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'Don't Google Google, Googling Google is wrong', says Google

Anonymous Coward

Real Developers write developer documentation not PhD theses.

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"Real programmers" in the Ed Post sense, don't write documentation.

Real developers, in my experience, often write barely comprehensible poorly structured documentation that does little to help anyone who has to maintain their code. It will tell you that the function LogMessage logs a message, but doesn't tell you how the code fits together, how the underlying algorithm works or what the business need was.

Now that we're all Agile, of course, we prefer working code over documentation. Which is fine; just show me some perfectly working code.

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Pirate

Don't "Google it"!

This demand will likely be obeyed with the same rigour as Hormel's demand that we stop blocking "spam" and Adobe's demand that we stop "photoshopping" images.

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Re: Don't "Google it"!

Yes.... google, you have got to that level of fame, stop moaning about grammar, and be proud that almost no-one says 'search the internet' anymore!! If bing had been as good and inclusive, superbly effective etc, we would use that word...

we all say 'sellotape' even though it usually a cheaper brand of adhesive tape!! same thing with Hoover, etc...

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Re: Don't "Google it"!

I was working for MS via a third party when Bing was just being rolled out and scuttlebutt was that while the engine was being developed and demonstrated internally the engineers kept saying "and then I google <thing>" over and over, until some exec stopped them and said "But it's not Google". No idea how true that is, but I really hope it happened like that.

In particular because at the time they were just literally Googling stuff and reformatting the results...

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I'm not a coder, but I read a lot of code to gain insight into problems I'm tasked with fixing. I've learned to identify developers by their peculiar spelling and grammar quirks. For example, "thier" in a comment line indicates Andy wrote that particular routine, while "there" when he means "they're" points to Bob. And, if the code contains proper grammar and missing joins in an SQL query, of course it's Carl!

Bless their hearts. I love them all.

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Anonymous Coward

Google is the king of "Jank"

“Jank” (Wiktionary says “blocking of a software application's user interface due to slow operations or poor interface design”) should be used with care"

Tell that to the Google team that came up with the web based Gmail login page, the Gmail remove accounts (from login page) and the tedious 35 step process to check/'opt-out' of, what are just 5 settings, in terms of setting user privacy regards Google's data slurp.

Google is the king of "Jank".

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Re: Google is the king of "Jank"

May I nominate Google News on mobile which isn't just janky but often siezes up completely.

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Re: Google is the king of "Jank"

Funny enough it does the same on a Pixel using Chrome.

Or displays "local" news from Mountain View, when I live about a thousand miles away, which the phone surely knows.

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+1 for killing "learnings". Next up against the wall, "learners" (pupils) and "reached out to" (contacted).

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Thumb Up

Contacting someone implies you were successful; "reaching out" and "pinging" can be useful in context, especially if you don't really care about the result: "Yeah, I reached out to (difficult person with a notoriously short attention span) [with a PGP encrypted linguine-long technical proposal] and s/he didn't have any objections"

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re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"Reaching out" implies you used your arm and "pinging" implies you used an ICMP packet.

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"i will be doing the necessary".

Someone in India has taught all the call centre staff this. it makes me giggle and go crazy in equal amounts.

And yank date format....eeeurgh.

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I think the old airline abbreviations UTC and LMTCB work over "reached out".

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Anonymous Coward

"[...] "learners" (pupils) [...]"

You can be learning something by experience without being a pupil or even a student. Possibly "novice" or "tyro" are closer.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"and "pinging" implies you used an ICMP packet."

Not necessarily. The TCP-IP context derives from the use of literal "pings" in ASDIC/SONAR in underwater warfare.Therefore it can have a similar figurative use in any attempt at contact that consists of a short question/answer exchange.

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"i will be doing the necessary"

I learned it as "I will be doing the needful."

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

Make sure you revert with the needful by [some arbitrary time] sharp!

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Boffin

Lets remove a few more. I suggest we get rid of such misuses as...

Share - try "discuss" instead

and

Student - when they mean pre university school pupils

Then, all you kids can get off my lawn!

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

Yes, and both of these really just mean "checked to see if something was there."

In that context, I can go around pinging customers all day, but it won't really tell me anything useful, apart from those people still exist or that they are not responding.

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"i will be doing the necessary".

Someone in India has taught all the call centre staff this. it makes me giggle and go crazy in equal amounts.

Almost certainly standard Indian English, which is yet another variation in our great common tongue. My personal favourite IndEng word is "prepone", meaning "to bring forward in time", by analogy with "postpone".

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"i will be doing the necessary"

I learned it as "I will be doing the needful."

Whatever. Just don't accidentally the whole thing again, OK?

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Anonymous Coward

Can we please add

"surfacing" to the death list. PLEASE? I throw up a little in my mouth every time I hear someone say that they "surfaced" something, or their nifty new application "surfaces" some magical data. FFS.

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Re: Can we please add

Luckily for me, I don't think I've heard that one yet. What does it mean, "derived" or "generated" or "discovered"?

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

My personal favourite IndEng word is "prepone", meaning "to bring forward in time", by analogy with "postpone".

