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Zuckerberg turns his home into Creepy Robot Buddy

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Terminator

Yeah...

I bet he's got a house like the Silly Valley CEO in Ex Machina too.

Won't say anything about the presence or absence of any robot which may or may not dance on advice from my solicitor.

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I live in a gloriously unsmart house. I have dumb-bulbs, a dumb-kettle, a dumb-fridge, dumb-doors, a dumb-axe for chopping up dumb-wood for the dumb-fire. There’s a dumb-cooker, and dumb-bed (for the dumbo (me) and the dumbo’s wife), and my car has less smarts than a ZX80. And you know what, I like it that way. Private. Homely. Human-sized.

More power to Zuck if he wants a robot house, with a robot girlfriend and so forth. Just as long as he doesn’t try to foist it upon me. I wouldn’t like that one little bit.

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A.I. is happening..

... right now. Just not here at Mr. Zucks house, where Jarvis is nowhere near as smart as Tony Stark's version.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/14/magazine/the-great-ai-awakening.html

In ten years time when you phone your bank or train company or whatever, it will get answered straight away by an A.I. and this will seem perfectly normal. Also, they'll be able to understand what you are saying and sort out many of your problems which is better than many of the humans can manage now with their terrible English and lack of context.

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Re: A.I. is happening..

Humans could probably manage perfectly well if it weren't for offshoring to the nth degree.

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Re: A.I. is happening..

well, yeah but. If you are trying to build the most efficient organization possible, you are going to start using AI as soon as it becomes good enough and cheap enough. This is simple economics, and unless you are a Luddite you must see this is inevitable?

I'm sure humans could cope with taking your washing down to the river and washing it out, but you try convincing a human to do it. I'm sure if you paid well enough you could get someone to do it, but it just doesn't make sense when we've got technology which will do the whole thing better, faster and cheaper.

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Re: A.I. is happening..

It will be called AI, but it will really be 'OK bank, what were my last five transactions?' and 'OK bank, I've had my cards stolen'. This is not AI, just voice recognition bolted on to the systems they've already got.

When it can handle, 'OK bank, tell me the best combination of products which pay the highest interest based on my financial history' (and really handle it, not just recommend whatever they're flogging at the moment) then we might begin to start thinking about calling it AI.

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Re: A.I. is happening..

It would be a significant advance if a putative AI was able to pay attention and respond appropriately without you having to prefix your every sentence with 'OK bank'.

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Re: A.I. is happening..

...unless you're Scots. Or Welsh. Or speak in absolutely any national or regional dialect which is wayward of the Standard English.

Invisible conversational UIs manned by automagical AI? Faily McFailio.

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Smart toaster?

And why the fuck would you want a smart toaster? What possible benefit does it give you? (apart from annoying you by nagging you to eat some toast or muffins)

What are you going to do, put the bread in the night before ready so you can say "OK Bookface... make some toast" ? Put the toast in, but don't switch it on. Walk away and then use voice commands so you don't have to push the button down?

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Re: Smart toaster?

…well, it could help you fix your computer if it gets computer senility - albeit at the expense of remaining run-time.

Howdy Doodly Doo

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Re: Smart toaster?

Ahh - so you're a waffle man!?! Well, howdy-doodely-doo!

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Re: Smart toaster?

"Do you want some toast?"

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Re: Smart toaster?

"Do you want some toast?"

"No! For the fvcking hundredth time this morning, I DO NOT WANT ANY FVCKING TOAST."

...

"It looks like you want some toast."

Smash. Bzzt. Bzt.

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Wouldn't it be rather simple to have a door that keeps idiots out

Just take a photograph, search it in the Facebook database and if you find a match with an account, open the trapdoor.

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Go

Facebook has always been a better fit for the Sirius Cybernetic Corporation than Google anyway imo. At least we can start preparing for the Facebook guys to be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

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Black Helicopters

Why mess with facial recognition at all? Just have a scanner for the mandatory QI ID code tattooed on everyone's tongue.

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Hang on a tick

I recall not many years ago seeing an interview of Zuck where he said he invisioned that we would want to share and communicate with our fellow humans more and more as time goes on.... now he is telling us thats the rule for us lowly plebs, but if we want to communicate with him then we need to go through his metal bouncer. Nice.

For the record I am not on farcebook. Left it behind many years ago, and the odd occassion I see friends using it and whats actually on there I am very glad I did!

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SLT

Self Loading Toaster! It also has tobe able to cut the cheese put marmite on first and then toast the cheese.

