nav search
Data Center Software Security Transformation DevOps Business Personal Tech Science Emergent Tech Bootnotes BOFH

back to article
UK's lords want more details on adult website check plans

Silver badge
Gimp

Are you 18

Yes / No

sorted

19
0
Silver badge

Re: Are you 18

The character 'Al Murry - Pub Landlord' had similar thoughts upon asking a youthful-looking prospective customer his date of birth... "No! The entire foundation of the British licesnsed trade rocked to its core!" ( I paraphrase cos it's been a long time since i've watched it. Still, his manifesto in the last general election, running against Farage, was glorious.)

3
2
Silver badge

Re: Are you 18

Yes / No

sorted

Unfortunately the government of the United Kingdom has about as much trust in it's citizens as teh Peoples Republic of China (and getting on North Korea).

If 'yes' and you wish to view ponography, you are probably an anti-social radical (and unmutual) and requires watching, hence the data retention.

"this is photography, hard photography" Alexi Sayle - Comic Strip Presents Dirty Movie.

8
0
Bronze badge

Re: Are you 18

Or maybe entering your date of birth like sites that promote booze do, you know, 'cos people under 18 can't think of a date before they were born so it traps them every time.

It's almost hilarious how poorly MPs understand technology and the Internet. Until they start making laws.

13
0
Big Brother

Re: Are you 18

+1 for "unmutual"

I am not a number, I am a free man!

@TheReg - what about a Prisoner icon? A nice Penny Farthing or something?

2
0

Re: Are you 18

"Unfortunately the government of the United Kingdom has about as much trust in it's citizens as teh Peoples Republic of China (and getting on North Korea)".

Also,fortunately, the citizens of the 'United' Kingdom have about as much trust in their government as the Peoples Republic of China (and getting on North Korea) citizens do in their governments..

1
0
Silver badge

....risks breaking international human rights law

that's why Chairman May is getting rid of such pesky things.

I hate her more each day....and my VPN gets used more each day.

21
4
Anonymous Coward

Re: ....risks breaking international human rights law

"the guidance and guidelines will come into effect without any parliamentary scrutiny at all"

Seems to be the way we're headed.

15
0

Re: ....risks breaking international human rights law

"and my VPN gets used more each day."

I'm curious about all these people using VPNs. Do you rent space in a data centre and terminate your own VPN and manage it's route out to the Interent through a connection you pay for? Or do you pay Johnny Foreigner to deal with all of that and just trust that they aren't going to do anything devious with your data after it pops out the other end of the VPN tunnel?

6
0
Silver badge

Re: ....risks breaking international human rights law

Or do you pay Johnny Foreigner to deal with all of that and just trust that they aren't going to do anything devious with your data after it pops out the other end of the VPN tunnel?

I expect most techies would know better than to use a free or cheap, unconfirmed service for anything but casual government-unapproved surfing, in places where you would never ever consider handing over your credit card details or using anything other than a throwaway account. Whether that holds for the non-technical or for teenagers who think they're technical is another matter.

0
0
Silver badge

Re: ....risks breaking international human rights law

Or do you pay Johnny Foreigner to deal with all of that and just trust that they aren't going to do anything devious with your data after it pops out the other end of the VPN tunnel?

I trust Johnny Foreigner more than my own MPs these days, which is a very sad state of affairs. But looking at their own corruption, attempts to impose moral censorship, and the clustefuck of Brexit, its hard not to.

You can of course look to reviews of such VPN providers as well, before deciding, and review payment options, etc:. For example:

https://www.bestvpn.com/

https://vpn-services.bestreviews.net/

Etc, though they are a bit advertisement-like in some case.

8
1
Silver badge

Re: ....risks breaking international human rights law

I trust Johnny Foreigner just because he has so much less to gain. What use is anything I put down the VPN to him? Anything useable in distance crime will be HTTPS. My government can use "communication records" to blackmail me, Johnny Foreigner is unlikely to have a motive to do that. Worst case is that he gives it back to the UK and I'm still better off than I would otherwise have been because the evidence is tainted.

10
0
Silver badge

Re: ....risks breaking international human rights law

There are plenty of inexpensive but good VPN options available, a few of them even accept payment via Btc so your use is even less obvious. I maintain one via my WiFi router so all connections terminate "elsewhere" without any trace on VPN usage on my phone.

0
0
Silver badge

Re: ....risks breaking international human rights law

As Adam 52 said. In fact, the 3 guide lines for choosing a VPN are:

1) Always go for another country. It forces your own country's petty bureaucrats to get a proper court order in another land - raising the bad against fishing for things on you.

