Fake News
First, they set it in Florida; everybody + dog knows that place is batshit crazy.
Second, the name of one of the celebs is too much like the Vogon boss from "Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy". Julz vs Prostetnic Jeltz? Anyway, the followup story is going to say that Aliens have arrived to deliver eternal peace and prosperity. All we need do is enter the password into the machine within 48 hours. It's the password that YHWH gave us, wayback. Naturally, it's the strongest possible password. In the absence of a Peace and Prosperity password, the machine installs one of the other options. Please let it be Fake News.