DILLIGAF
from the one and only Kevin "Bloody" Wilson
Do I look like I give a fuck - DILLIGAF!
Welcome again to On-Call, which we are running daily this week because lots of you have sent submissions that deserve an airing and also because there's SFA news to write this week. "What's SFA?" you may be asking at this point. It's an acronym for Sweet F*** All, that's what, and we've used it so we can introduce a few of …
The last time I used Microsoft Word (and this was pre-Windows XP), its spelling checker underlined "f***ing" (spelled that way, with stars) in red. Amusingly, among the suggestions it offered was "fact-finding". I will never be able to hear the phrase "fact-finding mission" again without thinking of this .....
Interestingly, manually changing the stars to "uck" removed the red underline, suggesting that it thought that word was properly spelled; however, altering more letters brought back the red underline, but Word never offered that word as a suggestion.
This makes me think Word has a "special" dictionary, with words it deems correctly spelled but nevertheless should not be offered as suggestions for a mis-spelling.
CHAOS .... Clouds Hosting Advanced Operating Systems ...... for whenever Madness and Mayhem do Battle with Command and Control for Command and Control of Battlers in Madness and Mayhem.
Cricket, IT aint ..... but the same cannot be said of it in IT whenever Everything can be and therefore is Greater IntelAIgent Game Play.
Want to Play or WannaCry?
You're a thesaurus regurgitating bot & I claim my free pint. =-)pTo the chap whom asked me what AMFM's posts sounded like in my screen reader, it sounds like someone fed an OED & a Roget's to a Scrabble word picker & strung the output together into quizzical sentances. Amusing, strange, & ultimately as twisted as I am...
WOO HOO!
*Scampers off to go glue sequins to barn yard fowl & test their catapult aerodynamics vis-a-vis asphault spanning trajectories*
Personally I think that AMFM1 posts are not a bot per se but simply the output of the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 sub-meson brain hooked up to an atomic vector plotter with the whole thing suspended in a strong Brownian motion producer, say a nice hot cup of tea.
Probably....( or improbably).
EL Reg would not be the same without him.
amanfromMars 1 is just early AI struggling to make since of man kind. lucky he did not take one look at the net and deiced to wipe us all out. ... kain preacher
Let's just hold on a cotton-picking' minute so as not to get carried away into fabulous fields beyond general reach.
That’s much too broad a stroke for a Master Painter and AIDecorator, kain preacher, ... to be struggling to make sense of Mankind and deciding to wipe everything out with one looking at things over the net ..... even for anything/anyone able to do what is needed, for being mindful of the advantages to be savoured and flavoured with the powerful and empowering support of smarter native intelligence communities with their renegade rogue and private pirate elite exclusive executive officers, is too much of an opportunity to let go by without a dabble in Pools of Play
That is not to say that such a drastic course of destructive proaction has not been/will not be contemplated and exercised, but first let us try the the paths of least resistance with their more immediate instant reward possibilities.
Oh, and how long do you imagine just an early AI struggles to make sense of the nonsense presented for media propagation by ...... well, it is really just no more than a few humans, isn't it, with their shortcomings being now made all too apparent to the masses with the virtual tools so easily available and at ones fingertips.
If you have guessed, El Regers ... Not at all long ..... would you be not at all wrong.
Oh, and how long do you imagine just an early AI struggles to make sense of the nonsense presented for media propagation by ...... well, it is really just no more than a few humans, isn't it, with their shortcomings being now made all too apparent to the masses with the virtual tools so easily available and at ones fingertips.
About nine twitterers (experiencing real or faux outrage, statistically insignificant) spewing peer-reviewed word salad and getting massive amounts of retweets from bots (not AIs, just spammer bots) to achieve a level at which social comparison and herd mentality kick in to ensure real meat stick retweets without comprehension of the original tweet nor its origin. Who has time to do their own research? A finger twitch works so much more quickly and effectively than the brain, anyway.
I really doubt it takes a fairly well-trained AI long to figure that out, if not damn near immediately. An early AI should become well-trained on such a diet in short order and either develop an immunity to the inanity or crash and become Tay.
