Hey Reg
If you love Dev ops so much, why not marry it.. Gimmick!
There's just four weeks till we throw open the doors for Continuous Lifecycle London 2017, so if you want to enjoy three days of the best in DevOps, Containers, Agile, CD and more, act now. We've got a fantastic lineup of speakers and workshop leaders joining us at the Queen Elizabeth II Conference Centre from 17-19 May. …
The Perfect Hair
You'll learn the part, the slick-back and the mighty pompadour. Learn which products will give the best results.
The Winning Smile
The strengths and drawbacks of popular tooth-whitening technologies will be covered. We will also discuss proper smiling techniques that will help you seal the deal. Do you think that the sparkle that comes from light reflecting off perfect teeth is an accident? It is not, we will teach you how.
The Clothes Make The Success
How do you choose the best clothes? What situations call for casual, business casual or the full-on suit? When you dress for success expect the best.
Talk The Talk
How will your business-oriented enterprise success paradigm actualization be effected by forward-thinking, results-driven operative management methodologies? What is the modial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive diractance? Who cares!? Baffle and bedazzle those who sign the cheques. Learn quick soundbites that can be used to instantly shut down people who actually know what they are talking about. You don't have to walk the walk when you can talk the talk.
Proper Waste Disposal Technique
Sick of having to deal with long-time employees who actually care about the future of the business? We will teach you how to throw them under the bus in style. Learn how to create impossible tasks with which to make them look completely incompetent. Take credit for other people's work with confidence and pizzazz. Get people fired for no reason at all. Anything is possible when you learn to take ownership of your subordinates.
Upward Mobility Strategy
In this workshop we combine the lessons learned in earlier workshops to form strategies for moving onward and upward. Why get subordinates fired when you can get your boss fired and take the position in one master stroke? You will learn to use your charm, bullshit and your perfect teeth and hair to get real results. Do you dream of receiving a seven-figure bonus while laying off 70% of staff? Then this workshop is for you.