back to article Mars isn't the garbage wasteworld you think it is: Swirling polar ice cap photographed

Mars is not quite the featureless red wasteland scientists once thought it was. New images from the European Space Agency’s Mars Express probe orbiting the Red Planet have revealed delicate swirls of ice at the alien world's north pole. The idea that Mars may be capable of harboring life has fueled the space industry’s …

  1. handleoclast
    Pint

    What colour is Uranus?

    The same colour as Mars.

    I have no idea what made me think of that. Apart from the fact that those pics remind me of the appearance of the toilet the morning after a vindaloo when I do a really runny shit.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What colour is Uranus?

      Actually - those pictures made me think of some delicious chocolate ice cream thing with some fresh cream on top. Maybe a Mars Ice Swirl?

      yummy.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What colour is Uranus?

        The choice is yours, commentards:

        A Mars Ice Swirl, or a Handleoclast Shite Swirl.

        1. TitterYeNot

          Re: What colour is Uranus?

          "A Mars Ice Swirl, or a Handleoclast Shite Swirl."

          How about we compromise and call it a Chocolate Kulfi?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What colour is Uranus?

      Never mind that - how come we are only just finding out that Mars is octagonal!!!

    3. Chemical Bob
      FAIL

      Re: What colour is Uranus?

      " I do a really runny shit."

      If you wouldn't say anything, no one would know...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Deteriorating cognitive function?

    That's a worry. I suggest the initial space explorers are politicians. Being universally dim they've got less far to fall. And being universally narcissistic they'll do anything to get their faces in front of a TV camera. Computers can do all the difficult stuff, so it won't matter that we're sending people not clever enough to complete an expenses form honestly, and who believe that smart meters, Hinkley Point C, or HS2 are all good investments.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Deteriorating cognitive function?

      > "Being universally dim they've got less far to fall."

      Ahh, but you misunderstand the physical effects. Those cosmic rays don't stop doing damage when you reach the 'impaired' stage (typical glad-hander). So your idea would only hasten the day when our big interplanetary mission ends up being crewed by troglodytes (out of the loop).

    2. Cheshire Cat

      Re: Deteriorating cognitive function?

      Re: Send the politicians

      And, as a bonus, we don't need to bother about bringing them back.

      And the spaceship can be named the "B Ark".

  3. MajorTom

    KSP Reference - of course

    I've explored some far-out and dangerous places in the Kerbal Space Program planets.

    But this Chasma Borealis puts them to shame. Imagine slipping down a mile-long ice slide into a deep chasm...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: KSP Reference - of course

      Right? I expect to see that location pop up in the next mars-based movie too. It's just too good looking, and that name "Chasma Boreale" is title material.

      1. Spudley

        Re: KSP Reference - of course

        Right? I expect to see that location pop up in the next mars-based movie too. It's just too good looking, and that name "Chasma Boreale" is title material.

        Yep, it has real Chasrisma, doesn't it?

    2. P. Lee
      Linux

      Re: KSP Reference - of course

      >But this Chasma Borealis puts them to shame. Imagine slipping down a mile-long ice slide into a deep chasm...

      Meh, Extreme Tux Racer

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: KSP Reference - of course

      "Imagine slipping down a mile-long ice slide into a deep chasm..."

      You're not married, or you'd know,

  4. Simon Harris

    Coriolis effect

    The mental replaying of the Blue Danube as if docking in Elite.

  5. Martin
    Happy

    So Elton John was right !

    Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids

    In fact it's cold as hell...

  6. Yesnomaybe

    To me...

    ...It looks like they have found the arse-end of Mars..

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: To me...

      looks like they have found the arse-end of Mars

      Hmm. Methinks maybe you've been watching too much grumble if your first thought is "look at the cigar-cutter on that!"

      1. Yesnomaybe

        Re: To me...

        Hahahahaha! Very good. That made me snigger on an otherwise bleak Monday morning.

  7. YeahRight

    Looks delicious!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Its just a pity they didn't find a flake sticking out to give the full 99 effect!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Angel

      You nailed it. I looked again at the first image. A world-smothering, frost gilded scoop of virginal chocolate ice cream, turning towards the sun.

      Now I have to go to the shopping place...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This is not news.

    The story as presented is not news - we've known what Mar's polar regions look like for many years, the stepped terrain, the swirling, the big chasma, etc. (indeed it;s so well known that Kim Stanley Robinson mentioned all of those things and wrote about them very convincingly in his Mars trilogy). Even NASA having stiched that pic together isn't terribly interesting, unless in the process of so doing they noticed features previously overlooked.

    What was the point of this article, again?

    1. MajorTom

      Re: This is not news.

      So that those of us that missed it can be informed? So much science news isn't really "new" but I'm grateful that it's being constantly put in front of us.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: This is not news.

        @Major Tom - hey, I don't mind things like this being in the limelight again, but it was the polar features of Mars being reported as if we'd only just found out about them that I was contesting. I mean, presumably there must have been SOMEthing new from NASA in order for the article to get written - if so, then what the heck was it? I can't imagine the writer simply thought 'hey ho, what can I write about today? I know, Mars has a big swirly thing at the pole that we found out about years ago, that'll do....'. It'd be about on a par with putting up an article reporting that Venus isn't a hot swamp as was once thought. I mean, sure, true insofar as it goes, but we've known that for a very long time.

  9. YARR
    Joke

    Mars...

    ... the planet or the chocolate? I wasn't sure from the picture.

  10. mix

    The Grand Tour

    Looking forward to Clarkson et al setting up their tent on Mars and challenging themselves to drive to the Mars Pole, Clarkson and May sat on a rover and Hamster on a sled pulled by martian microbes.

  11. Alistair
    Coat

    martian

    Red Velvet cake. With delicious white frosting.

    Mmmmmmmmmmm.

    I'll have to hide this from SWMBO.

  12. Gobhicks

    Mars, ladies and gentlemen...

    ... just one vast dessert

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