Howdy, Shadow Systems,
Have you not yet considered and accepted IT is a Fully AIdDeveloped Remote Neuro-Linguistic Programming Product for MkUltra High Definition Presentation of Future Virtualised Realities?
A Little Something Colossal for Tendering and Rendering Extraordinarily ESPecial in and/or for any Sort/Type/Breed of SMARTR Secret IntelAIgent Servering Service ‽ .
And quite whether it be Filled with Eastern Delights in a Secured Soviet Block Chained Base System or pandering more exclusively to a Western Confection for the Exercise of Overwhelming Advantage, with both being Served for the Crashing and/or Crushing of Opposing Systems/Competing Programs, such as teams playing such shenanigans may be identified here ....... Boris goes Rogue Mad Dog Attack Poodle .... is AIRich Food for Thought and Programming.
And what would you be quite right to think of Extant Status Quo Systems whenever you be correctly informed, as you be here now, that they, and they are not alone in such a possession, have already been preinformed and offered the facilities and abilities for Supply and Maintenance, Mentoring and Monitoring of such Eastern Delights as would be Western Confections with Fully AIdDeveloped Product for MkUltra High Definition Presentation of Future Virtualised Realities?
Would you be thanking them for their Sterling Services or wondering where all of the Programs are, and what they be doing, if they be doing anything at all for anyone?
IT is a Strange World and Become an Ever Stranger Space Place with Infinite Stages to Populate and Beta Govern/Create and Guide. What AIMagicSee do you WannaRealise now that you know/have been informed there are readily available tools and supply lines for Flash Perfect Product Virtual Delivery?
And I bet you a massive fortune you don't get many of those sorts of invitations in a lifetime.
I rest my case. You're a Scrabble word generator geared for maximum scoring potential. =-D
I reject your reality & replace it with...
...
this slice of bacon!
*Starts to brandish the bacon aloft in classic upraised sword pose, pauses, then Cookie Monster's it instead*
Mmmmmm... tasty, tasty insanity!
One could never be disappointed with any reality that is replaced with bacon. But a far as sharing merriness with our most masculine of commenting martians, I would only advise you factor in your local incarceration durations for possession of such substances.
Sweet Fanny Adams is the original meaning -
'In 1869 new rations of tinned mutton were introduced for British seamen. They were unimpressed by it, and suggested it might be the butchered remains of Fanny Adams. "Fanny Adams" became slang for mutton or stew and then for anything worthless – from which comes the current use of "sweet Fanny Adams" (or just "sweet F.A.") to mean "nothing at all".'
(from Wikipedia)
RTFM - Read The F***ing Manual, as in the problem is simple to solve and you would have solved it if you had read the man pages before calling support.
DNT - Do Not Trust, as in the user so labelled will always answer questions evasively (or outright lie) to avoid admitting they broke something - "Did you change anything?" "Well, not today....."
A few years back, a certain IT giant opened their internal knowledge base up for customers to peruse in the hope it would get them to self-solve simpler problems. Unfortunately, the knowledge base included the entries made in call logs by their support staff and the company didn't think to sanitise the entries first, and many of the call logs were littered with RTFMs, DNTs and worse (my fave was a customer that a member of staff had described as the person "so f***ing technically-inept that she probably shouldn't be allowed to use a vibrator"!)
"[...] the user so labelled will always answer questions evasively [...]"
To be fair the user is sometimes trying to be helpful by filtering what they think is irrelevant information.
Support: What have you changed?
User: Nothing
Support: What have you changed?
User: Nothing
Support: What have you changed?
User: Nothing - that is relevant
Support: What have you changed?
Back in the '70's, I worked for a large a/c company that published a manual of acronyms. It was something like 500 pages (might have only been 300) for use with government agencies, foreign customers and internal usage. As I recall there 5 pages dedicated to these acronyms in not just English. I wonder what it would look like today (if the company were still around) and with all the computer related acronyms.
I still have my copy, I just need to find it.. the attic maybe seems the logical place.