2) Do your homework, read reviews and comments but remember one pissed off customer may not be representative.

3) If possible use the OpenVPN protocol, but if not at least avoid PPTP as its security is crap.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

To repeat a comment..

This can properly be labelled as planned adolescence.

:)

2
0
Silver badge

Those damn pesky Lords, up to no good as usual... Is what I would be saying if I was a supporter of the Tory party and/or Frau May.

No, good on the Lords. Doing their job like the idiots below them should have done.

22
0
Paris Hilton

Monkeys un-spanked? (yeah right).

Another newspaper-led "won't someone think of the children" moment that won't change a thing.

When I was merely a teenager, we all shared VHS copies of the most staggeringly awful "jazz flicks".

Duplicating a VHS was much more costly and time consuming than sharing a thumb drive.

*Paris because she's weakened when content of her in the nude isn't shared online.

Can we have a face-palm icon please?

2
0
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Monkeys un-spanked? (yeah right).

"Can we have a face-palm icon please?"

Here you are.

7
0

Re: Monkeys un-spanked? (yeah right).

*Face-palm*

7
0
Silver badge

Re: Monkeys un-spanked? (yeah right).

"Another newspaper-led "won't someone think of the children" moment that won't change a thing."

These days it's rather easier to defuse that kind of claim by mentioning a certain childrens' TV personality who always thought of the children.

0
0
Bronze badge
FAIL

This law is Daily Mail politics and hopefully the madness will be stopped. That or it's a good time to apply for a job at the BBFC who will be making decisions on content. The job application will include

To apply for the position you will be required to submit a 1500-word essay on ‘What are the challenges involved in regulating online pornography?’.

http://www.bbfc.co.uk/compliance-officer-vacancy

And they haven't even passed the law yet.

2
0
Silver badge
Gimp

‘What are the challenges involved in regulating online pornography?’

Friction burns?

3
0
Silver badge

Watching porn all day to see if it's acceptable or not.

It's a hard job, but someone has to do it.

0
0

Not sure whether May's stupid or just wants to ban online pornography in the UK.

Or, perhaps, she's been promised a few quid by those in charge of UK-based pay-for porn sites? Since virtually nobody* is going to pay for pornography then I can only suspect that Ms May is either a moron or wants to try to ban free pornography.

While I'm not as against the "dirty old man register" one must sign up to in order not to have innocuous sites blocked by association at least that is vaguely possible. Though, again, one has to wonder whether the banning of such harmless content such as face-sitting is an attempt to block all non-UK produced porn.

So, there we have it, the only possible explanation, unless Ms May is a pathetic, moronic, puritan fascist pig, is that she's in the pay of the UK porn industry.

9
0
Silver badge

Re: Not sure whether May's stupid or just wants to ban online pornography in the UK.

"So, there we have it, the only possible explanation, unless Ms May is a pathetic, moronic, puritan fascist pig, is that she's in the pay of the UK porn industry."

I would disagree. She is, after all, the daughter of a vicar. Goes to church all the time, religion is important to her etc.

But, then again, she's cutting funding to the NHS, to schools, to the poorest of the country. She's making a lot of families suffer for no reason other than for a few quid. Shuts down Boris Johnson over his comments regarding Saudi Arabia in Yemen.

So it's hard to know how much of her faith she gives a damn about if she's doing all of that. She ain't no Christian bruv.

11
1
Anonymous Coward

Re: Not sure whether May's stupid or just wants to ban online pornography in the UK.

Follow the money esp. when a pro-business party is in power. Somebody is going to make money from the ban.

4
0
Silver badge

Re: Not sure whether May's stupid or just wants to ban online pornography in the UK.

"unless Ms May is a pathetic, moronic, puritan fascist pig, is that she's in the pay of the UK porn industry"

She won't be in the pay of the porn industry. Few politicians would risk that and anyway the UK porn industry doesn't have any money. Your first option must be true.

For more evidence look at her voting record, she is consistently moralistic, anti-freedom and anti-women.

2
0
Silver badge

Re: Not sure whether May's stupid or just wants to ban online pornography in the UK.

ANY politician who bases, or tries to push any act / law / etc on any kind of personal religious belief is not fit to govern.

Belief in sky faries has NO part in a modern political establishment.

We have proven gravity, we have proven evolution, we have not and never will prove god.

5
1
Silver badge

Re: Not sure whether May's stupid or just wants to ban online pornography in the UK.

"Belief in sky faries has NO part in a modern political establishment.

We have proven gravity, we have proven evolution, we have not and never will prove god."

