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back to article Funnily enough, charging ££££s for trashy bling-phones wasn't a great idea

Vertu, the British smartphone maker known for its obscenely expensive blinged-out handsets, will shut down over an apparent lack of interest in obscenely expensive blinged-out handsets. The bust biz, which did not return a request for comment, was wound up this week in London's High Court. It will liquidate assets and put …

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  1. katrinab Silver badge

    "In the meantime, those who want to boost their own self-esteem by paying out the nose for a smartphone can take solace in the reports that Apple's next iPhone will come with a price tag of more than $1,200 (£916)."

    Which is about 1/10th of the price of a dumbphone from Vertu, and you can do a lot more with it.

    12 22 Reply
    1. israel_hands
      Reply Icon

      Slippery slope...

      You almost sound as if you're defending the price of the new iTat.

      45 9 Reply
    2. JimboSmith Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Actually the large sapphire screen on their smartphones was brilliant, probably the best bit. I saw a video on line of someone attempting to scratch a vertu screen. Really gave it a good go and something that would have done in gorilla glass (at the time) didn't leave a mark. Was always very impressed with that and hoped it would make it into more mainstream phones. The fact that Apple tried and failed suggests we won't see it anytime soon. The Concierge was also supposed to be quite good, the same firm also do the Coutts concierge i believe.

      6 0 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Since phones became all screen that meant less opportunities for personalization. No room for diamonds buttons and the like. The back cover offers less opportunities. Difficult to build a business on bling phones today.

        9 0 Reply
    3. K
      Reply Icon
      Trollface

      Bet I can do more with my 128GB Mi Max... including go on a weeks holiday with the money I saved!

      6 0 Reply
    4. Slx
      Reply Icon

      And if the Tories keep flapping their mouths and causing Sterling to sink it could easily be £1200 by the time it launches.

      12 2 Reply
  2. PhilipN Silver badge

    "paying out the nose"

    What? Is this an Americanism? Blimey. Over 'ere we pay "through" the nose, or pay out ...I dunno... rope?

    Learn something new ...

    27 1 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "paying out the nose"

      I'm an American, and I'm more used to the phrase "paying through the nose" as well. Sounds more like a case of someone trying to make sense of an absurd metaphor.

      14 0 Reply
    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "paying out the nose"

      Actually, we say "paying out the ass". But since you Brits can't even say ass properly, I don't blame the author for mixing the metaphor.

      7 69 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "paying out the nose"

        Downvoted for being an arse hole.

        81 2 Reply
      2. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "paying out the nose"

        > since you Brits can't even say ass properly,

        Over here we pronounce it donkey.

        83 1 Reply
        1. jake Silver badge
          Reply Icon

          Re: "paying out the nose"

          There is a reason that Bottom was an Ass ... Not that I know anything about British Literature, y'unnerstan' ;-)

          10 0 Reply
      3. MrDamage Silver badge
        Reply Icon

        Re: "paying out the nose"

        > "Actually, we say "paying out the ass". But since you Brits can't even say ass properly, I don't blame the author for mixing the metaphor."

        Brits, and Aussies for that matter, know how to says ass. It's just we know the difference between a donkey and a sphincter.

        49 1 Reply
        1. AMBxx Silver badge
          Reply Icon
          Stop

          Re: "paying out the nose"

          Give the American a break - he makes a half decent joke then received a barrage of down-votes.

          24 1 Reply
          1. Anonymous Coward
            Reply Icon
            Holmes

            Re: "paying out the nose"

            I broke the downvote counter the last time I made an observation about how rounders is a pathetically inverior version of American baseball.

            10 27 Reply
            1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
              Reply Icon
              Coat

              Re: "paying out the nose"

              "I broke the downvote counter the last time I made an observation about how rounders is a pathetically inverior version of American baseball."

              Downvote for "inverior".

              From a non-native speaker.

              (Mine's the one with the copy of "English for Runaways" in the pocket.)

              10 3 Reply
            2. Teiwaz
              Reply Icon

              Re: "paying out the nose"

              I broke the downvote counter the last time I made an observation about how rounders is a pathetically inverior version of American baseball.

              Really? I could have expected that response maybe for Cricket, but not 'rounders' I thought only preteens played that...bu then I don't pay a lot of attention to sport, their might be a professional 'series', leaugue or 'world championship' I don't know about.

