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BOAR-ZILLA stalks Fukushima's dead zone

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Spider pig. Spider pig...

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One pig = 8 rumps, sign me up

Next to come Centipede pig

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Which is essentially the same thing which happened to (not only) bavarian boars since chernobyl[1]. Since they prefer eat mushroom (which are more contaminated than other plants) the boars became inedible, were hunted less and are now more numerous than before 1986. Unfortunately, they don´t glow in the dark and are therefore still difficult to hunt, causing a lot of damage to the countryside.

[1] which is taken over by radioactive wolves - who still are regular size. It is a disappointment all around.

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Anonymous Coward

I'd eat one but which mouth do you put the apple in?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Well played

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Coat

Bohr-zilla?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Also well played

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Alert

"...picked up radiation doses that make them a very dangerous meal."

Where is Lewis Page to challenge this claim?!

(Yes I know he is not with The Reg anymore.)

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Re: "...picked up radiation doses that make them a very dangerous meal."

^this^

I highly doubt the amount of radiation actually picked up is all that dangerous, but Japan has some of the strictest allowable radiation limits in the world. Some of it is seriously ridiculous.

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Mushroom

Re: "...picked up radiation doses that make them a very dangerous meal."

It would probably do all the Japanese a favour if someone could persuade them that their scheming greenie poilticos were dangerously radioactive...

Tell them the proof is that they all glow black against a black background in pitch black darkness should do it ...

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Mushroom

Mutant daisies

Don't eat these!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/mutant-daisies-found-near-fukushima-nuclear-disaster-may-have-nothing-to-do-with-radiation-10411188.html

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Re: Mutant daisies

I guess you forgot the Joke Alert icon...

http://www.snopes.com/nuclear-mutant-daisies/

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Coat

I prefer dangerous seafood

Maybe some Fukushasumi....

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Re: I prefer dangerous seafood

You can pick that one from one well known Posh UK supermarket which continues to sell salmon caught downwind of Fukushima.

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Re: I prefer dangerous seafood

Downwind?

Flying fish?

[joke]

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LDS
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Alert

Do you become some kind of Superboar is one of them bites you??

And I wonder what could be the superpowers of a Superboar...

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Coat

Re: Do you become some kind of Superboar is one of them bites you??

"And I wonder what could be the superpowers of a Superboar..."

They can talk the hind legs off an Arcrurian Megadonkey. Oh Boar, you say...?

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Joke

Re: Do you become some kind of Superboar is one of them bites you??

"They can talk the hind legs off an Arcrurian1 Arcturan Megadonkey"

Yes, but could they persuade them to go for a walk afterwards?

1Sorry, couldn't help myself with the correction...

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Re: Do you become some kind of Superboar is one of them bites you??

No, you become a Super Bore and correct people in comment forums on the Internet.

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Happy

Re: Do you become some kind of Superboar is one of them bites you??

"No, you become a Super Bore and correct people in comment forums on the Internet."

Aww, Bob, it's just a bit of fun. Lighten up, it's Friday!

Wait, unless...that was a joke? I've got to admit, when I start telling my wife how my day went, she tends to develop a slightly glassy look in her eyes and they drift ever so slowly to the left...

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Anonymous Coward

They havnt reached the BOSS at level 10 yet

The one with all the special moves and atomic breath. These are just minions...

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A fairly boar-ing development. We demand 6 legged super-pigs the size of sky scrapers!

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and lasers!

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Thumb Up

"and lasers!"

Shooting out of their eyes!

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And dropping napalm from their arses!

THIS MUST BE DELIVERED!

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All four of them!

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They have them in Texas: https://www.outdoorhub.com/news/2017/03/08/bizarre-video-hunters-discover-spider-pig-8-legs/

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All the mutants are in the pacific with a 1000 gallons of radioactive cooling water being put in everyday and will take another 40 years to fix, because they are to lames to make a heatsink reseviour and use chemicals instead

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Terminator

I, for one, welcome our new swine overlords

Can't believe I got in first. You lot are all for the (pork) chop when the boars take over.

