back to article Argh, my loafer just fell down the rope ladder! Yes, I'm in the Microsoft treehouse

“A lot of people are like, ‘Where’s the AV?’ And I’m like, it’s a treehouse,” Bret Boulter said of Microsoft's new tree-based meeting spaces. “We wanted people to intentionally unplug, because they are sitting in front of screens all day long.” Um. Tech company Microsoft's latest trick for keeping employees on site are …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Microsoft treatment of employees

    Code Monkeys

  2. hplasm
    Coat

    "But hey, if you like nature...

    ... and aren't afraid of heights or bugs, fill your boots."

    Well, MS don't seem to be afraid of bugs...

  3. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Coat

    "tree-based meeting spaces"

    Right. Because rooms are overrated, I get it.

    I imagine this is what will happen :

    So, which treehouse should I schedule the meeting in ? Ah, Niagra is taken at that time. Too bad, it has the best view. Well I guess I'll just reserve Yellowstone, then. Ah no, I forgot, you have to be more than 5 to reserve it. Well it'll have to be Grand Canyon then. Damn, it takes 10 minutes to walk there. So, do I set the meeting time 10 minutes before, or will that confuse everyone into thinking they have to start out 20 minutes earlier ?

    Screw it, the meeting's only 15 minutes anyway. I'll just set the start time to when it's supposed to start.

    I hope Janet won't go to Rushmore again. She always goes to Rushmore because it's closest to her office. The we have to wait for her to realize nobody's coming, then she calls and finds out she has to go somewhere else. And, her office being on the other side of the campus, if she doesn't go straight to Grand Canyon, she'll never have time to get there before the end of the meeting.

    I have a bad feeling about this. Maybe I should just reserve Meeting Room A in the central building as usual.

    1. Chairo
      Megaphone

      Re: "tree-based meeting spaces"

      Maybe I should just reserve Meeting Room A in the central building as usual.

      Or just use Lync, er, Skype for Business, erm Microsoft Teams, ... oh well, whatever it is called now, as long as it is still supported. And perhaps they will finally implement a microphone gain adjustment that actually works. (See icon)

      Edit: Wow - not even 30 seconds up and already the first downvote. Looks like Microsoft is using downvote bots these days. Of course if you have a solution to turn on the automatic gain control on Lync (or however you call it) I'd be really happy. Feel free to post.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "tree-based meeting spaces"

        "Edit: Wow - not even 30 seconds up and already the first downvote."

        You should only feel disappointed if you don't get a downvote, as it means your post hasn't been read by the resident loner.

      2. Teiwaz

        Re: "tree-based meeting spaces"

        Edit: Wow - not even 30 seconds up and already the first downvote.

        Granted, I'm often in dodgy taste. But I'm certain were one to post something like the solution reached in a legendary cafe in Rickmansworth (by a young woman named Fenchurch), you'd still garner at least one d/v from some threatened person.

  4. frank ly

    The video

    Am I old or do they look like teenagers? Are they teenagers?

    1. Teiwaz

      Re: The video

      Am I old or do they look like teenagers? Are they teenagers?

      No, just young, enthusiastic actors, probably straight out of stage school, just before rehab for whatever is popular on the drug front, it was probably this or a porn role...

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. RyokuMas
      Facepalm

      Re: Fresh air won't fix pissing your Integrity away

      "But you won't ever be Facebook or Google Microsoft!"

      Thank goodness for that. At least Microsoft started out as a software business rather than an advertising/data collecting business...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        'No to OS Level Tracking or Privacy Raping Info Slurp' ... The Dutch would seem to agree...

        http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-41634617

        "Microsoft breaches data protection law in the Netherlands because of the way its Windows 10 operating system processes personal information, according to a report. "... It turns out that Microsoft's operating system follows about every step you take on your computer. That results in an intrusive profile of yourself."

      2. nijam Silver badge

        Re: Fresh air won't fix pissing your Integrity away

        > At least Microsoft started out as a software business...

        No, right from the outset they were a marketing business. The software, apart from a few trivial bits, was bought in (or ripped off) even from the earliest days.

        1. WolfFan Silver badge

          Re: Fresh air won't fix pissing your Integrity away

          No, right from the outset they were a marketing business. The software, apart from a few trivial bits, was bought in (or ripped off) even from the earliest days.

