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Military alliance NATO adopts official hymn

Anonymous Coward

They could have had,

How Great Thou Artillery.

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or, for Christmas

festas natovidad

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Could do worse than the official hymn of Ankh Morpork (“We Can Rule You Wholesale”):

When dragons belch and hippos flee

My thoughts, Ankh-Morpork, are of thee

Let others boast of martial dash

For we have boldly fought with cash

We own all your helmets, we own all your shoes

We own all your generals - touch us and you'll lose.

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#gnuterrypratchett

Obligatory request for a Sir Pterry icon.

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Sounds more like a funeral march

This ditty has the distinct sound of a funeral march. Just wondering whose casket is being carried.

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Re: Sounds more like a funeral march

It's the way you play 'em

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Re: Sounds more like a funeral march

Well, if they wanted something rousing, they should have secured the rights to Ron Goodwin's "Ace's High". Or Barry Gray's tunes for Thunderbirds.

Then again, NATO's hardly a very impressive machine now is it? Back in the days of detente and MAD, perhaps, but now the depleted and threadbare militaries of Europe most appropriate theme tune would seem to be from Only Fools and Horses.

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Unhappy

Writing a hym acceptable NATO wide is a bit tricker than it sounds..

Given how many bits of it have fought/invaded//annexed/dismembered other bits of it.

But fair play to the writer for a nice bit of Rickrolling.

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Re: Agreed on the Rickroll

Well-played. You got me.

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Facepalm

Ich hatt' einen kameradden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyBiQaVyLMM

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Joke

Re: Ich hatt' einen kameradden

It certainly has overtones of (and seems to owe not a little inspiration to) "Ich hatt' ein Kameradden' - maybe they should have saved time and just gone straight for 'Das Panzerlied' - which seems to already be popular with a number of NATO and ex-Warsaw Pact country's military forces - although that might send the wrong message in times of international tension in Europe.

Not entirely sure why you have been voted down for pointing out the obvious - unless Captain Reichling and his friends are commentards here.

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Re: Ich hatt' einen kameradden

I've an even better idea - this one's also been tested in combat:

Mademoiselle From Armentieres by J Charman 1915

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKzhQ4j9HD4

Again, it's bilingual ... the French should be chuffed no end!

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How about this one?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCzH2tR6fEM

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To be fair...

Geez... that was only 1:32? I listened to it while I read the article and I thought for sure it had been playing for several minutes. So damn slow and depressing.

I think this fine piece would have been a million times better. Though, I guess, it might inspire my son to join up with the military and try to get into a NATO unit, so I guess it is best that they have a dank piece instead.

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Re: To be fair...

A hymn is supposed to inspire. The only thing this piece of tripe inspires is dread. The PR idiots who commissioned it should face the music for grand treason under the respective NATO member country legislation (pun intended).

Just compare that to the (unofficial) ditty of the enemy du jour. The one they put on the tannoy before they get into "if you value your life be somewhere else" mode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7avPl6jB5w

Make your own conclusions...

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Re: To be fair...

The music for that is certainly way more inspirational... but damn those Russians love dire, moribund lyrics! The sound is all patriotic, but that video has subtitles so I get to see about how anxiety is spreading and they're going off to war to die.

I still think AC/DC's Thunderstruck, but performed with classical instruments (and without lyrics) is even better. :D

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Re: To be fair...

but damn those Russians love dire, moribund lyrics!

Matter of attitude to war. War is not fun. That is why nearly all Slavic war marches are set to a minor key which is quite different from the "inspirational" drivel like the "Halls of Montesuma" which is set to a major key and is supposed to "motivate" you to fight.

It is not just Russians too. The same music with different (but on a similar topic) verses was used by Armia Kraiova in WW2. This is the music to which the Polish died in the Warsaw uprising. The same music with yet another set of lyrics (but once again similar meaning) was used by Israeli. This song saw the 6 day war. The same music with several other (again similar semantically) sets of lyrics was also used in the Russian civil war. To just to top it up it was not written about a Russian woman. It was written during the Balkan wars based on impressions from Bulgarians and Serbians.

In any case, I stand by my initial opinion. NATO is a military organization - its hymn is supposed to motivate one way or another. It does not matter if it is the Slavic (we are going to die, but by god we will take you f***ers with us) or the Anglo-Saxon (We are going to kill 'em all, gung-ho, gung-ho) way. A funeral march is not fitting.

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Re: To be fair...

the "Halls of Montesuma" which is set to a major key and is supposed to "motivate" you to fight.

That tune is originally the "Gendarmes' Duet"! Hardly a motivation to fight :-)

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Happy

Re: To be fair...

@ Voland's right hand,

If you want to choose something about the topic and from that part of the world, choose quality like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGiz_qbViE0

Good music has no borders.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DFsF_0tfiM

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Re: To be fair...

How about Iron Maiden's 'The Trooper'? It does involve Russians, but possibly not to the benefit of the song's protagonist...

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Megaphone

Re: To be fair...

