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Welcome to the future: Bluetooth jackets you can only wash 10 times. Gee, thanks, Google

"...said Mark Hung ..."

We all know which garment he'll be sporting.

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How often do you really wash your jacket? This looks like a jean jacket so it would be more, but I would say I get less than 10 washes on most of my jackets. I have a 20 year old leather jacket that I have only thoroughly washed 4 times(countless times I took a wet rag over it) and the leather on the cuffs are starting to get too much wear.

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Coat

Dirty sleeve

I guess the question is, 'Do you frequently wipe one arm of your jacket with dirty hands?'

May get dirtier that a regular jacket.

Either way, it's a horrible idea. All these people with plenty of brains, but not enough common sense to use them for something useful.

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Go

Re: Dirty sleeve

I'm sure the Designers realise that this is not the most useful idea in the world, but as the old saying goes "There's a sucker born every minute". And you may as well try and sell them any old tat while your at it...

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Anonymous Coward

"There's a sucker born every minute"

Now you will spot them easily. Because of the smell...

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@Martin 33

You have a point.

I have a leather jacket that I have owned since new. It has been sent back for replacment liner (worn holes), replacement cuffs and wasteband (Worn cuffs) and replacement zip over the years. It has been washed a total of once. Cleaned off flies (It also does motorcycling duties, but it isn't a specific motorcycling jacket), and it does get conditioned from time to time. I will be buried in this jacket. But I can't see it getting washed again.

But, I wouldn't want a bluetooth thungummy in the thing. I love the part where they state that millenials don't wear watches so they need to sell them something else...

No. No you don't. You can sell a jacket. Find. But seriously? Yes, I have found the 'e-tip' of the gloves I have useful when trying to wrestle with Strava because it thinks I just did 20 miles of cycling in 10 minutes. I do find the odd porthole for headphones useful.

But until you can provide a jacket that has a built in display in the arm*, recovers body heat and motion as stored energy and can warn me about the fact it may rain in the next 30 mins (unlike most apps, recently, which with all the low pressure have been indicating no rain during downpours), AND has built in invisible Solar panels, with a app to display the logo or camouflage of your choice in an outside oled all over the surface, then I won't bother.**

*Which is kind of like having a clear plastic sleeve that you can slide your smartphone into, energy aside. So....

** Not really. This sounds hideous. 16 year old me would probably have thought it wonderful, but then 16 year old me was at the begninning of a lot of life mistakes...

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Trollface

Wasteband?

Is this to avoid comfort breaks on really, really long journeys?

I assume it is located at or below the waist.

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Re: Wasteband?

If you had ever been on a motorcycle when it is below 10 deg cel and your bladder shrinks to the size of a walnut, you too would be glad of a wasteband and the resulting warmth it brings...

*ahem*

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Anonymous Coward

Re: @Martin 33

I love the part where they state that millennial don't wear watches so they need to sell them something else...

Yes, I think that requires some more investigation. Perhaps, why does millennials not wear watches? - and why do millennials compromise by getting an Android device instead of an iPhone?

Could it be that they have little money and are working on zero-hour contracts?

So maybe they won't generally be able to blow loads on *any* "smart" device or apparel and because they are generally educated (and will be loaded with student-loans for their entire life), they make virtue out of necessity?

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"How often do you really wash your jacket?"

Not very often. But my experience with these sort of things is that when the advertising says "up to 10", it means in reality "5", after which it'll be increasingly rubbish and temperamental to a degree that makes it effectively useless and you'll stop using it.

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Re: @Martin 33

> and why do millennials compromise by getting an Android device instead of an iPhone?

Oh look! A troll! There, under that bridge!

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Re: @Martin 33

Ere..should we have a Billy Goat icon when refuting trolls?

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Re: @Martin 33

It's not Millennials that don't wear watches - it's probably a majority these days. I'm Gen X rather than Millennial, and stopped wearing a watch when there was a phone permanently in my pocket. I've at least four watches at home, two of which are fashionable enough to be worn on a regular basis, and haven't bothered for years.

I definitely don't need a remote control in my jacket to control my phone, when I can stick my hand in my pocket and pull it out..

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Re: @Martin 33

Yeah, but the troll did make me laugh when he mentioned 'blowing loads' on a smartphone.... I mean, that's fanboi arousal, right there.

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Alert

light and haptic feedback

via light and haptic feedback

***KATZEEERRRRT***

Scratch one smug beardie hipster millennial bastard

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Pint

Re: light and haptic feedback

A pint for Grade One BOFHery ->

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Does it come with the legend "Plonker" emblazoned across the back?

Because that's what everyone will think when they see the wearer struggling to brush it the right way while defending how useful it is to their mate.

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Maybe they could pretend by wiping their nose on the sleeve, although if they do that jacket might need more than 10 washes.

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Wearables...

Millennial don't wear watches. "Wearables, unless they're inconspicuous, it's hard to get people to wear them,"

Yes, a nice lean wrist watch is so much bulkier than the latest "smart" watch...

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Re: Wearables...

"Millennial don't wear watches. "

Rubbish! So long as it's crap for showing the time, has to be charged every day and costs a small fortune, then it's a must have.

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Coat

Re: Wearables...

"...connected textile platform."

What a time it is to be alive!

Yes, that's mine. No electronics in the fabric - only the pocket.

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Trollface

So if you talked into your sleeve would that be an off-the-cuff comment?

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Anonymous Coward

I've dreamed of the day I can wave hello to someone and pron starts playing on my phone, maybe that day has now come.

