back to article 10 minutes of silence storms iTunes charts thanks to awful Apple UI

A song that consists entirely of ten minutes of silence has cracked the top 50 on Apple's iTunes charts. The smash-hit, "A a a a Very Good Song" by New York-based reporter Samir Mezrahi, is in fact a rather clever trick to get around one of the more annoying bugs in the way iTunes syncs up with cars via Bluetooth. Drivers and …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So, regarding ker-ching, what does a 30s-40s charts listing relate to in absolute numbers?

    1. Jtom

      If the ker-cheng is big enough, then this opus will be replaced by an identical work named a a a a a a a an even better song, that will sell for $ 0.50.

  2. Vector

    Not limited to iPhones

    I have the same annoyance with my Android phone and my car's audio system has no option to disable autoplay. I finally had to fix it by using tasker to intercept the play command on my phone.

    Yet another example of modern applications trying to be to @#$@ing helpful!!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not limited to iPhones

      Pretty much every car I've ever connected to has done this to every device I've connected to it. I wouldn't be surprised if the Hit Play On Connect logic was baked into whatever mass produced Chinesium is managing the bluetooth for all these devices.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Not limited to iPhones

        This why I have my phone bluetooth connection to the car set to phone audio only. Apart from anything else, when listening to other sources, eg an actual radio station (yes, they still exist!), the 2GB of on-board RAM I filler with music, or the 32GB USB pen drive plugged into the USB port, I also don't want the phone commandeering the audio system every time it wants to beep at me to say a new email has arrived or that the battery just finished charging.

      2. david 12 Silver badge

        Re: Not limited to iPhones

        >baked into whatever mass produced Chinesium<

        It's baked into (American) Apple software licensed to the people who build cars.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Not limited to iPhones

          > It's baked into (American) Apple software licensed to the people who build cars.

          You didn't read the story (or comments) did you? Here's the line from the story:

          "Owners of Android phones have made similar complaints, and the problem is not limited to one make or model of car"

          How would Android owners be affected by Apple software? It's not just car's with Apple's CarPlay anyway.

    2. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      Re: Not limited to iPhones

      Car entertainment systems are, for some reason, stuck in the stone age when it comes to handling audio on connected devices such as bluetooth and USB drives.

      A friend's year-old Toyota Camry starts playing the first song on his USB drive every time he starts the car. It doesn't remember where it was.

      The bluetooth sound quality in my five year old Nissan is atrocious so I use a USB drive as well. It sorts the contents in file system order rather than alphanumerically. There are tools to fix that but why should it be necessary?

      And my kingdom for a car entertainment system that recognises ReplayGain tags...

      How can it all be so bloody difficult?

      1. John Riddoch

        Re: Not limited to iPhones

        VW Passat entertainment system isn't too bad - it'll remember which song it was on if I remove the USB drive to sync more songs to it and reconnect before starting up. Main issue is that if I try to shuffle, it only picks the first few hundred songs it finds, so I get a lot of AC/DC, Bullet for my Valentine, Black Sabbath etc, not so much ZZ Top, though....

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: Not limited to iPhones

          "not so much ZZ Top, though...."
          Now that is bad news... Not so much Zappa, or Spooky Tooth either I imagine.

      2. Spudley

        Re: Not limited to iPhones

        How can it all be so bloody difficult?

        It's difficult because ultimately car vendors know that you don't buy a car on the strength of its in-car entertainment system. Most people buy cars based on other features: drive quality, comfort, boot space, engine performance, fuel efficiency... all of those things are generally more important to people than the entertainment / navigation system. Particularly because most of the failings of these systems are pretty easy for the sales person to gloss over; when you buy the car, you're happy that it has an entertainment system with specific features you want, but it's only once you actually use it day-to-day that you start to hit the bugs and shortcomings.

        My car has a built-in satnav. The car isn't that old, but the satnav is virtually useless because it's maps are out-dated. I asked about getting an update for the maps, and it would cost £200. I could buy (and have bought) a whole new stand-alone satnav for that price, with free map updates included. The UI for the built-in satnav is also abysmal. It's very frustrating to use, and it's clear that they didn't really put much effort into it. The point is that when you look at a list of features, it ticks the "has built-in satnav" box: the feature exists and it works; that's all it really needs to do.

        1. cambsukguy

          Re: Not limited to iPhones

          And the next time you buy a car?

          You decide not to buy that manufacturer because the BT or SatNav is crap.

          All other things being equal, one way or the other, reliability, price etc. one may choose based on the better SatNav, or at least buy one without SatNav 'cause they are all out-of-date unless they are connected and have free update, which phone SatNav apps do for instance.

        2. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

          Re: Not limited to iPhones

          At the time I enquired, Nissan wanted to charge me more for a satnav map upgrade than the cost of a new Nexus 5. So, still running the original maps.