              No one would get that impassioned about an amateur game... You don't hear the Hockey fans belittle Polo much....

              I also got the impression most americans were less baseball focused in favour of 'football' the last few decades.

              3 0 Reply
              1. flokie
                Reply Icon

                Re: "paying out the nose"

                Not sure whether that's an American thing or the NFL getting focus from the UK. Thinking of the NBA, getting virtually ignored here, but go to France and it's a big deal. I have no idea what's actually the most popular in the US. Baseball - which is the one with the all American "World Series" IIRC - certainly doesn't seem to get much following from Europe.

                2 0 Reply
              2. GrapeBunch
                Reply Icon
                Coat

                Re: "paying out the nose"

                "No one would get that impassioned about an amateur game... You don't hear the Hockey fans belittle Polo much...."

                Field Hockey is just an inferior form of Hockey played without ice and only one arm.

                Polo is just an inferior form of Field Hockey played by arses riding large donkeys.

                FTFY. Didn't want to, but you asked for it.

                Mine's the one with the tuque hidden in the sleeve.

                8 0 Reply
                1. Mark 85
                  Reply Icon
                  Coat

                  Re: "paying out the nose"

                  Hockey (in North America at least) is, according to one well-known person, ice-skating, playing with a buck, and fighting all mix into one "sport". Icon: Coat because ice is cold.

                  2 0 Reply
                2. Mage Silver badge
                  Reply Icon

                  Re: "paying out the nose"

                  Hurling is ice hockey without needing pesky ice.

                  2 0 Reply
                  1. Heironymous Coward
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                    Re: "paying out the nose"

                    and the pesky armour.

                    1 0 Reply
                  2. jake Silver badge
                    Reply Icon

                    Re: "paying out the nose"

                    Hurling is similar to slow-motion hockey lacking the necessary ice.

                    (The armor is kinda required; the human body isn't really designed for the kind of forces that can be generated when moving several times normal speed.)

                    1 0 Reply

            3. This post has been deleted by its author

              1. jake Silver badge
                Reply Icon

                Re: "paying out the nose"

                Stick and ball games with "safe zones" for runners go back at least a couple thousand years, long before the concept of "England" existed. In Wales[0] they still play a variation called "Baseball" that goes back centuries.

                That said, as a Yank who enjoys both sports, I'm equally happy watching quality Cricket or professional American Baseball. But if I had my druthers, I'd rather be playing County Cricket. We're trying to get the sport to catch on here in the US, but it's been a bit of a slog ... the the way I see it, if the Soccer folks can make headway, Cricket has a shot.

                Yank football is conceptually a good sport, but the salary cap and arbitration ruined it.

                Basketball sucks. End of discussion.

                Ice Hockey is the sport of the gawd/esses. If you don't believe me, learn to play it.

                [0] For values of "Wales" that include Merseyside ...

                3 0 Reply
              2. Nattrash
                Reply Icon
                Trollface

                Re: "paying out the nose"

                Now, I've seen all this talk about noses, sphincters, and donkeys here...

                And I know language can be a difficult, varied, and curious thing...

                But now you start talking about stool-ball...

                I know you Brits always were a bit weird, but talking about strange hobbies...

                2 0 Reply
        2. oiseau
          Reply Icon
          Pint

          Re: "paying out the nose"

          "Brits, and Aussies for that matter, know how to says ass. It's just we know the difference between a donkey and a sphincter."

          Indeed ...

          And anyone else who speaks proper Queen's english, for that matter.

          But ...

          Wouldn't that be 'anus' and not 'sphincter'?

          Have a good weekend.

          10 0 Reply
          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
            Reply Icon
            Thumb Up

            Re: "paying out the nose"

            "Wouldn't that be 'anus' and not 'sphincter'?"

            Oh, that's just horiiblus!

            3 0 Reply
          2. Horridbloke
            Reply Icon

            Re: "paying out the nose"

            "Wouldn't that be 'anus' and not 'sphincter'?"

            For you perhaps. I went to a very posh school where it was pronounced "arnus".

