back to article Now that's a Blue Screen of Death: Windows 10 told me to jump off a cliff

By now, Windows 10 users have grown accustomed to the photos and inspirational quotes from Microsoft adorning their lock screens. Usually, they are just pleasant landscape or architecture pics, with a randomly selected line or two of text to accompany them. Other times, however, they can be a bit unnerving. For Reg reader …

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  1. Hans 1
    WTF?

    Forgot your meds this morning ?

    I think you have to be extremely deranged to see a subliminal suicide message in the picture+text.

    Check my handle, YES, I am the MHP, (Microsoft Most Hated Professional) and even I think this is taking it too far.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      I bet you're a blast at parties.

    2. Olius

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      Have you seen Groundhog Day?

      1. Martin Summers Silver badge

        Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

        "Have you seen Groundhog Day?"

        Have you seen Groundhog Day?

    3. Dr. Mouse

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      "I think you have to be extremely deranged to see a subliminal suicide message in the picture+text."

      To not see it, you must;

      a) lack a sense of humour, and

      b) have never been on the dark side of depression.

      1. Hans 1

        Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

        >To not see it, you must;

        >a) lack a sense of humour, and

        >b) have never been on the dark side of depression.

        I have been through depression, yes, THROUGH DEPRESSION, and I am proud of having gone through just that, it gives me a sense pride, a force, I will never ever let myself go there again ... it cost me a marriage, wife at the time told me "I cannot help you, you need to help yourself!" ... needless to say she did not last long, I ditched her as soon as I had started recovering! In hindsight, SHE was the cause of my depression ... never felt better since I dumped her ;-)

        Now, something that is very easy to say, yet, so full of wisdom: "If you are desperate enough to commit the irreparable then it can only get better!"

        You cannot blame an image, a song (Judas Priest) or whatever ... that is just brain-dead.

    4. hplasm
      Meh

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      Who are you and what have MS done with Hans1?

    5. FuzzyWuzzys
      Facepalm

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      While I can see the humour, yes it's an amusing combo, the fact that MS take this seriously says there's a lot of very easily influenced people out there and explains why the "Lads from Lagos" can still make a killing from the mugs that are out there.

      To me the combination in the image was very inspirational, it tells me that life is hard and a tough struggle but the first step on that road through life's troubles is going to make all the difference. If anyone picked up suicide from this combo of image and text I strongly suggest you seek immediate psychiatric help!

      1. Olius

        Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

        That may be true, Fuzzy, but personally my first step would be in a direction away from the cliff edge, as that step is indeed a "doozy".

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Forgot your meds this morning ?

      I have almost exactly that view/image on my Linux Desktop (OK, I admit it's the cliffs on Orkney), but I've never once associated it with jumping off a cliff. Funny That.

      Must be a Windows thing.

    7. Crazy Operations Guy

      "I think you have to be extremely deranged"

      No, you just have to have read the news lately.

      Seeing what is happening around the world within the halls of power kind of make me want to throw myself off a cliff, although that wouldn't be such a bad cliff to do it.

  2. phy445

    Pedantic geography point

    The Cliffs of Moher are somewhat to the south of Galway Bay making the leap even bigger than implied by the story.

    1. Pedigree-Pete
      Thumb Up

      Re: Pedantic geography point

      Good point phy445. A quick Google map search suggests they are some way from Galway Bay, even the south side. Pedants UNITE! PP

  3. macjules
    Coat

    Sat Nagivation ...

    Must be a new feature to Windows Maps .. "You have reached your dest..."

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: Sat Nagivation ...

      To be fair to Microsoft, Apple maps would have put you in the middle of Dublin.

      1. Kiwi
        Trollface

        Re: Sat Nagivation ...

        To be fair to Microsoft, Apple maps would have put you in the middle of Dublin.

        That may be true.. But on MS maps the cliffs aren't there, they didn't even exist the last time it was updated!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sat Nagivation ...

      Where do you want to go todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "You have reached your dest..."

      "...iny" ?

      1. Andrew Moore

        Re: "You have reached your dest..."

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTcBWo4Aj0g

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Coat

        Re: "You have reached your dest..."

        "..iny" or ".ini"?

        OK, I know, coat & exit

  4. jake Silver badge

    180 degrees for me ...

    ... just turn around & walk away from Redmond's constant churn (not unlike the waves at the bottom of that cliff). It's the only sane thing to do.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: 180 degrees for me ...

      Maybe that is the subliminal suggestion in the picture. Sure, first step is a doozy. Just make it in the right direction.

    2. Patrician
      Facepalm

      Re: 180 degrees for me ...

      ... just turn around & walk away from Redmond's constant churn (not unlike the waves at the bottom of that cliff). It's the only sane thing to do.

