Anonymous Coward

If I'm brushing my teeth wrong and need an app with AI to correct myself what other things am I doing wrong? Maybe I'm wiping my arse wrong and going back to front should be the other way round. I could also be bashing the bishop in an unsatisfactory way. I'm just glad they've now found a use for AI.

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Anonymous Coward

"I could also be bashing the bishop in an unsatisfactory way."

Telemetry for that has already been used - and the companies' knuckles tapped.

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Cheaper to pay for a trip to the dental hytgenist

They will show you how to brush plus scrape off all the crap that been accumulating.

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Re: Cheaper to pay for a trip to the dental hytgenist

You seem to know a cheap dental hygenist

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Re: Cheaper to pay for a trip to the dental hytgenist

"You seem to know a cheap dental hygenist"

The toothbrush is 140 quid. My hygienist is about 40 quid for 25 minutes.

Maybe the Apple approved hygienists are more expensive :)

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Anonymous Coward

150.00+ for a toothbrush. 1100 odd for an iphone. In the bathroom, with ceramic sinks, tiled floors etc.

Anybody else think this is a bad idea?

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Anonymous Coward

Not as bad as making toast in the bath.

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Meh. Let me know when there's a tiny Roomba for your mouth that works while you sleep.

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Anonymous Coward

There are certain ladies that would welcome that.

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DJV
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Damn you, sjsmoto said "mouth"!

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Pint

A question...

What happens when icloud gets hacked and the Chinese/Russians/NSA have all your dental records?

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Re: A question...

What do you mean "when"?

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Anonymous Coward

Well, now waterproof mobes makes more sense...

... but if falls in the toilet, it can still be an issue...

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“Would you believe there’s no Android app?”

I guess Colgate marketing execs figure all Android users have teeth that are totally rotted from crystal meth use, so what's the point?

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Anonymous Coward

16 Brushing Zones?

I have two: by the basin and on the toilet. Depending on how half asleep and bleary-eyed I am...

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Re: 16 Brushing Zones?

Depending on how half asleep and bleary-eyed you are, I'd be mighty careful when brushing your teeth on the toilet.

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Happy

I assume if uses Bluetooth?

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I've been meaning to get me something like this!

Right around the arse end of never.

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I actually saw an advert looking for an iOS developer to write software controlling a "smart" toothbrush. And I thought: What if I get in a conversation, someone asks my what I do for a living, well, software development, and then they ask: What kind of software? And then I imagined their reaction when I say "software for toothbrushes".

I never applied. Didn't even check how much they were paying.

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> And then I imagined their reaction when I say "software for toothbrushes".

One of my former students went on to develop software for electric shavers, some... ten years ago that was.

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Escape Pod EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush

http://escapepod.org/2007/07/19/ep115-conversations-with-and-about-my-electric-toothbrush/

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I have a Philips Sonicare which does this

And works with both iPhones and Android. The robo nanny element has certainly improved my morning routine but whether that translates into better dental care remains to be seen.

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next up

AI toilet paper...

If people are so dumb they need help brushing their teeth, there is no hope. Maybe they will be like vapes, and explode lol.

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