back to article Ex-sperm-inate! Sam the sex-droid 'heavily soiled' in randy nerd rampage

In a public showing of Samantha, a sex doll with built-in computing power to make her more realistic, the love droid apparently suffered a terrible fate. The robot was displayed at the ARS Electronica Festival in Linz, Austria and proved a little too popular, it is claimed. The robot was mobbed by attendees who broke two of …

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  1. Long John Brass
    Paris Hilton

    Humanity is doomed

    Over a third of the men in attendance said they would purchase a plastic pal who's fun to be with.

    Humanity is doomed. ®

    At least we get to go out with a bang

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Humanity is doomed

      If only future world leaders' fathers had invested in them when they first came out they would've saved us a whole lot of trouble.

    2. TWB

      Re: Humanity is doomed

      Is that such a bad thing? We humans are'nt that great

      1. naive

        Re: Humanity is doomed

        <troll>

        Not humanity is doomed, women are.

        The fees for any divorce lawyer easily exceed $ 3,000. Why would we bother, engaging with any woman introduces high risks on legal fees and other obligations due to the systemic legal discrimination of men in most Western countries.

        Once good looking and well behaving bots are around, my guess is only well educated females in countries like Saudi-Arabia will still be able to find a man.

        </troll>

        1. bombastic bob Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: Humanity is doomed

          "Not humanity is doomed, women are."

          heh - robosexuality - for politically correct reasons, they MUST accept it.

          I wonder how long the SJW's would defend robosexuals...?

          This can easily descend into a 2D vs 3DPD rant, like on certain image boards

          and don't forget THIS web site...

    3. Chris King

      Scott Adams is ahead of us again...

      1994 !!!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Scott Adams is ahead of us again...

        try The Stepford Wives (1975 film)

        1. T. F. M. Reader

          Re: Scott Adams is ahead of us again...

          Or Isaac Asimov's 1951 "Satisfaction Guaranteed" story...

        2. rickyjames

          Re: Scott Adams is ahead of us again...

          Or Cherry 2000.

    4. This post has been deleted by its author

    5. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Extinction by Snu-snu!

      @Long John Brass

      At least we get to go out with a bang

  2. hazzamon
    Coat

    Beep boop, does not cumpute!

    1. Bandikoto

      I'm not sure if you are or are not referencing 1964's "My Living Doll" starring Julie Newmar, whose character Rhoda aka "AF 709" (a robot) popularized "DOES NOT COMPUTE".

      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057774/

  3. macjules
    Paris Hilton

    Heavily soiled?

    So this is at an expo in Austria, and the sexbot gets ‘heavily soiled’? How come? Did they have a sexbot room complete wth tissues and running Weird Science for the little perverts? Were pundits being informed, “Sorry Mein Herr, you might have to wash the sexbot out first”?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Heavily soiled?

      "So this is at an expo in Austria, and the sexbot gets ‘heavily soiled’? How come? "

      The clue is the location. A lot of Frtizls in that part of the world.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          Re: Heavily soiled?

          But no Jimmy Saviles, Rolf Harrises or Max Cliffords.

          None? How do you know?

          1. werdsmith Silver badge

            Re: Heavily soiled?

            Hmmm, interesting The Register. The above comment was definitely not me.

            Password change time.

    2. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Heavily soiled?

      "Did they have a sexbot room complete wth tissues and running Weird Science for the little perverts?"

      you are SO judgemental about the 'robosexual' lifestyle. ROBO-PHOBE!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gimmi!

    I am so getting one of these! I've been saving up for a while!

    It beats needy women big time. I mean women just want sooo much attention, they want to go on dates, they want you to remember their birthday, they want you to tell them how pretty they are, they want you to do every little thing they say or they'll leave you, they require you to get on your knees and kiss their feet, they require you to meet certain anatomy sizes, they dump kids on you out of no where etc etc etc

    It's far too much work for me, at least with this I can stop going to adult clubs and focus on work a lot more!

    /Kidding ;-)

    1. Stoneshop
      Facepalm

      Re: Gimmi!

      they dump kids on you out of no where

      You, sir, appear to be in dire need of a few biology lessons.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Gimmi!

        "You, sir, appear to be in dire need of a few biology lessons."

        Not necessarily - a cuckold could still have a good understanding of human biology.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Gimmi!

        @stoneshop....

        hear that whooshing sound above your head?

        1. Simon Harris
          Coat

          Re: Gimmi!

          "hear that whooshing sound above your head?"

          That'll be the stork!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Gimmi!

      "meet certain anatomy sizes"

      You do know it's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Gimmi!

      "Sorry Dave, not tonight...

      "...I'm busy doing software updates"

      "...my hair needs washing"

      "...my batteries are low"

      "...my clothes need washing"

      "...my body needs cleaning"

      "...the diagnostic says I must take things easier"

      "...I must go home for annual maintenance - will be back in a few weeks"

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sorry Dave, not tonight.....I'm busy doing software updates

        I dont oft reply to ACs, and an upvote is normally enough to imply appreciation of a post, but that was one of my favorites of the week. I'm just recovering from a cold, and this post has shifted some phlegm. Thanks Sir / Madam.

    4. Friendly Neighbourhood Coder Dan

      Re: Gimmi!

      I'm no expert myself, but from what friends tell me I think these dolls can be quite an investment. 3 grand is nothing, unless they need more leccy than a furnace, compared to what some long term XX wetware ( no pun intended ) require.

      1. alain williams Silver badge

        Re: Gimmi!

        compared to what some long term XX wetware require.

        Married for 7 years, been paying alimony for 22 years; spent a fortune in the courts just to see the kids - one of who now lives with me, another I'm paying Uni fees (mature student).