          1. Shady

            Re: Not limited to iPhones

            I once went to a dealer to get a map update DVD for my 2005 vintage Volvo S40. This was about 2008, and the maps were already so out of date the Sat Nav wasn't capable of getting me from Derby to Tenby without the motorway. At all.

            £600 they said.

            I only want the discs, and then only for the UK if that's an option, I said, perhaps naively.

            Six Hundred Quid they said. 500 + VAT.

            Six Hundred *Fookin* quid for a disc? Said I.

            A trip to Halfords and £250 later I had a better, faster Tom Tom and my pop-up in-dash sat nav never popped up again.

  3. Len Goddard

    Simple tech is good

    I connect my player to the car radio with a wire. No autoplay to worry about.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Simple tech is good

      Yeah I've recently started doing that too.

      Doesn't take as long to sync, way less battery drain on the phone, and gives me back control over what gets played, rather than some semi-ransom decision Android makes on the basis of what I finished listening to five journeys ago ...

    2. Deft

      Re: Simple tech is good

      Don't worry, those pesky analog audio outs will be obsolete soon.

  4. DNTP

    Autoplay and Rule 34

    There is a subclause in Rule 34 which states that for any device with both an autoplay function and stored pornography, at some definite point in time will automatically display and/or broadcast said pornography. Usually at the worst possible definite point in time.

    Note that this phenomenon will inevitably take place regardless of any 'foolproof' changes to user settings, disabled interfaces, or .nomedia files.

    1. J. R. Hartley

      Re: Autoplay and Rule 34

      The struggle is real.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Autoplay and Rule 34

        That'd be the track, "A a a a a a a a ooh ooh ooh ooh yes yes baby more deeper ooh ooh AAAAAAA"

  5. OffBeatMammal

    not just cars...

    I have a similar frustration with Alexa and Spotify.

    "Alexa, play Chemical Brothers on Spotify" will *always* play tracks in the same order, even if you had shuffle turned on before.

    So, my routine is now more along the lines of:

    "Alexa, play Chemical Brothers on Spotify", "Alexa Shuffle", "Alexa skip"

    or ... totally defeating the voice centric model, I use the Spotify app to select what I want, hit the random button and then tell it to play on the relevant Echo device...

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This is driving me nuts forever

    Mine does the same but it plays a "random" song and always from the last service used. A blank song would not help me at all. If I played Spotify then it will start playing Spotify when the car connects via bluetooth. Even if the radio is off. If I don't notice this on time it will use my bandwidth for hours. I have to switch to a local playlist every time I leave the car and used Spotify. And switching off "Autoplay" in my car (and autoplay exists in the settings) does not do anything.

    I guess I have to live with that.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. Diogenes

    Copyright violation ?

    Will John Cage's estate sue? It is a blatant ripoff of 4'33 aka Four minutes, thirty-three seconds. (yes it is areal thing - look it up)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Diogenes - Re: Copyright violation ?

      No way, this one is 10 minutes and the intensity level is different.

    2. JimboSmith Silver badge

      Re: Copyright violation ?

      Ask Mike Batt about it but I suspect you might not get a polite response.

    3. DNTP
      Joke

      Re: Copyright violation ?

      I think it's a copyright violation- after all, I can't hear the difference!

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Copyright violation ?

        I'd ask Simon and Garfunkel about the sound of silence.

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: Copyright violation ?

          "I'd ask Simon and Garfunkel about the sound of silence."

          "For the words of the profits were written on the studio wall, concert hall, and echoes with the sounds of salesmen..."

    4. JeffyPoooh
      Pint

      Re: Copyright violation ?

      I came here with "John Cage" in my Copy-And-Paste buffer. You beat me to it...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ford Falcon iPod integration

    Music by wire, just leave it permanently plugged in, instantly recognises the iPod and starts playing exactly where it left off. Every time. Controls on the steering wheel and a colour screen with track info and artwork.

    Lovely.

    When I hire a car I don't bother with playing my music due to the A-Z play mode.

    I've heard the intro to "Abacab" much too often now.

  9. DownUndaRob

    Plagiarised..

    Paging the estate of John Cage...

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4%E2%80%B233%E2%80%B3

    1. EddieD
      Go

      Re: Plagiarised..

      The John Cage piece 4' 33" is purely meant to be "played" live - the ambient sounds that the listeners become aware of, are meant to be the "music".

      This track, however, comprises a pre-recorded "silence" which is therefore completely different, and not plagiarism.

      Having been to a "performance" of 4' 33", the main accompaniment was the sound of folks checking the time so that they could sprint to the bar as soon as it concluded.

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        Re: Plagiarised..

        "The John Cage piece 4' 33" is purely meant to be "played" live - the ambient sounds that the listeners become aware of, are meant to be the "music"."
        It goes a little deeper than that I suspect. Cage meant us to think about such things as location, performance... It almost certainly inspired such pieces as Symphony of Australian Birds and that wonderful track by Jeff Beck where he plays a duet with a blackbird. It's good to be challenged sometimes methinks...