Now that would be a smart toaster.

I am beginning to get fed up with all the talk of AI this and AI that, all of the crap people are touting as AI doesn 't the smarts of a hamster. To me an AI is something that is self aware, and on a par with an averagely intelligent human not a tarted up chat bot. We may be getting there but so called autonomous cars , chat bots in banks and even Zuck's poor attempt at Jarvis are not AIs.

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Re: SLT

Only just beginning?

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Anonymous Coward

I am not impressed!

Now if he will allow all that personal info to be shared with all of us, that will be nice.

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Re: I am not impressed!

Just ask Jarvis.

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Anonymous Coward

The farcebook difference

The berg has a home server where all his data will stay secure, when farcebook sells the tech to their drones all the data will be sucked into the empire for drone exploitation.

I have the UK territory rights for Brawndo, going to make a fortune the way the cvlsaion is going, as the only i's left around here will be in silicon, not the meat sacks with the straws.

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Like the rest of Silly Con Valley, Zuck's out of touch with the rest of the planet and desires to become even further out.

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Co-incidence?

Is it a co-incidence that the enxt article posted after this one is Non-existent sex robots already burning holes in men’s pockets? Have we been told the whole truth about Zuck's research?

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Joke

We can all hope...

...that this follows the AI house model from the Simpsons, and does to the Zuck (successfully) what the Pierce Brosnan AI tried to do to Homer (unsuccessfully)!

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Enough, enough, enough!

and has allowed him to talk less than in 2015

What would it take to shut him up completely?

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@The farcebook difference

+1 for the Brawndo comment, It's got electrolytes!!

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I'd swear I've seen an "Instructables" on how to do most of that with a RasPi. Combine that with the RasPi automated Nerf gun, and you've got something!

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It's not really AI though...

What is described in the article does not really strike me as being particularly AI though. Whilst I'm very happy to accept that it is certainly "artificial", there doesn't seem to be any "intelligence" to it at all. What is described is electronically unlocking a door based on a fairly straightforward flow diagram or decision tree which is triggered by various data feeds. Technically functional... but certainly not AI.

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Zuckerberg's NWO Technocratic Dictatorship.

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Delicious irony

“I installed a few cameras at my door that can capture images from all angles,” he writes.

Wouldn't it be hilarious if his IoT cameras were conscripted into a Mirai botnet DDOS on Facebook?

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Nothing to see here....

Building a robot buddy is not an original idea. It’s exactly what every other goal-driven nerd billionaire in Silicon Valley seems to want to do. Satya Nadella wants a robot buddy. Everyone wants one.

As I recall, Bill Gates and even Steve Jobs pitched these ideas and concepts a long time ago. So far all we've seen is the IoS* come out of it. If we go back further, the Science Fiction authors had it and usually not ending well for the humans.

*Internet of Shit

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Coat

A shot in the arm for AI robotic development

If Zuckerberg funds the development of an AI robot to stand in for whenever Mrs Z has a headache.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/12/20/love_robots_on_shopping_lists/

and Zuckerberg has very deep pockets

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Anonymous Coward

AI / Jarvis has really been designed for interacting with:

EU regulators and other govt plebs over WhatsApp / FB data exchange etc. That way Zuck can talk to DPC schmucks way less each year...

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Terminator

So if I wear a Zuck mask

I can wonder freely into his home, as the door will unlock itself for me?

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Anonymous Coward

WTF?

I'm pretty sure the Jarvis video is a joke.

So this whole article is unintentionally hilarious.

So are the comments.

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Anonymous Coward

Zuk's buddy Bill Gates did something similar...

~ Once M$ became a monopoly he created a Smart house too.

~ But now Bill uses his $ for more charity related work *penance*.

~ Will Zuk ever pay back his debts for Ad-slinging / Data-Slurping society?

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IDing visitors at your door?

Billionaires solved that problem ages ago, it is called having a gatehouse with a guard you have to get by before someone can even approach your front door.

Personally, I've already solved the problem. If someone rings my bell when I'm not expecting anyone, I ignore it. If someone rings my bell when I'm expecting someone, the least I can do is open the damn door for them myself. Though granted I don't live in a billionaire's mansion, maybe it is a 10 minute walk from the pool to the front door and he can't be bothered.

Hopefully the Jarvis AI provides a map to where Zuck is waiting for you for first time visitors so they don't get lost and accidentally walk into the room where he's got his Facebook paniopticon that's keeping tabs on his billion+ users.

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