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What would be better is for you to wave and pr0n plays on THEIR phone

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but won't it keep starting and stopping with every arm movement?

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Anonymous Coward

There's a special setting for the dominant hand.

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These will be useless in Newcastle!

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Meh

Hey look everyone, a SOLUTION!

now can someone show me the problem?

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Headmaster

"now can someone show me the problem?"

Same as it always has been: idiots currently have too much money.

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Pirate

Re: "now can someone show me the problem?"

Same as it always has been: idiots currently have too much money. Marketeers don't have enough of your money.

FTFY

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Re: "now can someone show me the problem?"

Marketeers don't think they have enough of your money.

FTFY

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Facepalm

As I explained, unsuccessfully, to the Judge...

I have Bluetooth enabled trousers and the sensors are in my pockets to keep them away from moisture and the rain. When I was reported on the tube, I was merely skipping forward a few songs and retweeting a funny remark about cats.

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Hmmm...

I guess by cross referencing the position of your Android phone against that of your jacket, Google can harvest data on how much you feel the cold and try and sell you thermal underwear...

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I thought I'd heard it all...

...but apparently not.

"Google's connected textile platform"

FFS!

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Joke

Re: I thought I'd heard it all...

> [...] Project Jacquard, Google's connected textile platform.

It's a looming disaster.

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Joke

Re: I thought I'd heard it all...

I can't be-weave you would make such a warped joke! Woof!

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What a bunch of curmudgeons!

You'd all be the ones standing round saying things like "This fire is a waste of time, if you leave your meat on too long it turns to a cinder and, although it might be able to fend off a wolf or two, it burns my fingers every time I try to pick it up!" and "look at that twat with the DynaTAC, it's so bulky and expensive, one born every minute he he he"

Clearly this jacket isn't particularly useful but any one who thinks that wearable's aren't going to extend into to clothing is short-sighted and, as with lots of technologies, the very earliest examples is a bit rubbish and very expensive.

So this jacket might be shit, but the iJacket 3 we'll all be clamouring over and queuing overnight to spend a months wages on in 5-10 years time probably won't be.

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Re: What a bunch of curmudgeons!

So this jacket might be shit, but the iJacket 3 we'll all be clamouring over and queuing overnight to spend a months wages on in 5-10 years time probably won't be.

Yeah. Like we're all wearing Google Glasses now. Like everybody uses 3D TV. Even smartwatches have been a dismal failure, with global sales of what, 50m devices this year, compared to around 1.5 billion smartphones. In the UK, TomTom smartwatches were so popular they had to be given away free with vacuum cleaners (I was so impressed that I immediately stuck it on Ebay, and got forty quid for it).

Intelligent clothing may have some very useful functions in technical and some sporting applications, for us everyday peeps, it is yet another blind alley of technology innovation.

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Re: What a bunch of curmudgeons!

"So this jacket might be shit, but the iJacket 3 we'll all be clamouring over and queuing overnight to spend a months wages on in 5-10 years time probably won't be."

Nope.

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Re: What a bunch of curmudgeons!

Nope, I need a device that I can use in a variety of situations, when I'm out walking my dogs, or when I'm commuting to work, or when I'm out socialising,... something that can be transferred from one outfit to another, maybe in a pocket, maybe,... a mobile phone?

Voice control renders this device a bit useless, doesn't it? Also, I could start and stop music etc with my Smartwatch,... if I ever wore it, but keeping it charged was such a PITA I gave up on it.

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Re: What a bunch of curmudgeons!

I won't wait in line more than 5 minutes for anything, I'm certainly not waiting in line overnight, that's for idiots.

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Re: What a bunch of curmudgeons!

You'd all be the ones standing round saying things like "This fire is a waste of time, if you leave your meat on too long it turns to a cinder and, although it might be able to fend off a wolf or two, it burns my fingers every time I try to pick it up!"

Oh, stuff it up your nose!!

(Grateful thanks to one Mr. D Adams)

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"this jacket might be shit, but the iJacket 3..."

If you think I'm queuing overnight without a jacket, you can think again.

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The cuff presently supports four gestures

I' suspect they'll find they've implemented "Brush off" without necessarily being aware of it.

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Re: The cuff presently supports four gestures

...and considering it's a denim jacket with metal buttons or press studs, and the actual device needs to be connected to the touch area, why not just have two extra studs in the relevant place, connect the device and presto, no special, limited life, limited wash "smart" material needed.

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Anonymous Coward

you should never wash a pair of jeans

An article from 2016. Levi’s CEO explains why you should never wash a pair of jeans.

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Re: you should never wash a pair of jeans

Spoken by a man who clearly never does any work, and for whom the pressing problem of cleanliness is brushing the dandruff specks off his jeans.

Back here in the real world, there's this stuff called "dirt", it comes in a billion different flavours, colours, smells, textures, and most of it laughs in the face of a gentle rub from a toothbrush. It is magically attracted to anything clean or new,

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Joke

Re: you should never wash a pair of jeans

Of course you shouldnt wash your Jeans! That's your butler's Job! Sheesh, it's like we're living in different worlds here...

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Re: you should never wash a pair of jeans

Levi’s CEO explains why you should never wash a pair of jeans.

"Because I sell jeans, and want you to buy new ones rather than maintain ones you already own."

Next up, BMW's CEO on why you should never use the clutch when you change gear.

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Re: you should never wash a pair of jeans

Terribly sorry to have to correct Sir, but it is the job of Sir's valet to deal with the washing of Sir's jeans, not Sir's butler.

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