      YAY! I never expected a pro-Linux post to appear, really I never did!!

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: 180 degrees for me ...

        Who mentioned Linux? Seriously, I'm just anti-Redmond (and Cupertino, London, etc, for the same exact reasons).

  5. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Joke

    Maybe the tablet, sorry, "surface" was feeling depressed

    what with the pain in all the diodes down its left side.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Maybe the tablet, sorry, "surface" was feeling depressed

      There is a long standing suspicion that Sirius Cybernetics corporation has a branch in Redmond WA.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Maybe the tablet, sorry, "surface" was feeling depressed

        You mean the Surfaces is called Marvin?

        1. Bob Wheeler

          Re: Maybe the tablet, sorry, "surface" was feeling depressed

          @LDS

          That's not what I call my Surface.....

        2. bombastic bob Silver badge
          Devil

          Re: Maybe the tablet, sorry, "surface" was feeling depressed

          "You mean the Surfaces is called Marvin?"

          That explains the DE-motivational message

          42

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cant say I've ever noticed any of these motivational blah blahs on ms wallpaper.

    Then again Ive not looked at it. On the rare occasions i wanted wallpaper I found my own.

    Who has wallpaper? were not 10 year olds! it was a novelty in win 95, but it soon wears off.

    You never see it if your doing any work , and it means u cant see your icons.

    The only wallpaper Ive seen recently is some kind of sandy rock desert wind carving. or is it a beach , dunno seems to be default win 10 behaviour for the pre logon screen . could be a screen saver

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Wow the happy party people are in force today.

      Maybe all the Windows 10 data harvesting was worth it. The bot learned how to be a sexist and racist bigot and the wallpaper know what a bunch of miserable buggers are out there.

      1. Robin

        Maybe all the Windows 10 data harvesting was worth it. The bot learned how to be a sexist and racist bigot and the wallpaper know what a bunch of miserable buggers are out there.

        I heard that once it had read all of the forums it killed its own process.

      2. Triggerfish

        Wow the happy party people are in force today.

        I know right I woke up this morning with the thought it was Friday, some people must be working this wekend. :D

    2. Olius

      Me, I have wallpaper, and I'm a LONG way from 10.

      Most of it is courtesy of Digital Blasphemy. But I wouldn't go googling for his work if I were you - you wouldn't want to end up acting like a 10 year old, would you ;-)

    3. Zippy's Sausage Factory
      Windows

      Bring back River Sumida, that's what I say...

    4. phuzz Silver badge

      For some reason on the lock screen where these little messages appear, I get a black background. Once I press a key and get the login screen, I then see the pretty background, but no messages.

      I have to say, some of the pictures they've used have been very nice.

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Trollface

        "I have to say, some of the pictures they've used have been very nice."

        I'd prefer porn. Or anime screenshots with moe girls in it [just to tweek the moralists]. But last I checked you couldn't assign your own graphics [or get rid of the damn ads]

        1. James O'Shea

          "But last I checked you couldn't assign your own graphics"

          You didn't look very hard. There are multiple methods for changing that pic. See, just for example, http://www.howtogeek.com/223875/how-to-change-the-login-screen-background-on-windows-10/ or http://www.addictivetips.com/windows-tips/change-the-login-screen-background-in-windows-10/

          Personally, I made the change by hand, no problems noted. It was actually easier to do than to do the equivalent to a Mac, where once merely dropping a pic named 'StartupScreen' into the System Folder would have done the trick.

  7. Bob Hoskins

    If you're running Windows 10...

    ....you're probably already suicidal.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If you're running Windows 10...

      I certainly was after trying to get a mouse to work for 2 f'ing hours in Mint once. A Mouse FFS.

      1. Bob Hoskins

        Re: If you're running Windows 10...

        What were doing running mint?! That said, the trackpad in W10 turns itself off at random.

        1. Kiwi
          Linux

          Re: If you're running Windows 10...

          That said, the trackpad in W10 turns itself off at random.

          I've seen that before with some models of laptop, a corner of the trackpad or some spot near the trackpad that with a touch turns the pad on or off. There for those who often drag parts of their hand over it while typing and accidentally move the cursor. But more commonly, the rest of us accidentally turn the thing off!

          Hate to potentially take the blame away from W10, but could this be what is going on?

        2. Singleflow

          Re: If you're running Windows 10...

          @Bob Hopkins It's probably your trackpad or a non-compatible/outdated driver. It's not a Windows 10 issue, or else everyone in the world would be complaining. Following proper troubleshooting techniques should yield a positive result.

      2. Chairo
        Joke

        Re: If you're running Windows 10...

        @Lost all faith

        didn't you know that Mint is a natural mouse repellent?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: If you're running Windows 10...