Mine is "doubt" to express a misunderstanding. As an academic I am sometimes contacted by Indian students/researchers expressing a "doubt" about some aspect of my published work. The first few times this happened I thought they were being a bit cheeky, until I twigged that they were just seeking clarification.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

Yeah but the cnuts with whom I work can regularly be heard using the phrase "I'll ping you an email"...

If I wasn't so anonymous I'd think they do it just to wind me up.

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

> "Reaching out" implies you used your arm....

Is that the same as fisting?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Can we please add

Expose(s)

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

""i will be doing the necessary".

Someone in India has taught all the call centre staff this. it makes me giggle and go crazy in equal amounts."

Does this sound weird to Anglos ? It's the literal translation of a standard French expression.

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"i will be doing the necessary".

"Please do the needful" was my favorite variation on that.

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"Pinging" sounds like flicking the target in the ear

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

The TCP-IP context derives from the use of literal "pings" in ASDIC/SONAR in underwater warfare.

Ping is ICMP, not TCP...

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Next up against the wall

...and gifting.

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"Reaching out" implies you used your arm and "pinging" implies you used an ICMP packet.

I read that as using an ICBM, and thought that's quite a ping! :)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

"Ping is ICMP, not TCP..."

Have an upvote (up-vote?) for petty correction of the day!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

And ICMP is part of the TCP/IP protocol stack...

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Re: re: Contacting someone implies you were successful;...

No, it sits directly on top of bare IP.

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September 13, 2017

Is still American date format, just not MM-DD-YYYY and is still an abomination

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Re: September 13, 2017

Damn straight. Everyone should adopt the UNIX timestamp and be done with it.

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Re: September 13, 2017

True but at least it is unambiguous. It is ridiculous that it still isn't standardised to use yyyymmdd with or without hyphens or colons. The amount of times I've either been struggling to find a log entry only to realise the date format hasn't been localised or I have to scroll down out of the single digit dates to see what format they are using [fragmentation, consider re-writing]

Similar for times when using a cloudy service.[don't use nouns as adjectives] Are they local to the cloud, are they local are they UTC?[Rhetorical, avoid]

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Re: September 13, 2017

i think you mean iso date format rather than unix.

if you're going to put the day after the month then the year should go before them both.

while we're on the subject, iso time format should also be preferred. am and pm are anathema in my book.

date-time should always be in gmt, obviously. (i don't refer to it as utc as i'm from greenwich). zulu rules, ok.

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Re: September 13, 2017

But UTC was adopted on the grounds that the UK might decide to implement double summer time, and move the winter time an hour forward, or adopt BST all year round. At that point, GMT would then be different from UTC.

Currently only Morocco uses UTC, as they don't bother with the summer/winter time stuff.

And before you ask, I live in WET, which is currently the same as GMT...

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Re: September 13, 2017

GMT is not the same as UTC, there can be a difference of up to 2 seconds between the two.

GMT is based on the actual position of the sun at noon on the Greenwich meridian. UTC is taken from an atomic clock that can be adjusted up to twice a year on 30th June and 31st December by one second backwards or forwards to bring it closer to GMT.

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Coat

Re: am and pm

In these pc days shirly we need more than 2 options?

I mean, this IS the 21st century after all. Just having 2 options is so last century.

am, ateabreak, pteabreak, ap, pp, ash*t, psh*t, aamsh*t, alunch, plunch, aidon'tgiveaflyingfu*km ...

Hmmmm my spellchecker didn't complain about ash*t.

NURSE! I need a commode. Or a new iphone.

>>Thanks. You don't want to know what's in the pocketses

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WTF?

Re: GMT

No, GMT would remain GMT whatever the Grubbymint decides watches in Greenwich should be set to. It's a standard, see. Like badgers' feet.

C'mon, standards soviet. We need a standard location for standard time to give a standard offset from Imaginary Time. AND a set of real elReg time units.

That'd end all the confusion for good. Ideas on the back of a perfectly smooth badger please ....

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Re: September 13, 2017

nope, stop thinking like a machine and start demanding to be treated as a human bean... why WE human beans have to learn/bend to a machine-friendly version of the date is what is wrong with society in a nutshell...

the only unambiguous, HUMAN-FRIENDLY date format is wed13sep2017, all the rest is giving up your humanity for the convenience of machines...

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Stop

Re: September 13, 2017

As long as you read it as "September THE 13th, 2017", it sounds OK in the UK to my ear. As someone else said, it's a good US / UK compromise.

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Re: September 13, 2017

ISO 8601, RFC 3339: the justification solid and irrefutable, and cultural bias is just that, bias.

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Re: September 13, 2017

It's six potatoes versus half a dozen tomatoes but my computer pops up a short, unambiguous "Wednesday 13 September 2017" which I read as "Wenzday the 13th of September 2000 and 17".

Given that my computer is in France, with local time (French ) correctly displayed and with the date written in English, the decimal point being a full stop not a comma, and monetary symbol being whatever I want - I am very content, and quite amazed at the common sense of the various programmers involved.

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