      2. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

        Re: Plagiarised..

        Eh? 4'33" is the supposed length, because it's 273 seconds, a reference to absolute zero, where everything stops, hence silence, so I'm not convinced the audience are supposed dig the ambient noise.

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: Plagiarised..

          "it's 273 seconds, a reference to absolute zero, where everything stops, hence silence"
          Except you can only asymptotically approach absolute zero. It is not the lowest enthalpy state possible.

          1. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

            Re: Plagiarised..

            Go tell the 'composer'.

  10. TheElder

    10 minutes of silence

    This qualifies as a hack. It is about as good as it gets too.

    Copyright violation ?

    One cannot copyright titles, only content. It has no content.

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: 10 minutes of silence

      "One cannot copyright titles, only content. It has no content."
      Er... I just created two wav files of 10 minutes silence. The 24 bit version is 105,840,044 bytes in size; the 32 bit version is 211,681,280 bytes in size. My questions are:

      1. If there's no content, then what is it that's occupying disk space?

      2. Will the cognoscenti be able to perceive a difference between the 24 bit and 32 bit versions?

      3. Will converting the wav files to 320 kb/s MP3 distort the silence to the extent that it becomes annoying?

      1. TheElder

        Re: 10 minutes of silence

        It is occupied by nothing. Same as zero on the number line.

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: 10 minutes of silence

          "It is occupied by nothing. Same as zero on the number line."
          So why is the 32 bit version twice the size of the 24 bit version? Shirley 0*2=0

          1. TheElder

            So why is the 32 bit version twice the size

            Because it is a computer. The recording and reproduction code is a different matter. It is not the content. It is like the surface of the tape in a tape recorder.

            1. TheElder

              Re: So why is the 32 bit version twice the size

              If you made it a file with maximum compression then the length would be a single bit = 0. The playback time could be slowed to whatever you want.

              1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                Re: So why is the 32 bit version twice the size

                "If you made it a file with maximum compression then the length would be a single bit = 0. The playback time could be slowed to whatever you want."
                Which means that there is no resemblance between 4'33" and recordings of silence. 4'33" is four minutes and 33 seconds of musicians not playing their instruments (tacet in the score). They are nevertheless performing and recordings of 4'33" have differing content.

                1. TheElder

                  Re: So why is the 32 bit version twice the size

                  It also reminds me of a vacuum tube (valve). It is a container filled with nothing. It doesn't matter what size it is, it is still filled with same amount of nothing.

                  To me it feels like an inverse of Zeno's Dichotomy paradox. Instead of not being able to cut the distance in half an infinite number of times to get to the end of the line it must be at the end of the line since the line is infinitely short.

                  1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                    Re: So why is the 32 bit version twice the size

                    "It also reminds me of a vacuum tube (valve). It is a container filled with nothing. It doesn't matter what size it is, it is still filled with same amount of nothing."
                    I can't buy that! I've been told that the vacuum of outer space is far emptier than the vacuums we create on Earth's surface. IOW, neither are truly empty. In any event, when I studied physics, I learnt that what I perceive as a solid is no such thing; it's mostly empty space with a few atomic nuclei dispersed throughout.

                    FWIW, my various 4'33" silences vary in size from 587 KB to 206719 KB though they all sound the same. Nothing at all like Cage's 4' 33".

                    Here's one with a full orchestra

                    Death Metal Cover by Dead Territory

                    When I suggested to my late friend Lobby Loyde he do Cage's 4'33" he said, "go fuck yourself" and played this instead.

                    This isn't the original or at the time...

                    1. TheElder

                      I can't buy that!

                      It is an approximation. The value zero isn't. It is like the Big Bang. It is an approximation of nothing but not nearly as good as an earth made vacuum.

                      Some say the number of atoms is around 10^82 or so. But what if there are parallel Universes? What if they are infinite? Then the number of atoms is infinite. Not a very good approximation at all.

              2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
                Devil

                Re: So why is the 32 bit version twice the size

                If you made it a file with maximum compression then the length would be a single bit = 0. The playback time could be slowed to whatever you want.

                Even at 256 kb/s I would still be able to hear the compression artefacts. Let alone at your appalling suggestion of using max compression! I expect this file to be in FLAC format, and nothing less.

                Also, if you don't have oxygen free cabling and a proper source, with a DAC costing at least £1,000, then your ears must be made of lead!

            2. Pompous Git Silver badge

              Re: So why is the 32 bit version twice the size

              "It is like the surface of the tape in a tape recorder."
              That comes off on the tape heads when the tape gets old enough; even professional tapes used for creating copies from the master.

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: 10 minutes of silence

        "2. Will the cognoscenti be able to perceive a difference between the 24 bit and 32 bit versions?"

        Only when using oxygen-free Pewer Gould Monster cables.

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