          Really, the level of Microsoft hate is.... just silly. Bill Gates' first claim to fame was writing a BASIC interpreter. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altair_BASIC It was the very first product that Microsoft (the Micro-Soft) ever made. No, he didn't copy it. He didn't market it to any extent. He did complain about piracy... As it was BillG's BASIC which brought Microsoft to IBM's attention (it shipped as GWBASIC with the IBM PC) and that led to his getting the deal for DOS, I'd say that his adventures in BASIC were decidedly non-trivial, and I invite others to point out where he bought it, or ripped it off. He did buy DOS. (No, he didn't steal it, he was just a lot smarter than the original developer and knew things that the dev didn't.) He didn't rip off Windows from Xerox, either; he, like Jobs at Apple, merely hired away people that senior Xerox management didn't care enough about to make them sign no-competes or NDAs. Again, he was smarter and knew things that others didn't. Their loss, his gain. (Senior Xerox management encountered a bit of turbulence and took a golden parachute; their successors, later, much later, attempted to sue both Apple and Microsoft. The lack of any legal agreements whatsoever with the guys Apple and Microsoft had hired away killed their case. Xerox management was criminally stupid.)

          BillG was smart, and lucky, very, very, very lucky... and then he did marketing. But not at first. At first he was only smart and lucky.

          1. Pompous Git Silver badge

            Re: Fresh air won't fix pissing your Integrity away

            @ WolfFan

            Yes, MS was a languages developer at first. Other products developed in-house include MultiPlan and Excel. IIRC in the early days of Macintosh, MS was making more money from MultiPlan for Mac than all their other products combined.

  6. Teiwaz

    I remember trying to learn in wooden shack classrooms, where you spent the first class of the morning with hands in armpits until the heaters warmed the place up a bit..

    I'm also convinced the tech 'garage' startups of the last half century could never have happened as often anywhere else but somewhere with clement weather like California.

    So while this trendy meeting room thing might last a bit in such locations round the globe (until some other novelty comes along) , I doubt it'll be much more of a temporary novelty anywhere else.

    1. Bob Wheeler

      Next on the list is the Igloo meeting rooms

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Anonymous Custard
        Headmaster

        Sounds like my kids school, where there are "temporary" classrooms of a similar nature which some of my fellow parents who have always lived locally tell me were there when they went to the school 30 years ago...

  7. RockBurner

    TMTLAs

    AV in this context being?

    Anti-Virus? Aviva? Audio Visual? (presumably), see wiki for more choices (some slightly worrying in context): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AV

  8. Len Goddard

    Health and Safety, access, etc

    This will last until the first clumsy clutz slips on the rope ladder and breaks an ankle.

    Or until someone in a wheelchair is invited.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's a quaint idea but I think they are barking up the wrong tree.

    1. hplasm
      Happy

      Close...

      It's a quaint idea but I think they are barking.

      There you go.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

        Re: Close...

        There yew go

        FTFY

  10. sqlartist

    I cant help but worry about wheelchair users, people that hate the cold (rules out any accounts teams), insect haters and people that hate the sun reflecting off their screen, otherwise all good.

    oh and it rains a lot in Seattle so could be an issue.

    1. phuzz Silver badge

      "people that hate the cold (rules out any accounts teams)"

      I've never thought about that before, but yes, every accounts department I've ever worked at had multiple under-desk heaters during the winter, and would always complain about the A/C being on.

      Does counting beans take up calories that would otherwise be used to heat themselves?

      PS, phantom downvoter, you better not miss me out!

      1. tony2heads

        @phuzz

        No, beancounters suck all the available energy of everything around them, so the air gets cold

      2. Mark 85

        Does counting beans take up calories that would otherwise be used to heat themselves?

        Don't think so. The ones I've worked around were bunch of cold-hearted bastards.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I see every comment has a down vote.

    Dear Microsoft Employee,

    Have you not got anything better to do? You know like changing the cli colours or bringing back clippy? or here's a good one, fixing the Windows 10 gui from the festering pile of sh*te that it is.

    Regards,

    AC

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      America is now online.

      Big hello to Redmond, could you please remove the ribbon?

      Office isn't an old oak tree you clowns.