        At $3,000 it would have been cheaper to buy several a year - and less emotionally stressful.

        1. bombastic bob Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: Gimmi!

          @alain

          a poster man for 'nomarriage.com' [welcome to the club]

          I'm close to both Tijuana _AND_ Nevada. A few weekend trips per year, and you "get it" more often, at lower cost, with much greater satisfaction. Just sayin'.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Gimmi!

          Married for 7 years, been paying alimony for 22 years; spent a fortune in the courts just to see the kids - one of who now lives with me, another I'm paying Uni fees (mature student).

          At $3,000 it would have been cheaper to buy several a year - and less emotionally stressful.

          So you didn't want the kids then?

          You know the sexbot won't give you children, and even if it did, it wouldn't put them through university.

          Unless, of course, you were to rent out the sexbot...

    5. K
      Go

      Re: Gimmi!

      Search YouTube for MGTOW... You'll be in good company.

    6. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: Gimmi!

      "/Kidding ;-)"

      heh, nice recovery. did your 'significant other' see you posting that? "Nyeth, Dear..." [the sound of the ultra-nagged kitty-whipped milquetoast hen-pecked hubby]

      at least, if a robot were to start nagging, you could be like Harcourt Fenton Mudd, and just say "Shut up, Stella..." (yeah obligatory Star Trek reference - they recently played an Original Star Trek marathon on BBC America channel, worthy of mention)

  5. 45RPM Silver badge

    The number one pollutant in this world is people. Ideally the world population should be around 1bn - at this level our CO2 emissions would drop to sustainable levels, there’d be enough beef to go round, and our infrastructure wouldn’t be straining at the seams.

    All of which is a long way of saying bring on the sexbots. Make them in male and female versions. Make them fat, thin, youthful, elderly, passive, aggressive, intelligent enough for a little conversation. Make them so desirable that most people won’t want the company of another human.

    There’ll still be enough real shagging that we won’t die out. A few perverts like me will still desire the company of a genuine human partner. But a reduced population will also mean reduced pressure for a dwindling supply of jobs, and also reduced crime.

    Oh dear. I seem to have built sexbots into a panacea for the human condition. And I’m sure that that’s one abuse they can’t take.

    1. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

      Nice idea - if plenty of people didn't want children. However they do.

      Try dating to find someone that definitely doesn't want kids, you'll find it slim pickings.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        That children thing's not a problem. You could gamify the whole situation.

        You have to achieve certain objectives in your fumblings with the sex-bot Shaggadelic 2000TM. When you manage to engage the sensors in just the right way, then you get a LovelyBaby3000 through the post. Perhaps delivered by a driver dressed as a stork... You get a new bigger sized one each year, making clothes purchases far more predictable.

        Then pay a vast sum of money to send it off to AI University.

        1. MJI Silver badge

          Gamifying

          Am I alone in prefering to play games with stuff I cannot do in real life rather than can?

          Done the real baby stuff (x3) now have one which will join me in shooting aliens in the face!

      2. Ogi

        > Try dating to find someone that definitely doesn't want kids, you'll find it slim pickings.

        Just date career women. My past girlfriends don't want kids. Both were super smart lawyers, and very much in the "career woman" mindset. Their idea of a good life is to work hard, make loads of money, and spend it on a good time while traveling the world.

        They primarily wanted company to do the above. I guess it depends on your social circles, or my luck (I actually want kids), but women who "just want fun" and don't want to be tied down with a family are a dime a dozen round here.

        Actually finding a woman willing to sacrifice her career for motherhood, now that is rare here (London, UK).

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why the delay?

      All of which is a long way of saying bring on the sexbots. Make them in male and female versions. Make them fat, thin, youthful, elderly, passive, aggressive, intelligent enough for a little conversation. Make them so desirable that most people won’t want the company of another human.

      Can they make a Megurine Luka version? It would come with a full catalogue of her own music already. Only problem is, she'd probably only want to shag the Hatsune Miku sexbot (yeah, negitoro shipper here)

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: Why the delay?

        "Can they make a Megurine Luka version"

        Kagamine Rin would be better. Heh.

        troll icon because it ALSO looks like a lecherous grin

    3. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Trollface

      "at this level our CO2 emissions would drop to sustainable levels"

      but our METHANE levels would increase, as men continue to eat greasy foods like they're still 15, etc.. "Pull my finger - Muahahahaha!" No need to 'hold it in' or blame the dog, when your 'woman' is a robot. Farts become fun again.

  6. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. Banksy
    Unhappy

    Poor Samantha

    Hope she is repaired soon. However, "Samantha can endure a lot, she will pull through."

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Poor Samantha

      Repaired is not the correct technical term.

      The correct technical term is "decontaminated". That is prior to any decisions to repair or not to repair.

    2. Mine's a Large One
      Coat

      Re: Poor Samantha

      As long as she doesn't pull off!!

    3. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Poor Samantha

      could Samantha be considered a RAPE victim? Will her software undergo PTSD? SJW's, what's YOUR call on this? [I say just erase her memory, like it NEVER happened, a few minor repairs, and "good to go"]

      yeah I know THIS post will get the hate it deserves. heh.

      troll icon, for obvious reasons.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Poor Samantha

        It's certainly rape as she portrays women and she cannot say no. Thus you are raping all women. Not that you weren't already anyway.

      2. katrinab Silver badge

        Re: Poor Samantha

        "could Samantha be considered a RAPE victim?"

        Yes, definitely.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Should this come under "the rise of the machines"?

    1. Simon Harris

      the rise of the machines

      That's the male sex robots.

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