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Boar

Tangentially, I happened to encounter the wild boar someone released in the Forest of Dean back in 2004 very soon after they'd first been spotted, over a decade ago: a sow with 8 or 10 piglets. I watched them very carefully and cautiously as they foraged about in Forestry Commission land. They were drifting down a fairly steep wooded slope, and I was cautiously and quietly (I thought) following perhaps 10 yards downwind, enjoying a delusional sense that I was the new David Attenborough. They passed behind a tangle of undergrowth, piglets first, then the sow. When the sow emerged she stopped, turned, started me straight in the eyes and... well, you know that Dr Doolittle song about talking to the animals? This creature didn't know English but it communicated "if you don't push off, I'm gonna gut you like a fish with my tusks" pretty unmistakably. I took the hint and retreated!

Really cool to see them in the wild, though, and in some places they're semi-habituated to humans (the Forest isn't all that unpopulated) so you can safely watch them from a distance as long as you don't startle them. (Keep dogs on a lead or, preferably, away from the woods altogether.) A charging boar is extremely dangerous and quite capable of killing a small dog and fucking up humans good and proper if you got a big one on a bad day.

(In summary, visit the lovely Forest of Dean, we need to tourist money!)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-38755729

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But...

do Fukushima Boar cutlets come ready cooked like Chicken Kiev did

Yeah, OK...that really was stretching too far but both the good jokes had been used.

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Coat

Re: But...

Chernobyl Chickens have mutated and now have four legs.

How do they taste?

Dunno, no ones ever caught one.

I Fangyou, I'll be here all week.

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Small-caliber rifle? For wild boar?

I use 12 gauge slugs, and even then it sometimes takes more than a single shot ... Boars are physically difficult to kill. Small-caliber rounds just irritate the snot out of them.

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Re: Small-caliber rifle? For wild boar?

Okay, you have successfully proved your manhood.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Small-caliber rifle? For wild boar?

Some guys (mad, weightlifter types) in Melbourne, Australia go boar hunting with a single knife (each).

One guy in particular I can think of. Does it fairly often, for the challenge. Hasn't gone badly for him yet, after a few years.

Definitely not my kind of thing though.

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Re: Small-caliber rifle? For wild boar?

not man enough to use a knife like in the predator movie

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Re: Small-caliber rifle? For wild boar?

It's hard to say from the Reuters video what the caliber is but I will say it looks like a precharged pneumatic air rifle to me. Given the range and the fact that they are caged they could get by with as little as a .25 caliber with a neck shot. If I had to pick based on what little shows in the video I'd guess they're using an Evanix or Hatsan.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Small-caliber rifle? For wild boar?

They can absorb a 12ga slug? Jebus, the non-mutated boar is freaky enough. That's a massive amount of stopping power. I wouldn't be too excited to get within shotgun range of one of those.

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Re: Small-caliber rifle? For wild boar?

With you on that, Breneke by preference.

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Re: Small-caliber rifle? For wild boar?

Anything armor-piercing will work especially if you go for the headshot or one coming at you. Found that out hunting for them in flood plains of Memphis years ago.

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Windows

Re: Small-caliber rifle? For wild boar?

Okay, you have successfully lost your manhood.

There - fify.

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Re: Small-caliber rifle? For wild boar?

Better pictures here. Definitely using air rifles and the one in the second pic is almost certainly a Daystate.

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Pint

Self-cooking Bacon

Yum! Need I say more?

Dave

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Bebop. http://turtlepedia.wikia.com/wiki/Bebop_(1987_TV_series)

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Surely Hog-zilla would have been a better moniker?

Or better still; Ham-era

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Surely Hog-zilla would have been a better moniker?

Well played. Why didn't I think of that? Don't tell the boss: I have a punning KPI and I don't think I'm going to hit it.

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Headmaster

Re: Surely Hog-zilla would have been a better moniker?

You can use your moderator powers to delete my first post and name the hogs something that you yourself suddenly thought up.

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