They said the same about the Higgs Boson. They said the same thing about putting man on the moon. Just because you can't prove it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, because you haven't proven it doesn't exist.

But as I said, Frau May does enough in her work life that goes against the beliefs of her religion. So don't worry, everything she's doing isn't based on any religious belief.

0
1

Dear Lords,

here's how it's going to work:

It won't

Yours sincerely,

Captain Obvious

19
0
Anonymous Coward

So that's Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Youtube, Photosharing sites, Bing*, Google* etc. we're banning without age verification.

*These can and do have the adult filter set and locked by geolocation as I discovered from talking to a client who was from the Middle East.

1
1
Bronze badge
Trollface

What can of worms this subject is.

So suppose someone passes the age verification process to watch some porn online, some websites have extreme content.

Secondly as pointed out by someone above, most teenagers will always get access to porn, in my day it was nicking porn magazines that sold in the school playground but these were always your newsagent soft porn content and now a days any kid staying up late to watch Channel 4 can see similar using the online players on their smart phone or watching it on their tv in their bedroom. The tech savvy will also be using VPN's to bypass any censorship, and could fuel a rise in hacking in order to view said explicit material.

So would it be more sensible to have perhaps a two tier approach to porn, like soft porn that's in line with the age of consent, and then the more extreme porn accessible from a later age, like maybe 21 or 25? The softporn aspect could be a way to educate kids better on whats acceptable sexual activity.

Currently the age of consent does seem somewhat hypocritical considering sexting teens in a "loving" relationship can end up on the sex offenders register as well. Loving is quoted merely because some adults typically parents will denigrate a teenagers claim to being "in love"

If the Cannabis medical data is correct, the human brain doesn't stop developing until around the age of 25, so perhaps it would make sense to have extreme/hard core porn banned until this age, so that its not burnt into the retina and brain cells of future sexual deviants?

Of course, another point to this whole debate about viewing pixels depicting sexual activity is that, does having access to fapping material make someone less likely to commit a sex crime by not being so sexually frustrated? And considering the parental controls already provided by ISP's, anyone can go on Reddit.com, search for NSFW, and then end up on gyfcat.com and imgur.com for porn ranging from soft to hardcore verging on extreme. There's no age check for gyfcat.com or imgur.com, less than 10 seconds to gain access to this sort of material.

Do you think kids wont tell each other how to access these sites bypassing the current ISP parental controls in place?

On the main page of imgur.com a bestiality image involving the British constabulary, I couldn't make this up if I tried.

Warning NSFW, but you could test your companies censorship systems out and report your findings to the IT dept and your line manager if you so wanted.

http://imgur.com/t/nsfw/ON8sa2U

Besides the BBC do often provide their own primetime documentaries depicting animals having sex as well.

I dont think blanket bans are a good approach especially considering the oversight GCHQ have on the computer networks, and in your home accessing your motion detector for your games consoles, your smart phone camera's & mic's and any cctv/webcams you might have on your computer or laptop.

In a way its no different to kids drinking alcohol under age they will always do this if they really want to, whilst ignoring the fact that peer pressure can also exploit the naïve kids into actions they don't want to do, just like taking drugs.

In another way, I suppose it boils down to viewing your kids as personal possessions until you disregard them because some mythical age limit has been reached even though intelligence is more than just IQ results measuring spatial intelligence when considering emotional intelligence as well.

Besides, if the viewing of sex is so bad by virtue of these mandatory control mechanisms, should kids be making decisions of what sex they want to transgender into whilst still at primary school, or does having a GP & others involved in this decision making suddenly make it all right?

A highly emotive can a worms this topic be!

7
0

I fear that is more than NSFW.

It's NSFUK -- I fear that is genuinely illegal in the UK and may get anyone clicking on it (as I have just done) into trouble. I may be wrong, and I hope so, but after the "tiger video" debacle a few years ago I really worry.

So, don't make the mistake I did and go to the image tr1ck5t3r posted from a country like the UK or US.

1
0
Silver badge

Re: I fear that is more than NSFW.

Nahh, there's no penetration.

That's just a picture of a randy horse. Nothing illegal there.

0
0
Silver badge
Coat

Based on the species of the active participant, isn't it humaniality?

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: I fear that is more than NSFW.

That's just a picture of a randy horse. Nothing illegal there.

I was expecting it to be porcine in nature.

Oh. Hang on a minute.

0
0
Silver badge
WTF?

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye

A House that's been covering up the sexual abuse of children within its walls for decades now decides that it is incumbent upon them to stop children watching adults have sex?