      Love and kisses,

      AC

  12. Andy The Hat Silver badge

    Hypocritical?

    Micro$oft say they want people to use them and 'intentionally unplug' blah blah. Loverly jubbly, verbally interact, cuddly space etc

    But fortunately

    "They come equipped with ... Wi-Fi, power outlets ..."

    Just imagine the planning meeting ...

    Architect: "No Sir, nowadays you need WiFi and power to charge your devices ..."

    MS design bod: "But we're unplugging all our devices."

    Architect: "No Sir, nowadays you need WiFi and power to charge your devices ..."

    MS Design bod: " ... err, ok then."

    Architect 1: Client 0

    Now all we need is a smart, full length, outward opening window with a dodgy catch ...

    1. nijam Silver badge

      Re: Hypocritical?

      > Micro$oft say they want people to ... 'intentionally unplug'

      I thought that's why they introduced Windows 10.

  13. Anonymous Bullard
    Coat

    The reason they don't need AV is because these tree houses don't have Windows...

  14. This post has been deleted by its author

  15. ukgnome

    Leaf it alone Microsoft, haven't you twigged that no one really needs to branch out to this kind of meeting venue.

  16. Missing Semicolon Silver badge
    WTF?

    "outdoor gas fireplace"

    WTF?

    Not a green, green space then is it!

  17. Mystic Megabyte
    Unhappy

    Screw that!

    Any arborists around here?

    Will screwing bloody great bolts into the trees have any effect on its health? See at: 22sec.

    I could not watch it much further, I was going to puke.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So it's a fancy smoking shelter.

    Nice to see all the money we've spent on licenses is put to something useful. Shame they can't invest in the products we're all forced to use.

  19. AceRimmer1980
    Devil

    Treehouse of Horror

    Hey, it looks like you're trying to escape..

  20. handleoclast
    Coat

    Great idea

    It means people will be able to smoke at work again.

  21. Fatman

    OK, I see where everyone is bashing this, but...

    Sometimes getting out of the office can make 'things' better.

    A few years back, our IT department was being re-orged, and the CIO wanted 'input' on how the dictate from on high would be received.

    During the business day, it was dammed near impossible to gather together and focus on transformation with constant interruptions for minor problems (but serious problems in the minds of manglers who could not waste the opportunity to fuck things up). She decided that the best way to get 'quality, uninterrupted time' was to get out of the office.

    So, the budget was scoured for spare funds, and we retreated to her "in the woods" cabin for a 'weekend retreat'. No cell phone service out there, so we could concentrate. Budget money was spent for food and drink, and, while her place was on a lake, taking a swim in it was not recommended, because you better watch out for 'gators. (It is in Flori-duh after all.)

    The only drawback was that this was during the summer with the heat and humidity (and the bugs). We had two days uninterrupted to discuss how to implement that edict.

    Later, in early December, we again went to that lake to discuss how smoothly the plan was being implemented .This time, with the cooler weather, it was nice. It was decided that we need to disconnect more often, affording us the time to carry on discussions without interruptions. So, for the next three years, we spent a weekend in early December 1) reviewing the past year's IT department issues, and 2) setting goals for the forthcoming year. Our CIO had worked to insure that some budget money was always set aside for this.

    For some of the guys in the department, it was a legit reason to get away from the ball and chain (aka 'wife').

  22. far2much4me

    I See A Big Gender-Bias Lawsuit Ahead...

    ... because everyone who had a tree house as a kid knows - "NO GIRLZ ALLOWED!"

    1. PhilipN Silver badge

      Re: I See A Big Gender-Bias Lawsuit Ahead...

      UV the Calvin and Hobbes reference

  23. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Ah, to be young and in IT...

  24. dmacleo

    holy fuck the stupid is strong there.

  25. BongoJoe

    Back to Windows 3.1

    After all, this is Channelwood age of Myst. Isn't it?

  26. Disk0
    Coat

    DEC did this in the 90s

    so that's how cutting edge MS is these days

  27. Pat Harkin

    "aren't afraid of heights or bugs, fill your boots."

    Doesn't this run contrary to just about every principle of incluisivity and accessibility? Can I get my wheelchair up this ladder - or manage with crutches? Perhaps I just don't have the necessary fine motor control to manage a rope ladder.

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