I would have suggested "You're in the Army now" by Status Quo. Some versions sound like they have Billy Connoly as the NCO shouting at them in it!

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Re: To be fair...

@Lars.

Come one, at least post the FULL "with cannons" version.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LxLSzzrplw

Concur otherwise.

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Re: To be fair...

A too enthusiastic anthem sends the wrong message. Stately and determined is more fitting when defeated than gung-ho which is setting yourself up for hybris. (I think ancient Greeks paean sung on the march forming up the phalanx etc were fairly low key)

To look to similar with national anthems, God save the Queen (King) is a bit of dirge but doesn't set you thinking of immediately invading your neighbour or proclaiming sovereignty over all (a la "German, German overalls") unlike say Rule Britannia or Land of Hope and Glory. Which may be why the latter two are reserved for musical festivals and sports matches where no one should have sharp implements or projectile weapons and the blood is generally confined to the players.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: To be fair...

@MeRp: you must have trawled youtube for the slowest version of Прощание Славянки.

This tune is used whenever the young lads are off to do their military service - and consequently has been used for great comic effect in Russian films and children's cartoons.

However, before getting into racial theories, consider that Noel Coward wrote many upbeat songs during WWII (some which are very satirical). And G. K. Chesterton, in his bigotry wrote the following lines: "The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad, For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad."

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Words?

Does it have any words?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Words?

Yes, crap and pointless spring to mind.

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Re: Words?

It's not technically an anthem if it doesn't have words. Can any commentareds suggest lyrics?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Words?

It's a world of laughter, a world of tears

It's a world of hopes and a world of fears

There's so much that we share

That it's time we're aware

It's a small world after all.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Words?

Says who? The Spanish national anthem doesn't have any words.

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Re: Words?

Onward yellow cowards marching to the rear ...

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@AC re. Re: Words?

anthem

/ˈænθəm/

noun

1.

a song of loyalty or devotion, as to a nation or college: a national anthem

2.

a musical composition for a choir, usually set to words from the Bible, sung as part of a church service

3.

a religious chant sung antiphonally

4.

a popular rock or pop song

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Words?

"The Spanish national anthem doesn't have any words"

Isn't it a case of that it did have words but they aren't considered suitable any more. A few years ago I think they ran a competition for new words but think was an overwhelmning public resposes to leave it without words. Anyway, whenever I hear it add my own words ....

"our national anthem doesn't have any words so we just sing la la la la la la,

our national anthem doesn't have any words so we just sing la la la la la la,

la la la la la la la la la la la I think that this makes it much better than yours,

la la la la la la la la la la la I think that this makes it much better than yours"

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All things considered I'd suggest:

This ditty might suit things a little better at the moment.

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Anonymous Coward

Or this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UWTRnzKXG8

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Anonymous Coward

Is NAOT a compromise between NATO and OTAN?

I like this anthem... naot. After Putin up with it for a minuteman, it could be Warsaw what.

an attack against one member* is considered an attack against all members

* excludes dependencies in South Atlantic

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I was going to suggest this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXspsfoPX50. It's catchy but probably sends the wrong message.

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I think that sends, essentially, the exact right message. Unfortunately it does not send the message that NATO is likely to want to send. Of course, neither does their chosen anthem, so I guess, at least this one is catchy!

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Lookit

It's simple. In the words of an Englishman (okay, he was born in India, but let's just let that go by) who was NATO's first boss, the purpose of NATO is "to keep the Russians out, the Americans in, and the Germans down".

It's worked, do far, though Merkel needs a few slaps, she's getting upity.

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Coat

Re: Lookit

Cliff Richard said that?

Must of been on of his earlier hits.

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Gimp

@ James O'Shea

So are you volunteering to spank Angela then?

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Re: @ James O'Shea

yes.

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Mushroom

Pehaps

Finland and Sweden would finally join NATO under this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iagm6-riUus

Porilaisten marssi / Björneborgarnas marsch

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bj%C3%B6rneborgarnas_marsch

And back to reality like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM3t-17Godc

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Anonymous Coward

its own national anthem-style hymn

they (we) should have... I dunno, just do SOMETHING (for the money spent on that bloody tune).

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I propose Dragorborn from the Skyrim game

I am ready to defend any Article 5 country to this music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVVXNDv8rY0

A plus is the dragon language equally foreign to every Alliance member.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I propose Dragorborn from the Skyrim game

Yeah that works for me. As long as Hadvar can be secretary general.

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Re: I propose Dragorborn from the Skyrim game

That reminds me of this march https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jtie6r27JeU

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Warren Zevon?

Guns Money and Lawyers?

I went home with the waitress, the way I always do

How was I to know, she was with the Russians, too?

I was gambling in Havana, I took a little risk

Send lawyers, guns and money, dad, get me out of this

...

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Megaphone

Is that what you really want playing?

As the massed tank divisions of Luxembourg face the invading Warsaw Pact?

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Anonymous Coward

hymns?

It's 2017 guys.

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No one has mentioned Hell March yet

I was sure someone else would of posted this before me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b5X69vREAg

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