5
1

King Cnut

At least King Cnut knew he couldn't hold back the inevitable tide. This bunch of cnuts don't have a clue.

2
0
Silver badge

Re: King Cnut

"At least King Cnut knew he couldn't hold back the inevitable tide."

Curiously, King Cnut also knew that he couldn't hold back the tide. He tried to do so as a demonstration that, before God(s), even King had limits to their power. Shame that May isn't as wise.

1
0

Some might buy a dedicated server for 4.99 euros/month in, oh, France or someplace and set up their own, unadvertised openVPN.

Until now that was never considered a naughty thing to do. But suddenly we're all terrorists, or even worse - nonpayers of something.

1
0

What is this fixing?

Ignoring the fact (initially) that this is something that we all know won't actually stop anyone that really wants to watch 'stuff'.

All this time an effort to (try and) implement age verification for porn sites in some way yet to be defined.

So what current problem is this actually fixing? i.e. why is this even being discussed?

Is this just another generic "Think of the children!" bandwagon that a few politicians have jumped on?

Business case: If effort out-ways benefits, then don't do it. Especially when the 'benefits' seem to be perceived, rather than actual benefits!

3
0
Slx
Silver badge

I'm sure it'll simply be a subcutaneous NFC chip implanted by your local vet.

Once that's there you register on the national database perv-register.gov.uk, install the special snoopware to give full access to your pic or mobile and voila! You will get access to images approved by the Home Office.

1
0
Anonymous Coward

Convenient excuse

The online porn industry probably couldn't give a damn whether UK citizens verify their age or not, and they're very unlikely to set up separate mechanisms to cater for the UK market only. So most of the websites will carry on as usual, and ISP blocking will have to be widespread and all-encompassing in order to enforce this legislation.

It's a very Tory way of going about things - get the private sector to do all the state's dirty business, with the consumer picking up the tab for all the additional equipment and labour through increasing subscription costs. It also allows the UK Government to deny the existence of a "great firewall of Britain", as it's distributed across all the different ISPs and not under their direct control. At least China was up front about it when they created theirs.

"Think of the children" - bollocks to that, think of the false positives!

11
0
Silver badge

'something the "Russian or Chinese governments" would impose.'

or those of North Carolina and North Dakota.

0
0
Paris Hilton

The Donald and his videos

Is there a Donald Trump angle to this story? Will I have to verify my age sanity to watch his Russian (fake news) videos?

Paris Hilton icon because there is no Trump icon. Anyone got any suggestions for a Trump icon? I think its likely to get some heavy usage.

1
0

Re: Trump icon

any of these but with whiter teeth

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=annoying+orange&t=lm&iax=1&ia=images

1
0
Silver badge

Any Ideas?

I'm a technophile, an electronic engineer specializing in comms and IT, an early adopter of the Internet. I know what is out there, well perhaps I don't know the really uncharted frontier of the unacceptable, illegal and obscene. I am fortunate that my children got through puberty and into adulthood before the time of 24 hour access where everyone has one, two or three Internet devices. There was one computer in the house and it was in a public area.

Now I have grandchildren. Shortly the eldest will be wanting a mobile phone or pad. Forget net neutrality, 5G, fiber to the premises etc, the one thing I want is some way to ensure that they are protected from even the nearer edges of the Internet. Not only pornography but also, topically, false news. Some of this will be done with education by parents and schools. However when on their own, under the blankets in their room, they may see and hear things that are not good for them.

Something must be done! Sadly all my training and experience makes me doubt that there is a solution that is more than just window dressing.

Has anyone a solution?

0
0
Silver badge

Re: Any Ideas?

I have one.

What we need is a group of people, we can put in charge, who due to their lack of intelligence cannot hold a single thought for a second. They can periodically come together to discuss whatever insane ideas crawl across the salt pans of their minds. Endlessly accusing each other of being a fool never coming to a census. In that way these moronic ideas can never be implemented.

Sad isn't it

Democracy, great in theory, a fucking disaster in practice.

3
0
Silver badge

Education

Teach them how to fact-check, and above all that anyone can put amything on the Internet - it doesn't matter whether it is real or true.

Teach them that porn is entertainment. It's not real, any more than action movies.

Sex or not sex are both normal. Liking porn is fine, as finding it boring and pointless. Same with action movies or romantic comedies.

Then they will be orders of magnitude better prepared for the real world than any politician you may find in Westminster.

8
0
Silver badge

Re: Any Ideas?

They might read books, too.

Burn all the books, to be sure they're safe from that.

1
0

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

The Register - Independent news and views for the tech community. Part of Situation Publishing