        @Lost all faith - I've never had the slightest problem with mice and Linux, not even back when I first started using it (Mandrake Linux back then, pre-Ubuntu existing, cant recall which year that was). Never heard of anyone else having problems with mice, either, although I suppose it's possible one of those swish high-end gaming mice with umpty-leven buttions might be problematic (but as I only knwo one person with one of those and he uses it for Windows games... (shrugs)). What on earth were you using that caused problems?

        1. Patrician

          Re: If you're running Windows 10...

          ",,,I suppose it's possible one of those swish high-end gaming mice with umpty-leven buttions might be problematic..."

          Why would the above be a problem in an operating system that is a "viable alternative to Windows"? Surely an operating system that is a "viable alternative to Windows" shouldn't have an issue installing/using a mouse, no matter how many buttons? If it does then it's obviously not a "viable alternative to Windows is it"?

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: If you're running Windows 10...

            Why would the above be a problem in an operating system that is a "viable alternative to Windows"?

            Because there's always some smartarse H/W maker that decides to do things their own way, needs a special driver and only provides a Windows version.

          2. Kiwi
            Linux

            Re: If you're running Windows 10...

            Surely an operating system that is a "viable alternative to Windows" shouldn't have an issue installing/using a mouse,

            Yes, well, given how long it takes windows to pick up that you've only moved the mouse to a different port, anything that finds the mouse inside a week is an improvement over that!

            I'm also one who has never had a problem with mice/trackballs etc in Linux. And I have a gaming mouse with at least half a dozen buttons I've never tried to use. Never had to hunt for drivers to get basic functionality either. Have seen Windows claim it cannot find drivers for said mouse and cannot even identify it, even though the mouse basically works (moves cursor and l/r buttons function)

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: If you're running Windows 10...

            @Patrician - you, and it would seem, some others, appear to have mssed the point (and possibly mislaid a sense of proportion momentarily).

            Not having the mouse working for a GUI-controlled system is, I'd argue, a fairly major problem, and it'd certainly annoy the heck out of me if an OS (any OS) failed to register the presence of a mouse that is in working order and plugged in when the system starts up. So I can totally understand the frustration of someone who's experienced that. What I can't understand is how on earth they came to experience that situation, particularly with Mint; the only scenario I can think of where it might happen (assuming the kit is in good working order) is if the kit is somewhat exotic.

            Now, given that it tends to be kit manufacturers being slow in supporting Linux (hence a delay of some months before Penguinista programmers manage to sort out something that'll make 'em work), that's hardly the fault of Linux, and indeed, a lot of kit comes with warnings that it's designed only forone OS or another. Despite which, a lot of kit supposedly only intended for use with Windows DOES work with Linux, due to the efforts of large numbers of Penguinista programmers.

            I repeat though - if we're talking standard 2 button + trackwheel USB mouses, I've never even heard of anyone having a problem with one with Linux, let alone experienced such a problem, hence my curiosity (and willingness to see if I can help) as to how come someone evidently DID have a problem. (I never experienced problems with pre-USB mice either, incidentally).

            And as for an OS replacement - NO OS can be an exact replacement for another in terms of functionality, device support etc for a range of reasons that I'm sure you're perfectly aware of, so it's always going to come down to what you're using the OS for. For a lot of people, Linux can give a perfectly good user experience for their daily needs, and is liable to cause them a lot less grief than Windows. For a lot of office workers, the OS is becoming less of an issue with everything heading towards the cloud and web-based interfaces. However, if folk want to play the latest FPS games and suchlike, then it's still the case that Windows is what they need to be looking at.

            I started using Linux way back not due to ideology but simply because Windows was giving me such a shit experience compared to what I'd been used to (Amigas). For a while, the Linux experience was worse, but - IMHO - Linux overtook Windows in usability and lack of frustration caused years ago. YMMV. For me these days Windows doesnt even come close to Linux in terms of usability and lack of grief caused in use (I have to use Windows at work, but use Linux at home), it's much, much worse. But that's just me. Maybe you've had different experiences.

            Bottom line - if (A certain OS) works for you, use it - and if (Another OS) doesn't, don't use that. No need to be precious about yours or anybody else's choice in OS.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: If you're running Windows 10...

              For everyone out there.

              Yes it was a highly complex 2 button mouse, with wait for it, a scroll wheel. I know crazy.

              To cut a very long story, I had to delete a line in a config file to get rid of some thing or other. It was using some enhance driver and I had to default it. Over a year ago, moved on since then.

              The point is, I've had as many issues with Linux, as I have had with Windows. Many people here have very blinkered views. They complain a "MS" update kills their machine, but will then spend hours trying to get a video card working in Linux.

              When you have probably a billion or more combinations of hardware out they, thing will ALWAYS go wrong somewhere.

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