A non-Standards Soviet approved measure of weight? Sod off, BBC!

What rot

Everyone knows you can only weigh Kelpies in ChildSols - a factor of the number of children it has caught, and how naughty they were in life.

Steven R

PS: Having been born and raised up in the Highlands (no really, look for Thrumster on Google Maps) I was told that kelpie stories (among others) were sometime used by people who were caught, er, bothering farm animals - they're shapeshifters don't you know, that pony was a beautiful woman last night! - back before the renaissance hit the far north and science and skepticism overtook religious dogma and folklore for explaining things.

You know, around twenty years ago....

Pubes

That's not heavy. It's only 31,818,181,818,181.81818181818181..... pubes, or nearly 32 TeraPubes.

Outrageous

I hope someone comes down on them like 238.0952 Jubs of bricks

Well, my car gets 40 rods to the hogshead and thats the way I like it!

Well, cease and desist order to the Beeb, ASAP.

(Alternatively, deploy the helicopters.)

LOL you guys/gals

Watching the footage of Doris Johnson MP this morning getting hit in the face with a mic, I wonder what the measurement/unit of force was involved, can you quantify? A salamander slap or two maybe or a whack from a cat's tail?

Can't of been much of a force by his lack of reaction or is accustomed to big brightly coloured things regularly shoved in his face, don't really want to know BTW, just in case someone replies, please, please don't.

Local measurements?

I think that although the El Reg standards should be enforced worldwide, there is still a place in the world for local units, and the Kelpie should be allowed for use within, say, 10 leagues of the bridge.

That's a selkie

Given that you were connected to the internet to be able to make the post, why not just google it yourself? :)

"Given that you were connected to the internet to be able to make the post, why not just google it yourself? :)" --- Rich_Herds_Cats

Can we coin a single word that means the above? I'd use it a lot!

I am still quite fond of a "snailpace"

being a furlong per fortnight, for measuring slow progress.

Not an El Reg unit, but certainly in the same spirit

So how far is that in Smoots?

furlongs per fortnight

it was mentioned in one of Murphy's Laws.

Er ...

Isaac Asimov proposed the "Helen" as a measure of beauty.

One millihelen being sufficient beauty to launch a single ship.

First offence.

I do believe that a Wegtuwian thwowing them to the gwound, woughly, would suffice as a fiwst wawning

That's not a kelpie

This is a kelpie.

http://justusdogs.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Australian-Kelpie.jpg

unit of slowness

I have a friend who is renowned for his slow but steady pace of ascent when hill walking. His surname has become the standard unit of slowness among his circle of friends (but with the first letter in lower case, of course).