            2 0 Reply
        3. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
          Reply Icon

          Re: "paying out the nose"

          As this seems to be the emerging topic for the weekend, book tip:

          Nick Cave - And the Ass Saw the Angel

          (And before you get any ideas, the title is a biblical quotation from the Book of Numbers, Chapter 22, Verses 23-31: "And the ass saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way, ...")

          5 0 Reply
      4. Colabroad
        Reply Icon

        Re: "paying out the nose"

        - "But since you Brits can't even say ass properly,"

        We are quite capable actually, we also know the difference between a donkey and one's poop chute!

        1 0 Reply
    3. jake Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: "paying out the nose"

      Strangely enough, I grew up saying "through the nose (Palo Alto, California), When I got to Blighty for the first time (Bude), my friends at the Primary school used "out the nose".

      Ain't nowt daft as t'English Language ... thankfully. When you think about it, this place would be awfully boring if we all spoke^Wtyped the same dialect and with the same slang.

      12 1 Reply
    4. Andy Tunnah
      Reply Icon

      Re: "paying out the nose"

      Out the arse or through the nose.

      4 0 Reply
  3. redpawn

    Not Ugly Enough

    These blinged-out phones are not up to the standards of ugly often desired by the near super rich and super rich. Just look at their newly built homes and you will get the idea.

    25 0 Reply
    1. Captain DaFt
      Reply Icon

      Re: Not Ugly Enough

      Well the BBC article states:

      "One technology analyst said Vertu would have faced competition from companies offering to customise other smartphones with precious materials."

      Which strikes as spot on. Anyone who has the money will want something tailor made for them by a boutique, rather than mere pricey commercial goods.

      13 0 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not Ugly Enough

        You could customise your vertu though with exotic leathers and skins etc. that was one of the selling points.

        0 0 Reply
        1. eldakka
          Reply Icon

          Re: Not Ugly Enough

          As you can with any phone for a lot less.

          It's called a custom case.

          7 0 Reply
      2. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
        Reply Icon
        Thumb Up

        Re: Not Ugly Enough

        Well the BBC article states: "One technology analyst said Vertu would have faced competition..."

        Thank fuck they didn't say "would of". There's hope for us yet.

        20 0 Reply
  4. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    So you can lose money by underestimating the taste of the public.

    18 0 Reply
    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Trollface

      *shakes head* I never thought I'd see the day...

      7 0 Reply
  5. Tim99 Silver badge
    Trollface

    Android?

    Well, there's your problem.

    7 17 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Devil

      Re: Android?

      Right, you're not rich and stylish enough if you can't afford an iThing. The Internet says so.

      12 2 Reply
  6. Amorous Cowherder
    Happy

    Oh come on

    It'd be easy to gloat but come on, if you had a great idea to attempt to help very rich trust-funded tat-collectors fork over their cash by the suitcase on some daft idea of yours, you wouldn't do it? I know I bloody well would!

    Shame, I really wanted Vertu to work as it proved beyond a doubt that there was several born every minute, not just one.

    21 0 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh come on

      Shame, I really wanted Vertu to work as it proved beyond a doubt that there was several born every minute, not just one.

      It wasn't just making costly phones by adding bling, they also partnered with service providers without bothering to research the consequences.

      3 0 Reply
  7. kain preacher

    I believe there was an app on android that did nothing but cost $1000. THe point was just to show off

    9 0 Reply
    1. Adam 1
      Reply Icon

      Wasn't android, but yes there was.

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Rich

      15 0 Reply
      1. kain preacher
        Reply Icon

        Thank you Adam as I could not remember if it was for the Android or IoS.

        3 0 Reply
  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yew Shure ?

    "Funnily enough, charging ££££s for trashy bling-phones wasn't a great idea"

    http://www.cnbc.com/2017/05/08/apple-market-capitalization-hits-800-billion.html

    19 1 Reply
  9. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Unhappy

    In hindsight plan failure is obvious.

    Blinged out Android --> perceived as cheap and common.

    Blinged out iThing --> perceived as exclusive X very expensive --> super duper exclusive --> desirable

    Hence very high "We wants if" factor.

    6 3 Reply
  10. gryff

    "wasn't a great idea?"

    Sooo.....this idea worked great from 1998 to pretty recently...and wasn't a good idea?

    Hmmm...or is this an example of people knowing nothing about the business they are in, screwing things up? For example, BHS ?

    2 0 Reply

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