back to article What just trousered a $4.5bn profit, has glum desktop chip sales, and rhymes with go to hell?

Intel reported better than expected results for the third quarter of the year, beating analysts' predictions. It was a win for Big Blue’s data center, Internet of Things and flash memory business sectors, which achieved fat quarterly sales. But revenue from PCs aka “client computing” didn't grow from last year, suggesting …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I thought it was AOL

    So I read the article, as I couldn't believe AOL could spin those numbers without selling all the kidneys in China.

    1. ThomH

      Re: I thought it was AOL

      I thought maybe Honeywell had really turned things around.

  2. G2

    What news site just entered the "fake news" section?

    @TheRegister

    WTH is with all these "What just..." stories today? The article titles start to look like copy-paste clickbait.

    I can see no less than 4 (FOUR) articles with similar titles, and they are even displayed together in a funny L-shaped group, 3 horizontal and one above.

    Seriously, please stop with the déjà vu titles. The articles are tagged as written by different authors but i really doubt those people names are really the authors since the four different articles have such titles:

    What employs half a million people, just did $44bn in sales, and rhymes with Azerbaijan?

    What just trousered a $4.5bn profit, has glum desktop chip sales, and rhymes with go to hell?

    What just banked $7bn in pay dirt, is stroking its big growth, and rhymes with cold sweat?

    What just counted $24bn in receipts, and rhymes with psycho loft?

    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: What news site just entered the "fake news" section?

      IMHO (and FWIW which is nowt) I rather enjoyed the crypric headlines. It got my mind working a bit more than it usually is at this time of day.

      From my POV, more please.

      I do fear my pleasure will be shortlived because the tempation to slag off the Cupertino Tat Reseller will be a far too big a target to not take aim at when their results are released.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: What news site just entered the "fake news" section?

      What ain't no country I ever heard of...

      Do they speak english in What ?.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What just drives me fucking nuts?

      Stupid-ass "What just..." headlines. Coming next... "Wait til you see..."

    4. This post has been deleted by its author

    5. BrownishMonstr

      Re: What news site just entered the "fake news" section?

      Don't forget one of their articles starting with "You won't believe this". It might be a joke but at a glance in a news app it looks like any other fake news.

  3. whoseyourdaddy

    Oh, fsck.

    I go out of my way to avoid paying Cupertino prices for Iphones with Intel modems, now I have to worry about cars?

    Sigh.

    I have to sign with T-Mobile? Ok, thanks for your time... Bye!

  4. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Unhappy

    Funny how they don't complete so good without a software monopoly partner, isn't it?

    As for "10nm by the end of the year" that's what 65 days left?

    Tick tock till the 1 atom thick oxide layer on transistors arrives.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Funny how they don't complete so good without a software monopoly partner, isn't it?

      This from me here in Jan 2014:

      "Their strategy, if it exists, has no credibility outside the outdated markets of desktop and datacenter x86.

      Name two non-x86 successes in the last two decades. If you wish, consider products from companies they've bought (Wind River, McAfee, Virtutech, etc).

      Intel. The x86 company."

      Meanwhile, what's today's state of play with Intel's products for the IoT market and friends (e.g. microservers), in particular things like the defective by design Intel C2000-family "SoC"s, shipping since 2013 or so, whose troubling level of failures were finally being reported here earlier in 2017, e.g.

      https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/03/03/netgear_recalling_hardware_with_bad_intel_atoms/

      "Intel's chip errata, published in January, identified the B0 stepping of Atoms in the C2000 range as having faulty clock outputs that fail far sooner than they should. When that happens, affected devices will no longer boot. The shoddy chips started shipping in 2013 and continued to be sold until late last year. Intel has refused to disclose how much subpar silicon it has sold."

      Separately, Charlie Demerjian at SemiAccurate has a few interesting snippets around how well Intel's 10nm process in general (which was going to give Intel a secondary income stream as a contract chip manufacturer for well known names) is doing too.

      As Windows loses its relevance, so will Intel, unless things change radically.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What rhymes with...

    no more rhyming cheese?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dell rhymes with "go to hell" not Intel.

    That's confusing as duck.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wrong beastie

    Big Blue === IBM

    Intel === Chipzilla

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What just trousered

    ...a new register headline bot! :/

    (first they came for the headlines, but I wasn't a headline...)

  9. JJKing
    Mushroom

    Enough already!

    What has too many rhyming headlines and it rhymes with The Register?

  10. itzman
    Paris Hilton

    Dear Chipzilla...

    What would your new desktop processors do for me that your existing ones do not?

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